Blaine: Family troubles?

Kurt: No, no nothing like that

he’s just a terrible typer and I’m not in the mood.

Blaine: lol

Kurt: how are you?

Blaine: How’s it going?

Kurt: ha

I’ll start
I’m peachy.

Blaine: with a side of keen?

Kurt: you know it. now you?

Blaine: I’m tired of children.
i hate when they’re mean to each other
it’s like, you’re 5 years old!

how can you be so mean already?
how can you be that jaded!?

Kurt: smh
Kids these days

Blaine: fo sho

Kurt: you’re so gangster blaine
you and your dork flag
and your passion for game shows

Blaine: i’m keeping it real
not letting the haters get me down

Kurt: MY ROOMMATE IS A PSYCHO PATH

Blaine: that was scary
did she delete your sims again?

Kurt: no no, she was just reading over my shoulder
that’s what you get beeyotch

Blaine: ha!
um, is she just your friend/roommate?
or like girlfriend/roommate
I’ve been meaning to ask

Kurt: oh Rachel?
lol
yeah, just friends
I thought you knew
that I’m gay

@ 8:44 pm
Blaine: oh

Kurt: I mean, I work at teen vogue
and i *like* it

Blaine: um

Kurt: are you not ok with that?
I really thought you knew
I guess I never said it

@ 8:50 pm
Blaine: I am too
gay
too

Kurt: ooooh!
then you’re probably not a homophobe
as I was starting to think when you were silent for so long

Blaine: no, no, i am not a homophobe
that would be bad
not to mention antithetical
and really awkward
for everyone involved

Kurt: good

@ 9:01 pm
Blaine: yes, quite
do you have a boyfriend?

Kurt: are you asking me out blaine?
some kind of weird long distance
online only relationship
based on our mutual appreciation of dorkiness?

@ 9:09 pm
Blaine: oh
i didn’t
um
mean it like that
just wondering
nbd
not hitting on you

Kurt: it’s ok blaine
teasing
i wish there was a font for teasing

Blaine: That *would* make life easier

Kurt: but, no, alas, no boyfriend
I was dating someone for a while
almost a year
but in the end, we just didn’t see eye to eye

Blaine: so you’re saying he was too short for you?
:D

Kurt: Yes
he was too short
why do i honestly believe you’re making that face right now?

Blaine: because i am
i’m that kid your mom warned you about
when she was like “don’t make that face, or it’ll stick”
well, I made that face kurt
and now I’m stuck forever in the mask of an overly bright smile
it’s awkward during sad movies and funerals

Kurt: you are the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met
in an online lit class
over the summer
that has a very level-head

Blaine: It’s most useful on roller coasters.

thanks for that

Kurt: anytime
So are you seeing anyone?

@ 9:21
Blaine: me? no.
sort of embarrassing
but i’ve never had a boyfriend

Kurt: that’s not embarrassing
I’ve only really had the one in college
and I sort of dated a guy in high school
but it was weird
and mostly unhealthy, looking back on it
he may have been a sociopath

Blaine: ah
i don’t know whether to be intrigued or scared

Kurt: I would say both
it was just one of those weird things
there were no other out kids at my school
and there were bullies
and i met a guy at the local coffee place
Sebastian, his name is
and he was the only out guy I’d ever met

Blaine: hmm

Kurt: hmm, what?

Blaine: hmm, nothing, i just felt like i needed to say/write something so that you didn’t think i wandered away from the computer

Kurt: oh ok
anyway
it wasn’t a great relationship
but it was... something
I guess something I needed?
like, i needed to act on “being gay”
which sounds sort of dumb now
you’re either gay or you’re not
whether you hook up with guys or not

Blaine: actually i think i totally understand
I was humiliatingly inexperienced when i got to college
and the first time I kissed a guy
I felt better
owning my sexuality or something

Kurt: YES
that’s it
that makes sense

Blaine: so, whatever happened with Sebastian?

Kurt: eh, it was high school
we went to my senior prom together
made out in cars
blackmailed one of the football players that used to harass me

Blaine: Really?

Kurt: yes
that didn’t go very well though
he, the football player, ended up coming out and I just felt like an asshole
like i forced him to
which I didn’t, because I had no idea that he was gay
but it still kind of *felt* like I made him
I felt really bad
i still feel kind of bad
come to think of it, this is all terrible stuff to tell you
makes me sound like a really awful person

Blaine: nah
i think we all do stuff that we’re not proud of
that’s what happens sometimes

@ 9:59 pm
Kurt: I feel like you need to tell me something you’re not proud of, Blaine
I mean, if it’s not too personal
oh forget it, that was jerky
why do you continue to talk to me?
I’m just gonna
go crawl in this hole
over here
or something.

@ 10:06 pm
Blaine: kurt
calm down

Kurt: ok
calm

Blaine: I think it’s fair to ask
the give and take
i think that’s part of the fun of this, at least for me

Kurt: this weird little thing we have going on

Blaine: yes
our peculiar institution

Kurt: isn’t that a euphemism for slavery?

Blaine: Oh. you’re right. oops.
sorry about that
anyway

@ 10:19 pm
Kurt: Blaine?

@10:25
Blaine: I’m working on it
i want to say it right
i guess i’m not proud of how i’m not always myself

Kurt: ?

Blaine: i mean, i’m here, “sitting next to you in cyberspace”
but i’m not really like this
at all in real life
i’m actually

really shy
I would have never talked to you in class
you would say all this funny stuff
I would have sat there
paralyzed with fear of saying something wrong
so I wouldn’t have said anything at all
which I know is stupid
but it’s just how I am
and you would just think I was the weirdo who never laughed or made eye contact

Kurt: i doubt that

Blaine: and everyday after class
i’d go home and think of 30 things I could have said and didn’t
it’s true

Kurt: i’m sure you would have warmed up to me by now

Blaine: maybe
but i still wouldn’t have been this... confident
or verbose
you probably would have eventually decided to try to talk to the person on the other side of you
and just written me off as a lost cause

Kurt: you don’t know that

Blaine: but maybe that’s what would have happened

Kurt: maybe

thanks for the share blaine

Blaine: any time kurt.
good shares all around tonight

@ 11:02 pm
Blaine: Mother of pearl!
How did it get so late!?!

Kurt: Mother of pearl?

Blaine: yes
I’m trying to cut back on swearing
I almost said “the eff word” in front of a dozen 5 year olds the other day
I would imagine such language would be a near fire-able offense at a summer camp
I’ve also taken to saying “cheese on a cracker”

Kurt: can you please give an example of how one would use that phrase?

Blaine: it’s kind of like son of a b-word

Kurt: ah yes
of course
makes perfect sense
keep me posted on these fascinating new phrases that are peppering your vocabulary

Blaine: i will
for sure
I guess I should go to bed

Kurt: yeah, those kids need guidance
and only a rested counselor can truly offer that
one who is not a potty mouth

Blaine: Those kids are bitches
sorry
those kids are b-words
I had no idea I could ever feel that way about such small children
it makes me wonder if I really want to be a teacher

Kurt: I didn’t know you wanted to be a teacher
thats cute

Blaine: thank you
kindly explain that to my father

Kurt: issues? : /

Blaine: some, no big deal
my mom is helping me with it

Kurt: I’m here whenever you need to talk
honestly
or have my cell number
call or text or whatever
419-555-7298

Blaine: i’m not much of a phone talker
but good to have anyway
in case i need to shoot you a very important text about my sims
who, bee tee dubs, got married today!

Kurt: congrats to them

@ 11:21 pm
Blaine: honestly kurt
thanks
this is nice

Kurt: i agree

@ 11:29 pm
Blaine: alright, i should really go

those kids won’t reprimand themselves

Kurt: no they will not

Blaine: oh!
i don’t know if you’ll care
but i won’t be around this weekend
if you look for me online or whatever
i’m going to meet my roommate Matt in Akron for a concert

Kurt: Matt?

Blaine: yeah
why?

Kurt: nothing, I didn’t know your roommate’s name

Blaine: oh, ok
anyway, just so you know

Kurt: thanks for the heads up
I will try not to miss you too much
and I’ll send D.Marshall your love

Blaine: Don’t you dare

Kurt: I’ll tell her that you agree with her that the Kite Runner would have been cooler if it took place in America

Blaine: she so obviously never finishes any of the books
the end of the book IS in America
so frustrating!!
and it’s such a good book!!
why woudn’t she finish it!??!

Kurt: go to sleep blaine

Blaine: ok

good night Kurt

Kurt: g’night

have fun at your concert :)

Blaine: Thanks :D

Blaine signed off @ 11:50 pm

~~~~~

A moment of Kurt

Who is this wonderful boy that I’ve stumbled upon? And who on earth just sent me a text?

----------
11:52 pm
unknown #: Guess who this is? :D
-----------

No really, where did he come from???