March 26, 2012, 5:31 p.m.
There's No Place Like Home: Keep Holding On
T - Words: 4,670 - Last Updated: Mar 26, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 9/? - Created: Mar 14, 2012 - Updated: Mar 26, 2012 827 0 0 0 0
As the pain flared while he was being lowered to the stretcher, Kurt felt the darkness descend. Kurt let out one final gasp and cry of pain before his world went back. His last thought was of Blaine.
"Blaine, I tried. Please don't leave. I need your hand so I don't get lost in the dark. Please find me. Oh god, Blaine. I'm sorry," Kurt thought as his the world slowly faded from view until his body was blissfully weightless and free from pain, floating on a sea of endless blackness.
Blaine sat breathless as they ventured through the cool, rainy night to the nearest hospital. The trip seemed to both continue endlessly and be over all too soon. And through it all, Kurt slept (if you could call it sleeping) fitfully, his cheeks flushed and his face continuing to contort into a grimace of pain every so often, as if Kurt couldn't get away from the reality of what was currently happening to his body, even in unconsciousness. Throughout their journey, Blaine tightly clutched Kurt's hand, intending to keep his promise that he wouldn't let go, that he would be there for Kurt, even if Kurt was too out of it to appreciate the gesture at the moment.
Before Blaine knew it, they'd arrived at Mount Carmel St. Ann's Hospital and Blaine was climbing out of the back of the ambulance. He immediately began walking aside the gurney carrying the impossibly still frame of his boyfriend, stubbornly continuing to hold onto his hand despite the awkwardness of coordinating his grasp on Kurt's hand and walking aside the moving gurney while trying not to run into any doctors or trip over his own two feet. Somehow he managed and he watched as one of the medics briefly conferred with a nurse before being lead to an open room. As the nurse pushed open the door for the medic, Blaine felt a slight shift in pressure against his hand and looked down to see Kurt slowly blinking his eyes open against the bright fluorescent lights overhead.
"Wha-... Blaine? Where? Wha- what happened?" Kurt mumbled sleepily but with a slight edge of panic to his voice.
"Hey... hey Kurt. You're okay," Blaine started in a rush to comfort his boyfriend, his free hand brushing a sweat-dampened lock of hair from Kurt's eye. "We just got to the hospital, okay? The doctors are going to help you now. Just try to relax. How are you feeling?"
"Mhmm... c-c-cold. So cold in h-here. And oh god...my-my side. Hurts. So much. Oh god Bl-Blaine. My dad is going to freak...and...and," Kurt stuttered out before breaking into a sob as his eyes widened and he remembered what had happened so far this evening. His puking. Blaine putting him in bed. The fever. The hazy, half remembered thoughts of panicking that Blaine was leaving him. The nurse saying that he needed to go to the hospital, that he might need surgery. And then... He couldn't remember much of anything after that.
Blaine leaned in and began to gently stroke Kurt's impossibly hot cheek in an attempt to calm him. "Shh, Kurt. Hey, it's going to be okay, sweetheart. I know it hurts, but that's why you are here. The doctors and nurses can help you, alright? And I'm going to call your dad in just a minute, and I'll make sure he doesn't freak out, okay? Everything is going to be okay, Kurt. Just try to relax and breathe."
The nurse that had led the way into the room took a step towards the bed and began to assess her sick patient, instantly taking in the sheen of fever on his brow, the gasping breaths that could only come from pain, the tight grip he had on his right side, and the even tighter grip that he had on a young man's hand. His friend? Boyfriend? She couldn't be sure. "Hi...Kurt, is it? My name's Bridget. I'm going to be your nurse tonight in the ER. Why don't we get you moved into the bed so that I can examine you, okay? Once we get you settled into the bed, I can get you some blankets and medicine for the pain to make you more comfortable.
Kurt looked uncertainly at Blaine who nodded and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. Kurt looked up at the nurse who looked about Mr. Schuester's age and nodded in agreement. "Okay," he said softly. He attempted to lift his upper body into a semi-seated position and groaned audibly, falling back against the pillow with a whimper as his hand crushed into Blaine's with surprising force.
"Whoa, whoa...easy," called Bridget as she placed a restraining hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Don't try to get up. Let us do the work for you. Your only job is to lay there and look cute, okay?" Bridget said sympathetically, but with a slight lilt as she said cute, making it clear that she was attempting to lighten the tense atmosphere.
Blaine watched quietly as Kurt's face slowly relaxed from a grimace into something resembling a weak smile. He took a deep, shuddering breath and nodded. "T-t-this is as cute as I can m-manage under the circumstances," Kurt managed, continuing to shiver slightly as he spoke.
Bridget and one of the medics chuckled in response before sliding into position, pushing his gurney as close to the ER bed as possible before pressing a button to release the side rail. They gathered the sheet underneath Kurt and prepared to slide his body to the waiting bed. One of the medics paused and looked down at Kurt.
"Okay...you got to let go of his hand for just a second so we can move you, okay?" he said bluntly. Kurt sighed audibly but allowed Blaine to slowly release his hand, feeling frustrated at the sudden loss of contact.
"Okay, let's move on 3. 1-2...3," the nurse directed as they smoothly lifted Kurt's body from the paramedic's gurney and swung it onto the ER bed.
Kurt let out a punctured wheeze as his body was jolted slightly while being dropped onto the bed. Kurt's eyes closed unconsciously as he felt a sharp stab of pain in his side that perfectly coincided with the throb of his pulse which he could hear as if through a tunnel as his body began to feel liquid and the bed beneath him disappeared into a haze. He was aware of hands on him again and people talking around him, but their voices echoed as if coming from a great distance away and his body wouldn't budge despite his half-hearted attempts to respond. It just hurt. So. Much. And everything was easier, less scary, less real, through the haziness surrounding him.
A hand on top of his, squeezing. "Kurt? Hey baby, can you hear me? Come on, Kurt. Open your eyes." Kurt tried, but it was just too hard. He concentrated instead on squeezing the hand back in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, not sure if the movements in his head actually managed to sync up with his body.
Another hand, this time against his forehead. Cold. Soft. "Whew, he's burning up. What was his last temp? That high? Okay, I think we're going to need the cooling blanket. I'm just going to check his vitals and then grab the doctor for a quick exam." Kurt was aware of movement, of people scuttling around the room before various implements were wrapped around him and inserted into various parts of him and it was all so confusing that it was starting to make Kurt dizzy. He heard someone call out a string of numbers in a serious voice. He heard the door open as another person entered. Or was the person leaving? Kurt couldn't seem to keep track. It was all rather disconcerting. Scary, even. But for some reason. Kurt wasn't panicking. His body felt light, buoyant. But even though he was floating, there was something keeping him tethered just enough that he wouldn't completely fly away. That thing was the sensation of a cool hand in his, squeezing just enough so that Kurt could feel it while a gentle thumb brushed over his knuckles in small, soothing motions. Kurt caught a whiff of deodorant, musk, and something that he could only describe as bottled sunshine and suddenly remembered who the hand belonged to. Blaine. Blaine was here. And just like that, Kurt didn't want to be floating anymore. He wanted to be still, to open his eyes and see Blaine, to reach his hand up to stroke Blaine's irresistibly adorable curls and know that his body would respond as he intended. He focused all his energies on opening his eyes and was rewarded when they blinked open, revealing the blurry figure of Blaine leaning over him worriedly.
"Kurt? Hey, you're back," Blaine exclaimed with a flood of relief. "I think you...you passed out on us again."
Kurt managed a weak nod in response. "Sorry...it - it just h-hurts. A lot. Worse when I m-move."
"I know it does, honey. That's okay. I'm just glad to see your eyes open again. You scared me," Blaine let out in a rush. "How you doing? Are you cold? You're shaking," He reached his free hand out and began to rub it up and down Kurt's upper arm in a misguided attempt to warm him up, judging from the amount of heat Kurt's body was putting out. "The nurse said you're still running a pretty high fever. She went to get the doctor, so they should both be back in just a second."
"Y-y-yeah, I'm cold. And h-hot. Wha-," Kurt said in surprise as he looked down at his body for the first time, noticing that his black tank top had been exchanged for a hospital gown and that the arm that Blaine wasn't currently stroking was attached to an impressive array of monitors. Before he could respond or even process it really, the door swung open and Bridget strode through the door, followed by an older gentleman in a white coat who was obviously the doctor.
The doctor strode to the edge of the patient's bed. "Hi Kurt, I'm Doctor Baron. Can you tell me a little bit about why you are here? I'm going to do a quick exam while we talk, okay?" he asked as his hands settled the ear pieces of his well-worn stethoscope into his ears and placed the other end on his patient's chest, listening carefully. He swiftly removed the ear buds and took a look at the patient's vital signs on the monitor, frowning slightly at the numbers.
Kurt looked at the doctor with a slightly fearful look, but began to tentatively speak with Blaine's encouragement. "Y-yeah, I guess it s-st-started this morning. My stomach was hurting and I t-threw up and it's just been getting worse. The p-pain is awful and I'm d-d-dizzy and I think I passed out a few times b-because of the pain." Blaine nodded his silent agreement to Kurt's statement.
"Okay," the doctor said in what Kurt assumed was supposed to be a reassuring manner. "Can you show me exactly where the pain is?" he asked, while simultaneously lifting the hem of Kurt's hospital gown.
"Yeah, it h-hurts here," Kurt said while touching a spot on his lower right side, his body flinching involuntarily from the slight pressure from his hand.
The doctor nodded and began to palpitate Kurt's abdomen without warning, and then all Kurt could feel was pain. White hot, searing pain that made his whole body clench and his forehead break into a cold sweat at the sudden shock. He was vaguely aware of a strangled sounding cry that broke into a panting moan, but it took him several seconds to realize that the sound was coming from him.
Blaine's hands were on him in seconds. He felt the cool rush as Blaine stroked his hair briefly before reaching down to wipe away a tear that Kurt wasn't aware had come from him. Through it all, he could feel Blaine's warm breath against his cheek as he whispered in Kurt's ear. "Breathe honey. Just breathe, Kurt. I know...I know it hurts. Just hang on, okay? You're doing great." Blaine's voice broke a little as he murmured the same reassurances over and over.
"Okay, okay...all done. Sorry about that," the doctor spoke in a voice that made it clear to Kurt that he wasn't really sorry for causing Kurt such immense pain. "It looks like a pretty clear case of appendicitis to me. I'm going to order a CT scan to confirm and have the nurse draw some blood as well to check your white blood count for signs of infection. In the meantime, I'll order some medicine for pain and to bring your fever down a bit more, okay? I'll be back to check on you once the scans are in." The doctor rapidly typed a few notes into a small laptop sitting on the counter at the far end of the room, looking up briefly to confer with the nurse. "Bridget, any drug allergies or interactions?"
"No interactions, just an allergy to amoxicillin by patient report. He's had 5 mg of Morphine in route," Bridget answered, only once glancing down to confirm what she was saying with the hastily scribbled notes that she'd jotted down when the paramedics had handed the patient off.
"Fine. Let's give him 10 mg more of Morphine and bolus another liter of saline, but keep an eye on his sats and BP and let me know if they start to drop. I'm going to go ahead and put in the request for a surgical consult. Let me know when he gets back from CT," Doctor Baron barked out before hastily exiting the room, without so much as stopping to explain to Blaine or Kurt exactly what was going on.
Bridget made an apologetic face and shook her head slightly after watching the doctor beat a hasty retreat from the room. "Sorry guys, we're really busy tonight. Why don't I...let me get Kurt his pain medicine and then I can go over everything with you two, okay?" she continued sheepishly. She quickly opened up a locked cabinet a retrieved a vial, drawing the necessary medication into a syringe before injecting it into one of Kurt's many IV ports. Next she hung another clear bag of fluid and attached it to the tubing, allowing it to also run into Kurt's arm. Finally, she inserted another syringe in order to withdraw a small amount of blood which she then injected into a purple-topped laboratory tube.
Blaine was relieved to feel the pressure to his hand lessen within minutes of the medication being injected and looked up to see that some of the tension had left Kurt's face as well. Kurt opened his eyes briefly and managed what Blaine assumed was intended to be a reassuring smile which in reality looked weak and a bit lopsided from a combination of pain, fatigue, and the growing haziness induced by the morphine Kurt had just been given.
"Okay, right," the nurse said as she came to a stop in front of Kurt's bed and extended her hand to the boy sitting vigil next to her patient. "We haven't been formally introduced. What's your name?" she asked.
"Blaine...I'm Blaine," the boy said, reaching up his free hand to shake hers in response.
"I'm guessing you're the...boyfriend?" Bridget asked, taking a stab in the dark.
Blaine smiled warmly, relieved that the nurse seemed so understanding and there was no need for him to articulate his relationship with Kurt to a complete stranger. "Yeah...that's me."
"Okay, great. So Kurt, Blaine, here's what's going on. We're pretty sure that you've got appendicitis, Kurt, which means your appendix is inflamed and infected. I'm going to draw some blood to check to see if you show signs of infection and then we're going to get a CT scan to allow the doctor to visualize the appendix. If it looks bad, we'll probably try to get you into surgery tonight. It's usually a pretty simple procedure. Often the surgeon will do it laproscopically which means he makes a few tiny, keyhole incisions instead of one large incision which cuts down on the pain and recovery time. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. First we need to make sure of the diagnosis. In the meantime, I'm going to be giving you fluids and antibiotics to help with the infection and medications for pain and nausea to keep you comfortable." She looked at her patient, seeing that he was wide-eyed.
"Sorry, I know that's a lot to take in at once. Do you have any questions for me?" she asked.
Kurt looked at Blaine uncertainly before responding. "I don't...I don't think so," he spoke tentatively, his voice slightly slurred as a result of the dose of morphine that he had just received. Blaine shook his head as well, agreeing that he also had no questions at the moment, despite the fact that his head was spinning from the nurse's spiel.
"Alright then. I'm going to bring this blood to the lab and get things set up for the CT scan. In the meantime, Blaine, here's the call button. If you need anything – if Kurt seems to be in a lot more pain or having trouble breathing or anything like that – just push this button and I'll be right in to check on you, okay?"
"Okay, will do," Blaine replied, his voice slightly shaky. He looked up as Bridget made her way towards the door. "And Bridget? Thanks for taking the time to explain what's going on. I...we appreciate it."
Bridget broke into a smile at the look of gratitude from her patient and his boyfriend. It was such a nice change of pace to be taking care of these polite teenagers instead of her usual mix of drunken homeless men who needed a place to sleep it off and hypochondriac drug seekers expecting Demerol to cope with the pain of ingrown toenail. "Of course...you just press that button if you need anything, okay dear? I'll see you both in a few minutes."
As the door swung closed behind the nurse, Blaine turned his full attentions back to his sick boyfriend. "Hey Kurt, how you feeling? Anything I can get you, sweetheart?" he asked gently while stroking Kurt's hair.
"Mhhm, a little better," Kurt mumbled sleepily. "Just c-c-cold. Blanket?" he requested.
Blaine nodded before reaching down for the extra blanket folded at the edge of bed at Kurt's feet which Bridget had thoughtfully left behind after determining that Kurt's fever had gone down enough to keep him from the horrors of the cooling blanket that Blaine had witnessed firsthand in the ambulance. He gently unfurled the blanket and wrapped it around Kurt's shivering frame, pulling the edge of the blanket up and tucking it under Kurt's chin. He rubbed his hands up and down Kurt's upper body gently to generate some extra heat before resuming his hold on Kurt's hand. "There you go. Better?"
Kurt nodded. "Much better. The medicine is helping. My side doesn't hurt so bad. Getting k-kinda sleepy, actually."
Blaine smiled. "Good, that's good, honey. You should try to get some rest if you can. I should probably go ahead and call your dad."
Kurt's eyes widened a bit at the mention of his dad. He knew his dad wasn't going to take the news very well and desperately wanted to protect him from any stress that could possibly trigger his heart condition after witnessing his dad landing in the hospital with an arrhythmia for the second time after he learned of Karofsky's death threats against Kurt.
Blaine immediately sensed Kurt's fear and began to reassure him. "Kurt, we've got to tell him what's going on. He's your dad. But I can wait to give him all the gory details until he gets here and can see for himself that you're okay...deal? You can even talk to him yourself if you want to reassure him," Blaine offered.
Kurt shook his head, wincing slightly as a deep breath led to a spasm of pain in his side. "No, no Blaine. You call him. I'm too...I'm exhausted. Can barely keep...mm...eyes 'pen. Gonna sleep," Kurt responded, his words becoming more slurred and distorted with each passing second as his eyelids slowly closed, as if too heavy to stay open on their own.
Blaine gave Kurt a wobbly smile in return, reaching down to gently kiss Kurt's warm forehead, before sitting back up and taking a shuddering breath in an attempt to calm himself down before calling Kurt's dad. He sat motionless for several seconds and simply watched Kurt sleep, his chest rising and falling in a reassuring fashion. Finally, Blaine pulled his cell phone out of of his pocket and scrolled through his list of numbers, deciding to call Kurt's home phone since it was the only number he had programmed into his phone, wincing slightly as he realized that it was nearly 11 PM and Kurt's dad would almost certainly be in bed since he opened his body shop at the ungodly hour of 6 AM each morning.
Blaine took another deep breath and hit send, listening as the phone rang once, twice, three times.
"H-h-hello?" Burt answered in a gruff, sleepy voice.
"Mr. Hummel?" Blaine answered tentatively. "Hey, it's Blaine. I'm sorry to call so late, but..." his voice trailed off as he gathered his thoughts and tried to think of how best to finish the sentence.
"Blaine? Is everything okay? Did something happen to Kurt?" Burt asked, his voice clearer now, his pitch going up slightly in concern at the late night phone call.
"Umm, Kurt's sick," Blaine paused momentarily as he heard Burt draw in a sharp breath, but stay silent, awaiting for further details. "We just got to the hospital. He wasn't feeling well earlier and then he started running a high fever and the infirmary nurse at Dalton decided he needed to go to the hospital, and they're saying that he probably has appendicitis, and might need surgery. I'm...I'm really sorry I didn't call sooner, but it all happened kind of fast."
"That's okay, Blaine." Blaine heard rustling on the other side of the phone and a hushed voice that he assumed belonged to Carol. "Blaine, hang on one second, okay?" Burt said suddenly into the phone. In the background, Blaine heard more muttering as Kurt's dad quickly explained the situation to Carol.
"Sorry, son. I'm back. Okay, so where are you two right now?" Burt asked.
"We're at Mount Carmel St. Ann's Hospital. It's right off Main Street, just over the river. Do you know where I'm talking about?" Blaine asked, remembering that Kurt's dad had only made a few trips to Dalton so far.
"Yeah...yes. I remember seeing it when I drove Kurt back to Dalton after Thanksgiving break. Okay, we'll we're...we're on our way now, but..." Burt let out a sigh. "Crap, it's probably going to take us at least an hour and a half to get there. Can you...are you planning to stay there for awhile?" Burt asked, more gently this time.
"Huh? Oh yeah, of course. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I'll...I can keep an eye on him until you get here," Blaine answered honestly.
"I'd...Carol and I would both really appreciate that Blaine. I'm glad you were there tonight," Burt spoke, his voice softer still with only the slightest waver indicating his concern and gratitude. Blaine heard more muffled talking and then Burt's voice was back, sounding slightly stronger this time. "How's he doing right now? Could I maybe talk to him for a second. He...he really doesn't like the hospital, ever since his mother was sick, so I just want to check in on him."
"Umm.." Blaine turned to look at Kurt who was still sleeping away obliviously. "He's asleep at the moment. The nurse just gave him some pain medication and I think it...knocked him out. "I could...I could try to wake him up if you want?" Blaine tried uncertainly, not sure if Kurt was currently up to the task.
"No...no, no need for that," Burt replied almost immediately, his voice going gruff once more. "He...I'm sure he needs to rest. Just let him know that we're on the way and that...that we love him, if you don't mind."
"Of course, Mr. Hummel. I'll let him know." Blaine heard more shuffling in the background and the start of a car starting and then suddenly, Burt was back.
"Blaine? We're just pulling out of the driveway now. I'm going to put Carol on the phone for a sec, okay?"
Before Blaine could respond, Carol's calm voice came over the phone. "Blaine? Hey honey, thank you so much for everything you've done for Kurt so far. Are you hanging in there okay?" she asked gently, sounding so maternal, it almost made Blaine cry in relief. He wasn't alone anymore. He had help. Kurt was no longer in pain and was going to be okay. At least that is what Blaine wanted to believe with all his being.
"I'm...yeah, I'm doing okay, I guess. Just wish there was more I could do to help Kurt," Blaine answered honestly.
"Of course," Carol answered sympathetically. "Listen, do you think there is a doctor or someone I could talk to get an update on Kurt? Burt is getting a little worked up and I think it would help if he could get the details.
"Umm...the nurse just stepped out. She said something about Kurt needing a scan to make sure it was appendicitis and that then they'd do a surgical consult. I could try to go find her if..."
"No, no, that's okay. It sounds like they still need to the CT Scan to confirm the diagnosis," Carol said calmly and knowledgeably, causing it to suddenly occur to Blaine that Carol was a nurse and probably understood what was going on much better than he currently did. "Listen honey, do you think you could have the doctor or nurse call us on Burt's cell phone after they get the test results back? Do you have that number?"
"Umm, no...let me just grab something to write with," Blaine answered, briefly releasing is grasp on Kurt's hand to grab a pen and a post-it note off the counter of Kurt's hospital room.
"Okay, I'm ready," Blaine responded, ready to jot down the phone number.
"Great, it's 419-862-0912. And Blaine? Please call if anything changes, okay? We should be there in under two hours. And thanks again for taking such good care of him so far. We really appreciate it. We'll see you and Kurt soon, okay?" Carol finished in a rush.
"Sure, of course. We'll see you soon. Let me know if there is anything else I can do," Blaine responded, waiting until he heard the tell-tale dial tone that signaled to him that it was time to hang up. He unceremoniously dropped his cell phone in his pocket and turned his attentions back to Kurt who was continuing to sleep, but somewhat more uneasily than he had been mere minutes before.
Blaine noticed the light sheen of sweat that had dampened Kurt's forehead and watched as his body twitched slightly. Occasionally Kurt would mumble something in his sleep and turn his head to the side. If Blaine wasn't so worried about his boyfriend, he would have said that watching Kurt sleep fitfully was adorable. Blaine slid his hand back into Kurt's and was rewarded with a slight mumble and turn on the head. Blaine unconsciously brought his free hand to Kurt's temple and brushed back the locks of hair that were plastered to Kurt's sweat-dampened skin.
He continued to watch his boyfriend in silent reverie for several minutes, feeling hypnotized by the gentle rise and fall of Kurt's chest. Blaine was startled from his private thoughts by the sound of Kurt suddenly gasping as his body jerked into the fetal position. Kurt's eyes fluttered open and he let out a strangled cry as he gripped his left side tightly and tears began to pour down his cheeks unabated. Before Blaine could respond to this shock, several alarms on Kurt's monitors starting beeping in near unison, causing Blaine's heart to feel as if it dropped from his chest to the floor.