Blaine: Are you hiding?

Kurt: Of course

Blaine: Finn’s online?

Kurt: and rachel
I think they’re fighting
i’m not sure if she’s laughing or crying
she’s listening to adele

Blaine: probably crying then

but they’re not dating?

Kurt: no, they haven’t been together for a couple of years
but it’s like every once in awhile they hook up
and Rachel was in Ohio 4th of July weekend
and they were at a party
and

dot
dot
dot

Blaine: oooooh
sounds complicated
possibly overwrought

Kurt: That’s a good way to describe them
one time in high school they got engaged

Blaine: am i allowed to roll my eyes?

Kurt: of course

Blaine: *eye roll*

Kurt: anyway, I don’t think they can help themselves

Blaine: I’m nodding, you can’t see me though

Kurt: no, you’re right, nodding doesn’t translate well to IM
perhaps we should take this to Skype?

@ 9:37 pm
Blaine: oh
my camera isn’t working
maybe next time

Kurt: yeah sure
How are the little a-holes?

Blaine: Surprisingly less a-holey than usual
No one slapped anyone this week
or peed in the pool
which I’m taking as a personal victory

Kurt: I would too
I’m sure it’s only under your watchful eye that they’ve learned to behave themselves
getting back to the matter at hand though

Blaine: ?

Kurt: Do you like to cry to adele, blaine?

Blaine: it’s the only way to cry

Kurt: ok
so they make a movie of your life
what song has to go on the soundtrack?

Blaine: omg
i love this question
we haven’t really talked about music

Kurt: no we haven’t
we’ve been too busy mocking people in our class
and comparing eccentricities
i suppose music is a pedestrian topic compared to your sims recent divorce
are you a music lover?

Blaine: YES
I want to be a music teacher actually
(side note: I’d been toying with being a kindergarten teacher but camp ruined 5 year olds for me.)
I play piano and guitar
I write stuff
music
lyrics
sometimes
crappy stuff
but i love the process

Kurt: hello, enthusiasm!
I love music too
I was in glee club in high school

Blaine: i wish I had the nerve to be involved in high school

Kurt: it was definitely the best part of hs for me
good times

Blaine: Waiting for my real life to begin by Colin Hay
that would be my soundtrack song
I can picture the montage already
what about you?

Kurt: I should never ask questions
that i myself don’t know the answer to

Blaine: lol

Kurt: I could take the easy way out and say Born This Way
but I feel like there’s something else
hmm

Blaine: Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with taking the easy way

Kurt: that’s sort of profound blaine

Blaine: i know!
it’s impressive
sometimes I channel fortune cookie wisdom

Kurt: you’re a regular confuscious

Blaine: I think we need a font for wry-ness

Kurt: I’ll add it to the list
now we have:
wry-ness
levelheadness
teasing
stupidity (which we could use jokerman for, I made a note)
sarcasm
I think that’s it so far

Blaine: “you’re a tool D.Marshall”

Kurt: yes, we need that one too

Blaine: I can’t call her anything else besides D.Marshall
even though I know her name is Deirdre

Kurt: I know
I want to use it as an insult in real life
“you’re such a D.Marshall”

Blaine: ha!

Kurt: speaking of real life
I’m going to be in Ohio the first weekend in August
Are you going to be around?
Maybe we could meet in Columbus or something?
I don’t know
no big deal

Blaine: first weekend in August?
I’m going to Cleveland with my brother
he’s got tickets to see the Indians

Kurt: You like baseball?

Blaine: It’s ok
I like hanging out with my brother
:)

Kurt: aw

Blaine: I know, family values

Kurt: do I dare ask how things are with your dad?

Blaine: sigh
I don’t know
i want to tell you something
but i hope you don’t think less of me

@ 10:03 pm
Kurt: Blaine?
Did you fall asleep?

Blaine: ha, no
I’m just embarrassed

Kurt: It’s ok, you don’t have to tell me
you realize you brought it up right?

Blaine: yeah
I just
I haven’t come out
to my parents yet
and it’s

Kurt: oooooohhhhhh

Blaine: weighing me down

Kurt: got it
totally totally got it

Blaine: so yeah

Kurt: well
i mean, it’s not easy
I believe i’ve mentioned that my dad is amazing
and even he had trouble at first
I mean, he was nice about it
but he was... uncomfortable

Blaine: what about your mom?

Kurt: oh
my mom died
when i was 8

Blaine: i’m sorry
stupid question, i should have thought of that

Kurt: no, no
it’s ok

Blaine: i guess i just thought they were divorced or something
I never considered

Kurt: I do wonder sometimes
how she would have reacted
anyway
it’s not going to be easy

Blaine: i know
i see a therapist
who i’ve been going to
since I was little
(yes I’m coming out to YOU about going to therapy)
and we’ve been talking about this a lot
trying to come up with a strategy

Kurt: can i ask why you started going?
to therapy?

Blaine: i wouldn’t talk in school

Kurt: so you really are shy, huh?

Blaine: painfully
most of the time
i wasn’t exaggerating

Kurt: I’m nodding

Blaine: maybe we need a nodding font?

Kurt: on the list

Blaine: anyway
I don’t really know how to handle it
coming out
Paula suggested maybe i should talk to you about it
since you have actually come out
and Paula is a 56 year old straight woman
with a husband of 34 years
she thinks you might be a better source for material
also she knew that telling me to talk to you about it
would make me have to talk about it
and talking is good
bottling stuff up is bad
i’m rambling

@ 10:37 pm
Blaine: Kurt?

Kurt: you told Paula about me?
I’m flattered :)

Blaine: yeah :)

we just talk about my life
and i guess you’re part of my life

kind of a lot these days

Kurt: i’m blushing

Blaine: me too
but that’s not particularly rare for me

Kurt: blushing font added to the list

Blaine: where the hell are we going to find all these fonts?

Kurt: don’t change the subject

Blaine: don’t reprimand me
you’re not my camp counselor
:P

Kurt: ha!
anyway
I think
the only way to come out
is just to do it
I mean you have to, at some point
I guess you don’t *have* to
but it would be like living a lie

Blaine: i know
i do know
it doesn’t mean i’m not scared
like really scared

Kurt: maybe tell them that you’re scared?
be honest with them
you’re scared to tell them, but you need them to know
i don’t know how to delicately ask this

Blaine: just do it then
I can take it

Kurt: do you think
they’re going to like
disown you?
or just be sad/disappointed/confused etc.?

Blaine: I don’t know
i’d like to think that they love me enough
just to love me
no matter what

Kurt: which is what you should be able to expect from your parents
unconditionally

Blaine: i think they’ll be mad
or something
but not disown me

Kurt: ok
that’s good
that’s important

Blaine: I was thinking I’d come out to cooper when I see him
my brother
and see what he thinks

Kurt: do you think he might be willing to be there?
when you tell them?

Blaine: I think he probably would
i never thought of that
that might help

Kurt: good

Blaine: thanks Kurt
that’s like
a really good idea
i would have never thought to ask cooper to be there
I feel better about this

Kurt: Good :)

Blaine: I feel like I should give you something
for helping me
do you want to hear a song?

Kurt: um, sure?

@ 10:52 pm
Blaine: It’s me playing the piano
it’s not long
I’m not singing or anything
just messing around on the piano
but i got some editing stuff on my computer
and i wanted to record myself
usually i play this song on guitar
but i slowed it down and changed the key a bit for the piano

Kurt: ok

Blaine: I’ll email it to you

@11:07 pm
Kurt: I literally just listened to this 8 times
this is you?

Blaine: yes

Kurt: you wrote this?

Blaine: yeah
I know it’s not perfect, I mess up

Kurt: it’s amazing blaine
it’s … delicate
yet bouncy?

Blaine: i think i could get behind that description
so you really like it?

Kurt: I just put it on my ipod
I love it
what’s it about?

Blaine: insert blushing font
oh nothing
just a silly little tune

Kurt: lol
it’s late
work in the morning

Blaine: yeah
thanks for talking to me kurt
i mean about everything tonight
but like
in general too

Kurt: it’s fun. nice.
i want to find a better word than nice
it’s better than nice

Blaine: perhaps it’s

amiable
engaging
ineffable
winsome

Kurt: you’re totally looking at a thesaurus

Blaine: i just like having a lot of words in my arsenal
makes me feel smart

Kurt: so you’re at war then? :)

Blaine: sometimes
not right now though

Kurt: i think *you’re* winsome

Blaine: I think *you’re* ineffable

night kurt

Kurt: night blaine

Winsome: adj- sweetly or innocently charming
Ineffable: adj- too great to be described in words