The Only Time I Feel Special
satinair
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The Only Time I Feel Special: Chapter 5


T - Words: 1,504 - Last Updated: Mar 31, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 8/8 - Created: Mar 31, 2012 - Updated: Mar 31, 2012
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HEART: He could do so much better.

 

Kurt walks into the Anderson's living room and takes a seat on the couch. He was surprised when Cooper had called him up and told him that they needed to have a talk. His back is rigid as he sits and looks around. He still hasn't gotten used to how overwhelmingly big and fancy the Anderson household is. Everything looks like it costs more than his own house. Of course, he would never tell Blaine such a thing. It would only make him feel bad. Kurt smiles a little to himself as he thinks about how hard Blaine tries to make him happy. After so many years of misery, it's nice to have someone who loves him unconditionally, the way Blaine does.

 

"Thinking about my brother?" Kurt's head snaps up and he sees Cooper leaning on the wall across from him with his arms crossed over his chest.

 

Kurt reddens. "Yes," he admits. He glances around. "Is he here?"

 

"No, I wanted to talk to you alone," Cooper says, fixing his icy blue eyes on him. Kurt squirms under his gaze.

 

"Okay," he says, feeling slightly uncomfortable and nervous. "What do you want to talk about?"

 

Cooper lets out a breath. "About your relationship with Blaine," he says. Kurt knits his eyebrows.

 

"What about my relationship with Blaine?"

 

"Do you think you'll be together for a long time?" Cooper asks.

 

Kurt cocks his head. "I certainly hope so."

 

Cooper sighs and looks skyward. "Did Blaine tell you about the time that he got beat up after the Sadie Hawkins dance?"

 

"Yes."

 

"And did he tell you what happened afterwards?"

 

"He transferred to Dalton," Kurt answers. Cooper looks back at him and a mixture of surprise and confusion flash in his eyes. "What?"

"That's all he told you?" Cooper asks, lifting an eyebrow. Kurt suddenly feels self-conscious and nods slowly. He keeps his eyes glued on the large mahogany bookcase to the left of Cooper, but his skin heats up as he feels Cooper's eyes on him.

 

Cooper nibbles on his bottom lip, unsure of what to say next. It's his role to be the protective older brother, but he doesn't know how. Cooper sighs.

 

"After he got beat up, I left home," Cooper began. Kurt doesn't move or comment, so he continues. "Well, not right afterwards. He was in the hospital for a few days and then here for a week." Cooper runs his tongue over his lips. "And then he went back to school. Mom and Dad went on and on about ‘not pressing charges' and ‘not causing a scandal'. I hated it. They were acting like what happened to Blaine was inevitable and that he just had to move on and act as though nothing happened. And at that stupid public school, they just continued to torment him. No one helped him, except for one boy named James. But I guess they had a fight or something because, after a few weeks, Blaine never mentioned him again." Cooper takes a deep breath.

 

"When I came home from college and heard that he was still at that school, I yelled at my parents about it. They told me there was nothing they could do and that I should ‘stop being difficult', so I left. I packed my bags and, by the next morning, I was gone. The next thing I knew, Blaine was at Dalton."

 

"You left him," Kurt says in a low voice.

 

"What?" Cooper asks. He momentarily forgot Kurt was even there.

 

Kurt turns his head to face Cooper, his eyes ablaze. "How could you just leave him?" he asks, his voice steadily increasing in volume. "Your brother got gay bashed and you left him alone to deal with your emotionally distant parents!"

 

"I didn't want to," Cooper says defensively. "But I couldn't stay here. I couldn't deal with all the bullshi-"

 

"I don't care what you could and couldn't deal with!" Kurt shouts, getting to his feet. His heart is racing and his ears are ringing. All he can think about is the fact that Cooper left Blaine when he needed him most. "Your brother had no one else. He needed you and you just left."

 

"You're leaving him, too!"

 

Kurt blinks, taken aback. "What?"

 

"You think he's fine? Blaine is messed up and it's all because of you. He's pretending that he's fine with you moving to New York, but he's actually terrified," Cooper retorts.

 

"H-he never said anything," Kurt mumbles. His gaze falls to the ground.

 

Cooper slides off the wall and stands up straight. He lets out a bitter laugh. "Of course he's not going to say anything. It's Blaine. He went to your prom because you asked him to. He switched schools because you wanted him to. He was about to give up the lead role in the school musical because you wanted it."

 

Kurt's eyes feels hot as he feels tears start to form. "What are you trying to say?"

 

"Blaine has a complex. He would do anything to make you happy."

 

"How is that a bad thing?" Kurt asks quietly, but he already knows the answer.

 

"It's a bad thing when it's making him miserable," Cooper bites back. "He can't talk about his feelings with anyone. He's becoming reclusive. The Blaine I know isn't like that. He wasn't like that until he fell in love with you."

 

The words hang in the air between them. Kurt swallows thickly and looks Cooper straight in the eyes.

 

"Fine. Then I won't make him miserable anymore," Kurt says before he turns to walk out the door. He just hopes that he makes it outside before Cooper sees him burst into tears.

 

--

 

Blaine moves close and wraps his arms around Kurt's waist. Kurt rests his own arms on top of Blaine's shoulders and laces his fingers together behind his neck. Blaine lets out a breath as they sway together to the music. Slowly at first, just enjoying the feeling of their bodies pressed together. Kurt rests his head on Blaine's shoulder and Blaine tenses at the warmth of Kurt's breath on the side of his neck. Kurt breathes softly with his eyes closed, reveling in the feeling of Blaine's body against his own.

 

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me," Blaine whispers. Kurt smiles and softly kisses Blaine's collarbone. Suddenly Blaine stops moving. Kurt nearly trips, but Blaine grasps him firmly. "Kurt?"

 

Kurt keeps his head down. "Hm?"

 

"What don't you like about me?" Blaine asks. Kurt lifts his head and looks him in the eyes.

 

"What?"

 

"What don't you like about me?" Blaine repeats. Kurt's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

 

"I love everything about you," Kurt says, but Blaine shakes his head.

 

"Kurt, I'm being serious. What don't you like about me?" The look on Blaine's face tells Kurt that he wants a serious answer. Kurt's eyes fall to the ground.

"Oh. Uh, well..." he starts.

 

"Tell me," Blaine says.

 

"Sometimes, I don't like it when you use so much hair gel," Kurt admits. That's an easy one. Cooper and Santana regularly tease him about his gel usage, so he should be used to that by now.

 

But Blaine stiffens.

 

"Oh," is all he says. Kurt looks back at him in alarm.

 

"No, no, I'm not saying I absolutely despise your hair. I just liked it more when we were at Dalton and you used less gel," Kurt explains.

 

"Huh."

 

Kurt's eyes meet Blaine's. "Are you mad?" he asks. He drags his bottom lip through his teeth as he stares at his boyfriend, trying to show Blaine that he feels bad about his comment, but Blaine just chuckles.

 

"No, I could never be mad at you," Blaine says. He gives Kurt a swift kiss on the nose and pulls him closer. "It's just that... I thought you liked guys that were more put together and, I don't know, I just thought my wild curls would have turned you off."

 

Kurt buries his head in Blaine's neck. "What would make you think that?"

 

"I have no idea," Blaine admits with a smile. Kurt plants a few kisses along Blaine's jaw.

 

"So you changed your hairstyle for me?" Kurt asks.

 

Kurt can practically hear Blaine's face light up and he chuckles under his breath. "I would change anything for you," Blaine says. "I love you."

 

Kurt sighs happily. "I love you, too."

 

--

 

Kurt stares up at his ceiling from his bed. He doesn't even have to check the clock on his dresser to know that it's the middle of the night. That conversation he had with Blaine months ago is playing over and over in his head. Cooper is right. It hurts Kurt to admit it, but it's true. Blaine has changed ever since he and Kurt had started dating. Kurt noticed it, but it was making him happy and he assumed that Blaine was happy too. Blaine always says he's happy when Kurt's happy.

 

Kurt slides off the bed and gets to his feet. He grabs his cell phone from the dresser next to his bed. He's going to fix this. He's going to fix Blaine. He glances at the time. 10:30 p.m. It isn't too late. Blaine is probably still awake.

 

"I'm not going to make him miserable anymore," Kurt says as he dials Blaine's number.

 


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