June 2, 2012, 9:19 p.m.
You Could Be My Unintended: Chapter 18
T - Words: 3,554 - Last Updated: Jun 02, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 29/29 - Created: Apr 22, 2012 - Updated: Jun 02, 2012 3,710 0 6 1 0
Standing in an unfamiliar shower was weird. My hair was full of coconut smelling lather instead of my regular Head & Shoulders and instead of an Irish Springs bar there was Dove body wash. I didn't mind the change really; it was just a little strange to me. New. Of course, I'd never gone on a date quite like the one I was currently still on, either, so there was that too.
I let my mind wander while I rinsed myself off. I had to admit, the body wash was amazing. It left my skin feeling soft rather than the squeaky clean to the point of feeling dry that I was used to with my own soap. It wasn't something I'd ever really put thought into but I made a mental note to pick some up the next time I was out shopping.
I was still riding the high of giddiness from Kurt's chaste kiss. I was overwhelmed with the intensity of my like for this man. I knew myself, knew that I crushed on guys easily, but this felt different. For one, Kurt was not my usual type. I usually went for older guys, and if I was being completely honest with myself, I tended to go for bad boys. Or in the words of my best friend Wes, jerks.
"I told you the guy was bad news," Wes said with a shake of his head. "But you don't listen, Blaine."
"Are you going to rub it in all day, Wes, because I'd just like to know so I can clear my calendar," I said snottily. I didn't mean to be so grumpy with my best friend but I was heartbroken and his 'I told you so' attitude wasn't helping.
"Hey, don't get snippy with me just because you are attracted to assholes," Wes countered.
I just sunk deeper into my couch, pulling my blanket tight around me, pouting.
"I am not attracted to assholes, Wesley," I whined. Given my track record this was a lie. My last five relationships had ended after the guy either cheated on me or made me feel so bad about myself that Wes finally convinced me to break it off.
My friend David once tried to psychoanalyze me, saying that I picked guys that treated me badly because I had issues with my father. I told him to go screw himself and immediately regretted it. I apologized right away but since then our friendship had been a little strained and he no longer had any sort of comment on my love life. Maybe he was right, but I didn't want to think about that.
"Blaine, maybe you should take some time off from dating," Wes said tentatively, waiting for me to snap at him. When I didn't he continued. "You might want to focus on you for a little while. You're young you've got plenty of time to find someone once you're more comfortable just being you, not someone's boyfriend."
I chewed my lip, contemplating his words. Maybe that was what I needed. I would be leaving for college soon and maybe it was time for a fresh start. I could leave all the heartbreak of Dalton behind me and just work on my studies, something I needed to do anyways to keep my full ride scholarship at Ohio State.
"Yeah, Wes, I think you're right."
So I stayed single that whole first year of college which wasn't really that hard considering how hard I was working. I was there on a combination merit and performance scholarship so I had to keep my GPA above a 3.75 and participate in the choir, not to mention I was working part-time at the campus bookstore to earn spending money. When I told my father I didn't want to go for pre-law—that I was giving up my legacy spot at Princeton and going for performing arts—he said that that was the last time I would disgrace the Anderson name and cut me off completely. I was lucky that my tuition at Dalton was prepaid or I don't know what I would have done for the last few months of my senior year. Wes let me stay with him the summer before I moved into the OSU dorms or I would have been living in my car.
I was also lucky that I had applied to Ohio State as a safety school as New York was now out of the question financially. They offered me a full ride with room and board included and I decided that staying in Ohio for another few years might not seem so bad as long as I got away from my family.
I met a group of guys through my musical theory class and we formed a band, doing gigs once a month or so during the school year with more dates planned for summer break. They all knew about my situation and agreed to let me crash at their apartment for the summer. Living with five other guys in a tiny two-bedroom apartment was cramped but it made the bills easier to pay and we were pretty good at not getting on each other's nerves.
It was because of them that I met Kurt.
I pulled a little boy onto the stage with me at the Westerville Mall's Independence Day Celebration so he could dance for the crowd. He couldn't have been more than five years old, maybe six and he was just full of joy and absolutely adorable. Then he leapt off the stage and scared me half to death.
I ran down to see him sprawled over a young guy who was smiling at him with so much love clear on his face I knew they must be family. Maybe brothers?
I chatted with the guy for a minute and found out that he was the boy's father which shocked me. It took me a minute to process the rest of what he'd been saying and he must have mistaken my surprise for something else because while he had been positively friendly before and he was suddenly closed off. I don't even think he realized he was doing it but he had placed himself in front of his son protectively, like he was trying to shield him from something. Me, I guess. As the rest of his statement finally made its way into my brain, I realized that he'd said 'a guy I thought was hot'. Was he gay?
I decided to take a chance and ask him out.
So I got his number, or at least the first six digits. It took me three wrong numbers before I got him on the phone and even then I almost screwed it up. Blame my nerves. I was usually on the receiving end of these calls; I didn't have a lot of experience in initiating things.
When he told me he already had plans, I thought for sure I was being rejected. Then he invited me to go along with him to a bachelor party, something I wasn't really excited about, but when he mentioned karaoke I perked up immediately. I will admit I'm something of a performance whore so even if the guy was a bust I could still have a good time.
But I never even sang one song. Kurt and I started talking and before I knew it hours had passed. I'd never met anyone I could talk with so easily about anything and everything. He told me all about his son and his family and friends and I told him about Dalton and my band and my job at the bookstore. We compared our college classes and I was surprised to find out we went to the same place. I told him I was surprised we'd never met and he told me that he took mostly online classes so he could spend more time with Jude.
"It eats up more of my financial aid but it's so worth it to spend more time with him," he said, his voice so laced with love for his child that it made my heart twinge painfully. I found myself envious of the child because I'd never felt that kind of love from my parents, even before I came out. They'd always been distant but after I told them I was gay they became outright hostile. My father was never violent with me but there's more than one way to hurt someone and emotional scars take longer to heal than physical ones, as David always told me.
His friends were great too, a bit crazy but all around nice. At one point when Kurt excused himself to the bathroom, they all converged on me at once, giving me the standard 'break his heart, I'll break your jaw' speeches. I was afraid at first because I'm kind of a small guy and a couple of them were huge. His brother made me feel like a hobbit when he towered over me, but I soon came to realize I had nothing to fear. At least, as long as I treated Kurt right.
Then Kurt was back and his shy smile made my heart flutter a little bit. He was beautiful and kind and funny and seemed like he might like me. I started thinking that maybe it wasn't that he wasn't my type, but that I'd just never really known what my type was. Maybe he was what I'd been looking for all this time, but I just needed to date a bunch of jerks to learn to appreciate a nice boy like Kurt.
"Blaine, did you drown?" Kurt's joking voice floated through the bathroom door and I realized that the water that had been almost too hot at first was now only lukewarm. Dammit. I didn't mean to space out like that and use up all the hot water in the house. How long had I been in here?
"Still Alive!" I shouted back. His answering laugh sent waves of happiness through me again and I couldn't help the goofy smile that crept onto my face. I couldn't seem to stop smiling around this guy. He probably thought I was some kind of dopey idiot, but then again, he did kind of make me feel like one. Not in a bad way, but in a you're-so-cute-and-funny-I'm-dumbstruck-that-you're-into-me kind of way. It was a different feeling but I liked it.
I dressed quickly, heading down the stairs to the living room to see Jude and Kurt writing a list of songs that we would be performing for Jude's grandparents later that day. Kurt was deep in a conversation with his son, both of their hands flying and his face was just radiating happiness. I had no clue as to what they were saying, but I hoped that maybe someday I could cause him to smile like that.
The concert for Kurt's parents went off without a hitch. Kurt and I ran through each of the five songs twice beforehand as Jude freestyled in front of us. He was amazing to watch, his face so serene as he swayed and twirled to the music.
After a standing ovation from his grandparents and numerous flourishing bows, Jude was dragged to his and Kurt's room for a nap before dinner. He started to protest but a stern look from Kurt had him dropping his head and trudging up the stairs with crossed arms and his lip pushed out. Mr. and Mrs. Hummel were both struggling not to let their amusement show on their faces as their grandson pouted.
I found myself once again alone with the two, but for some reason I was more nervous now than I had been even after my scary awakening. Maybe it was because after spending all day with Kurt and Jude I was really starting to become attached and now I kind of wished I'd made a better first impression with his family. I could tell just how tightly knit they all were and I had no doubt that if it came down to a choice between me and them he would choose them in a heartbeat.
"Well, I think I'm going to go and get started on dinner," Mrs. Hummel said as she got up from the couch. She smiled kindly at me. "Blaine, would you like to help me in the kitchen?"
Before I could respond to tell her I would love to help her, Mr. Hummel spoke up. "Nah, Blaine's gonna watch some of the game with me, aren't ya, kid?"
He phrased it like a question but I knew it was anything but. I just nodded wide eyed and gulped audibly. His wife stared at him for a moment but he never took his eyes off of me, and she finally huffed and left the room. My eyes darted once to the stairway, silently willing Kurt to come down right now.
"Don't worry, kid, it'll take Kurt at least twenty minutes to get that boy settled down," he said in a tone that was too cheery to be genuine. "Ya know, when Kurt told me he had a date with a boy in a band, I expected torn jeans and leather and tattoos and piercings. You are definitely not what I had pictured." He looked at me like he wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not.
I waited for him to continue because I knew he was far from finished. "I'm gonna ask you this once and you had better have a damn good answer because when my kid loves something he loves it with a passion that could move armies and I can already see that he's taken a liking to you. What are your intentions with my son?"
His gaze locked with mine and for the first time I noticed where Kurt got his eyes from. I took one deep breath before speaking.
"Sir, I like Kurt. A lot. I know we've only known each other for a few days, but I've seen that passion you were talking about. It's in his voice when he talks about his friends and family or about what he believes in or about what he wants for Jude."
"That's right, kid," he interjected when I paused. "You have to know before getting into a relationship with Kurt that you will never be his first priority. Jude will be. Before you. Before me. Before himself, even."
"That's how it should be, though," I stated softly. I could feel my chest growing tighter as I worked to find the courage to say what I needed to say. "I've watched the two of them together and a man would have to be blind to think that there could ever be anything more precious to Kurt than Jude. I've never seen someone look at another person like that. Not even close."
His brow furrowed slightly at my words but he remained silent. I knew he wanted to ask me more and if he did, I would tell him however much he wanted to hear, because I knew that he would accept nothing but the truth. But he didn't ask, and I didn't offer. The silence stretched on.
"You like the Buckeyes, kiddo?" He asked gruffly. I nodded and he turned on the game, though neither of us really paid much attention. A few minutes later, Kurt came bounding down the stairs, slight smile still playing on his lips. He placed a kiss atop his father's head as he passed by his chair; it wasn't a showy thing more like a loving habit. He settled next to me on the couch, closer than a friend would, but with enough distance to seem appropriate in front of parents.
We watched the game for thirty minutes before Mrs. Hummel announced that dinner was almost done and went upstairs to wake Jude. Well, Mr. Hummel watched the game, Kurt and I watched each other from the corner of our eyes, grinning each time we caught the other looking. Our fingers brushed against one another but with his father less than four feet from us I was nervous about taking his hand in mine.
Dinner was full of conversation just as breakfast had been. Everyone took turns translating Jude's words for me, which he soon realized and found funny.
'Daddy, he's silly! He can't talk with his hands like us!'
"No, he can't, baby. Some people don't know how to talk with their hands, but that's okay," Kurt told him. Jude signed to him again, then turned to me expectantly. I gave him my full attention while waiting for clarification.
"Jude would like to teach you some sign," Kurt said tentatively. His tone was cautious, as if he was worried about my reaction. He shouldn't have been.
"I would love that Jude," I replied and the boy clapped his hands happily. Soon enough we were in our own little world as he would point to an object on the table, show me the sign for it, and wait for me to repeat it back to him. A few times he had to take my hands to help my fingers make the right form, but by the time everyone was finished I had the words water, milk, plate, spoon, fork, cheese, bread, and thank you. Jude's eyes were bright as he praised each new word I managed and I found myself grinning and cheering along with his claps. I was the baby of my family and hadn't ever really interacted with small children before, but everything with Jude just came naturally. I was having a blast.
After the dinner, I insisted on helping Mrs. Hummel—Carole as she'd told me to call her—with the cleanup. When we were done, Kurt gathered a blanket—"so we don't have to sit on the dirty ground"—and we walked down to a nearby park where there would soon be a fireworks display.
It was a perfect evening for fireworks, warm but not too humid and the sky was so clear. It wasn't quite dark yet and Jude decided he wanted to play on the monkey bars with me, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the playground. I turned to Kurt as his son tugged my arm impatiently and he just smirked at me.
"You two go ahead, last time I ended up splitting my pants doing a flip," he chuckled, eyes twinkling.
"Tragic," I drawled, grinning. I shook my head and scooped Jude in my arms, running full force to the equipment and spinning him around. His little body was shaking with silent laughter and I found myself laughing out loud with him.
The sky was almost completely dark before we headed back. I had Jude on my shoulders, him using my hair like horses reigns to steer my in a zigzag path to the blanket where his family was sitting. The park was quite crowded by then, and I had to watch myself to keep from accidently stepping on someone. We reached our spot and I flipped Jude from his perch in a move we'd been practicing to show off to his family.
"Tada!" I exclaimed while Jude bowed and curtsied to Kurt's applause.
"Alright, boys, let's settle down. They're about to start the show," Mr. Hummel said with a smile. He and Carole were sitting close, hands intertwined. Jude ran over and plopped into Carole's lap snuggling close as his grandfather ruffled his curls. Kurt was in the middle of the blanket leaned back on his elbows so I sat on the empty spot next to him and assumed the same posture.
"Have fun?" he asked me with a grin. I could still see the amusement in his eyes despite the darkness surrounding us. I laughed quietly and nodded.
"I haven't played on monkey bars since the fourth grade," I confessed to him. He looked shocked.
"What a sad childhood you must have had," he scoffed. My smile lessened. He didn't know how right he was.
Before I could respond, the first firework of the show lit up the night sky, diverting both of our attentions. I'd always loved to watch fireworks shows when I was younger and the country club my parents belonged to always did an amazing job. After I came out my father refused to let me go the club at all. I hadn't actually done more than set off a few roman candles and bottle rockets with my friends in years.
About twenty minutes into the show, I caught movement from the corner of my eye and turned to see Kurt's parents getting up, a completely zonked out Jude in Carole's arms.
"We're heading back to the house, boys," Mr. Hummel spoke quietly. Kurt smiled lovingly at his sleeping child. "Don't forget to bring the blanket when you come home."
And for the first time since that morning, Kurt and I were alone. Our eyes met and for a long moment we simply stared at one another. The resounding boom of a huge firework startled us both and his eyes turned skywards again.
"Beautiful," he whispered.
"Yeah," I replied, staring at his profile in the red and blue glow. He turned back to me, noticing my gaze. Even in the dark I could see his face flush.
I didn't know if I'd get another chance to do it before I left, so I decided to go for it. I leaned towards him slowly, giving him time to turn away if he chose to. Thankfully, he didn't. Another firework went up but neither of us noticed, we were too intent on each other. After what felt like forever, but couldn't have been more than ten seconds, our lips met.
Wow.
Fireworks.
Comments
I can't even with those last two words. Can you say perfect ending to a chapter! I'm so in love with this story right now. Watching everything progress is amazing. And the frequent updates are great. Keep it up!!
Oh god, I start this story yesterday night and can't stop reading, and I fell asleep onto the laptop!!! It's awesome!!!
This is unbelievabley beautiful. I adore Jude, I love him!!!! And the family and friends are just LOVE! I can't wait for more!! X
I love this!!!!
YAY!!! They are so damnable CUTE!! I can just se this becoming a happy little Hummel-Anderson familyyy!
I don't fangirl, but I just squeeled and clapped. I blame you.