May 10, 2015, 7 p.m.
The Road to Realization: The First Step
M - Words: 2,486 - Last Updated: May 10, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 6/? - Created: Apr 02, 2015 - Updated: Apr 02, 2015 244 0 0 0 0
David found Kurt the next morning curled up at the end of Blaines bed, wearing Blaines sweatshirt and clutching a paper in his hands, dried tear tracks still evident on his face. Davids heart broke at the sight.
He and Wes had watched everything unfold between the two since the beginning and had been silently rooting them on, but unfortunately Blaine was a little slow on the uptake. It took Kurt getting a boyfriend for Blaine to realize his true feelings for Kurt, and being the upstanding guy he is, instead of telling Kurt and coming between him and his boyfriend, he just watched from afar, quietly in pain.
Wes and David had tried on many occasions to get Blaine to talk to Kurt. They could see that Kurt still had feelings for Blaine and it was clear he was trying to distance himself from Blaine, because of his new boyfriend. Everyone knew Jeremy was bad news, but he turned on the charm for Kurt and unfortunately for everyone, Kurt bought it.
David could see how much Kurts distance was hurting Blaine, but to his credit, he was able to act like everything was normal around Kurt. But behind closed doors with his two best buds, he let it all out and it was not pretty.
When David heard about the fight he wasnt at all surprised. All of Blaines frustration was slowly building and he figured Jeremy would be at the receiving end of it at some point. He and Wes were floored when Blaine explained to them what hed overheard, causing him to attack Jeremy. They knew he wasnt good for Kurt, but what he planned to do to him was unthinkable.
Theyd only gotten to talk to Blaine for a few moment before hed been called down to the Headmasters office, so they had no idea how severe his injuries were. Sure, his face was pretty messed up, but they had no inkling that he could have any internal injuries. David was so glad theyd listened to their instincts that told them something was wrong.
Standing there in Blaines room, David looked away from Kurt for a moment, noticing that the room was clean. Theyd left everything last night as it was, not wanting to leave Blaine. Kurt must have come back to the room to feel close to Blaine and cleaned up.
David felt a tug in his chest. Kurt was punishing himself for his conversation with Blaine yesterday. He had no idea what was said, but knowing Kurts bite, it wasnt pretty. Especially if Jeremy had told him lies to make Blaine look bad. It saddened him that he hadnt gone to Blaine and talked to him, but when Kurt was mad about something, he struck first and asked questions later.
Seeing him break down last night at the hospital had shaken David to the core. Wes was the more rational of the two, whereas David was emotional, and watching as one of his best friends blamed himself for his other best friend almost dying was hard to swallow.
Hed tried to get Kurt to stay with him last night, afraid to leave him alone, but hed broken in the end, letting Kurt go. Now seeing him curled up, obviously in emotional pain, was killing David.
He sat down gently next to Kurt and spoke in a quiet voice. "Kurt. Hey Kurt. Come on, its time to get up." He nudged his shoulder softly.
Kurt moaned and moved a little, trying to get his bearings. Suddenly he shot up, scaring David who jumped back giving Kurt room. Kurt looked at David in surprise before his face fell and fresh tears started forming in his eyes.
"Tell me it was all a nightmare." He said, his voice gravely from excessive crying, his eyes begging.
"Kurt..."
"No, no, no." Kurt began chanting, putting his head in his hands. It was then he realized there was something in his hand. He looked at it questionably at first, then recognition hit and David watched as he seemed to crumble.
David reached out and pulled his friend to his chest, muffling his sobs. Kurt was babbling into Davids chest and all he could do was just hold on and let him get it all out, so he waited.
It took about ten minutes before Kurt was coherent enough to speak again. He pulled back from Davids embrace and looked guiltily at him. "Thanks," He said quietly.
"Think you are ready to head to the hospital now?" David asked. "Wes texted me and said visiting hours start at nine."
Kurt backed up, putting some space in between them and seemingly folded in on himself. "I-I dont know if I should go. I-I mean, after what I said, he...he probably doesnt want to see me."
"Kurt, Im dont know everything that went on between you two yesterday, but I know that you are Blaines best friend, well, next to me and Wes, and I know that it would mean a lot to him if you were there." He paused for a moment, not sure if he should go on, but decided to be honest. "Look, having one of your best friends almost die puts things into perspective, ok? I can guarantee that the only person Blaine is going to want to see when he wakes up is you, so get your ass up so we can get to the hospital."
Kurt stared at David with wide eyes before nodding and heading into the bathroom to make himself presentable. He folded the note up and slid it into his back pocket. Not bothering to change his clothes or to take off Blaines sweatshirt, he brushed his teeth with the extra toothbrush Blaine keeps in his bathroom for Kurt, and ran his fingers through his hair quickly.
He emerged less than five minutes later and David looked surprised, but didnt say anything, just leading him out into the parking lot. Neither spoke on the way to the hospital, David worried that hed overstepped and Kurt just a bundle of nerves, wondering what he was going to say to Blaine.
After cleaning Blaines room last night, Kurt thought hed cried himself out. Until he found the note. He couldnt believe what he had read. Blaine. Loved. Him. Actually loved him. Thats really all he wanted and now everything was so screwed up. It broke Kurts heart to read Blaines apology. He had absolutely nothing to be sorry for. He couldnt believe after everything hed said and done, that Blaine still loved him and wanted him in his life. Of course, that was before he almost died. Oh God.
Kurts inner ramblings were cut short when they arrived at the hospital. While David looked for a place to park, Kurt closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, trying not to panic. David must have sensed Kurts distress and turned toward Kurt after parking. "Hey, everything is going to work out. Right now lets just focus on the fact that hes alive, ok?"
Kurt nodded and both boys exited the car and made their way into the building. Blaine was still in the ICU and visitors were limited, but because Blaines family want present, they allowed the two boys in. As they approached the door Kurt stopped abruptly, causing David to turn and look at him questioningly.
"I-I dont think I can..." Kurt began, but was cut off by voices coming from the other side of the door. It was Blaines voice. One he wasnt sure hed ever hear again, and it was beautiful. Kurts eyes filled up with fresh tears and he let out a breath, his shoulders slumping in relief. He was alive.
David realized what was happening with Kurt and he stood still for a moment, hand suspended on the door knob, waiting. Once he was sure Kurt had himself a little more under control he nodded and pushed the door open. The talking immediately stopped, both occupants in the room looking toward the now open door.
Wes sat beside the bed on the opposite side of the room on what appeared to be a make shift bed that hed slept on the previous night, but it was the patient that drew all the attention.
Blaines looked up surprised when the door opened and his eyes widened when he saw who the visitors were. His gaze skirted past David and locked on Kurt, and it was as if all the air in the room was gone. He suddenly felt like he couldnt breathe, his heart rate monitor speeding up, the sound evident to everyone in the room.
Kurts head was down, refusing to look up and meet Blaines gaze, but he could feel the weight of it, pushing him down, knocking the air from his lungs. He, like the other boys, heard Blaines heart rate increase and he started shaking, knowing he was the cause. His vision began swimming and he knew if he didnt get out of there quickly he was either going to pass out or throw up and neither option seemed reasonable, so he chose to run.
He made it as far as the next hallway before he collapsed onto the floor, back against the wall, knees pulled up, gasping for breath. Back inside the room, he didnt see the look of utter defeat on Blaines face, nor see the tears that had been threatening to fall finally make their way down his bruised and battered face.
David turned to follow Kurt, but Wes stopped him. "Wait." David looked to Blaine who seemed to be struggling to hold himself together, then to Wes. "Blaine told me what happened yesterday with Kurt." David wanted to ask, but held back, knowing Wes wasnt finished. "You stay here. Ill go talk to Kurt." He then turned to Blaine and spoke directly to him. "The fact that he came says something, ok? Ill talk to him, bring him back. You two need to talk this through."
Blaine didnt speak, but his breathing seemed to regulate and his heart rate slowed down just as the nurse came in to check on him. "Honey, are you alright? Whats got your heart rate up so much, huh?" She turned to the two boys still in the room with a pointed look. "He need to stay calm or Im going to have to ask you two to leave."
"Were sorry maam." Wes said to the nurse. "Well try to keep him calm."
"Yeah," Blaine said shakily. "Sorry. It wasnt their fault. Im just still a little worked up about what happened." He said in explanation. The nurse seemed ok with this answer and exited the room a moment later after reassuring Blaine everything was fine and she wasnt going to kick the boys out.
Wes followed her out in search of Kurt. He was guessing Kurt wouldnt leave the hospital, especially knowing Blaine was still there, but wasnt sure where to look, so he started toward the waiting area. He didnt have to go far. Once he turned the corner, he saw a sight that almost took his breath away. Kurt was leaning against the wall curled up, as if to make himself invisible, shoulders shaking in silent sobs.
Wes made his way over and slid down the wall next to Kurt, putting his arm around his friend in comfort. Kurt didnt move, just sat and continued to cry, not even acknowledging that Wes was there. They sat like that for a few moments, Wes allowing Kurt to get a rein on his emotions.
"Hes glad you came." He said finally.
The sob mixed with a laugh nearly tore Wess heart apart. "Yeah, his almost panic attack at seeing me proved that." Came the bitter reply.
"He was just surprised, Kurt. He was convinced you wouldnt come, even after I told him youd been here last night." Kurts head shot up at this and he looked at Wes.
"Y-you told him I was here?"
"Of course. He was asking for you, even before he was fully awake." The look of shock on Kurts face bothered Wes. "Look Kurt, I know things between you are a bit messy right now, but that doesnt change the fact that your his best friend. He needs you. And I think you might need him too."
The tears he thought hed had a handle on started to fall yet again at those words. "A-after what I said, Im sure he doesnt want to see me." He said pitifully.
"He does, more than anything."
"But, I was so awful to him, and I was so stupid for believing Jeremy." He hid his face in his knees again in embarrassment. "I knew Blaine would never have said those things about me, but I wanted so much to believe Jeremy. I just wanted someone to love me." Kurt wrapped his arms around his knees again and continued to cry into his knees.
"Oh Kurt." Wes said, rubbing his back. "Blaine lo...you really need to talk to Blaine."
"Is it true?"
Wes looked at Kurt questioningly. "Is what true?"
"What you were going to say. Does he really love me?" Wes cocked his head, asking without words. "He wrote me a note. Said he, um, loved me, and had for a while. Said he was pretending to be nice to Jeremy for my sake. Is that true?"
"Kurt, you really need to ask Blaine." Wes knew the answer, but also wanted the two boys to figure things out together.
"But Im asking you Wes." Kurt looked up then, turning his body to face Wes. "Did he really sit back and watched as I dated that asshole?" His voice held a little anger now, which surprised Wes, and he realized he needed to explain things before he sent Kurt in to talk to Blaine, because Blaine wouldnt be able to handle the anger.
"Listen, you have no right to be angry at Blaine. Yes, ok, he has feelings for you that go deeper than friendship. It was obvious to everyone but him, and unfortunately he didnt realize this until after youd already started dating Jeremy."
"Why didnt he tell me? I told him how I felt. He knew..."
"Come on, you know Blaine. He would never interfere with your new relationship. You seemed happy with Jeremy and he realized his feelings too late so he resigned himself to that fact. He just watched to make sure you werent getting hurt, and he tried to continue to be friends, but you pushed him away."
"I-I didnt...I wasnt..." Kurts anger seemed to dissipate quickly. "I was just trying to get over him. God Wes, all I wanted was for him to like me like that, but he said he didnt. I-I...now Ive lost him..." The tears began anew as he trailed off.
"You didnt lose him." The sincerity in his voice caused Kurt to look up. "I promise, you didnt lose him." He repeated. "Now come on." He stood up and held his hand out to help Kurt up. "You two need to have a conversation."
Kurt took Wess hand and allowed him to lead him back to Blaines room.