“Kurt,” Blaine reproaches, gently. “Please?”

“No, no. You’re right, of course.”

Blaine sits at one end of the couch and Kurt sits at the other.

“Um. You could at least, like, sss-sit next to mm-me,” Blaine says with a shrug and a shy smile.

“I wasn’t sure,” Kurt says honestly, as he moves closer to Blaine. Both boys settle into the cushions with their bodies angled towards each other and Kurt casually drapes his arm along the back of the couch. His hand is close enough to touch Blaine, but not actually touching him yet. He’s suddenly unsure about where they stand with each other.

“I’m not mad at you. I-I-I just don’t want to act like nothing happened. Be-be-be-cause I was really mmmmad at you.”

“I was really mad at you too. But as soon as I actually took my anger out on you, I just felt like shit.”

Blaine smiles sadly and glances away. “You kind of mm-may-made me feel like shit.”

“I’m so sorry, Blaine. I really am. I was jealous and everything got really huge in my head. And I was so scared that you were,” Kurt pauses searching for the right phrase. “Growing out of me. Growing away from me.” He hasn’t actually thought the next sentence through at all, but it suddenly seems so true. “Falling out of love with me,” he says quietly.

Kurt squeezes his eyes shut, because he can feel tears building in them. He doesn’t want to get that emotional. Not yet, at least. They need to talk and they can’t talk if they turn into whimpering puddles.

He feels Blaine’s hands on his face and Blaine’s lips on his forehead, the barest whisper of whiskers tickling his skin. He lets his face sag into the touch for a moment and then opens his eyes when he feels Blaine draw away.

“I-I-I wah-wasn’t falling out of, of, of love with you. I was trying to mm-manage life without you.”

“It felt like you didn’t need me.”

“I guess … Remember when I-I-I said how I always worry about seeming nah-needy? I guess I was trying to prove to my-my-myself that I’m not needy. That I dah-dah-dah-don’t always need you. I mean, I need you, buh-ut I don’t need you to fix things or to always, um, help me. You can’t be the only thing, only person, in mm-my life.”

“I know, I know.”

“Before you left though, it www-would have been too easy to let, to let that happen. You’re all I wah-wah-want and you’re all I need. But you can’t be all I-I-I have.”

“Can I hug you?”

“Please,” Blaine responds softly, looking at Kurt with sad eyes.

Kurt gathers Blaine into a hug and it’s Blaine’s turn to bite back his tears. He knows he needs to keep it together, just a little longer. They have to finish.

“I’m so sorry, Kurt,” Blaine sniffles into his shoulder.

“What are you sorry about? I was a total jackass.”

Blaine pulls back and smiles. Kurt thumbs at the lone tear on Blaine’s face.

“You w-w-weren’t a jackass. I wasn’t thinking about how you might take some of the stuff I-I-I-I was saying. To an, to an, to an observer I’m sure it would have sssss-seemed like I was throwing things in your face. I r-r-r-r-r-really wasn’t. I swah-swah-ear.”

“No, I know.” Kurt squeezes Blaine’s shoulder. “I really do know.”

“I wish you had told mm-mm-me about the letter.”

“I should have. I don’t know. I guess I thought it was like fate that it got lost and you wouldn’t ever need to know how insecure I was feeling.”

“Kurt,” Blaine says, smiling softly.

“I know. Communication,” Kurt says, rolling his eyes.

“I really am s-s-s-sorry, about being oblivious and, and, and not paying attention,” Blaine is emphatic as he takes one of Kurt’s hands in both of his.

“I’m sorry I about everything that I said that night on the phone, pretty much all of it. I really do know that talking is hard for you Blaine. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“That actually...” Blaine looks at Kurt, not wanting to rehash the issue, but wanting him to understand. Blaine decides it’s important enough, that his feelings are important. “That didn’t bother me as mm-much as what you said about how I-I-I can talk when it doesn’t matter. I-I-I always want to talk, or at least I want to, to, to, to always talk to you. Sometimes I-I-I know I can’t. Buh-buh-ut I always want to try.”

“I’m sorry. It’s all I can say. It’s not worth much, in the long run. But I’ll try never to talk to you like that again.”

“I dih-dih-didn’t like that you … that you had it in you to talk to me like that. I-I-I didn’t like you in that moment.”

“I didn’t like me either,” Kurt says, as he plays with the curls at the back of Blaine’s neck. “I guess, I didn’t know how to get through to you. So instead I said something hurtful. It just slipped out of my mouth. I didn’t even think about it, I didn’t even have the time to hold it back.”

Blaine bites his lip and sighs. “I think I-I-I do kind of understand.”

“Just so you know, I don’t feel that way about you. I don’t think you only talk when it doesn’t matter, that’s not something that I believe. I said it, lashing out. Wanting to hurt you because I was hurting.”

Blaine nods in understanding. “If, well, well, well... w-w-when, we fight again, you have to let mmm-me get wah-wah-words in. I’m not asking for like, an … unfair advantage or anything...” Blaine trails off with a mischievous little smile.

“Yes, because my ego couldn’t take it if you win every fight.”

“I know.” Blaine’s smiling even wider now. “I’ll mm-make sure to let, to let you ww-win every once in awhile.”

Both boys can feel the tension draining from the situation. They’re so close to resolving their issues. The closer they get to a resolution, the closer they move to each other on the couch. Blaine shifts more towards Kurt and Kurt takes the opportunity to plant a light kiss on his forehead.

“And I shouldn’t have cornered you on the phone,” Kurt says as he pulls back, eyes gazing earnestly at Blaine. “That was actually a jackass move.”

“I-I-I would have been fine actually, I think. I r-r-r-really have b-b-been working on talking on the phone. Buh-buh-ut I started to lose my grip on my spah-spah-speech and then I couldn’t find the, the, the words to de-defend myself. And it seemed like everything I ss-ss-said was the wrong thing. And you weren’t listening. I’m still sorry I-I-I hung up.”

“Don’t be. It was logical. I didn’t leave you a lot of options. And you already apologized.”

“I wish I-I-I could have talked to you. I-I-I hate that I ended up having to de-de-defend myself via email. I feel like I’m … “ Blaine shrugs. “I-I-I feel like I’m getting beh-beh-etter, but not b-better enough.”

“I was impressed, sort of relieved even, that you defended yourself. It doesn’t matter what method you needed to use. I feel like there was a time when you might not have.” Kurt moves the hand that had been playing with Blaine’s hair all this time onto his cheek and Blaine nuzzles his face into it and then kisses Kurt’s palm.

“You were rrrrr-right about taking some time,” Blaine admits.

“I didn’t really want to be right. But I agree.”

“I-I-I-I don’t think I would have felt this happy or re-re-resolved if we didn’t make up face to face.”

“Well, not really face to face.”

Blaine gives Kurt his silent, questioning look.

“More like face to beard.”

Blaine laughs and blushes.

“I’m like 99% sure you’re blushing and I can’t even see it!”

Kurt stands up then and puts his hand out to Blaine and Blaine takes it as Kurt pulls him up.

Kurt puts his hands around Blaine’s waist and searches his eyes.

“So you forgive me?” Kurt asks.

“Of course. Of course. Never a dah-dah-doubt in my mind that I would,” Blaine smiles, feeling emotional again. “You forgive me r-r-r-right?”

“Obviously.”

“I just... I-I-I needed to mmmm-make sure.”

Kurt tugs Blaine close and hugs him. Blaine closes his eyes and tries to even out his breathing. Kurt kisses his neck, his ear, his forehead. “I forgive you. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” Blaine whispers. He pulls away then. “But I-I-I hate this stupid fucking bah-beard and it’s time to shave it.”

Kurt laughs then and drags Blaine by the hand into the kitchen, suddenly all business.

“Wait here a sec,” Kurt tells him.

Moments later, he comes back into the kitchen, rolling his desk chair with a sheet, shaving cream and a razor on the seat.

Kurt puts the sheet down on the floor and rolls the chair on top of it. Then he fills a big bowl with water.

“Shirt off, please,” he says as he lays out his tools on the counter.

Blaine pouts. “You too then.”

Kurt rolls his eyes and smiles as he yanks off his own shirt, while Blaine does the same.

Blaine sits in the desk chair and then looks at him pointedly.

“Oh. All of my shirts?” Kurt asks innocently but then he unbuttons his shirt and hangs it over one of the stools.

Blaine leans back a bit, getting comfortable and taking in the view. “You’re going to have to trim it first, you know.”

“Look at you, so smug. With your wonderful abs and your stupid beard. I’m starting to think you waited for me to shave it because you’re too lazy to do it yourself,” Kurt says as he goes in search of a small pair of scissors.

Blaine smiles as Kurt leaves the room, but says nothing. Kurt’s not wrong.

“Ah-ha!” Kurt exclaims triumphantly as he returns, brandishing a pair of clippers.

Blaine lifts his chin and Kurt sets to work, letting the hair fall onto the sheet haphazardly.

“I thought you were going to make a s-swah-sweater out of my hair,” Blaine mumbles.

“No talking! This is scary.”

“You’re nah-not giving me a lot of confidence,” Blaine mutters.

A few minutes later, Blaine’s beard is sufficiently trimmed and Kurt sets about lathering him up with shaving lotion.

“I think I need to get a better angle,” Kurt says, as he moves in closer and straddles Blaine’s legs. Blaine puts his hands on Kurt’s hips, thumbing the skin that’s exposed above the top of his jeans. Blaine leans his head back and puffs out his cheeks.

Kurt starts to slowly shave Blaine’s beard off. Each scrape of the razor revealing a little more of the skin underneath. Kurt decides not to fight the urge to kiss each strip as he exposes it. Blaine closes his eyes at the first touch of Kurt's lips and sighs happily.

“Go like this,” Kurt says every once in a while, to get Blaine to change facial expressions, so he gets the best shave possible.

Kurt examines Blaine’s face and hums indecisively.

“What?”

“I feel like I’m not doing a good job on your neck. Hop up on the counter.”

So, Blaine does, leaving room for Kurt stand between his knees. Kurt takes a few more swipes with the razor and then drops it in the bowl. And then pats Blaine’s face dry with a towel.

“Well. Hello there,” he says, smiling up at Blaine when he’s done.

“Hi,” Blaine replies softly, winding his legs around Kurt’s waist, dragging him closer.

Kurt leans into Blaine a little more, encircling Blaine in his arms and then noses at his cleanly shaven neck. Blaine’s arms go around his back and Kurt takes a moment to rest his head on Blaine’s chest, feeling him, sturdy and real, underneath his cheek.

“I missed you so much, I’m having trouble believing this isn’t a dream,” Kurt says quietly.

Blaine runs his hands up and down Kurt’s back. When the rubbing turns to nail dragging, Kurt looks at him again and quirks his eyebrow.

“Isn’t it time to kiss m-m-me now?” Blaine asks coyly.

Kurt smiles and leans in. Both boys inhale deeply as they fall into a nearly frantic kiss, feeling like they can’t get enough of each other, as though if they stop, one of them will disappear.

“Bed,” Blaine mumbles out the side of his mouth. As he starts to hop off the counter, Kurt slides him off, taking on his full weight and turning around.

“Seriously?” Blaine asks, mouth still on Kurt’s.

“Mmph,” Kurt responds, finding Blaine’s mouth and sucking on his bottom lip.

He only barely misses banging Blaine’s back on the door jam and Blaine feels like he’s holding on to Kurt’s shoulders for dear life. But then he realizes that Kurt actually has him. That he has nothing to worry about. Maybe Kurt did start doing the thousand push-up challenge...

Blaine pulls a hand off Kurt’s shoulder and starts to work on unbuttoning Kurt’s jeans as Kurt enters his bedroom and lets them both fall onto the bed, a bit gracelessly, but no worse for the wear.

Kurt hovers over Blaine, finding himself once again taking this man before him in like it’s the first time he’s ever seen him. Blaine smiles and glances away for a moment, taken aback by the intensity in Kurt’s eyes. When he meets his gaze again, Blaine isn’t uncomfortable anymore and instead returns it with his own intensity.

Blaine starts unzipping his shorts and Kurt stills his hands.

“Let me,” he says, his voice taking on a deeper tone. “Let me do this for you.”

Kurt unzips Blaine’s shorts the rest of the way and pries them down. Then he does the same for himself as Blaine shifts higher onto the bed.

Kurt crawls onto the bed and lets his body fall on top of Blaine, kissing him deeply again and slowly rolling their hips together, once, twice, three times. Blaine returns the friction from below, pressing himself in closer to Kurt’s hips.

Kurt pulls his mouth away from Blaine’s. “What you want Blaine? I’ll do whatever you want. I want to do everything for you, to show you... to make it up to you.”

Blaine’s quiet for a moment, his face displaying and projecting a hundred different emotions at the same time. Kurt almost thinks he looks like he’s going to cry for a split second, when the most loving, and lovely, smile draws across his lips.

“There’s nothing...” Blaine shakes his head and blinks. Disbelief paints his face, having won out from all the other emotions. Disbelief that Kurt thinks he has something to make up to Blaine. “You, Kurt. You.” His eyes are pleading, hoping that Kurt understands. He doesn’t need Kurt to show him he loves him, he doesn’t need to Kurt to make anything up to him. But words can’t express these thoughts the same way his actions can.

Blaine starts kissing Kurt’s neck, trailing his lips up and down it, sucking lightly here and there. Kurt lets his body relax, he closes his eyes and allows himself to enjoy the feeling of Blaine, finally, so close to him.

They spend a long time like that, kissing, hands roaming, bodies pressed tight. Blaine lowers his hands to Kurt’s hips and rolls him over, getting on all fours above him and brings their lips together in a brief kiss, though somehow it’s even more intense than the previous ones they just shared. He reaches down and runs his fingers over the elastic of Kurt’s briefs, eyes dancing merrily at the thought of everything this day can hold. Everything this day has already been.

Kurt puts his hands around the back of Blaine’s neck and pulls his face to his again.

“What do you want Blaine?” Kurt asks again, no strings attached this time. No qualifiers, an honest question.

“I want you...” Blaine pauses to blush and roll his eyes. And then he laughs, uncontrollably. He sits up, and is well aware that he’s ruining the moment.

“What?” Kurt asks.

“I... Oh man. We’re like in this s-s-sexy moment and the thought that went through mm-mm-my head was ‘I want you in my buh-butt.’” Blaine covers his face.

Kurt giggles and sits up to kisses Blaine’s temple. “Luckily, I find you endearing.”

Then he slides off the bed to go in search of lube. And hopefully a condom or two.

When he returns, Blaine’s laying on his side on the sheets, the blankets pulled down and tossed away, smile quirking at his lips, boxers off, looking more than ready for what’s about to happen.

“Good heavens, you’re adorable,” Kurt says, falling onto the bed next to him and begins kissing Blaine again. He feels like he just can’t get enough of Blaine’s mouth on his own.

He lets his fingers travel right to the dip of Blaine’s ass, stroking there, lightly, feeling Blaine responding next to him. When Kurt barely presses a finger in, Blaine emits a moan of pure bliss.

“Roll over,” Kurt whispers. When Blaine’s back is to him, he puts some lube on his fingers and slowly glides the first one into crevice of Blaine’s ass. He drops kisses along Blaine’s neck and shoulder as he works fingers in and out.

Blaine’s eyes have dropped close while his mouth has dropped open. He rolls his hips gently with every movement Kurt makes, small noises of ecstasy escaping from his throat.

After another minute, Kurt shifts closer still and finally thrusts into Blaine, bringing the pleasure that’s been growing low in Blaine’s stomach to the zenith. He stays at the precipice for a minute, two minutes, five minutes, he has no idea. Kurt is working his body against his, still kissing Blaine’s neck from time to time. Blaine’s hand finds Kurt’s near his hip and lazily laces their fingers and then squeezes in pleasure.

Kurt comes soon after and then with a few deft strokes of Kurt’s hand from behind, Blaine does also.

There’s something to be said for what they’ve just done. Something that feels like consummating the next step, something that feels like a promise.

Now they have forever in front of them.