Hold your breath and count to ten, fall apart then start again…

English Summer Rain – Placebo

The rest of the evening was a bit of a blur to Blaine.  He was dimly aware of being whisked into Patty's office with Mark, Ken and Paul and then going over some contracts which basically guaranteed him work pretty much every evening.  He had no idea how Dare would take this as he'd have to quit the other evening gigs.  Patty had then started talking about recording some of the original songs and arrangements she'd heard him working on and demo-ing during his sets and after a good hour of talking Blaine had finally emerged from the office utterly physically and emotionally exhausted.  The other guys – his band mates! - had packed up and left while Blaine had finished talking over the details with Patty and he was not surprised to find the place pretty empty.  Well, except for Kurt. 

                ‘Kurt!  God, I'm so sorry!  I didn't expect you to wait for me…'

Kurt immediately placed a finger his lips effectively silencing Blaine.

                ‘Blaine you were amazing tonight.  You're always amazing but… wow.  I'm not at all surprised those guys wanted you to join them.  Congratulations!'

                ‘Thanks, Kurt.'

                ‘Come on, you.  You must be starving!'  Kurt picked up Blaine's guitar case and linked arms with him as Blaine picked up his violin case.  ‘Pizza?'

Blaine smiled softly and followed Kurt's lead.

                He's not sure how they ended up back at Blaine's apartment with take-out pizza and champagne – Kurt leading a toast to Blaine, draped over one of the arms of the armchair he's settled into.  Blaine muses that Kurt looks so at home there.

                ‘Earth to Blaine.'

                ‘Sorry, Kurt.  I guess I'm just still in shock.  My mind's racing.'

                ‘Hey,' Kurt said stretching his arm across the gap between his armchair and Blaine's and taking Blaine's hand.  ‘What's up?  You've not been with it since we got to that pizza place.'

                ‘I'm just thinking, that's all.'

                ‘You know how dangerous that is, right?'  Kurt teased, his fingers idly tracing the outlines of Blaine's fingers and drawing lazy circles on the back of his hand.

Blaine's eyes suddenly meet Kurt's for the first time since they were on stage together that evening and Kurt's leaning in to close the distance between them.

                ‘Kurt.  What is this?'

                ‘What's what, Blaine?'

                ‘This.'  He gestured to the two of them with his free hand.  ‘Kurt, you can't tell me that there isn't something going on here…'

                ‘Blaine, don't do this now.'

                ‘Do what, Kurt?'

                ‘We were having such a great day – you got a permanent job with a professional band!  You're going to be recording your songs!  Songs you wrote!  And we explored New York like tourists together and went to the top of the Empire State building and visited the aquarium, had cupcakes from the Magnolia bakery, and took cheesy tourist photos outside the When Harry Met Sally restaurant, and the Friends café...  Please don't ruin this.  Not now.'  Kurt's eyes were imploring.

                ‘Ruin what, Kurt?  I don't even know what this is.  Two days ago we were barely talking.  You didn't even know which state I was in and now suddenly we're falling right back in step with where we were before you went to New York and it is confusing the hell out of me right now.  I mean, what about Adam?  He was there tonight, that was him wasn't it?  You brought a date with you and you left with me…'

                ‘Blaine, stop!'  Kurt let go of Blaine's hand and stood up, his eyes glistening.  ‘I don't know, OK!  I just don't know!  You suddenly reappear in my life singing that song and looking like a Greek rock god all charming and confident and so very Blaine…  You're the love of my life and you're finally in New York - you're here!  And I can touch you and smell you and see you, and it's intoxicating.  You set every nerve in my body on fire.  You're like a magnet and I can't see anyone else past you.  I… I really like Adam, Blaine.  But he's not you.  He'll never be you.  That's what I liked so much about him but then with you both in the same room I couldn't even see him.  He wouldn't even talk to me after we sang together, you know.  He said five words to me.  Five words: ‘You'll never be over him.'  Then he left.  I hurt him, Blaine.  I hurt him and part of me doesn't care because nothing matters but you.  And I hated you so much.  I really wanted to be over you.  I wanted yesterday and today to be a fluke, for it just to be excitement and nerves from catching up with my best friend.  But it wasn't.  It isn't.  We're not just best friends.  We're not.  I love you…'  Blaine can't take the pain in Kurt's eyes anymore or watch his tears fall.  He crashes their lips together and Kurt clings to him like he's his lifeline.  Blaine holds him until his breathing calms and his heart rate starts to return to normal.  Kurt's head buried against Blaine's neck. 

Kurt's dropped his shields for the first time in what feels like years and he's letting Blaine back in.  Trusting him not to hurt him again.  Trusting him.  Blaine's seen Kurt break and Kurt isn't ready for that yet.  He starts to panic and steps back, away from Blaine and gingerly dries his eyes.  ‘God, I must look like an utter state right now.  It was the champagne talking.  Sorry for being such a drama queen.'  Kurt starts to gather his coat, avoiding Blaine's eyes as he talks.  Slamming his walls back up.

                ‘Don't go, Kurt.  Please.'  It's a plea - almost a whisper of defeat.  Kurt's eyes lock with Blaine's and he can't walk away.  Blaine steps towards Kurt and takes his hand.  Kurt feels his pulse quicken in response - his body betraying him – he's sure Blaine can hear the hammer of his heart in his chest.  ‘I'm not going to pretend that this will be easy.  I'm not going to lie to you – if we're going to try us again we have a lot of things we need to talk over.  Things we have to work on.  Like our communication skills.'  A small smile plays over the corner of Kurt's mouth.  ‘We will fight, and things aren't always going to go the way we plan.  But I think we're worth the effort and the pain.  I think that what we had before was really something, but it was sweet, naïve, young and undeveloped and we're both very different people than we were in high school.  I think what we could have could be something really beautiful and strong.  And I want to give that a chance, Kurt.  I want to give us another chance.  But it's up to you.  I'm ready - I'll be here waiting for you for as long as it takes for you to come back to me.  That will never change, Kurt.  I'm not going to push you…'

                ‘What you just said.  I want that…you…all of it.'  Kurt's eyes are glistening again and Blaine can feel his own moistening in response to those sweet words.  Words he's been longing to hear from Kurt for months.  Words he feared he would never hear.  ‘I love you.'

                ‘I love you too.'  Blaine's grinning so inanely and he doesn't care.  His life has summersaulted in two days and he's giddy with relief and joy. 

Kurt steps towards him and they're kissing, their hands frantically exploring each other's bodies, breathing each other in.  The deep ache in Kurt's chest lifts and his soul is thrumming.  Kurt leans his forehead against Blaine's - warm honey eyes meet pools of blue, splashed with familiar green and yellow.  He feels like he's finally home.  They kiss again.  Slowly and more measured this time.  Kurt runs fingers through Blaine's curls.

                ‘I really like your hair like this.'

Blaine rolls his eyes and Kurt fists his hand in the tighter curls at the nape of Blaine's neck.  A soft moan escapes Blaine and encouraged, Kurt grazes the side of his neck with his teeth.  Blaine slides a hand under Kurt's shirt and his hands reacquaint themselves with Kurt's perfect skin.  Kurt's free hand traces the muscles of Blaine's upper arm and chest he hums in appreciation. 

                ‘It's not fair you know.'

                ‘What isn't?'  Blaine asks, confused by Kurt's change of topic.

                ‘I never stood a chance.'

                ‘I'm not sure I understand what you're talking about.'

                ‘You.  Now.  Like this.'   Kurt runs his hand down Blaine's chest down towards his belt buckle.  Blaine smiles and trails kisses along Kurt's jaw and down the side of his neck.

                ‘All yours,' Blaine breathes.

                ‘Mine,' Kurt agrees as he tugs at Blaine's shirt and kisses his collarbone.