You're like a drug that I just can't kick - I give you up and it makes me sick.  The shakes come on and they come on quick.  You're like a drug that I just can't quit.

Like a Drug – Hard Fi

                ‘Hey, sweetie.  How's your head?'  Kurt is looking at him with genuine concern.

                ‘How's yours?'  Blaine tries to keep his voice even.  He needs answers and an argument now is not what either of them would need. 

                ‘Eugh.  Remind me never to drink again!  I feel like there is a parade of elephants in here – I spent most of the early hours talking to God on the porcelain phone.'  Kurt flops down next to Blaine on the sofa and leans his head against Blaine's shoulder.  Blaine smiles slightly – Kurt looks so adorable all dishevelled, wearing yesterday's clothes.

                ‘Next time just have something to eat first.'  Kurt smiles at his comment.  Blaine frowns slightly.  ‘Where did you stay?  I was worried about you.'

                ‘Oh, honey – I'm sorry.  I figured you'd be resting and I didn't want to disturb you.'

                ‘You didn't tell me you weren't coming home.  I couldn't sleep - I kept seeing…forget it.  You're OK that's all that matters.'  Kurt smiles slightly at him.  He knows there's something more but is too tired to push.  Kurt snuggles into him and Blaine rests his head on Kurt's.  Blaine's mind is racing – the thoughts dark and self-deprecating.

                Kurt is fine.  It was all a misunderstanding.  You got yourself worked up over absolutely nothing.  He was enjoying himself with a friend which he is entitled to do and you read into it. 

                But what if he's bored of me?

                He's in love with you and you are with him.  Everything is fine.  He's with you now isn't he?

                But he wasn't last night.

                Because he thought you had a bad headache and didn't want to disturb you.  See!  He cares about you.

                But he stayed with Michael.

                Yes, and spent the whole time being violently ill – he explained that.

                But…

                Enough ‘but's.  You're torturing yourself for no good reason.

                He deserves better than you.  Serves you right if he did cheat on you.  That would make you even wouldn't it?  Maybe that was his plan all along.  Build you up to break you down.  It would make sense.

                Stop it.  That's ridiculous.  Kurt would never…

                But you have left him alone in the city, and you're about to leave again.  He's bound to get lonely.  You couldn't last a couple of weeks apart before – what makes you think anything has changed.  He told you last time – he told you he had had temptations…

                Stop it.  This is ridiculous.

                You don't deserve him.  You know that.

                I love him.

                Does he love you?

                Yes.

                What makes you sure?  What makes you so certain?  Ask him – go on. 

                I trust him.

                So?

                I don't need to ask him because I trust him. 

                You are pathetic.

Blaine closed his eyes and tried to stop thinking.  Everything would be alright.  He had a couple more days before he had to travel up to Scotland - he did not want to spend them angry and he certainly did not want to hurt Kurt by asking him stupid questions just to soothe his own stupid anxiety and guilt.  He kissed the top of Kurt's head and breathed in the scent of the man he adored.

                ‘Are you still awake?'

Kurt's muffled groan was all the answer he needed.  Blaine forced a smile.

                ‘Come on – we both need to get some actual sleep.  Bed?'

Kurt lifted his head to allow Blaine to get up.  He flopped onto the sofa as Blaine moved and held out a hand.  Blaine took it and hoisted Kurt to his feet then led him to the bedroom. 

                The next day was perfect – Kurt had surprised him by taking the day off to spend it with Blaine.  He'd worked hours of overtime to wangle the time off.  They spent the day in the bedroom, only emerging for food.  Neither wanted to admit they were actually saying ‘goodbye' for weeks.  They mapped each other's skin, both trying to commit to memory the taste of each other, the noises each other made, both trying to make the day last forever. 

                Blaine's alarm clock woke them both and Blaine had never heard such a horrific sound.  In less than 5 hours he would be in Edinburgh, 405.2 miles away from Kurt (not that he had looked it up).  652.1 kilometres.  6 hours and 44 minutes by car.  1 hour and 10 minutes by aeroplane. 

Lima to New York was 591.3 miles (951.6 kilometres) look what happened then.

Blaine rolled over to snuggle back up to Kurt.  Kurt's arm pulled Blaine in closer to him.

                ‘I love you.'

                ‘I love you too.'

                ‘I'm going to miss you so much, Blaine.'

                ‘I love you, Kurt.'

                ‘I know.'

                ‘I mean it.'

                ‘I know.  I love you too.'

Kurt kissed him hard.

                ‘You have to get up, baby.'  Kurt mumbled into Blaine's hair. 

                ‘In a minute.'

                ‘Come on, honey.  It's been 15 minutes.  You'll miss your flight.'

                ‘I don't care.'

                ‘Yes you do.  You love your job.  Come on – get up.'

                ‘I love you more.'

                ‘I know.  Come on.  Up up.'

                ‘You just want me gone.'

                ‘You know that's not true.'

                ‘I know.'  Blaine sighed but made no hint of intending to actually move.  Kurt sighed.

                ‘Don't make me force you out of bed, Blaine.'

Blaine clung on to Kurt and pretended to fall asleep.  Kurt laughed lightly and poked him in the ribs.

                ‘Come on, Blaine.  Get up.  If you miss this flight the production manager may shoot you.'

                ‘He wouldn't shoot me.  He loves me.'

                ‘You're right - everyone loves you.  He'd shoot me instead.'

                ‘Lies.'

                ‘No lies!'

Blaine smiled slightly and ran his hand over the fine hair on Kurt's bare chest.

                ‘I'm going to miss you so much, Kurt.'

                ‘I'm going to miss you too.  Come on – I'll make you coffee.'

                ‘I am immune to bribery.'

                ‘Now we both know that is not true.'  Kurt gave Blaine a knowing smile and ran his hand down Blaine's naked torso, dragging his fingertips until he reached Blaine's hip bone.  Blaine moaned as Kurt's fingers ran circles near the edge of his pubic hair.  Blaine kissed Kurt's throat and let his own hand drift down to Kurt's ass.  Kurt smiled slightly, kissed Blaine back and whispered, ‘Sorry, baby,' before tickling him, stealing the sheets and dashing from the bed laughing.  ‘You'll forgive me later – now get up and I'll get you that coffee.'

                ‘I hate you.'  Blaine laughed as he lay where he had fallen flat on the mattress.

                ‘You love me.  Now get up!'