Feb. 17, 2013, 6:05 p.m.
Every Breath You Take: Something to Rely On
T - Words: 3,308 - Last Updated: Feb 17, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 2/2 - Created: Feb 12, 2013 - Updated: Feb 17, 2013 1,190 0 0 0 0
Kurt startled awake, his pillow suddenly vibrating. Still half asleep, he slid his hand under the pillow, clumsily groping his buzzing phone. He forced his eyes open, blinking as he took in the call screen.Why was Blaine calling him at 2 AM?
"Blaine?" Kurt answered, his voice low, with remnants of sleep and tendrils of worry. "Is everything okay?"
"It's uh...Tina, actually," Tina started haltingly, sounding anxious and slightly sheepish.
Before Tina could continue, Kurt interrupted, concern shifting into panic. "Tina? Why are you calling from Blaine's phone? Has something happened? Is he okay?"
"I – I'm not sure... That's why I'm calling. He's sick and he's kinda breathing...funny," Tina explained hurriedly, obviously unsure.
That was enough to shock Kurt fully awake. He sat, fumbling until he found the switch on the side of his bedside lamp, casting his bedroom in a dim light.
"Let me talk to him," Kurt commanded.
"He's asleep, and I can't..." Tina began.
"Then wake him up," Kurt interjected forcefully.
"Itried.But he has a bad cold and he took some NyQuil and now he won't wake up..." Tina whined, sounding increasingly panicked herself.
"God, he should never take NyQuil. Last time he did, he was practically comatose for almost sixteen hours," Kurt muttered, more to himself than to Tina. Kurt shook his head, trying to clear his mind and focus on the task at hand before he remembered Tina's comment. "What do you mean by breathing funny? Is he wheezing?"
"I – I'm not sure...What does wheezing sound like?" Tina asked.
"Just put the phone up to his mouth," Kurt snapped, already losing his patience with Tina.
"Okay," Tina answered, sounding unsteady and near tears. For a moment, all Kurt could hear was Tina fumbling with the phone. But finally, the movement stilled and Kurt could hear Blaine's shallow breathing, each breath capped with a distinctive whistling sound - clearly, Blaine was having an asthma attack. A bad one if Kurt's diagnosis via cell phone could be trusted.
"Shit," Kurt swore under his breath. "Tina," Kurt called through the phone. When Tina didn't answer immediately, Kurt shouted her name a second time, pricklingwith anxiety now that he knew they were racing the clock.
"Kurt?" Tina finally answered. "Do you know what's wrong with him?"
"He's having an asthma attack," Kurt replied flatly. "You've got to wake him up."
"Oh my god," Tina breathed. "I didn't even know he had asthma..."
"Tina!" Kurt shouted. "He can't breathe. Wake him up.Now."
"Oh shit, of course," Tina yelped. "Blaine?" Tina called. "Hey honey, wake up, okay?"
Blaine's only reply was a muffled groan that quickly lapsed into a hoarse, barking cough that made Kurt's stomach clench with worry. Kurt listened as Tina hesitantly tried to coax Blaine into wakefulness, still much too gentle for the urgency of the situation.
"Oh for heaven's sake!" Kurt shouted with obvious frustration after a minute. "Tina, just put the phone on speaker and put it next to Blaine's ear."
"Okay, okay," Tina quickly complied, grateful to have someone take control., "You're on speaker now, Kurt," she said after a moment.
Kurt wasted no time, focused on having Blaine wake up and find his inhaler as soon as possible. "Blaine," he called loudly, hearing only a sleepy moan in reply. "Blaine!" he yelled, using his sharpyou are going to do exactly as I sayvoice. "Wake up! You've got to wake up!," he continued, practically shouting.
Blaine groaned, his eyes finally sliding open at the sound of an oddly familiar voice. "Kurt?" he called shakily, obviously confused when his eyes found only Tina. Before he could get a question out, he was hacking violently, the hoarse cough ending a long high pitched wheeze that seemed to go on and on. His eyes watered with the force of it and even through the haze, it slowly dawned on Blaine that he was having an asthma attack.
"Blaine?" Kurt called back, his voice thick with relief - relief that was quickly tempered by the sound of Blaine breaking into another coughing jag, the wheeze getting more prolonged and higher pitched as Kurt listened.
"Jesus, Blaine," Kurt winced as he climbed out of bed and pulled on his robe, hoping the movement would distract him from his growing anxiety. As soon as Blaine's coughing slowed, Kurt spoke again, desperate to shift Blaine and Tina into action.
"Blaine, honey, you're having an asthma attack. You need to sit up, okay? Where's your inhaler?" Kurt asked gently.
"Kurt?" Blaine whimpered, sounding scared. "Dizzy..." he continued.
"It's okay, Blaine," Kurt rushed to reassure. "Tina and I are going to help you." Kurt had never felt more helpless in his life, listening to Blaine call for him as he struggled to breathe. "Tina!" he all but yelled, having no energy to suppress his irritation at her apparent ineptitude. "You need to help him sit up."
Kurt listened while Tina slowly followed his directions. "Come on, Blaine. There you go," Tina soothed as she pulled Blaine to a sitting position. Kurt heard Tina mutter a breathless "Shit!" as Blaine started coughing again, his body wracking as he struggled to keep himself upright. "I got you, I got you," Tina soothed, holding Blaine up until the coughing fit ended, leaving Blaine gasping for air.
"Blaine, where's your inhaler?" Kurt tried again, wondering if Blaine could even hear him over the sound of his increasingly labored breathing. "Just point if you can't talk, honey."
"Book – bag," Blaine managed, gasping at the effort the single word took.
"Good, baby, that's good," Kurt encouraged. "Tina's going to get it for you. Just hang on for a few more seconds and then it should get easier to breathe, okay?"
"Got it!" Tina exclaimed seconds later, dropping back onto the bed where Blaine was sitting propped up against the headboard. His nostrils flared and the muscles in his neck stood out in stark relief as he struggled to draw even the smallest bit of oxygen. "What do I do?" she asked.
"Shake it up well and take off the cap on the end. Then hand it to Blaine," Kurt directed,He was suddenly absurdly grateful for the lesson Carole had given him on asthma right after he'd first found out about Blaine. He remembered just how scared he'd felt back then, seeing Blaine slumped in the passenger seat of Kurt's SUV, struggling to breathe after a particularly vigorous Warblers rehearsal led to an asthma attack so severe, Blaine ended up spending four hours under observation in the ER. But that terror was nothing compared to how Kurt felt now, when he knew just what to do but couldn't tangibly help, pushed back from Blaine's side by the distance.
"Here, Blaine," Kurt heard Tina say, passing the inhaler to Blaine.
"You need to try to breathe as deep as you can, okay Blaine?" Kurt couldn't help reminding Blaine, still not sure how present he was between the NyQuil and lack of oxygen. He heard a quiet hum of acknowledgment from Blaine and then a wheezy inhale almost immediately followed by a coughing fit.
"Did it work?" Tina asked, sounding slightly hysterical.
"He needs to do it again in about a minute," Kurt said,sounding much calmer than he felt. "Honey, tryto hold it in a little longer this time if you can, okay? It'll help it work better." There was no reply this time, not even a small sound of acknowledgment, so Kurt was forced to sit it mute terror, struggling to hear even the slightest improvement in Blaine's breathing.
In the minute Kurt had to wait, a thousand questions flew through his mind.Should he call an ambulance for Blaine? Where were Blaine's parents? And why the hell was Tina at Blaine's house at 2 AM on a school night?
Roughly sixty seconds later, Kurt heard Blaine use his inhaler again, still barely holding out for a second or two before he broke into another coughing fit. Kurt knew that Blaine needed to breathe in deeply enough for the medication to make it into his lungs. Only then could it work. And it didn't sound like Blaine was able to take anything remotely resembling a deep breath.
"Honey, is it getting any easier to breathe?" Kurt asked, worried, but trying to stay calm for Blaine.
"Don't – know," Blaine answered slowly. "I don't – no, it's not," he continued, sounding so, so tired. "Kurt,"he whimpered.
Kurt bit his lip, trying not to lose it. "It's okay, baby. You're gonna be fine." He was quiet for a moment, thinking. "Where are your parents, Blaine? You may need to go to the hospital."
"No - can't," Blaine cried, almost immediately starting to cough again, the wheeze so high-pitched Kurt could barely hear it.
"Baby, don't cry,please," Kurt pled. "It's going to make it worse."
"Shh, Blaine, calm down," Tina encouraged as well. "His parents are out of town, Kurt. We're the only ones here."
"Fuck," Kurt thought, dropping his head to his hands. They were quickly running out of options and the ones they had left almost universally sucked. He strongly considered calling his dad to see if Carole was currently working at the hospital when he remembered another piece of Carole's asthma crash course.
"Blaine, where's your nebulizer?" Kurt asked.
"Oh," Blaine gasped, making it clear that the thought hadn't occurred to him until now either. "Down – stairs," he managed. "Med..."
"Medicine cabinet?" Kurt interjected, wanting Blaine to save his breath. "Okay, Tina, you need to go get it right now. It's a big gray machine looking thing with tubing attached. There should be some boxes with vials in it. That's the medicine that you put in it. Make sure you grab them too."
"I – okay, I'm be right back, Blaine," Tina soothed.
"Blaine?" Kurt called. "You doing okay?"
"Scared..." Blaine mewled, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.
"I know, sweetheart. I know you are. But Tina's going to be right back, okay?" Kurt encouraged.
"I – I – don't want – Tina," Blaine cried quietly, between gasps. "I – want –you."
Kurt sank back onto his bed, reeling from the desperation in Blaine's words. "Oh baby, I wish I were there too," he choked out, his heart breaking as he made out the distinct sound of Blaine sobbing.
"Blaine," he begged, "please don't cry, okay?" He listened as Blaine choked on a sob, starting to cough and wheeze again. "Blaine, you've got to stop, okay? I'm right here. I'm not going to let anything happen. Just focus on my voice."
"Distract – me?" Blaine asked at last, his voice tearful.
"Of course, honey. Hey, can you grab the phone?"
"Mhmm," Blaine mumbled, his shaking fingers struggling with the iPhone. "Can you hit the button for Face Time? I want to see you," Kurt asked.
There was the sound of morefumblingand a muffled squeak and then Blaine's face appeared on Kurt's phone. He looked awful, his cheeks tear stained, his eyes puffy and blood shot. Even in the dim light, Kurt could see just enough of Blaine's body to notice just how quickly his chest with heaving, his nostrils flaring as he tried to force air into his lungs.
"There we go," Kurt continued to soothe, somewhat on autopilot as he tried to keep his face neutral, wanting to reassure Blaine. "Tina'll be back any minute, okay?"
"Kurt," Blaine whined, his lip trembling as he threatened to fall apart again.
"No, no, hey, c'mon. Shh, look at me, baby," Kurt directed. "We've just gotta keep your mind off things for another minute or two."
He looked at Blaine's face, watching him struggle to piece himself together, nodding at Kurt as if he were the only thing keeping him anchored.
"Want me to tell you a story?" Kurt asked, smiling encouragingly as Blaine nodded back at him.
"So apparently NYADA has a fight club too, just like Dalton," Kurt began. Blaine gave him a wide-eyed look, silently urging him to continue.
"Not with actual fighting of course, because the last thing a bunch of actors would want is a punch to mess up their faces," Kurt continued, giggling a little as Blaine mouthedreallyand snorted with laughter. But of course the snort quickly turned into another barking cough. And while it soundedawful, the wheeze was less high pitched, which Kurt knew was a sign that the inhaler had helped, at least a little.
"Shh honey, just try to breathe..." After a moment, the cough slowed and Blaine looked at Kurt with watery eyes, leaning heavily into the headboard, clearly exhausted.
"Want me to keep going?" Kurt asked. Blaine nodded and so Kurt continued, filling him in on his victory over Rachel Berry.
"It's called Midnight Madness and Rachel was being a diva and driving me nuts. So I decided the only way to shut her up was to challenge her to a duel, which in our world basically amounts to a singing competition. It was last night, and the song they picked was 'Bring Him Home' from Les Mis. And I was excited but secretly terrified because all these snobby NYADA sycophants were there cooing over Rachel and how great she was going to be. But I must have done something right, because I won. I beat Rachel 'I think I'm the second coming of Barbara Streisand' Berry, Blaine. Can you believe it?"
"Of course – I can," Blaine replied, his face beaming with pride through his exhaustion and misery.
"Shh, you're not supposed to be talking," Kurt scolded gently. "But thanks."
Blaine suddenly turned away from the phone, looking towards the door. Kurt listened as Tina burst through the door, muttering apologies about taking so long. After a moment, she joined Blaine on the bed. Kurt was relieved to see she'd remembered the albuterol solution. Kurt walked Tina through the steps of putting all the pieces together, Blaine helping to put the medication in the chamber.
"Okay honey, looks like you're all set," Kurt spoke.
"Don't go," Blaine interrupted almost before Kurt finished speaking, his eyes going wild with panic..
"What? Who said anything about going? I was just going to tell you that you could put the phone down while you use your nebulizer. I'm going to stay on the line though," Kurt reassured.
"And I'm right here, too," Tina said, , rubbing Blaine's back. And Kurt wasn't sure if he was making things up, but he could swear that Blaine looked a bit annoyed, ducking under Tina's touch to reach down and flip the 'on' switch on the nebulizer. For a moment, all Kurt could hear that the loud mechanical sound of the machine.
Blaine picked up the mouthpiece, continuing to stubbornly clutch his phone in one hand as he started his breathing treatment. His eyes never left Kurt's face, betraying his fear that that Kurt would disappear at any moment.
Kurt watched Blaine inhale the medication, his chest starting to rise and fall at a somewhat normal rate as the medicine took effect. Kurt smiled at Blaine, feeling close to tears with relief. He looked down at his phone, minimizing Blaine's picture for a second to type out a quick text.
Kurt (2:38 AM):You look like you're starting to feel a little better?
Kurt giggled as he watched Blaine jump a mile, the vibration of the incoming text message startling him from where he'd started to slump into the pillows. His eyes lit up as he realized it was a text message from Kurt, his fingers flying as he typed a quick reply.
Blaine (2:38 AM):So much better. I can actually kinda almost breathe again.
Kurt (2:39 AM):Hallelujah! I was about to send Burt over there to drag you to the hospital.
Blaine (2:40 AM):Thankfully not necessary.
Kurt (2:42 AM):Okay, so I've just got to ask – why's Tina there on a school night?
Blaine (2:44 AM):I don't know. She came over 'cause I was helping her with her assignment for Glee club. But I was so tired and must have fallen asleep. Next thing I knew you were waking me up and she was still there.
Kurt (2:44 AM):You didn't ask her to stay?
Blaine (2:45 AM):No, she was just there.And I know she's trying to help, but she's kinda...
Kurt (2:45 AM):All over you?
Blaine (2:46 AM):Okay, so I'm not crazy.
Kurt (2:48 AM):No, definitely not. She may be, if she thinks she's got a chance...
Blaine (2:49 AM):Yeah, I kinda want to ask her to leave...
Kurt (2:50 AM):I don't blame you, honey, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone right now. I'll feel better if someone is keeping an eye on you until you can get to the doctor in the morning.
Blaine (2:51 AM):Doctor? Who said anything about a doctor?
Kurt (2:52 AM):DON'T EVEN TRY IT MISTER.
Blaine (2:52 AM):Kurt...don't wanna :(
Kurt (2:53 AM):You're going. End of story.
Blaine (2:53 AM):Ugh, I hate it when you're right.
Kurt (2:53 AM):You mean all the time?
Kurt (2:53 AM):Speaking of which, your nebulizer sounds like it's done.
Blaine read the last text from Kurt, his eyes widening in surprise at how quickly the past twenty minutes had flown by. He picked up the phone, clicking a button to return to Face Time.
"Hey," he said, his voice much clearer and stronger than it had been earlier.
"Oh, you sound a lot better. And you can breathe? Really?" Kurt prompted.
"Yeah, really," Blaine answered, grinning sleepily. Before Kurt could say anything else, Blaine let out an involuntary yawn barely able to keep his eyes open.,.
"Alright honey, why don't you lay down? You've got to be exhausted." Kurt cooed. "Can I talk to Tina for a minute?"
"'Kay, but don't hang up? Will you stay on the phone until I fall asleep?" Blaine mumbled, his words slurring a bit as fatigue overtook him.
"Promise," Kurt replied. A second later, Kurt heard Tina grab the phone. "Hey, Kurt," she answered, sounding a little apprehensive.
"Listen, Tina, I just want to make sure you're going to keep an eye on him for the rest of the night. He can sleep, but you need to check on him every hour or so and make sure his breathing sounds okay. He can use his inhaler again if he needs it, but if he starts sounding bad at all, you've got to call me, because he'll probably need to go to the hospital. But hopefully he'll be okay until his doctor's office opens in the morning," Kurt directed.
"Okay yeah, I'm going to stay," Tina answered immediately. "That's why I was here. I didn't want him to be alone while he was sick." Kurt forced himself not to roll his eyes, even as he was more than a little suspicious that Tina was there for an entirely different reason.
"Okay," Kurt replied evenly. "Can you pass me back to Blaine?"
Kurt smiled as Blaine took the phone and he could see him wrapped up in his duvet, looking cozy and close to comatose
"You look sleepy, baby," Kurt spoke, his voice low. "Close your eyes, okay?"
"I'm so tired, but the medicine is making me all jittery," Blaine moaned, his eyes closing.
"You'll fall asleep in a minute. Just try to think about something relaxing."
"Will you sing to me?" Blaine whispered, sounding so hopeful that it made Kurt ache.
"Only if you try to sleep, sweetheart. You need to rest so you can get better," Kurt answered. "But take me off speaker first?"
Blaine groaned, forcing his eyes open to hit the button on his phone, laying it on the pillow next to his ear so he could hear Kurt.
I walked across an empty land. I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.
Blaine smiled at the familiar song, sighing and snuggling down into the pillow as he listened to Kurt's clear, gorgeous voice.
I felt the earth beneath my feet, sat by the river and it made me complete. Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
Blaine's eyes fluttered closed again, his breathing slowing as he drifted, floating somewhere between sleep and wakefulness..
Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
And as he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, the last words he heard made his whole body feel warm and safe.
And if you have a minute, why don't we go, talk about it somewhere only we know?