June 3, 2012, 12:34 p.m.
Mad World: Chapter 16
T - Words: 2,230 - Last Updated: Jun 03, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 22/22 - Created: Mar 13, 2012 - Updated: Jun 03, 2012 1,172 0 0 0 0
That night, after coming home, Kurt couldn’t believe everything that had happened. He had stayed at Blaine’s house for a long time, both boys simply talking and trying to get to know each other as much as possible. It seemed that when Kurt was together with Blaine, the whole world stopped leaving them both locked in some kind of a magical bubble that would keep them safe and protected. Unfortunately their bubble was broken when Burt texted Kurt, asking where he was. That was Kurt’s cue to leave, because he had left without a warning and the answer I’m at Blaine’s probably wouldn’t make his father worry any less.
Once at home Kurt of course had had to answer dad’s questions about his day. Burt’s eyes had suspiciously narrowed when Kurt had mentioned spending the afternoon with Blaine.
“Did something happened, Kurt? Do I have to talk to this boy?” he had asked in a calm voice, apparently trying to maintain the inner peace and not upset himself and his son.
“No, no, dad!” Kurt had exclaimed. “Everything’s fine… Perfect actually,” he had added quietly, vague smile appearing on his lips.
That hadn’t eased the doubts in Burt’s face as he kept studying Kurt’s face. “So I guess you talked,” he had stated after a moment.
“Yeah, we did. Blaine explained me everything and he really had a reason, dad. I forgave him.”
“And so, he’s your boyfriend now or something?” Burt had asked, no trace of excitement visible in his voice.
After hearing this Kurt’s eyes had turned to the floor, a look of uncertainty was all over his face.
“He… we never talked about this, but… I guess we could be,” Kurt had smiled and looked at his father once again.
With that their conversation had ended and now Kurt was lying in his bed, staring at the ceilings and letting his mind wonder over last events. Not long after that his thoughts were distracted as his phone buzzed when a new message arrived. That started a long conversation with Blaine who apparently was feeling lonely being all alone in the now empty and quiet house.
Both boys spend half of their night chatting online, continuing their previously started conversation. It had ended only shortly after 3 am, when Blaine wasn’t replying for numerous minutes. Kurt decided that he had probably fallen asleep in front of the computer, so he quickly typed Sweet dreams and got under the covers himself.
***
January run so quickly that none of the boys even noticed it. After the winter holidays school started once again with full force not leaving them with a lot of free time on their hands. During the week days Kurt and Blaine mostly talked through Skype, spending their evenings at the computer screens doing homework together and telling about each other’s days afterwards.
On the first Saturday night after the school had started Kurt went to Westreville and listened to Blaine’s performance in the coffee shop that had become so familiar to him. Shannon had already memorized his coffee order and now simply handed Kurt „his regular” whenever he showed up. Blaine had tried to persuade Kurt to sing something, but the boy wasn’t giving up so easily this time. Apparently Kurt had caught some virus and his throat was a bit sore, and even Blaine’s puppy eyes hadn’t changed his mind.
Something more had changed in their lives. Blaine started to come home on weekends. He said he couldn’t let Kurt drive all the way to Westerville and back when he could just come to Lima and spent together whole weekend instead of just one night. Kurt could sense that Blaine still wasn’t feeling very comfortable about being around his parents this much after all the time of absance, but the older boy tried very hard to not let this influence him or Kurt.
Blaine’s weekend changes pleased Elise who was excited to spent more time with her brother. Of course, she understood Blaine’s wanting to stay in Dalton, but she couldn’t hide her happiness each Friday night when Blaine arrived, sometimes even bringing Kurt with him.
That was one more thing that had changed since the moment Kurt and Blaine became boyfriends. Blaine slowly became more and more open about his relationship with Kurt. He didn’t introduce the younger boy to his parents as a “friend” anymore.
“It’s nice that you’ve brought your friend over, Blaine,” Mrs. Anderson had said the first Friday night when Blaine had walked through the front door holding Kurt’s hand. She, of course, had completely ignored this fact and had kept smiling, maintaining her perfect mother façade.
“Kurt’s my boyfriend,” Blaine had simply stated looking straight into his mother’s eyes.
Kurt had kept quiet during the whole scene in front of him, feeling obviously uncomfortable and slightly bemused. After Blaine’s short word exchange with his mother, he had let the older boy lead him up the stairs to his bedroom. Other times when Kurt came over Mrs. Anderson didn’t come to greet them anymore.
As much as Kurt loved to be showed off and loved hearing Blaine call him “his boyfriend”, he also understood that somewhere deep down the older boy was hurt by his parent’s actions. He couldn’t help seeing Blaine’s daring and sometimes provoking attitude as a silent cry for attention from the people who should be the closest to him.
***
On one such Friday night Kurt was comfortably sitting on Blaine’s bed and looking down at the other boy who was sitting on the floor and quietly strumming an acoustic guitar. After a few days Blaine had to leave for his audition in New York, but he still hadn’t found the right song. This struggle was annoying Blaine more and more with every passing minute. Kurt had tried to help as much as he could, but nothing seemed to be good enough.
“Well, you’ll also have an interview afterwards,” Kurt tried to lift up Blaine’s spirit.
“It’s a music school, Kurt,” Blaine answered throwing the younger boy clearly unimpressed look. “Singing is the important part here.”
Kurt looked at the floor. Of course he knew all of that and he also understood that Blaine was stressed out. But his boyfriend’s attitude towards him still hurt a bit.
“Ahhh!” Blaine forcefully pushed the guitar away from his lap and rubbed his forehead. Kurt slid out of the bed and carefully sat next to the boy, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Maybe you should relax?” he spoke concernedly. ”You’ve been sitting here for almost two hours.”
“I don’t have a lot of time, Kurt,” Blaine responded letting his head fall down in his hands. “I just need one song,” he sighed.
Kurt observed Blaine. The older boy looked pitiful. Of course Kurt knew how important it was to choose a good audition song, but he also didn’t want to see Blaine so miserable.
“You always say that it’s the best to choose a song that simply feels right. Try to listen to yourself. Don’t think about the school, the jury and the points. Only about your own feelings.”
Blaine was quiet for a moment. “God, I’m going to fail!” he exclaimed.
“You need a break!” Kurt suddenly said getting up to his feet and pulling Blaine along. “Come on, lay down and clear your mind for a moment.”
Blaine unwillingly climbed on his bed and lied down. Kurt settled in next to him and gently pressed his lips to the older boy’s. When he started to pull away, Blaine suddenly put his hand on the back of Kurt’s neck, bringing him down once again.
“I could really use this kind of relaxation,” Blaine muttered, smiling against his boyfriend’s lips and eagerly kissing him again.
Kurt moaned softly, responding to the kiss, as Blaine’s hand slid into his hair. When they parted to breathe in, Kurt carefully slid out of the other boy’s grip and rested his head on one of the pillows.
“Hey!” Blaine protested and turned on his side to face Kurt, “I wasn’t done yet!”
“I don’t want to get too carried away, Blaine,” the younger boy explained, brushing hair out of Blaine’s eyes. “We’re not alone after all.”
“My parents definitely won’t come here. And besides, I have to make up to you for being away on the Valentine’s Day.”
“Your parents are still at home, so that’s a no! And about Valentine’s Day, as much as I regret your absence, I understand that you must go,” Kurt kissed Blaine’s cheek as he said it. “And it’s going to be much harder once you leave for university,” he unsurely whispered against Blaine’s shoulder.
That immediately made his boyfriend rise from his spot on the bed and looks straight into Kurt’s eyes.
“Hey, where did that come from?” he asked, stroking Kurt’s cheek. “Don’t rush ahead of the events. We don’t know how this New York thing will work out; and, if I’ll go, it doesn’t mean the end for us.” Blaine was still looking right into Kurt’s eyes, as to make sure that the boy understood every single word and the meaning behind them.
Kurt didn’t answer. Instead he just kept looking at the boy in front of him in slight disbelief. Sure, he wanted this relationship to last. Even the smallest thought of a possible break – up created an unbearable stinging in his chest. But hearing Blaine say all these things… hearing that he actually wanted them to stay together no matter how the future might turn out…
“I care about you too much, to simply let you go,” Blaine whispered and gently kissed Kurt one more time.
“I care about you, too,” Kurt whispered back, his eyes still closed after the kiss.
“I think I’ve got and idea about the song,” Blaine suddenly said getting out of the bed and picking up the guitar. Kurt also rose to sitting position and followed the other boy’s movements with an interest.
“I’m not sure if it’s my final choice, but at least it’s something to begin with,” Blaine explained and started to strum his guitar.
You cannot quit me so quickly
There’s no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I’ve got all the time for you, love
Blaine’s soft voice and guitar sound filled the room. Kurt didn’t recognize the melody as listened more carefully trying to understand the lyrics.
The space between the tears we cry
It’s the laugh that keeps us coming back for more
The space between our wicked lies is
Where we hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like, will it rain today?
We waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we’re playing
Blaine’s voice got lower for a minute, even a bit angry, but Kurt just kept listening, unable to turn away from the boy in front of him. Each time Blaine performed, the younger boy felt like he had a privilege to watch something so personal, that it shouldn’t be seen by others, but at the same time Blaine’s passion and emotions never failed to leave him in awe.
We’re strange allies with warring hearts
What a wild-eyed beast you’ll be
The space between our wicked lies is
Where we hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
But will I hold?
Look at us spinning off in the madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like the Devil in a church
In the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love is hope we don’t take this ship down
But the space between where you’re smiling high
Is where you’ll find me if I get to go
The space between the bullets in our firefight
Is where I’ll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls, splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into your room
The space between our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand ‘cause we’re walking out of here
Right out, right out of here, love is all we need, dear
The space between what’s wrong and right
Is where you’ll find me hiding, waiting for you
The space between your heart and mine
Is the space we’ll fill with time
The space between
Blaine quietly finished the song, letting the last chord ring in the room. He didn’t look up, not averting his eyes from the worn guitar stings.
Kurt didn’t dare to break the silence, wondering if this song had some deeper meaning than just a shot at scholarship. And somewhere deep down Blaine was wondering if he had just confessed his love for Kurt.