I wound up telling Finn first out of all the members of the New Directions for a few reasons. First off, his mom was dating my dad.  I didn’t want to be the cause of any dissention between them so Dad and I decided that we would tell the Hudson clan that there would soon be a new Hummel in the world at dinner Sunday evening. Secondly, his reaction to the news would give me an idea of how the rest of the glee club would respond and, even though I would never tell him this to his face for fear of his already over bloated ego getting any bigger and smothering us all, he was kind of the leader of the club and if he was there to back me up it would make my admission that much easier. Thirdly, I did sort of kind of have a crush on him even if it was being shoved to the back of my mind due to more pressing concerns.

The morning—or more correctly, early afternoon—after our lengthy discussion of my child’s future (my child! I was still reeling over the idea of my becoming a father, at turns unbearably excited or completely terrified), Dad and I had breakfast together in tense silence. I knew that even though he had accepted my decision, he was still disappointed that I had gotten myself into the situation in the first place. When he was finished he rinsed his plate, grabbed a beer from the fridge, ruffled my hair and headed to the living room to watch some game on the big screen television. He still loved me, but I didn’t know if our relationship would ever be what it was again.

Simone treaded into the kitchen just moments later. I was pretty sure she’d been waiting at the basement door for my dad to leave. If my smirk was showing itself she didn’t mention it.

“Morning, sunshine,” I said brightly. She grunted in response and grabbed the mug of tea I held out for her. She took a sip and grimaced.

“What the hell is this?” she sputtered.

“Chamomile,” I said smugly. “You shouldn’t have a lot of caffeine. Not good for the baby. Also, I don’t know if you have been taking any kind of prenatal vitamin, but I have some multivitamins in my bathroom cabinet. Top shelf on the left.”

She stared at me blank faced. “You certainly seem to know a lot about pregnancy for a gay teenaged boy.”

My smirk became more pronounced. “While you were sleeping in, I was doing research. I don’t have a whole lot of time to learn how to take care of a baby and I don’t want to put any more pressure on my father than absolutely necessary. I set up an appointment with Planned Parenthood for parenting classes and with the local health department for first-aid and CPR classes. They are going to give me some information on WIC and SCHIP to see if the baby will qualify for any type of aid programs.” She continued to stare at me, dumbfounded. “I also picked up a roast at the grocery store and prepared it for tonight’s dinner. It is slow cooking as we speak.”

“You’re a morning person aren’t you?” She glared at me as she sipped her tea.  I smiled sweetly back.

“Yep. Now how would like some toast.”

The hours before our dinner date with the Hudson’s passed quickly. Simone and I exchanged numbers and I assured her that my phone would be glued to my hand in case she needed anything before she left. Her finals at the university were the following week but she said she would come by again next Saturday so we could talk more.

I programmed her number in with the loudest and most obnoxious ringtone available so I could be sure to hear even if I was dead asleep. I wouldn’t want to miss the birth of my child because of a missed call. Of course, we hadn’t discussed whether or not I would be with her during the birth. I knew that I wanted to be, but whether or not she would want me with her was another matter. I mean, it wasn’t like I hadn’t already seen her completely exposed, though thankfully I couldn’t remember most of our encounter. What I did remember sent shivers down my spine. Girl parts were definitely not for me.

Dismissing that train of thought, I pulled the roast from the oven and set the table. Carole and Finn were due anytime. I went through the deep breathing exercises that had seemed to do the trick yesterday. Apparently, they weren’t up to the task today because all I managed to do was make myself dizzy.

When the doorbell rang my heart jumped into my throat. Why was I so nervous about this?

Deep down I knew the reason I was nervous was because my father was really happy for the first time in a long time and whether or not he got to stay so happy would depend on how Carole took the news. She’d already gone through her own teenage daddy drama this year, and even though Finn hadn’t turned out to be the father of Quinn’s baby, it couldn’t have been a pleasant experience for her. I just hoped that she loved my dad enough to stick with him through this.

I was pouring glasses of sweet tea when Dad, Carole and Finn came into the room laughing together. I was the only one who noticed that my father’s laughter was a little off. He met my gaze and I could see the anxiety in his eyes. He pulled Carole’s chair out for her and we all settled in. The conversation during dinner consisted of the general “how was your week?” and “have you heard that new song on the radio?” but when Carole turned to me and asked “Anything big plans for this summer?” I choked on a carrot.

Dad’s strong hands clapped me on the back until I coughed the renegade vegetable into my napkin. I looked up to see all eyes on me and my appetite disappeared. They were waiting for me to say something. I panicked and turned to my dad. He sighed and dropped his fork to his plate.

“Carole, Finn, there is something Kurt and I would like to tell you.” He gave me a stern look like he thought I might run from the room. To be honest, the thought had crossed my mind. “There will be a new addition to our household pretty soon and we wanted to tell you guys first.”

“Dude, are you guys getting a dog? Cause that would be so cool,” Finn said excitedly. I couldn’t help the small hysterical giggle that escaped my lips. Dad’s glare stopped me from having another outburst but I could see that our exchange had caught Carole’s attention.

“Burt? What’s going on?” She glanced from my father to me and back again. “Kurt?”

I pushed my chair back from the table and stood, my eyes trained on my half-eaten roast. “No, Finn. We’re not getting a dog.” I forced myself to look at him. His face was a mixture of disappointment and confusion but I knew he was waiting for me to continue. “Do you remember that party we went to back in October?” His confusion seemed to only increase as I spoke so I figured I’d better just get this out as quickly as possible. Like ripping off a band-aid. “Well, I drank too much and took a girl home and I don’t really remember too much but now she’s pregnant and she doesn’t want the kid so I’m keeping him by myself.”

There. Done. Easy.

Finn just continued to stare at me like he was waiting for me to continue, like he was waiting for the punchline of the joke. I stared back. Finally, after a few moments, he seemed to realize that what I’d just told them wasn’t some kind of elaborate joke and his face mouth dropped open in astonishment.

“Dude!”

I rolled my eyes. Of course, his reaction would be summed up in that one word. I turned to my father and Carole to see how she was taking the news. She was looking at my father whose face was devoid of expression. She turned to me, tears in her eyes, but she was doing her best not to let them fall. I held my head high. I didn’t want her pity.

She rose from her chair and I thought she was going to leave, just walk out of my father’s life. I couldn’t blame her, but it still hurt. Instead she walked slowly around the table and wrapped me in her arms.

She held me tight and eventually I wrapped my arms around her and let myself break down. She held me while I cried. She rubbed soothing circles across my back and murmured comforting nonsense and for the first time in a long time, I thought this must be what it feels like to have a mom.

I could hear Dad and Finn talking quietly but I didn’t want to let go of Carole just yet and she seemed to be happy to hold me for now.

We all eventually moved into the living room where I let them fire their questions at me. Carole’s questions had to do with how I was going manage balancing a baby and school and a social life and what this baby was going to mean for my future. I did my best to answer her.

Finn’s questions centered around Simone. They weren’t even really questions.

“Dude, I can’t believe this! That really tall, really hot chick? The absolute hottest chick at the entire party and you took her home. This is unbelieveable! Puck is gonna be so pissed!”

“Really, Finn?” I gave him my best bitch-glare. “That’s what you choose to take from this entire conversation?”

“Sorry, but, Dude! I was outmanned by a gay dude! It’s a lot to take in.”

“I’m having a baby, Finn!  Don’t you think that’s a little more outrageous than me being attractive to a girl? I. Am. Going. To. Be. A. Father.”

“Yeah, I guess that part hasn’t hit me yet.” He was staring at me as if in awe. Like I was suddenly some kind of god due to the fact that I had gotten laid. I was just glad he didn’t seem too disturbed and hoped he would help me out with telling the others.

“Yeah, well, it’s knocked me into next week, thank you very much.” I bit my lip and tried to put together my next words in a way that wouldn’t make him uncomfortable. “I kind of wanted to ask your advice, if you wouldn’t mind. I mean, even though it turned out to not be yours, how did you deal when you thought you were going to be a dad?”

He looked at me, seeming to study my face. He was wearing what I referred to as his ‘deep in thought’ expression. He was silent so long that I thought he wasn’t going to answer me.

“I was so scared at first. I mean, so scared. And I cried, all over Mr. Schuester and my mom. I thought my life was over. But then, I got kinda happy about it. I was gonna be a dad and have this little person. He was gonna be brand new, without all the bad crap inside him. I could teach him to be a good man and he could be better than me. And I would be a part of that.”

Wow. I always thought that Finn had the depth of a puddle, but his answer was really well thought out and meaningful. I was impressed. And he wasn’t done, either.

“Kurt, I don’t know if I would have been a good dad. I’m not super bright and I’m really clumsy. And I sleep really heavy. Like, I slept through a tornado at my aunt’s house once.” My eyes bugged a little at that. Finn grinned at my reaction. “Yeah, it was really cool. They found a cow in a tree a mile from her house.” So much for that depth. “But what I mean is, I don’t know if I would have been able to handle it really. But you, man, you’ll do fine. You’re like, the smartest kid in our class and you’re super tough, I know you are because you take so much crap at school but it never stops you from being who you are. And you care about everybody. So yeah, you’ll be a great dad. You got nothing to worry about.”

Then he smiled that dopey little half-smile that made me fall in love with him last year. It pulled at my heart again but not in a romantic sense. More of a comradery of sorts. It was something we had in common, something we could talk about. And to hear that he thought so highly made me extremely happy. Maybe we’d become friends.

I huffed out the breath I’d been holding. “Thank you, Finn. You don’t know how much that means to me.” His smile broadened. “So would you be willing to stand up with me when I tell the rest of the New Directions? I’m not looking forward to the ordeal or the questions that are bound to be asked. It would really help to know that someone’s got my back when the full force of their insanity is focused on me.”

“Yeah, no problem dude.” Much to my surprise, Finn wrapped me in a one-armed hug and ruffled my hair. I huffed indignantly but I was inwardly pleased.

Well, one down, ten to go.