“It might be my b-birthday, and tradition, but Kurt has s-sl-slept for like 3 of the past 40 hours and I don’t want to keep him up too mm-much longer.”

“Aw, don’t worry about me, poop. I can make it through,” Kurt says and then tries desperately to hide his yawn.

“Kurt, fella,” Blaine implores, taking both of Kurt’s hands in his own. “We can go to a ba-ba-bar tomorrow morning when you w-w-w-wake up for all I care. You need to go to sleep!”

Puck’s disappointed, but they all leave soon after that.

The three boys and Rachel first walk Kerry home and then they walk back to Kurt and Rachel’s apartment. When they arrive Kurt tells Blaine to go home.

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m really just going to pass out. Go home. I won’t be entertaining at all.”

“Or we could go back out!” Puck shouts, already halfway inside, but obviously more than willing to go back out.

“No way. I-I-I don’t give a shit. I just want to be with you,” Blaine says.

And so Blaine stays.

~~~~~

As promised, the boys spend the majority of the next day at the laundromat. Blaine had several weeks worth of dirty clothes built up himself.

“Let’s go put away your stuff first,” Kurt suggests when they’re done.

Blaine thinks it’s odd, usually Kurt is impeccable about hanging clothes immediately, but he doesn’t argue because it’s his mission to keep Kurt out of his apartment for another two hours.

When they get to Blaine’s, they hang out for a bit, watching tv. When Kurt’s hands drift absentmindedly to Blaine’s hair, he knows it’s time.

“Come on,” Kurt says, as he stands.

“Huh? No,” Blaine pouts, eyes blinking heavily. He’d been half asleep.

“You need a haircut.”

Blaine sticks his bottom lip out further and rubs his eyes.

“I will give you the best scalp massage of your life.”

“And then take a shower with mm-mm-me?” Blaine asks hopefully, suddenly much more awake.

“Of course.”

“Wait, how bout, w-w-wet my hair and, and, and cut it and then massage my s-s-scalp in the shower?”

“I accept these terms,” Kurt says. “Particularly if I get some variety of massage out of it myself.”

The boys have a lovely evening, to say the least.

~~~~~

Blaine is excited as he and Kurt make their way to Kurt’s apartment that night. He’s sure Kurt doesn’t suspect a thing. Blaine kept telling him all afternoon that they would go over to Kurt’s and meet up with their friends and then they’d go out to celebrate Blaine’s birthday and Kurt’s homecoming.

Kurt lists places they could go as they walk over.

“There’s this gay bar that I’ve only been to a few times with Rachel that I think we’d both have fun at. But there’s also this bar that has games and a pool table in the backroom that you might appreciate more. And then we have to find someplace with a decent dance floor and Puck’s going to make us go to the one where all the waitresses wear coconut bras. It’s a serious tourist trap, but he loves those coconut bras,” Kurt babbles as they walk.

Blaine swings their hands between them and he can’t stop smiling. He’s excited to go anywhere and everywhere with Kurt. He’s excited that he even wants to go to all those places and feels no anxiety whatsoever about any of them.

But tonight. Tonight is for Kurt and he knows it’s going to be great. Probably just about perfect. Not to mention he gets to reveal DiDi’s secret identity. He’s almost more excited about that than anything else.

When they get into Kurt’s building, Blaine’s impressed with how quiet it is. Rachel said she was going to try to keep the music down until they got inside, to maximize the surprise.

Kurt unlocks the door to the apartment and they squabble silently for a moment about who goes in first, Blaine is wordlessly adamant that Kurt needs to take the lead. Everyone wants to see Kurt.

The door swings open and immediately Blaine is shocked that the lights are off. Kurt walks in, hits the switch and stops. Blaine follows and hears everyone yell “Surprise!” Blaine looks at Kurt and smiles. But Kurt doesn’t look very surprised, rather he’s looking at Blaine expectantly. Blaine looks around the room, wondering why Kurt doesn’t seems surprised.

There are balloons and a sign. But the sign says “Happy Birthday, Blaine!”

He does a double, triple, quadruple take. All of this is happening within 5 second time span and Blaine can’t wrap his head around it.

He looks back at Kurt and points at him. “This wah-was supposed to b-b-be for you,” he says.

Kurt takes his hand and turns Blaine’s finger to point at himself. “No this is for you,” Kurt tells him.

And that’s when Blaine notices people there who wouldn’t have come for Kurt’s welcome back party. He sees quite a few people from his dorm. And Chad. And Cooper?

“What the hell is Cooper dah-dah-doing here?” Blaine asks Kurt.

And that’s when it hits him, like the nicest, kindest, softest ton of bricks you could imagine.

“This is for, for, for me?”

It’s been quiet in the room, people smiling, laughing a little here and there. When Cooper comes over and gives him a hug, (Blaine is almost too stunned to even respond) Rachel turns on the music and people start talking again.

“What are you dd-doing here?” he asks Cooper.

“Like I’d miss your 21st birthday?” Cooper responds.

Blaine’s so very confused.

“I... It’s just. Like.” Blaine’s not getting his words together in any kind of logical order at the moment, so he decides to smile.

“I know B,” Cooper says. “I get it.” Cooper gives him another hug, ruffles his hair, and gets out of the way. Sam and Finn come over and wish him happy birthday.

“I can’t be-be-be-believe you guys are here,” Blaine says to them, getting hearty hugs from both.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Sam says.

“Yeah. I was promised we were going to Atlantic City tomorrow,” Finn tells him, before moving over to Kurt.

Blaine turns to Kurt. “We are?”

Kurt is currently wrapped in a massive hug from Finn, who is telling him over and over “Oh man, I missed you so much. I can’t believe how much I missed you even though I never see you.” Kurt just gives Blaine a thumbs up, because his airway is cut off by Finn’s super-hug.

They’re followed by a string of other people. Chad hangs back, sipping a beer. Blaine waves, he’ll get over to him later. Chad and Cooper have found each other amongst a crowd of much younger people and seem to be happy talking adult stuff or whatever.

Blaine turns to look at Kurt.

“I’m s-s-serious. This was supposed to, to, to be for you.”

“I know. Most of it was my idea.”

“How? But...” Blaine is officially speechless.

“I had Rachel orchestrate the whole thing. And you fell right into our trap, saying that of course you shouldn’t have a party on your birthday, of course it makes more sense to have my welcome back party tonight. Never even suggesting to do a combo of the two or anything.”

Blaine smiles and rubs his hand across his eyes, feeling emotional.

“No one’s ever...” he doesn’t finish the sentence, letting it hang in the air. It’s another sentence with way too many variables.

“I know I’ve said it a hundred times today, but happy birthday, Blaine.” Kurt leans in and gives him a gentle kiss, Blaine increases the pressure and then Kurt pulls back.

Kurt looks over Blaine’s shoulder and tips his chin in the direction of the kitchen. “Isn’t there someone you want to introduce me to over there?”

Blaine looks over and DiDi waves enthusiastically. Blaine waves back and laughs.

“Oh, Kurt. Are you in for a, a, a s-surprise,” Blaine murmurs. Kurt just looks at him, questioningly.

They walk over and Blaine stands to the side and tries not to smile like a crazy person.

“DiDi, this is my um, uh, b-boy, boyfriend Kurt,” DiDi smiles and puts her hand out to shake.

“It’s so good to finally meet you!” she says, with her usual verve and DiDi-ness.

“And Kurt, this...” Blaine catches Kurt’s eye, feeling like he’s about to give him a gift. Amazed that he has this unique momento to give Kurt, a year after she pretty much brought them together. The symbolism, serendipity, crazy coincidence of this moment does not escape him.

“This is Deirdre Marshall.”

Kurt makes a choking noise.

DiDi looks at Blaine and then at Kurt. “I don’t know why he’s being weird,” she says to Kurt. “Everyone calls me DiDi.”

“Oh wow,” Kurt says, smiling, on the verge of laughing, on the verge of insanity. He blows out a puff of air. “It is really just a pleasure to meet you.” He pauses, pumping her hand and shaking his head in disbelief. “Deirdre Marshall.”

“DiDi,” she insists.

Kurt just raises his eyebrows and nods, swallowing back a thousand words and trying so very hard not to laugh.

“DiDi,” Kurt says evenly. “Could you excuse Blaine and me for a moment?” She nods and turns to search for a beer.

Kurt drags Blaine into his bedroom and closes the door before completely losing his shit. Kurt can’t stop laughing. He’s doubled over, crying with laughter.

“Oh my god,” he says. “Oh man.” His hands are on his knees laughing.

Blaine puts a hand on his back. “You gonna be okay?”

“Oh, Poop. This is amazing,” Kurt gasps, trying to regain control. “How long have you known?”

“Couple weeks. I-I-I found out the night of, of, of the last party.”

“I can’t believe you’re friends with fucking D.Marshall. This is like the best moment of my life.”

“Dude. I was friends with her for mm-months w-w-without even knowing it.” Blaine perches on the edge of the bed, not wanting to get too comfortable. There’s a whole party (of his friends) waiting outside (for him).

“Oh, wow. This is...” Kurt stands up and wipes at his eyes. “I’m crying. I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying. I honestly don’t think I’ve laughed this hard since that time you told me you had a tattoo on your ass in Sanskrit.”

Blaine laughs now too. “She’s nice Kurt. I feel s-s-sort of bad about how we mm-made fun of her all last summer.”

Kurt sits next to him and puts his arm around him. “Don’t worry about it. Without her we wouldn’t exist maybe. Not the same way. So.” Kurt shrugs. “Be nice to her now and we’ll just never, ever tell her the stuff we said about her last summer.” Kurt giggles again.

Blaine giggles, too. “She was just sss-so dah-dumb.” He makes a face of disbelief. “Remember the stuff she said about Angela’s Ashes? I mm-mean, who talks like that?”

“We really are intellectual snobs.”

“Oh Kurt,” Blaine turns to Kurt, his eyes wide. “I-I-I just remembered that the night I found out she was D.Marshall, she told me she’s dyslexic and has r-r-r-reading comprehension issues.” Blaine buries his face in Kurt’s shoulder. “We’re horrible, horrible people.”

“Poop, we didn’t know. She was a faceless internet entity. We didn’t know. Now we know her and we know that she’s nice and patient and has her own issues to deal with.” Kurt runs his fingers through Blaine’s hair.

“We n-n-need to stop being sn-sn-snah-snobby and judgmental.”

“We’re not actually snobby or judgmental in real life. It was just a front we put up on the internet.” Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and squeezes. “It’s okay. It’s just us. We didn’t hurt anybody. And we’ll be cooler from now on.”

“You just. You know... who I-I-I am and that I’ve had to deal with shitty people for ss-ss-so long. I hate that we, we, we were like that.”

“I know,” Kurt says and kisses the side of Blaine’s head. “I know. But she doesn’t know. And we’ll keep it that way.”

Blaine nods and stands up. “Come on. I think I-I-I need a drink.”

Kurt grins and takes his hand, stopping to kiss him again. “I’m so happy I can do this over and over,” Kurt says when he pulls away.

Blaine raises his eyebrows and kisses Kurt over and over, on his lips, his nose, his cheeks, his ear, his forehead, his neck.

“Whoa, there,” a voice from the direction of the door says.

It’s Cooper.

“Sorry, should have knocked. I was just trying to find the bathroom,” he says with a smile.

“Other door,” Kurt says.

Cooper nods and backsaway, Kurt and Blaine following behind him.

~~~~~

When they get back to the party, Blaine continues making the rounds, finally having a moment to talk to Cooper.

“What are you dah-dah-doing here?” he asks. “I mean, it’s awesome to s-s-see you, but what the hell?”

“Your friend Rachel is very persuasive,” Cooper says with a smile. “Also, it’s your birthday! And I had some vacation time saved up and I heard we’re going to Atlantic City for a couple days. It just seemed like a really good idea.”

“Thanks, Coop.” Blaine stares at him for a minute. “Wait. You’re coming to AC? And we’re going for d-d-d-days?”

Matt happens to be walking past at that moment and hooks an arm around Blaine’s neck. “Turns out Puck’s nana has a condo down there too. It’s gonna be of the hiz-oook.”

“I have work,” Blaine says. “Also, hiz-ook, Matthew?”

Matt shrugs. “And nope, I talked to Sarah.”

“Good lord, you people are like, like, like ss-ss-seriously thorough. I’m shocked you d-d-didn’t invite her to the party.”

“I did. She had a wedding to go to, but says happy birthday and wants to take you out for a drink next week.”

Blaine laughs and just shakes his head.

The party goes on from there and Blaine finally makes it over to Chad. He puts his hand out to shake, to thank him for coming, but Chad turns it into a hug.

Blaine smiles and glances away, taken aback by Chad’s friendliness.

After a moment, Blaine leans on the wall next to Chad and gestures around the room. “This dah-dah-doesn’t strike mmm-me as your scene.”

“Sometimes you ha-ha-have to go outside your comfort zone,” Chad explains, knowingly.

Blaine nods. “Thanks for coming.”

“Matt tracked me down. Told me about the surprise. Considering you’re pretty much the success story of my career at this point, I fig-fig-figured the least I could do was come to your birthday party.”

“Success s-s-s-tory of your career?” Blaine inquires.

“Oh for sure. I mean, given all the var-r-r-iables of your case, you’re pretty much remarkable. From where you were, to where you are and the time it took you to get here.” Chad whistles and shakes his head. “I’m thinking I might make a journal with your story.”

“No way!” Blaine exclaims.

“Would you mind?” Chad asks. “It would be anonymous, obviously, no one would know it’s you.”

“I-I-I-I wouldn’t mind at all. That’s awesome. That’s like a really cool b-birthday present.”

“It’s not much of a present, you did all the work. I’ll get all the professional accolades.”

“I think I hate you s-s-sometimes,” Blaine jokes.

They’re quiet for a minute after that.

“So, these are your friends, huh?” Chad says with a smirk.

“They are indeed,” Blaine agrees contentedly.

Chad continues smirking.

“Oh, go fly a kite,” Blaine says.

“You seem exasperated Blaine. Would you like to teh-teh-tell me about that?”

Blaine laughs and then sobers. “Are we, you and I, like allowed to be, be, be friends?”

“Sure. Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I-I-I don’t know. Some kind of patient/doctor thing?”

“I’m definitely not a doctor. But, I mean, I don’t think it’s an ethical issue. I think we have too much in common not to be friends. Would be a, a dis-ser-ser-service to both of us. I don’t have many friends who stutter. Nobody really ‘gets it.’”

“Yeah, nobody really does. Ever.” Blaine agrees, as he mulls that thought over. It’s so true.

“So, yeah, let’s be friends,” Chad says.

Blaine nods. “Cool. Then I’m not as w-w-w-worried about missing you when I’m done with therapy.”

“Good,” Chad says, as he clinks their beer bottles together.

The party is a wild success. Blaine gets reasonably drunk and hangs out with all of his friends and all the people who could potentially be his friends, including Julia. She shows up a bit late and Blaine instantly recognizes her as a kindred spirit. She’s lonely and sad, but trying to get through it.

Blaine understands these things and tells Kurt he thinks integrating her into the group is a fantastic idea.

The next day they leave for Atlantic City. Blaine is sad that Matt can’t come, because he’s not 21 yet, but he has a good time with Kurt, Finn, Sam, Puck and Cooper. (Sam’s not 21 yet either, but he has a kick ass fake ID from his time as a male stripper.) Though Blaine doesn’t have another winning streak, he’s happy to be with his friends.

Time flies when you’re having fun with people you love.

~~~~~

Several weeks later, Blaine arrives at his final group therapy class. He’s sad to see it end, though he thinks he’ll probably take another one in the future. It’s a great resource and a great way to keep his speech in check.

Megan has rounds and rounds of questions for them to answer, telling them that each question is meant to bring them to closer to a sense of closure. One of the last questions really makes Blaine stop and think.

“How have you changed the most during this course?” Megan asks.

Blaine raises his hand to start the round, because he’s been thinking about this a lot lately.

“This course taught mm-me to talk. I-I-I learned how to … chat and make conversation and feel beh-better than okay, even when, even when, even when I mess up.”

He takes a deep breath and looks at his hands, lacing his fingers together.

“I used to be, be, be terrified of fluency. I-I-I put too much emphasis on it, telling myself that if I didn’t s-stu-stu-stutter I’d have friends, that if my ssss-speech improved people would like me. But then, um, then um, I-I-I started to worry that if my spah-speech did improve and people still didn’t like me, I would have nothing to, nothing to ... bah-blame. That would mean it was me that I was flawed, that it had nothing to do with mm-mm-my ss-speech. So, I was too s-s-cared to work on it. If I never improved, I could keep blaming my spah-speech.

He’s on a roll now. He doesn’t want to monopolize the floor much longer, but he needs to get these thoughts out into the world. Because if anyone will understand, it’s the other souls in this room with him.

“But, but, but now, I still stuh-stutter and I have friends and a b-boyfriend and I’m still working on … everything, but mm-my speech is better. And people like me.” He looks around and everyone’s nodding. “I-I-I feel weird saying that and it makes me nervous and kind of, of, of shy, but it’s good. Great even. And I think a, um, a lot of it is because of this course and b-b-b-because of you. All of you. So thanks for changing me. Thanks for helping mm-me, helping me learn to talk.”

Everyone smiles at Blaine and they continue on, many people quoting him and saying they feel the same way. Some of them saying it wouldn’t matter how many friends they had, they would still feel unsure about people liking them. Blaine’s glad he doesn’t have that problem. That his tight circle of friends is all he needs to know that he’s liked and wanted.

Finally, the last request Megan makes of them is to describe themselves in three positive words. Not to get bogged down in how they feel when they’re having a bad day, but how they describe themselves when it’s just them, on a good day. She explains that she wants them to write these words down on a slip of paper and keep them someplace safe, for the not so good days.

Blaine takes his time. He loves words so much, he wants to sort them out, pick just the right ones that will never fail to make him smile on a bad day.

~~~~~

When Blaine gets outside, after saying his goodbyes and even being offered a really sweet babysitting gig by his favorite middle-aged woman (she has 12 year old twin boys and lives in a building with a pool), Kurt is waiting.

Blaine stands at the top of the steps and Kurt hops up to the one below him.

“Hey,” Blaine whispers.

“Hiya,” Kurt whispers back, letting his fingers drift lightly on Blaine’s waist.

Blaine leans down to kiss him and says “It’s fun be-be-be-ing taller than you for once.”

“It’s fun being shorter than you for once,” Kurt responds, standing on his tiptoes to peck Blaine’s lips.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Blaine tells him. “I … I wah-was just thinking about you.”

“I’m glad I’m here too,” Kurt says as they step onto the sidewalk. “It’s a nice night for a walk. I was hoping we could get milk shakes. Maybe go to our diner.”

“Well, that s-sounds … whimsical,” Blaine smiles.

They chat while they walk, holding hands, laughing.

When they reach the diner, they slide into a booth, and Kurt can sense that Blaine has a lot on his mind.

“How’d it go tonight?”

“Really well,” Blaine says. “I’m gonna mm-mm-miss it, I think.”

Kurt nods, encouragingly.

“So, w-w-we had to do this... thing. Activity.” Blaine collects his words, feeling a little nervous to share this with Kurt. He knows Kurt will understand when he sees the paper. “We had to write dah-down three positive words to describe ourselves, to make us feel b-better on, on, on, on um... bad days.”

“Ok,” Kurt prods, gently, seeing that Blaine is working hard on this. He doesn’t want to just talk, he has something to say.

“And um, so, um. Like these are, these are mm-my words.”

Blaine gives him the slip of paper.

Kurt looks at the words, taking in the boyish slant of Blaine’s handwriting, and then glances up at the earnest look on Blaine’s face, the color high on his cheeks, his little nervous blinks.

Kurt smiles. “I’m surprised by the last one.”

Blaine looks at his hands. “I … I’ve been thinking about that one a, a, a lot lately. I think m-m-maybe I am. I think maybe I-I-I have be-been for a while, but didn’t want to admit it. Be bb-bb-because admitting it m-m-means I-I-I have to keep being it.”

“But you are it.”

“Sometimes.” Blaine shrugs. “I’m a work in progress.”

Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and slides it across the table, giving it a quick squeeze and running his thumb over his knuckles.

“I’m pretty sure if you weren’t a work in progress you’d be dead,” Kurt explains, with fond exasperation.

“You know what I like mm-most about you?”

“What?”

“You know how to take the r-r-romance out of any mo-moment.”

“Says the man who recently during the throes of foreplay said, and I quote directly, ‘I want you in my butt.’”

Blaine laughs at that and laces their fingers together tightly. “I love you, even though you’re a, a, a dumbass.”

“And I love you, because you’re a poophead.”

Their shakes come then and Kurt pushes the slip of paper back to Blaine, who wedges it into his wallet. It slides in next to another slip of paper that’s been folded and unfolded a hundred times, handwriting scrawled in different inks and varying legibility.

The old slip of paper says:

1. I won’t think of them as blocks. I’ll think of them as interludes.
2. You were incredible.
3. Everyone’s a mess. Your mess is just harder to hide.
4. You need to give a little bit. Just a little.
5. Blaine you are so freaking endearing and you have no idea.
6. You’ve never been just Blaine to me.
7. I like you and I’m so happy to be with you, no matter what.
8. You are the best big spoon I’ve ever known.
9. I’m in love with you.
10. It’s just cause we love each other so darn much, poophead.
11. Your voice is my favorite.
12. I love you, so much, and I can’t wait to spend 132 years being Kurt and Blaine, too.
13. There I go again, falling in love with you a little more.
14. If I can’t hug you, I’m just going to sit here and stare at you until you can feel my love.
15. I miss you like cupcakes miss frosting.
16. There’s a lot of hope in my heart and it’s all because of you.

The new slip of paper says:

Winsome.

Happy.

Brave.