We had argued on and off all weekend over casting. Finally, we had decided that we would bring Valerie to callbacks, and then we would make decisions. I didn’t even tell her what part we were considering her for, but she did well anyway. I was dead-set on her being our Motel, but I had a feeling that it would take something huge in order to change Blaine’s mind. Sebastian was a different story. He seemed to have one goal—pleasing Blaine. If Blaine changed his mind, I knew Sebastian would agree with him in a heartbeat. Irritating me was not as important to Sebastian as getting on Blaine’s good side, apparently. Mike was still on my side, backing me completely. Brittany was also pro-Valerie, but no one seemed to listen to her suggestions. I felt bad for her, actually. Everyone seemed to assume that just because Brittany’s English wasn’t the greatest that she was stupid. I could tell that it irritated her, but at the same time it was hard to take her seriously when she was always saying idiotic things. Still, it was undeniable that she was a great dancer, and that she knew her stuff.

Halloween had quickly approached, and as promised I had finished a costume for Annabel. It was nothing more than a pink tutu with a bedazzled pink leaotard, but she was convinced it looked just like Galinda. She had asked me to go trick-or-treating with her earlier in the week, and I had consented. Of course, this was before things between Blaine and I had become so tense. I wasn’t backing out—that wouldn’t be fair to Anna, after all—but I certainly wasn’t looking forward to it. We met in the living room at five, late enough that people would be home but early enough that we wouldn’t have to deal with teenagers. Anna looked adorable, with her hair in perfectly formed ringlets and a tiara fixed to the top of her head. Blaine and I were dressed casually, with a ridiculously hot pink candy bag in his hand.

“I need both hands for my wand,” Anna explained, “And so we can hold hands!” She tucked her little hand in mine, and led the way outside.

We stuck with faculty houses. There were a few dozen across the campus, so Anna made a good haul. Everyone commented on how gorgeous she looked, though few recognized that she was supposed to be Galinda. Blaine and I were quiet, responding to her chatter when needed. All in all, the night was rather uneventful. The only exception was Puck’s house.

Puck had basically been giving Blaine the silent treatment all week. It seemed that he was more offended by Blaine’s behavior than I was. I supposed it made sense. Puck had been Blaine’s mentor, after all. He and I both knew that something was wrong with Blaine, but neither of us knew how to deal with it.

When Anna rang the bell at Puck’s house, he quickly opened up the door. As angry as he was at Blaine, it was impossible to ignore Anna.

“Jelly-Belly!” He cried out, “How come your Daddy hasn’t brought you to visit me yet this year?” He handed her a bowl of candy, which she began to rifle through.

“So,” He began, looking up at Blaine and me, “Are you two friends again?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t we be?” Blaine asked, honestly curious.

“I don’t know, maybe because you slept with Seb—” Puck answered, venom lacing his voice. I quickly cut him off.

“Everything is fine, Puck.”

“Noah, you know that I didn’t—” Blaine started, but this time Anna interrupted.

“May I have two pieces?” She asked, holding up a small package of M&Ms and a lollipop. “I can’t decide.

“Here ya go, munchkin.” Puck replied, ruffling her hair and dropping a handful of candy in the basket Blaine was carrying.

“You’ll mess up my crown!” She cried, laughing as she pushed his hand away. She reached out to hug him, squealing as he picked her up and spun her around.

“Careful,” he said, “My back isn’t quite as strong as it used to be. Although, the ladies don’t seem to mind,” He whispered the last part in my direction with a wink. I rolled my eyes, happy to see that Puck was back to normal.

Once we were back home and Anna was bathed and in bed, Blaine sat down with me at the kitchen table. He poured us tea, sitting there silently.

“Did you ask me to sit with you with the intention of talking to me this time?” I asked after a moment. “Because if not I have papers to grade.”

“I want… I want to tell you why. Why I’ve been so…” Blaine trailed off, lost for words.

“Douche-y?” I supplied.

“Yeah, I guess so. I said before, I’m not an asshole. I’m really not.” Blaine looked me in the eyes, pleading for me to believe him.

“I don’t think you’re an asshole.” I said truthfully, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know what the hell is going on. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“I want to explain. Just, don’t say anything, okay? I don’t know if I’ll be able to start talking again if you stop me. I’ve never really talked about this before.” The intensity in Blaine’s eyes frightened me, but I nodded readily. “I don’t want Valerie to get hurt. That’s what it all comes down to, really. I never worried about her, really, until this year. When we went to New York, and Aikya said that… It scared me. Because Lake Vermont is supposed to be safe. It’s supposed to welcome differences—it’s even in the school motto. Lake Vermont is supposed to be accepting of all people, just like San Francisco was supposed to be safe.

“I don’t talk much about my past. You’ve probably noticed that. I lived in San Fran for my entire childhood, up until high school when I started Dalton. My parents were open about sexuality; my sister and I were told that it was okay to be different. I thought everyone thought that. I didn’t try to hide. I came out at fourteen. I used to be different—flamboyant, obvious. I wasn’t afraid. But I should have been. One day, in the summer before my freshman year at Dalton, a group of jocks from my middle school ganged up on me when I was at the mall with some friends. They started pushing me around, taunting me. My friends ran off, scared. The boys didn’t stop though, if anything they got worse.” At this, Blaine broke eye contact with me. He tried to discretely wipe his eyes, and I looked away. Every single fiber of my being was longing to reach out and pull Blaine into a hug, but I knew that wasn’t what he needed right now. After taking a deep breath, Blaine began again.

“The biggest one pulled me into the nearest bathroom. There were people around, and they were afraid of getting caught, I guess. The bathroom was empty, and the next thing I knew I was being tied into a handicap stall. They left me tied there, laughing as I cried. It was half an hour before someone heard my cries and helped me out. By that time I was too upset to even say who had done it. Everyone simply laughed it off—boys will boys after all. And in reality it wasn’t all that bad. I hadn’t even thought about it for years, until now.” Blaine took my hand, holding it tightly. “I thought that I was in an open-minded city and I let my guard down. I can’t let that happen to Valerie.”

I couldn’t resist anymore, looking into Blaine’s imploring eyes. I broke our hands apart before engulfing him in my arms. “Oh, Blaine. I’m so sorry that happened to you.” I said, clutching him even tighter to my chest.

Blaine leaned into my arms, burrowing his head in my shoulder. “I know Valerie deserves that role. And I know she—that he would kick ass at it. But I’m terrified that he’s going to get hurt because of it.”

“I wish you had talked to me earlier. I wouldn’t have pressured you, if I had known.” I wince, already regretting the petulant tone I know will come out at my next sentence. “But, why did you go to Sebastian instead of me?”

Blaine pulled himself out of my arms so quickly I thought he would get whiplash. “Kurt,” he pleaded, voice breaking. “Sebastian means nothing to me. That’s why I invited him over. I was freaking out, and I knew you would want to talk. Sebastian was fine with just drinking my problems away with me. I hate that I hurt you. I never meant that.”

“You did nothing wrong, Blaine.” I finally said, “You don’t owe me anything. I’m just your flat mate.”

Blaine’s face crumpled, going from apologetic to completely devastated. “Oh.” He said, but that one syllable says more than a speech could have.

“Did you think we were something more?” I asked, nearly whispering. I held my breath, terrified that I’d said the wrong thing.

“I don’t know. I wanted to be.” Blaine stood up, red faced and ashamed. He made as if to leave for downstairs, but I didn’t let him get away with it this time. I’m up and out of my chair in an instant. I grabbed his arm to stop him, but when he whipped around it isn’t to talk.

His lips met mine tentatively. It’s a question and an answer all in one. He seemed to like my answer, because the next thing I know we were making out like teenagers, right in the middle of the kitchen. Teeth clashing with teeth, tongues getting tangled up in each other. There isn’t time for breathing, or even thinking. It’s desperate, it’s pleading. It’s everything we’ve both been wanting since the first night we met. His arms wrapped around me, clutching my ass frantically. My hands tangled in his hair, fighting against the gel. It’s too much, and not enough, and just right wrapped into one. Our kisses slowed, getting softer and lighter. I begrudgingly pulled away, staring up into his eyes. They’re clear and bright, glistening with delight. The brokenness is still there, but it’s lessened by the happiness that had been missing.

“Oh.” He said again, and this time the meaning was different. It was part wonder, part excitement, part utter joy.

“I’m sorry.” I blurted, and the hurt expression that filled his face is enough to make me hurry to continue. “I’m not sorry I kissed you,” I correct myself, “I’m sorry I was so hard on you over Valerie. I should have trusted your judgment. I’m sorry I was so jealous of Sebastian, and—”

“Kurt,” Blaine interjected, “It’s okay. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He pulled me closer, tucking his head on my shoulder again. “I missed you this week. You were there, but I’d ruined everything. I thought you’d never talk to me again.”

I stroked his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “It’s late. We have school in the morning, and a cast list to finalize. Let’s go to bed and we can discuss this tomorrow?” Blaine pressed a parting kiss to my lips, chaste and hopeful, and left for downstairs. I made my way to my room, giddy with the taste of Blaine on my tongue. It wasn’t until I reached my bed that I realized that I’d just complicated things so much more. Being with Blaine, if we even are together, didn’t do anything to solve any of my problems. But then I remembered the feeling of his body against mine, his eyelashes fluttering against my cheek. I had been tempted with the idea of having something with Blaine, and I couldn’t give it up now. I drifted off with a smile on my face, happier than I’ve been in a while.