Chapter 21.
I Thought You Were Different.

The doors closed behind me with a bang. I tried to get down the steps but breathing was hard, I grabbed the railing as my knees gave in with the weight under me. I choked and let the most inhuman cry out ever. I can't believe I'd let myself fall for it, make myself believe in it. 

"Don't be ridiculus, of course he has a boyfriend!" I choked, "It's been a month, that's not a long time, grow up Kurt!" I kicked the wall. "He's lied to you twice, You should have seen it." I spat towards myself. 

The door opened. "Kurt.." He whispered. "Kurt?" He came up behind me.

I frowned. He put his hands over my shoulders, I flinched away, hands flying up into the air. "Don't.. don't. Just stay away from me.."

His eyes reflected my sadness. "I was going to tell you."

"You're sick, you know that?" My voice snapped at him, trying to think of more words, more words to describe him, describe how he'd made me feel but my mind wasn't working with my mouth. "So sick. You.. you made me believe you-believe your lies!" I breathed. "You made me think this was a date, that you liked me!"

"I was going to sort it, I told you I was going to sort it. Kurt, I like you too."

"You invited me tonight, you said 7, I even arrived a little late!"

He was frowning. "Kurt I don't know what you're.." 

I laughed interupting his speech. "You can't win yourself back with words, Blaine. Stay away from me!"

He opened his mouth to reply but I'd turned on my heel. Puddles splashing up my leg at the hurry I had to get away from him. 

"Kurt!" He shouted after me, the sound echoed of the buildings either side of the road. "You've got this all wrong!" He'd caught up with me, grabbing my arm back so I turned to him.

I snapped from his grip, "I was wrong about you." My voice was a whisper, it caught in my throat.

He stared at me with those hugs eyes of a small puppy.

"I thought you were different, So in a way. Yeah I did have this all wrong."

His face crumbled, I had to look away before my own heart splintered it's already broken pieces.

I turned on my heel, stood there for a second. "Bye Bowties." I said.

Allowing myself to take the first step away from him, that was always the worse. So the saying went, I found that with each step the pain got worse. I scrunched my hands into fists, my phone vibrating in my pocket.

Rachel:

How's the night going Kurt? :)

I snapped my phone shut angrilly.

__

I did keep my phone on me for the remainder of the night but it was off. I knew I'd answer it if he called me, and believe his excuses. I hadn't turned the laptop on either. I was just sat there on my bed while staring at the spot on the wall.

I could see why Blaine liked Sebastian, why he chose him to be his boyfriend. Sebastian looked like he'd been spat out of heaven itself, minus the chipmunk face. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the images I had of them together. I had to blame my own stupidity, really. How I could think him of all people was single? 

"Kurt.. Can I come in?" dad asked, his hand loosely around the handle of my door. 

"No, dad. I'm having a moment."

"I brought cookies."

I turned my gaze to the door.

"Chocolate chip ones." He continued with a small smile.

"Oh, fine. Come in."

He opened the door completely and strided in, chucking the bag of cookies at me. 

"Why did you buy me cookies?" I asked.

"Well either, You liked the guy so much that you didn't eat a lot because you were worried about coming across as a pig or it went completely wrong and you needed a chocolate treat to cheer yourself up."

I looked at him, blinking. 

"I take it, it was option two?" He bit his lip.

I took a cookie and chomped into it. "I was just foolish." I shrugged.

"How?"

"I made the relationship up in my head." I laughed. "He didn't like me like that."

I knew he was still getting used to the idea of me being gay, so this conversation was hard for him. 

"You don't have to try you know, I'm okay." 

"Your mom would have wanted me too, besides you being sad is a good enough reason for me to try." He sat forward. "Your mom was better at this stuff, not me."

"Dad I'm gay,  not an alien." I laughed. "At least now you know why I own so many shoes!"

"You do have a lot of shoes." 

"Coordinate them with outfits." I nodded.

He smiled. "You remind me so much of your mom..."

We both turned our head so we could see the photo of her on the beside table.

"Do you think she's like, looking down now? I want to do her proud dad, But I'm unsure how."

"Hey, the only thing your mom would have wanted, was to you to get on with your life, have fun and just be yourself."

I smiled, feeling tears threatening. "I miss her."

"Me too.." He sighed quietly.