"You know, I just don't understand it." Kurt slurred, as Blaine helped him onto the bed and slid his shoes off. They'd been to another one of Rachel's parties, and this time, Blaine ended up the sober one while Kurt drank his body weight in alcohol and was apparently feeling like confessing his innermost thought.

"I think I'm a pretty good person. Sure, I can be a bit bitchy at times but I will always stand up for my friends, and I will always be there for them. I mean hell, I even slushied myself once for Finn, and I was pissed at him, but I still did it. For him. To protect him and I would do it again. But what have they done for me? They just turned their head the other way and pretended that they didn't see what was happening to me. I had to change schools, for God sake. I had to leave everything behind because no one noticed, and I guess that's just my life huh? Nobody notices me. I don't understand it. Am I really that unlovable?"

Blaine, who had been in Kurt's bathroom getting a glass of water and ibuprofen stopped short when he heard Kurt say that. The sadness in his voice made Blaine's heart clench and he felt like he couldn't breath. How could Kurt feel that way? He had been trying to get up the courage to tell Kurt how he felt about him for a while now, but he'd not been able to find the right time. He was hoping tonight would be the perfect chance, but then Kurt decided to start drink and Blaine knew he'd have to wait again.

Unaware of Blaine's emotional turmoil in the bathroom, Kurt continued his drunken tirade. "Do people just really not care about me? What is it about me that people find so unattractive, untouchable, unlovabe. I don't get it. I mean look at you...the most perfect, beautiful person and you noticed me and wanted to be my friend, and that's great, and I'm so happy about that, but that's it. Can't you open up your eyes and look at me? Am I really that ugly, that unlovable, that...can't you just care about me?"

Blaine literally felt like he was having a heart attack, his chest hurt so much with every word out of Kurt's mouth. He took the water and pills into the bedroom where Kurt was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Blaine knew he couldn't tell Kurt everything he was feeling, but he needed him to know he was wrong, so he spoke up. "Kurt, you are not unlovable and I do care about you and..."

"You know what Blaine, really, I don't want to hear it, I can't listen to you anymore." He sat up then, swaying a little, and looked right at Blaine. "You know what? You might be the most beautiful man I have ever seen, but you are also so frustrating." Kurt continued to slur his words, but Blaine heard every one loud and clear.

"Is that right?" Blaine asks, and Kurt hums "Mmmhmm."

Blaine quirks his eyebrow and says, "So, please enlighten me. Why am I frustrating?" Blaine is pretty sure he knows, but wants to hear what drunk Kurt has to say. He walks toward the bed and piles some pillows up behind Kurt, encouraging him to lean back, which he does.

"Beeeeeecause," Kurt says, drawing out the word and making Blaine smile. "I have done everything I can possibly do to show you that I'm in love with you, but yet, you still pick everyone else over me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

Blaine just stares at him with a surprised look on his face, not expecting Kurt to be this forthcoming about his feelings. Kurt rolled his head over from his spot on the pillow and looks back up at Blaine with a tear forming in his eye, and Blaine's smile fades and his breath catches as Kurt continues.

"I've always known I would end up alone. This stupid town. People don't appreciate me being me. But then I met you, and it seemed like everything felt right. We just clicked and I really thought we had a connection, other than best friends. I mean God, I fell in love with you so quickly and you did nothing to dissuade me and then all of the sudden you start going after everyone else. Jeremiah and his stupid big hair and Rachel...God Rachel, one of my best friends, and a girl, Blaine. Am I really that unattractive?" Kurt huffed and rolled his head so he wasn't looking at Blaine anymore and pulled his arms in around himself as if to protect him from all the feelings that were pouring out of him.

Blaine just stood there in shock, not sure what to do. Hell yes, he had feeling for Kurt, but he knew it wasn't the right time to tell him. He knew from the moment he saw Kurt. I mean, come on, the boy was breathtaking. And when he sat across the table from him on that first day and watched him cry, Blaine felt a connection right away. But no matter what he felt at the time, he though Kurt needed a mentor to help him, not anything more.

Yes, he knows he made a mistake with Jeremiah. He'd been stupid. He was trying to keep his mind off his growing feelings for Kurt and when the older Jeremiah had asked him for coffee, Blaine got a little carried away. Then there was Rachel and the stupid drunken kiss. And he was confused, because it felt nice and since he'd never kissed anyone before, he wasn't sure if it was nice because he was drunk or because he liked kissing her.

But he realized that kissing wasn't supposed to feel nice, it was supposed to feel amazing, and he wonders all the time now what it would feel like to kiss Kurt. He wishes that it would have been Kurt he kissed during spin the bottle. Then maybe they wouldn't have gone through their fight and stuff. But they made it though everything and he thought it was all ok.

He never realized he had been making Kurt feel this way. All those times they'd sung together, held hands, sat close and whispered to each other. It had always been Kurt and he'd hurt him over and over again. Oh God.

He looked over at Kurt who had pulled himself into a little ball on the bed and his body was shaking. Blaine moved across the room and stood by the bed, leaning over to gently touch Kurt's shoulder. Kurt jerked away and sobbed out loud.

"Oh Kurt..." Blaine said, his voice shaking, his heart breaking.

As if shocked, Kurt flipped over and sat up, looking Blaine right in the eye, tears still shimmering in the beautiful blue depths.

"You know what?" Kurt said, suddenly sounding incredible lucid after being incredibly drunk moments ago. "I'm done. I can't wait anymore. I can't do this anymore. I really, really like you Blaine, and I know I'm supposed to be Sally, but I just can't. Obviously I'm not worth it, so please leave."

"God Kurt, that is so not true, you know that." Blaine said, trying to reach out to Kurt again. Kurt just shuffled backward on the bed, avoiding any contact, and pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

"No, I don't know that. Not when everybody has shown me something else. From my stupid attempt at pretend dating with Brittany to my hate kiss from Kurofsky, and my stupid crush on Finn, then Sam, and you...I'm just done. I'm over it. I'm just going to be forever alone, and that's ok. But right now, you just need to get out."

"But Kurt," Blaine said gently, slowly trying to inch toward him.

"NO!" Kurt yelled, and Blaine froze at the coldness in Kurt's voice.

"Kurt..." He tried again.

"No Blaine. Not this time. We'll go back to being friends, we'll go back to normal, but not now. Soon, I promise. I'll let you know, but right now, I just can't do this anymore. Please just get out of room. And for a little while, get out of my life."

Blaine's eye's teared up and he started shaking. "Kurt, no."

Kurt looked up then, his eye's hard and cold. "I. Said. Get. Out."

Blaine just stared, not even recognizing the boy in front of him. His heart beating erratically, tears still running down his face. Oh my God, he thought. What have I done? I just ruined the best friendship I've ever had and possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me. He stood there for a few more minutes, waiting for Kurt to give in, but he just continued to stare hard at Blaine, never flinching.

When he realized Kurt wasn't changing his mind, his shoulder slumped and he turned and shuffled toward the door, turning back once more, hoping to say something, to make Kurt see. Kurt just shook his head and nodded toward the door. Blaine opened it and stepped through, closing the door behind him. The click sounded final. Blaine let the tears fall as he walked down the stairs and out Kurt's front door, feeling as though he'd just left behind his future.

When Kurt woke up the next morning he felt horrible. He only remembered bits and pieces of what happened, but the last 5 minutes, his conversation with Blaine, was crystal clear and he felt like an idiot. Sure, he'd been wanting to say those things for a while, and yes, everything he told Blaine was true and exactly what he was feeling all the time, but he didn't really want him to go away.

It seemed easier at the time, telling him to leave. Out of sight, out of mind and all, but actually following through had been hell. Not texting Blaine or talking to him had been taking a toll on him. Ignoring Blaine's texts and calls was not easy and after a week of no communication, he'd cried so many tears he was surprised he wasn't dehydrated.

He was barely eating and his dad had taken notice, but he waved it off saying his stomach had been upset. Even Glee club hadn't been able to cheer him up. He couldn't even bring himself to actually sing and he wasn't sleeping even though he'd go to bed at 8:00 so he didn't have to distract himself with thoughts of Blaine. Instead, he'd lay in bed, tossing and turning.

He just felt so stupid. He really didn't want Blaine out of his life, even for just a week or two, but maybe he needed him out of his life. Maybe this was for the best. Although the pain in his heart begged to differ.

He was so mad at himself. Kurt Hummel was not weak, so why couldn't he bring himself to call Blaine? Because he was embarrassed, that's why. He couldn't believe he'd actually told Blaine that he was in love with him. And honestly, he couldn't face him after that.

Blaine kept texting and Kurt tried hard not to read them, but he was weak and he'd read everyone. They all said basically the same thing...we need to talk about this. The hardest ones to ignore were the ones when he claimed to miss him.

As much as he wanted to reach out, Kurt was just too embarrassed. He couldn't face Blaine, couldn't hear him say they were only friends. He just couldn't deal with that heartache again. So, he did what he did best. Ignored the situation. Hid his feelings away and pretended that it would go away on it's own. And he did a pretty good job of it during the week, but by the time the weekend came around, and he had nothing to fill his time, he was so over it.

So he decided that it was time to suck it up and be a man. He was going to go to Dalton and talk to Blaine. If he told him they could just be friends, well then, Kurt would come back and cry, but he would go on. After all, spending a week not talking to Blaine had been torture, so he knew there was no way he could ever cut Blaine out of his life for good. He needed him in his life in whatever capacity he could get.

Blaine had been hoping that Kurt had been so drunk that he didn't remember what happened that night, but true to his word, Kurt went radio silent, ignoring all texts, calls and emails from Blaine. But Blaine was persistent. He continued to text and call constantly. He had hoped Kurt would only need a couple of days to himself, but after nearly a week of no contact, Blaine was falling apart.

He was barely sleeping because when it was quiet and still, that was when he remembered everything Kurt had said to him. He was hurt, and not because Kurt was wrong, but because he was so right. Blaine had been an ass. He'd taken Kurt for granted and now he was paying the price. He'd lost Kurt for good.

The dark circles under his eyes didn't stop him from staying busy. As a matter of fact, since that night, Blaine hadn't stopped. He threw himself into anything and everything he could, because when he was still, he fell apart.

Wes noticed the lack of sleep first, but it was David who realized Blaine hadn't been eating. The two council members were sitting in the common room having coffee Saturday morning when they saw Blaine run by the window. Both looked at each other quizzically and then back outside, where it was clear Blaine was going for a run.

"When did Blaine take up running?" David asked.

"I think the better question is why is he up so early on a Saturday, when you and I both know he loves to sleep in."

"So do you think it's Kurt?" David asked.

"I think it's a pretty safe bet." Wes answered.

"Geez, I knew Kurt transferring back was going to be difficult for Blaine because they'd gotten so close, but I didn't think it would affect him like this." David said.

Wes shook his head as he reached for his coffee. "No, it's more than that. Something happened." David cocked his head in question. "Think about it. Last week was Kurt's first week gone and yeah, Blaine was moping around like a love sick puppy missing his owner, but he wasn't anything like this. I think something happened between them this weekend. Didn't he go to see Kurt?"

"I think so." David replied. "I thought I heard them talking about going to another party at Rachel's."

"Yeah, because the first one turned out so well." Wes said sarcastically. "Seriously, though. Something must have happened because I haven't heard him mention Kurt once this week, but he's been staring at his phone as if he's waiting for something, and he's been texting constantly."

"Maybe they had a fight." David guessed.

"Maybe, but they've never gone this long without talking before, so it must be pretty serious." Wes said, worry evident in his voice. "And have you noticed the dark circles under his eye's? I don't think he's been sleeping."

"Well he certainly hasn't been eating." David added, and Wes's head shot up.

"He hasn't? I've not been able to have lunch with you guys much this week so I didn't know that." Wes said, his concern growing by the minute.

"Not from what I can tell. He just pushes his food around and stares at it, then leaves."

"Oh man." Wes moaned. "This is worse than I thought. He's been pushing himself so hard and I can tell he hasn't been sleeping. I know how he is during exams, and this is so much worse. And now you telling me he's not eating. I'm getting worried."

"Yeah, he has been looking a little shaky, and what's he doing out running? Seriously, where did that come from?" David questioned.

Wes shook his head. "I don't know, but I think we need to talk to him, though."

"Yeah, I think that's a good plan. Should we maybe call Kurt?" David asked, thinking Kurt might be able to get through to Blaine.

"No. No way. We are not getting in the middle of whatever they have going on. We'll just do what we can to cheer up our friend and stay out of all the drama." Wes said.

The two boys had been sitting there for over an hour talking about Blaine and eventually discussing Warbler business, when they realized they hadn't seen Blaine come back. They looked at each other then, both standing and walking toward the door, throwing their coffee cups away on the way out.

"Let's take a walk around the grounds. See if we can find Blaine. Maybe we can talk to him before practice." Wes said as they walked down the stairs toward the sidewalk.

"Sound's like a plan." David said, and they followed the sidewalk around the side of the building. Both boys froze as they saw Blaine on the ground a few yards in front of them.

Suddenly they were both running toward him yelling, "Blaine, Blaine. Are you ok man?"

Blaine's head shot up quickly, his eye's frantic. "Yeah, yeah." He said, looking a little dazed. "O-of course. I'm fine."

Wes and David looked down at him in disbelief. "Blaine, you are sitting on the ground in the dirt. You went out running. It's Saturday morning. You are usually still in bed. What the hell?" David said, clearing not taking Blaine at his word.

"I-I just felt like running today. No big deal." Blaine stuttered.

"Then what are you doing on the ground?" Wes said, using his authoritative voice.

"Oh, uh, I uh, had a cramp, you know, while I was running, so I sat down to stretch." Blaine stumbled, clearing lying.

"In the middle of the dirt?" David questioned. "When there is a perfectly good bench right over there?"

"I needed to stretch quickly and get rid of the cramp so I didn't trip or something." Blaine tries to explain. "Really, I'm perfectly fine." He said and got up quickly, brushing himself off. "I gotta run. I really need a shower." He turned to leave but David's voice stopped him.

"Hey, we wanted to talk to you for a minute."

"Sorry man, not right now. I've got to go. I have to shower and I have a paper due Monday that I need to get a head start on, so..." He trailed off.

Wes put his hand on Blaine's shoulder "Blaine, just..." But Blaine didn't let him finish as he shrugged off Wes's hand and turned away.

"Sorry guys, but I really have to go." He said over his shoulder as he took off running toward the dorms, leaving his two friends even more worried.

"Don't forget Warbler practice, three o'clock." David yelled at Blaine's retreating back, and they saw Blaine raise a hand in acknowledgement before disappearing around the building. "Ok, something is definitely wrong." David said, and Wes nodded in agreement.

"We'll just have to corner him after Warbler practice today and get to the bottom of it." Wes said, a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

When Blaine got back to his room he finally allowed himself to breath. He knew David and Wes didn't believe his lies about a cramp, but he certainly couldn't tell them he'd passed out. He'd just have to be more careful. Sure, he'd been feeling dizzy for a few days, but that was probably just because he hadn't been eating that well, or sleeping that well, if he was being honest.

He wasn't doing it on purpose. He just wasn't hungry and every time he tried to eat, his stomach would turn and he'd feel nauseous. And he was having trouble sleeping too, his mind always going back to that conversation with Kurt and the hurt in his voice and all the terrible things he'd said about himself. It made Blaine want to crawl in a hole and die, knowing that Kurt thought he was anything less than perfect. He'd called Blaine perfect, when in reality it was Kurt who was perfect.

The thought that he'd lost Kurt forever made his skin crawl and if he allowed himself a moment of quiet, he'd sink deep into a depression, so he made sure he was busy all the time. School work, Warbler's practice, social media, and yes, he'd even take up running, although that hadn't worked out too well, so he might have to re-think that. Maybe he'd go to the gym and do some boxing. Yeah, that would be perfect.

He didn't have time now, because after his shower, he really did want to start on that paper he had due, then he had Warbler's practice, so maybe after that, he'd hit the gym. It'd give him a good reason to skip dinner too. Perfect. And maybe, just maybe, he'd wear himself out enough to so he'd pass out and not dream about Kurt. Hell, he'd even considered drinking, but knowing his luck, he'd be a sad drunk and end up crying himself to sleep. That wouldn't help anything.

After his shower, he was so focused on his paper that he was almost late for Warbler practice, which worked out in his favor, as he was trying to avoid Wes and David's interrogation. He saw the two of them share a look as he slid into an open seat on the couch just as Wes called the meeting to order.

Blaine was perfect during practice. He hit every note and every cue on time and had boundless energy, surprising his two friends. Wes was even more concerned though, because the energy that Blaine was exuding wasn't a good kind of energy. It was very frantic and spastic and his movements were all over the place. He was obviously pale and had a hard time sitting still and not in a good way.

Sure, Blaine was always moving and doing but this was even more pronounced, with his leg jiggling up and down constantly and his fingers tap, tap, tapping on his leg without stopping.

As soon as practice was dismissed, Blaine grabbed his bag and made a quick move toward the door.

"Blaine!" Wes yelled, stopping him. Blaine turned slightly toward his friend, but still facing the door.

"Yeah man?" He replied trying to appear as nonchalant as possible.

"Can you hang back for a minute? David and I need a word."

"Sorry, but I've got to go. That essay I was working on is almost finished and I was in a zone, so I really need to get back to it." He didn't wait for Wes's response before leaving.

"Blaine." Wes yelled. "It's Saturday, you have tomorrow to finish and it's important."

Unfortunately Blaine did not stop and ended up yelling over his shoulder once he was out the door. "Sorry man, I'll catch you later."

Wes looked over at David, shaking his head again. "Something is really wrong. Maybe we do need to call Kurt."

"Call me about what?" Said a voice from the door.