By the time August rolled around, Blaine and I decided we were officially boyfriends. We’d gone on a few more dates by then, one was a traditional dinner-and-a-movie date,  and once I went to watch him perform with his band, but most of the others were more of Blaine tagging along while Jude and I did things which usually ended in Blaine treating us to ice cream or some other form of dessert.

“You’re making my ass fat,” I growled at him over a brownie sundae at McDonalds. Jude was playing on the slide so I didn’t have to watch my language like usual.

He grinned at me and waggled his obnoxiously triangular eyebrows. “I happen to like your ass and if it were to get any bigger that would not be a bad thing.”

“Oh my god, you’re a chubby-chaser!” I exclaimed, laughing. Blaine just rolled his eyes and fed me another bite of sundae. I would never tell him so but I really was enjoying it.

 I peered over at the playplace to check on Jude again. He was being pulled around by the hand by a little girl with pigtails who was babbling a mile a minute. Even if he had been capable of speech I doubt he would have gotten a word in edgewise with that girl. Blaine noticed my gaze and looked over.

“Aw, look at that. Young love.”

I nearly shot Diet Coke out my nose. “What?” I sputtered, choking. I looked at Blaine with eyes that were nearly bugging out of my head. “Oh, no! My son is not in love of any form be it young, old, or puppy. He’s only four, he doesn’t like girls yet.” My voice was coming out at a higher than normal pitch but I couldn’t help it.

“Don’t be so sure about that,” Blaine chuckled, still looking over at the kids. I looked over to see what in the world he was talking about and right as I did, I saw it. My son was getting his first kiss. Sure it was on the cheek, but still. He was grinning like mad, his big blue eyes scrunching up and his cheeks darkening. The little floozy with the pigtails turned and ran and Jude watched for a minute before giving chase. I just gaped at them, my body frozen while my mind raced. If he was kissing girls this young, then it wouldn’t be long before he had a girlfriend or maybe more than one. Then he would start kissing girls for real and that would lead to other things and he cannot end up a teen dad like me!

Blaine’s loud laughter finally distracted me from the horror that was mind at that moment.

“This so not funny, Blaine Anderson!” I cried. “This is a serious problem!”

My outburst only made him laugh harder. He was clutching his stomach and gasping for breath as I glared at him.

Jude ran over to our table, breathless, and began signing to me.

‘Daddy guess what! I—‘

He paused, glancing at Blaine who was still doubled over and wheezing with laughter. ‘What’s wrong with Blaine?’

“He’s an idiot,” I said dryly.

‘That’s not nice, Daddy! We don’t call names’ Jude scolded me, frowning.

“You’re right, Jude,” I sighed. “I’m very sorry for calling you an idiot, Blaine. Do you forgive me?”

Blaine looked at me, his face red from his effort not to laugh, and nodded.

“Okay, Daddy’s been forgiven, now what did you want to tell me?”

And with that, he launched into retelling what Blaine and I had already observed about the girl holding his hand and telling him he was cute and kissing him on the cheek. Twice. I guess in my panic I’d missed the second one.

Blaine tried to follow Jude’s hand movements but I think he only understood about half of what was being said. He’d been working on his own to learn ASL since that first date and he was picking it quickly but he still got lost when Jude signed rapidly like that.

I smiled and nodded along as Jude told me all about the girl’s pretty hair and smile and how he liked holding her hand—wait, what? When he told me she called him her boyfriend, I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming.

He finished his story and ran off to play some more, leaving me dumbstruck at the table with a slightly confused Blaine.

“Catch me up. I only caught the first bit of that before his little hands started to blur with speed,” Blaine joked.

“He said she’s his girlfriend,” I muttered darkly.

“That’s so sweet,” Blaine cooed, his cheesy smile for once not making my heart skip a beat.

“No, it is not,” I said vehemently. “My little boy is growing up.”

I was being irrational. I knew this even before Blaine pointed it out to me. Jude and this girl, whose name I was pretty sure he didn’t even know, had met by chance on a playground and would probably never see each other again.

“Excuse me, is that your son?” A woman’s voice queried from behind me.

I turned to answer her, when I realized that she hadn’t been speaking to me, but to Blaine. He stared at her, his mouth formed into a little ‘O’ of surprise. Before he could correct her, she continued.

“My little Suzie just seems smitten with him and I was wondering if you’d like to set up a play date.” She smiled sweetly at Blaine who was finally seeming to get his wits about him.

“Oh, er, no. I mean, he’s not mine. He’s my boyfriend’s son, actually,” he said gesturing to me. I smiled at her and opened my mouth to tell her that I would gladly take her number to set up a play date (after I had an age-appropriate talk with Jude about girls) but she cut me off.

“Yes, well, never mind then,” she said coldly. She walked swiftly away from us and gathered her things. She called to her daughter sharply and dragged her out of the restaurant.

I inhaled sharply, working to keep the tears that trying to form in my eyes from showing. I looked over at my son. He watched little Suzie leaving with her mother, a sad pout marring his beautiful face. He went back to the slide, but the enthusiasm he’d had previously was gone.

“Hey,” Blaine said softly taking my hand. I stared at our interlocked fingers blankly. Did this really seem wrong to that woman? Was this so obscene that she didn’t want her daughter exposed to it?

“I think it’s time for us to go home,” I stated dully. I stood, catching Jude’s attention and he walked over to me slowly.

‘Are we leaving?’ he signed solemnly. I nodded and he obediently put his shoes back on.

“Kurt—“ Blaine began, but I cut him off.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I told him quietly. He nodded at me and scooped Jude up in his arms, talking to the boy with forced cheer. I was grateful for that, because I really didn’t know if I could have pretended to be okay right then.

Blaine strapped Jude in his booster and set up the DVD player that my father had installed in the headrest for his birthday. When Jude was thoroughly entranced by Nemo, Blaine pulled me a few feet from the vehicle.

“Blaine, I told you, I really don’t feel like having this conversation right now,” I said with a sigh.

“I know, and we don’t have to talk about this now, but we do need to discuss it soon,” he said. He placed a finger under my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes. The fact that they were above mine made me realize just how much I was hunched into myself, seeing as he was shorter than me. “But I am going to follow you home. No, don’t argue with me. You’re upset and I just want to make sure you get home safe and sound. Just let me, okay?”

“Okay,” I whispered. He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead and stepped over to his car, starting the engine and waiting for me to lead.

Jude was engrossed in his movie and didn’t notice my silence on the drive home. The almost hour long drive from Bellfontaine gave me time to think about what had happened and what I was going to do about it.

I had dealt with homophobia in high school, but it hadn’t bothered me too badly. Sure, the slushie facials sucked but I knew that I was better than those jackasses and didn’t let it get to me. When I started my junior year started and I was only attending half-time, the bullying lessened considerably. The fact that I had ‘made it’ with Simone, whom every one of the football players had tried to charm at that party, also helped.

But I had never had it affect Jude. Sure, he didn’t realize that I was the reason he’d lost his new friend, but I did and I knew that it probably wouldn’t be the last time it happened, either. So I had to decide how I was going to deal with this. Jude would be starting kindergarten in another year and even if it didn’t start right away, eventually he would hear his daddy called some pretty nasty names. I needed to prepare him for it but I didn’t know how.

I had just pulled into the drive when I realized what I needed to do. Blaine’s car pulled up beside mine but I made no move to get out just yet. I was surprised when Carole appeared at my door. I rolled down my window and waited for her to speak.

“Unlock the door, Kurt. I’m gonna take Jude upstairs and give him his bath and get him ready for bed,” she said with a sad smile. I raised an eyebrow at her, puzzled. “Blaine called me, honey. He said you were upset.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

Blaine stayed in his own car until the front door shut behind my son and his grandmother. I reached over and opened the passenger door and he silently climbed inside. He opened his mouth to speak but I held up a finger to stop him, pulling my phone out instead. I scrolled through my contacts, unsure if the one I needed was even still in there. Then I found it. Rachel Berry, Home.

“Berry residence, Hiram speaking,” spoke the tinny voice emitting from my phone. I took a deep breath before speaking.

“Mr. Berry? It’s Kurt Hummel. Would it be possible for me to come over to speak with you?”

My conversation with one of Rachel’s two dads only took a few minutes, concluding with plans for lunch with him and his partner the following day. Blaine waited patiently until I was done, though he looked puzzled. When I ended the call I turned to face him and explain.

“A classmate of mine from high school has two gay fathers,” I said for a start. His confusion cleared and I kept going. “I want to talk with Leroy and Hiram about how they dealt with homophobia directed at Rachel because of her parentage. I’ve never had anything like that happen before and I know it’s only going to get worse.” I took a shaky breath, wiping my overly wet eyes. “I have no clue what I’m supposed to do right now so I’m just looking for some advice.”

“Okay,” Blaine nodded. He swallowed a couple of times before finishing, his Adams apple bobbing up and down. “Kurt, I want to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me and with yourself. Don’t worry about how I might react or that you’ll hurt my feelings because this is important. You know I care about you a whole hell of a lot and I care about Jude so very, very much, and your answer to my question will not change either of those things. Do you think it would be better for you and Jude if I wasn’t in your lives right now?”

I stared at the dash while he spoke and didn’t look at him when he finished. For a short moment I thought he was breaking up with me, and then I realized he was giving me the choice. He cared about me, about us, and he cared about my son, but he was willing to let us go if I thought Jude and I would be better off without him. The fact that he would willingly do that, just to protect a child that wasn’t even his, spoke volumes to me. This guy wasn’t messing around.

“Blaine, I think it might be easier if we weren’t together,” I said with my eyes still focused on the wood grain in front of me. I heard his sharp intake of breath and turned to meet his eyes. He was heartbroken. I could tell even though he was trying not to show it. “Easier, but not better. You make me so happy, Blaine and I know that we’ve only known each other for a little over a month but I am already more attached to you than I’m willing to admit out loud.” He smiled softly at that, but I wasn’t finished. “Jude’s gonna face a lot of shit growing up. He’s mute and he has a gay father and no mother. He is going to get picked on for those reasons and any other number of things just because.”

I lowered my eyes from his feeling suddenly shy. My hand inched forward on the console and he immediately grabbed it in his squeezing tightly. The next words I had planned were big, and Blaine’s response would probably determine whether or not we would stay together for more than just the summer.

“As much as it might be easier without you, I think having you with us for support might make it easier, too. If we were in this together, if we had one another to lean on and cry to and be understanding for one another. I know you’re only twenty, Blaine, but I need someone who is committed to me and to Jude. I don’t want to ask you for something you’re not ready for, so I need you to make a choice now. Are you in this for the long haul? Because if you’re not I need to know before Jude gets any more attached to you. Before I fall any harder for you.”

There it was, my heart laid bare. I’d never shown anyone this much vulnerability before and I was terrified, but I knew it had to be done. I wasn’t going to let some guy half-ass it with my kid. He didn’t need anybody else to hurt him. There would be enough people willing to do that when he gets in school.

“Kurt,” Blaine whispered, his voice choked. I looked up to see tears in his eyes, one freeing itself and sliding down his cheek. I quickly swiped it with my thumb and he caught my hand where it was pressed against his cheek, holding it captive there. “Kurt, I want to be a part of yours and Jude’s world for as long as you’ll have me. I love both of you so much it scares me. I will be here for you until you turn me away.”

“Well,” I sniffed, my own eyes watering, “don’t hold your breath on that.” I shot him my trademarked smirk, even if it was a bit shaky, but it got him to laugh. That was what I was going for. “I love you, too.”

We both laughed then, for the sheer joy of laughing. It was a release from all the tension of the day and also a celebration of our love for each other. It was crazy and it was too soon but it felt so right and real and glorious. I didn’t care that we probably shouldn’t have said it yet. It was true. As impossible as it might seem, I, Kurt Hummel was in love and, as luck would have it, Blaine loved me back.

For that short space of time, life was wonderful. Maybe it would stay that way for a while.