Part 1: Kurt

Kurt subconsciously pulled on the sleeve of his shirt as he walked down the crowded halls of McKinley High School. The name that was etched on his skin itched, reminding Kurt that it was there. Sighing Kurt opened his locker grabbing the things he would need for the rest of the afternoon and putting the things he didn’t need back.

“What’s the matter, Kurt?” came Rachel’s voice from behind his locker. 

“You just seem so distant and upset the last few days. I’m worried.” 

“It’s nothing.” Kurt tired to lie closing his locker door and was immediately greeted by Rachel Berry’s face.

“Kurt, I have known you for four years, don’t think I don’t know when you are lying.” she pressed as they began walking down the hall side by side.

“I’m just tired of this.” Kurt finally gave in.

He pulled on his messenger bag and Rachel pursed her lips waiting.

“What are you so sick of?” she asked and Kurt rolled up his sleeve dramatically with a huff.

“I’m sick of this!” he tried to control his voice, but it still came out as a yell. 

“I’m sick of you. I’m sick of everyone in this school finding their soul mates when I’m just starting to think that mine doesn’t exist.” tears started streaming down his face and Kurt hastily shoved his sleeve back down.

“I’ll—I’ll just talk to you later Rachel.” he managed to say before turning on his heel and headed back in the other direction.

“But Kurt!” Rachel called.

“We have English and Glee!” but Kurt was already heading out of the school, he didn’t hear her. He didn’t care either…

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Kurt knew he was going to get into trouble for just up and leaving school the way he did, but he just couldn’t find it in himself to possibly care. He was just so tired of it all. He was tired of everything. He was tired of the bullying he has to face every single day..and he was tired of this. It made him sick, just seeing all of his friends so happy and so in love. Watching them as they walked hand in hand down the hall, giving each other loving glances during Glee club…even hug, and kiss. Kurt just couldn’t take it anymore…his heart was aching and it was breaking.

Everyday Kurt would wonder if his other half hurt just as much as he did. Kurt found himself once again tracing the letters “B-L-A-I-N-E” he shivered at the feeling. More tears then formed in Kurt’s eyes. He began to feel anger coursing through his veins just as the first few tears started to shed. Kurt choked as he got off his bed and ran into the bathroom. He couldn’t do this anymore. He can’t pine himself over some guy he didn’t know. Some guy he may never know. Some guy he wasn’t even sure existed. He was done. He couldn’t do it anymore, he just couldn’t.

Gripping onto his razor blade he grit his teeth as he began cutting across the name. Blood began spilling on his finger and trickling down his arms…. the pain that he felt soon felt like nothing and as soon as he couldn’t see the name anymore he dropped the razor into the sink and once again began to cry. He turned on the faucet on and washed away the blood—the scratches covering the name of Blaine and Kurt finally let out a sigh of relief. It was like a weight that finally lifted off of his shoulders—for the first time in a long time Kurt actually felt alive.