"Kurt, wait." Blaine yelled to the boy walking quickly out the back door and into the alley. Blaine hit the door hard, it banged against the brick wall outside, startling the retreating boy. He stopped, but didnt turn, waiting. "What...what was that?" Blaine asked, still a little breathless from running through the bar and chasing Kurt outside.

There was silence for a moment, before he heard a soft voice say, "My way of saying goodbye."

"That wasnt a goodbye song. That was a heres your last chance so dont screw it up song."

"I - I wanted it to be that, but Im not sure my heart can handle another chance. Its just too hard, seeing you again. I thought, for a while, that I could do it...be satisfied just being your friend, but I cant." His voice quivered, but he continued talking, needing to say it. "If you...I cant be around you when you are so hot and cold. Our friendship was wonderful, and I, Ill miss you so much, but if I allow you to get close to me again, youll just end up breaking my heart. And I..." he paused, his shoulders shaking as he tried to tell Blaine everything he needed to.

Before he could continue, Blaine had moved up behind him and touched his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. The taller boy jerked away, but did turn to face Blaine. It was there, in a dingy, dark alley, lit only by the moon and a dull fluorescent light bulb outside the back door, that Blaine truly saw Kurt for the first time.

The soft light on his face, shining off the tears that were running freely down his cheeks. His porcelain skin almost ethereal in the glow of the moonlight. But it was his eyes that really hit Blaine. The eyes that hed always loved, that shined with light when they would sing together, that sparkled when he spoke about his fashion internship, were now dull and lifeless. He had done that. He was responsible for that.

Oh God.

In that one moment, he felt like he was looking into Kurts soul, and it scared the shit out of him. He felt an incredible tightness in his chest, and was having a hard time breathing. How could it have come to this? How did he let things get so out of hand? God, he had been so stupid. His breathing became more and more ragged and he leaned down and put his hands on his knees to stop himself from falling, but was unsuccessful.

He fell hard onto his knees in the alley, the rocks and broken glass digging into his legs going unnoticed. He was gasping for breath now, his vision starting to become spotty.

Suddenly he felt a warm hand on his back, soothing him and whispering, but he was so far gone, he couldnt make out what was being said. Then the hand was gone and he tried to yell for it to come back, but couldnt, because there were hands in front of his face, over his nose and mouth. He tried to push them away frantically, but just ended up flailing his arms around uselessly.

Still on his knees, his head was pushed down, while the hands remained over this face, and he was breathing into them. Although he was still fully unaware of exactly what was happening, he began to hear a soothing voice in his ear, trying to calm him. At first, it was just snippets, "breathe...calm...slow...deep...focus...me..." and finally, when he felt the constriction of his chest ease, the words became sentences. "Come on, breathe Blaine. Slow, deep breaths. Thats it. Focus on my voice. There you go, thats better. Concentrate on taking one breath at a time. Good, good, youre doing great."

The encouraging words continued until he was able to breath normally, although his mind was still hazy. Finally, he was able to reach up and grasp the hands that were covering his mouth and pull them down, holding them between his own. He leaned back and looked up, almost surprised to see Kurt sitting there.

He knew he didnt deserve the comfort and care he was getting from Kurt. He really was surprised to see him, because the look he had before whatever just happened was one of heartache and regret. Blaine knew he was the sole reason for that look, and Kurt could have just walked away and left Blaine to deal with his own issues. Then again, he shouldnt be surprised. Kurt had always been there.

God, he had been so stupid. He was the one that always pushed Kurt away, just when they were getting close. He knew he wanted more than friendship with Kurt, but his friends somehow convinced him it wasnt a good idea. They had all kinds of excuses. You are too young to get serious with someone, and he seems like the serious type. Hes too clingy. Hes too girly. You have different interests. You are the lead singer of our band, man, you cant have a boyfriend. People need to see you as available.

That last one stuck out to him now. Theyd said people. Not guys, but people. It finally hit him, then. His so called friends didnt want him with Kurt, not because of Kurt, but because they were not comfortable with him being gay, and the two of them being in a relationship. Oh my God. With that realization, he felt like he had just aged ten years. His friends were embarrassed of him, and kept him from the one good thing in his life.

That was all going to change now. He was going to tell Kurt everything. He just hoped it wasnt too late. The pain in his chest increased at that thought. Ever since he heard Kurts voice up on that stage, and listened to him sing that song with such emotion, hed had a pain in his chest. No, worse than a pain, more like his heart was being crushed. And moments ago, when he looked into Kurts eyes, and saw the pain reflected there, and he put it all together, the song, Kurts words, his pain, his resolve...he was really saying goodbye.

He knew, after everything that had just happened, and the pain and tightness that was still present, that he couldnt live without Kurt. Now, he just had to figure out how to tell the beautiful, broken boy in front of him. Tell him how sorry he was, and that hed never meant to hurt him, and how much he loved him, really, really loved him. And, oh God, he was so sorry. And please forgive him, because he didnt think he could live without him.

What Blaine didnt realize was that everything he was thinking was coming out of his mouth in between violent sobs. He was still on his knees, and was rocking back and forth now, tears running down his cheeks, words of regret pouring out of his mouth.

Kurt sat there, stunned. Hed really planned on singing the song and leaving Blaine behind, once and for all. He didnt expect him to charge into the alley after him, and certainly didnt expect the panic attack that followed. Hed never seen Blaine so vulnerable before and it was a little disconcerting. He wanted to turn around and leave, so he would finally understand what Kurt had been feeling these last two years. But he couldnt.

So, he crouched down in a dirty alleyway in his good pants, and forced Blaines head down, cupping his hands in front of his face. He knew that breathing into a paper bag was the best thing for a panic attack, but he had to use what he had. He leaned down and spoke encouraging words, trying to calm him down. He was scared for a minute, because Blaine looked like he was about to pass out, and was totally unaware of his surrounding.

So, Kurt stayed with him, speaking soothing words to him, feeling Blaines warm breath on his hands as they remained cupped over his mouth and nose. After what seemed like an eternity, Blaines breathing finally calmed down. Just as Kurt was about to pull his hands away, he felt Blaines hands come up and grab them, pulling them away from his face, but not letting them go.

Kurt was about to pull them away and stand up, when Blaine leaned back and looked at him. He could see a myriad of emotions flash in Blaines hazel eyes. Suddenly tears began to leak out, but Blaine took no notice of them. He started rocking back and forth and a sob escaped before he began mumbling. The mumblings got louder, as did the sobs, and Kurt realized what what happening.

Blaine finally realized Kurt was serious. Kurt was actually going to walk away. It was hard to make out some of Blaines words though the sobs, but Kurt understood immediately. He was apologizing. More than that, he was asking Kurt to forgive him and not to leave. He kept saying please, please dont leave me. Then, Kurt heard the three words hed waited to hear his whole life.

Kurt just sat there, staring at Blaine, for once, not knowing what to do. They were sitting in an alley behind a bar, and Blaine was pouring his heart out to Kurt, and he was frozen. Part of him wanted to just take Blaine into his arms, kiss the tears away and tell him that he loved him too, but the logical part of him stopped him from doing just that.

So he did the only thing that made sense at the time. He pulled his hands away and leaned back, still on the ground, but no longer so close he could feel Blaines warmth.

He put a finger under Blaines chin and tilted it up, forcing eye contact. "Blaine, please calm down and listen, ok?" He waited until Blaines sobs quieted before he continued. "As much as I want to believe you, I just cant. Youve hurt me too many times, Blaine, I just cant open myself up like that again."

"Kurt, please..." Blaine said, his voice hoarse from this breakdown.

"No, Blaine, you listen. I was ready, no, I am ready to walk away. Tonight. I wasnt expecting...well, never mind." Kurt shook his head as if trying to clear his thoughts. "I dont know why Im willing to do this, but...Ill give you one more chance."

Oh my God, than..." Kurt didnt let him finish. He wouldnt be able to be strong if he let Blaine talk.

"Oh, dont thank me yet. Its not happening here, tonight." Blaine looked at him with a pained look, and Kurt just wanted to turn around and run away, but he knew he had to give them both this chance to have closure. "You are going to go home, take a shower, clean up your legs, and do some serious thinking."

"Kurt, I dont need time to thin..." Again, he was cut off by Kurt.

"Yes you do." He paused. "We both do." He said so quietly, Blaine almost missed it. Blaine felt the pain in his chest constrict again. What if Kurt didnt give him another chance? He tried to blink back the tears that were threatening, so he didnt upset Kurt, but was unsuccessful as the tears spilled down his cheeks.

Kurt reached over and brushed a tear away with his thumb, and both boys gasped at the shock they felt from just that small touch. Kurt pulled his hand back quickly and got up, brushing himself off, before looking down at Blaine. Even sitting in a dirty alley with tears running down his face, hed never looked more beautiful to Kurt.

He wanted to avoid contact again, but ever the gentleman, he reached his hand down and offered it to Blaine. He had seen the shorter boy fall hard earlier, and knew his knees would be scraped up and sore from kneeling on the concrete for so long.

Blaine accepted, and once again, the contact sent sparks flying between the two boys. Blaine got up gingerly, with Kurts help, and when Kurt tried to pull his hand away, he tightened his grip, not letting him.

"Kurt," he tried again, but the taller boy pulled his hand away and backed up.

"No Blaine. Listen, we do need to talk, but tonight we are both too raw. Im going home, and so are you. Tomorrow, if you still want to talk, call me and well get together." The last sentence was said with such sadness, it made Blaine sick. He knew what Kurt was thinking. This was his signature. Say something to give Kurt hope, then ignore him for weeks at a time.

What Kurt didnt understand was that this time was going to be different. Blaine knew something had changed within him that night, and he would do whatever Kurt wanted to prove that. If that meant going home, like Kurt wanted, he would do just that.

So, Blaine nodded his head. "Ok, tomorrow then. Kurt, I..."

"Dont." Kurt said, slowly backing away, distancing himself already. "Tomorrow." He said softly and looked at Blaine for what he thought would be the last time, trying to memorize everything about him. Not that he would ever be able to forget.

He turned and walked away then, but heard Blaine call out to him one more time, "Tomorrow."