We’re halfway there
Oh, oh livin on a prayer
Take my hand and we’ll make it I swear
Oh, oh livin on a prayer

The Reading Rainbow theme song as reimagined by Rammstein (obviously)

I know, I know. This one is kind of cheesy. Fine it’s entirely cheesy. And I'm trying to make myself feel less embarrassed about it by making a Rammstein joke. But we’re halfway there Kurt and it’s the only song that I wanted to use to mark this milestone. Seriously, it’s something to get excited about. And Mr. Jon Bon Jovi said it better than I ever could.

Also, perhaps someday you’ll work on the docks and I’ll work at the diner all day and we’ll have to hock my guitar. Or I could work on the docks. Whatever you prefer. I just envision us having a terribly hard blue collar life on the Jersey shore.

Also, I feel like it’s worth noting that this isn’t the original version of Livin’ On a Prayer, no sirree. This is Prayer ‘94, the candlelight version. So much sexier than the original.

~~~~~

Kurt got back into Paris late Saturday night and Burt’s not due to arrive until Monday morning. Until then, he’ll just have to find ways to amuse himself.

Luckily Julia’s around to watch badly dubbed American game shows with. Halfway through the afternoon she slaps at Kurt’s thigh.

“I think we need to go outside more,” she tells him.

Kurt looks out the window. “It does appear to be quite sunny out.”

“We could at least take a walk,” Julia says. “Get some coffee?”

Kurt relents easily.

He’s still sort of oddly homesick at times and doesn’t like Paris nearly as much as he thought he would. But things have been improving steadily within the past few weeks. He and Julia started going out more, using each other as shields against any beautiful Parisians (or non-Parisians) that tried to make unwanted advances on them at bars and clubs. There were several here and there, but they never got very far. Julia would pull him out onto the dance floor and do what she referred to as her “I want your sex dance.” It was a great (and ultimately hilarious) way for both of them to keep the unwanted advances at a minimum.

They both had fun in Italy too, so their general ennui is much less than it used to be. The promise of Burt’s arrival is making Kurt even happier, so things are better, for sure. And Kurt knows Julia’s right, even if they are tired from traveling, that’s not really an excuse to miss out on the beautiful early spring day that’s happening outside their doors.

They go the little cafe several blocks away that’s become theirs over the past few months. They order their coffees and find a table, where they set about people watching.

He and Julia spend the rest of the afternoon companionably and then decide to go to a pub for dinner and libations, as they’ve taken to calling their several times a week drinking habit. Usually it’s just a glass or two of wine though. They haven’t had a bender since the night Julia’s vodka was lonely.

Kurt often feels lost in a sea of French and even French accents leave his head spinning at times. So when two exchange students from Arizona State sit down at the table next to them at the pub, it feels like they’re all long lost friends.

They spend the remainder of their evening with the other couple and stumble home just after midnight.

“See,” Julia says as pokes Kurt’s arm. “I told you we needed to go out today.”

“You were right,” he agrees, poking her back.

~~~~~

The next morning, Kurt is bouncing with excitement at the prospect of seeing his dad. He’s not entirely sure when the last time was that he was this excited about anything. He wanted to meet him at the airport but his dad was firm on the fact that it was unnecessary, that he’d just take a cab to Kurt’s apartment and then they’d head to Burt’s hotel together. But now he wishes he had just gone to the airport anyway because he has too much pent up energy for his teeny, tiny apartment.

And he doesn’t even have class because there were a few spring break excursion trips that didn’t return until this morning, so all classes were canceled for the day.

Burt arrives just after noon and Kurt has to fight the urge to tackle him to the ground.

“It’s good to see you too, bud,” Burt says as he pries himself away from Kurt.

“Oh, Dad, I miss you so much.” Kurt feels like his face is going to split in half from smiling. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” Burt smiles and rubs his hands together. “Let’s get this stuff to the hotel and then find me something to eat.”

After dropping Burt’s things off, they go to Kurt and Julia’s favorite cafe. Burt orders a croissant.

“You know you could order whatever you want,” Kurt tells him. “They have things besides pastries.”

“I know, but I’m in France. I should eat a croissant,” Burt says amiably.

Burt insists that after lunch he wants to go to the Louvre to see everything from The DaVinci Code. They wander the museum for several hours and Burt “hmms” and “ahhs” his way through, feigning more interest in art than Kurt ever believed possible.

“I think I’m most surprised by the size of the Mona Lisa,” Burt notes as they’re leaving. “Nobody ever tells you it’s about the size of a postage stamp.”

Kurt laughs because he’s just so happy to be with his dad. His dad in his jeans and baseball cap, though he’s wearing a buttoned up blue shirt for the occasion, rather than his usual flannel.

Burt’s tired after that, so they go back to his hotel and just order room service for dinner. They crash out on the bed and watch more badly dubbed American television. Kurt takes a seat on the bed while Burt settles himself in the arm chair.

“This has become sort of a theme for my life here,” Kurt tells him. “Mediocre plot in a language I only half understand.”

“Yeah, you haven’t exactly been subtle about your feelings.”

“I guess I thought it was going to be awesome and perfect and easy.” Kurt says with a shrug. “Instead, I’m having trouble with the language, and the city confuses me, and I’m homesick.”

“Why though?” Burt asks, in his dad voice. “Why do you think think you’re not getting over stuff a little more? Adjusting better?”

Kurt thinks about it. He knows the answer (Blaine) but he’s not sure if what his dad would think of that. He feels like it’s not an acceptable reason to be this sad or to still be experiencing culture shock after being in France for two months. However, as usual, Burt can pretty much read his son’s mind.

“Is it Blaine?” Burt prods after a minute. “You’re allowed to say Blaine.”

“Fine,” Kurt says. “It’s Blaine. I miss him too much and I know it’s irrational. I know this is temporary and I should have fun while I can. And I am mostly. I just … wish I was having fun with him.”

Burt nods in understanding, but he keeps his mouth shut for now, he can tell that Kurt is just getting started. And Burt’s not wrong.

“And I think what’s most interesting, is that I don’t wish he was here, I just wish I was there. I don’t hate it here. I don’t want you to think that. Being in Paris for five months is obviously not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. But it’s like I just carry around this dull ache of nothingness. This absence of where Blaine should be.”

Burt raises his eyebrows. “Well, that’s sorta beautiful.”

Kurt smiles. “It’s true. Things are better when I’m with him.”

“Like ya said though, it’s not like you’re never gonna see each other again.”

“I know.” Kurt asks the question that’s been nagging at him since he first saw Burt. “How did he seem last week?”

“He seemed fine. Sad you’re not around.” Burt chuckles. “He’s a funny kid. Said he feels bad that he’s fine.”

“He feels bad that he’s fine?” It does sound like something Blaine would say. Blaine always feels bad about something.

“Yeah. I guess cause you’re sad and he’s just not as blatantly sad and he feels guilty.”

Kurt shakes his head. He had a feeling that Blaine didn’t miss him as much as he misses Blaine. But that’s not really fair to think of it like that. It’s not actually a competition, contrary to popular belief. Kurt hates that the fact that Blaine being not that sad actually makes him feel sadder.

“I wish he didn’t feel guilty.” Again Kurt pauses. He’s not sure he’s going to be able to admit this next thought. It’s so selfish of him. “I just wish he was as sad as I am. God. That sounds terrible.”

“It sounds terrible, but I understand.”

“Do you? I feel so stupid.”

Burt chuckles. “I really think I get it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of Kurt. You love each other the same amount, you miss each other the same amount, you want both of you to be sad the same amount.”

Tears spring to Kurt’s eyes then. “I just hate the idea that I could lose him.”

“How does him not being as sad as you equate to you losing him? You’re doing that ass backward logic again Kurt.”

Kurt’s holding back the edge of tears now, just barely. “Some guy hit on him at open mic night. And he talked to him.”

“Well for starters, the fact that he told you about this guy makes me think you shouldn’t be threatened.”

Kurt nods and sniffles.

“On the other hand, shouldn’t you be happy that Blaine can talk?”

“I know,” Kurt is just about wailing now. “I know! But he talked to a guy. He couldn’t talk to me when I tried to talk to him before we knew each other, but now he can. He can talk to everybody! And he’s going to find someone else that’s there. Now I feel guilty for begrudging him even the tiniest bit of his new found confidence.”

“Kurt.” Burt settles on the bed closer to him and rubs his back. “Kurt. I think you’re being a little dramatic.”

Kurt glares at him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, with the death look. Hear me out. He might not be as sad as you are, but last week he told me he missed you and he tried not to let me see him crying, but he was awfully close.”

“Blaine’s not a cryer,” Kurt sniffles. “I mean, I’ve seen him cry a few times, but he doesn’t cry at the drop of a hat.”

Burt continues rubbing his back. “See bud?”

“This is ridiculous,” Kurt says, rubbing at his eyes with his shirt sleeve. “I’m sorry.”

Burt puts his arms around Kurt then and kisses the side of his head.

“I know I should be happy for him. I do. I know it. And with everything he deals with, his speech and his dad and all, it’s good that he’s not too sad.”

Burt interrupts then. “His dad stuff, how’s that going?”

Kurt glances at his father. He never told Burt anything about it. He knows Blaine at least told him about the ice fishing trip, but he’s not sure what else he’s mentioned. Kurt is sure that Blaine would have never talked about getting hit, because if he did there’s nothing that would have stopped Burt Hummel from driving to New Albany to bang down the Anderson’s door. Kurt decides to keep his answer generic.

“Um. Good. They went ice fishing. He said it was weird, but good.”

“I know he was worried about it. About his dad’s reasons for his change of heart and everything. I should have asked him when I saw him, but we were too busy talking about you.”

Kurt smiles then.

And then immediately rolls his eyes.

“Why do you put up with me? Could I be anymore narcissistic? I literally just cried for 20 minutes because my boyfriend isn’t sad enough about me being in Paris. And then I smiled when you told me you didn’t talk about his issues because you were too busy talking about me.”

Burt just nods.

Kurt buries his face in his hands. “This conversation does not leave this hotel room.”

“My lips are zipped,” and then he actually makes a zipping motion across his mouth.

“Thanks Dad.”

“It’s not easy Kurt. You don’t have to pretend to be okay. But you also need to get some perspective on the issue. You can’t change how Blaine feels, and you can’t really change how you’re feeling. But you can try to be happier for the next couple months.”

Kurt knows he’s right, but instead of admitting it, he changes the subject.

“I notice this is an awfully nice bed you have here,” Kurt eyes it and smiles. “Big too.”

“I take it that means you’re staying here tonight?”

“I mean, for the sake of convenience.”

“For the sake of convenience," Burt agrees, knowingly.

They spend the rest of the week sightseeing between Kurt’s classes and Burt’s jetlag. He introduces his dad to Julia. The three of them even spend some time together at the Eiffel Tower, which was one of the touristy things he and Julia had been avoiding. But everything suddenly seems a lot more fun with his dad there.

When Burt departs for home at the end of the week, Kurt knows that he’ll make it through the rest of the semester. Not that he ever really had much choice on that front, but there’s something to be said about knowing it, rather than just doing it.

After he says goodbye to his dad he makes a list.

1. Stop being sad.
2. Stop being sad that Blaine isn’t sad.
3. Have more fun.
4. Go to a club at least once a week and let Julia do her “I want your sex dance.”
5. Talk to Blaine on Skype once a week.
6. Email friends more.
7. Stop spending so much time watching badly dubbed sitcoms.
8. Go to all to the touristy places you’ve been skipping because you’re lazy and jaded.
9. It’s only 2 months, you can do anything for two months.
10. Call Blaine right now and tell him you love him, even if you just leave a voicemail.

Kurt feels better already.