Author's Note:

Thank you to everyone who graciously offered their ideas for Summaries! It means a lot and was so interesting/inspiring to read everyone's perspectives and interpretations of my story! You guys/gals are wonderful.

After long deliberation, the summary that I've chosen was written by: Somewhat-Domesticated-Fangirl:

"Not everything is as it seems at McKinley High. Blaine Anderson is a football player with a tough exterior and a secret that only Kurt Hummel can truly understand. When Blaine vanishes from school without a trace, Kurt must find exactly what Blaine is hiding underneath his mask."

Thank you ALL for your submissions! They were equally wonderful - it was extremely difficult to choose only one!

Also a big thank-you to all of you for your continued patience between updates. You are all beautiful.

XOXOXO

-Ryleigh Hayle

Find me on Twitter: Ryleigh_Hayle

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I would love for you to add me and help me share my stories!

Check out Blaine's journal on Tumblr: .com

*** TRIGGER WARNING ***

This chapter contains depictions of violence, coarse language and non-consensual sexual acts.

~~~ This story is rated 'R'. ~~~

Viewer discretion is STRONGLY advised…

Chapter 28 Part One

"What's your favourite food?"

Blaine glanced up from his work with a raised eyebrow and flashed Kurt a curious look.

Kurt grinned.

"I mean it, B." He replied nonchalantly. "I mean… I've never heard you complain about any of the food we've had since you've come to live with us, but I wanted to know if there was anything specific that you really like."

Then he added with a devious smirk and a wink, "Besides peanut butter."

Blaine's cheeks and ears flushed bright pink and his head dropped slightly as he looked back down at the table shyly.

Kurt didn't miss the tiny grin that appeared on the boy's handsome face.

"Aww…" Kurt cooed melodically, "Don't be shy…"

Blaine turned an even darker shade of pink.

He finally shrugged bashfully before looking up at where Kurt sat across from him at the kitchen table with several textbooks open in front of him.

"I…dunno." He whispered, barely able to make eye contact.

Kurt grinned once again. He loved it when 'shy Blaine' resurfaced.

The past few weeks had been a bit of a rollercoaster. Blaine was finally settling into the Hudmel household and he was nearly caught up with his schoolwork after his teachers had agreed to allow him to finish the semester at home.

He was also several sessions into his physiotherapy with Marie, which seemed to be going better after a few minor setbacks in the beginning. The therapist came to work with Blaine several times a week, which led to more mobility and strength in his shoulder, but also allowed him an opportunity to grow accustomed to other people coming over to the house.

While he still had what he dubbed 'bad days', where he wished nothing more than to stay in his room for hours at a time without interruption, it was obvious that Blaine was on the mend both physically and emotionally.

Kurt knew that after everything he'd endured, he would likely never be 'the old Blaine' again, but he could tell by the sparkle in the boy's eye that he was getting closer and closer every day.

He smiled at the younger teen and allowed his eyes to fall back onto the assignment he'd been working on before he heard Blaine draw in a long, deep breath.

This was the noise Blaine made when he was about to speak.

Kurt forced himself to keep his head down, giving Blaine as much time as he needed to gather his words. Sometimes it took several minutes, other times it seemed as though the teen only required a few seconds to force the words from his lips. Occasionally, on the 'bad days', Blaine would give up all together and the words never would come.

But today they came.

"I-I like…ummm… sushi."

Kurt's head popped up in surprise.

Really?

Didn't see that coming.

"Sushi!" He replied with a wide, toothless grin. "Me too! But we never get to have it because my dad thinks it's disgusting!"

Blaine's face split into a genuine smile of his own. His hazel eyes sparkled in the sunlight filtering in from the window above the kitchen sink.

"I'm not kidding!" Kurt continued cheerfully. "I think he figures it's all raw fish or something nasty."

Blaine giggled and looked down at the table shyly.

"Sushi." Kurt confirmed with a grin. "We shall definitely have to have sushi one day."

He watched as Blaine picked up his orange pencil crayon and continued working feverishly on his project. It was a mandala. Kurt had done some research and learned that coloring the artistic patterns often created a sense of peace and tranquility. He'd printed some that afternoon in the school library and brought them home for Blaine, who'd seemed enthusiastic to have a new project to work on.

A smile crept onto Kurt's face as he saw Blaine tilt his head to the side slightly and poke his tongue out the side of his lips.

He was obviously focused fully on his task, not unlike the moment only a few weeks ago when he was delicately sprinkling sugar on the peanut butter cookies he'd baked.

"What's your favourite color?"

Blaine looked up again. His eyebrows furrowed just slightly at the randomness of Kurt's questions.

He thought for a moment, glancing down at his picture before looking up at Kurt with an innocent shrug.

"I like orange and blue together, but I'd never wear them. And I think green is great for the planet."

Kurt's eyebrows shot up captivatedly. That was the longest sentence Blaine had strung together in several days, and he'd barely even stuttered.

If he was being honest, there was a specific reason behind Kurt's random questions. He'd been doing some research and had been looking for ideas to help Blaine feel more comfortable speaking.

It was obviously working.

"I'm glad you have some fashion sense inside that curly little head of yours." Kurt replied with a chuckle.

Blaine grinned, and glanced down again at his page thoughtfully for several seconds before pulling in another breath.

"What… um… d-do you have favourite colors?"

He cursed himself the moment the words left his mouth.

Duh.

Of course he does.

Everyone has a favourite color.

What a stupid…

"Light blue." Kurt replied knowingly, interrupting the flood of negativity racing through Blaine's mind. "I like light blue the best."

Blaine nodded, thankful that Kurt had answered so promptly. He was just about to return to his art project when Kurt spoke up yet again.

"What about pizza?"

Blaine couldn't help the look of bewilderment that crossed his face. His thick, dark eyebrows furrowed on his forehead in a triangular shape not dissimilar to the collection of interlocking ones on his mandala.

Pizza?

"What's your favourite kind of pizza?" Kurt reiterated, tapping his pencil on the open page of his green history textbook.

Blaine thought for a moment. He wasn't very fond of extravagant pizzas filled with weird things like olives, tomatoes, or heaven forbid anchovies.

"Hawaiian?" It sounded more like a question than an answer.

"Good choice, good choice." Kurt clucked approvingly. "How about barbeque chicken?"

Blaine grinned and nodded excitedly.

He'd forgotten about that one.

Kurt continued asking Blaine random questions, each becoming increasingly more absurd, but each one caused a whole new fit of giggles as more and more words tumbled out of Blaine's mouth.

His plan was working.

"Ice cream?"

"Ummm… I like… vanilla with chocolate sauce." Blaine answered quickly. "…and cherries and peanuts and bananas."

Kurt snorted.

"How about you?" Blaine asked, glancing up from his finished project. It was an intricately designed pattern contained within a large circle with lines overlapping and wrapping around each other; each carefully filled in with Blaine's orange and blue crayons.

"Hmmm…" Kurt considered for a moment, without looking up from his assignment. "As unhealthy as it is, I don't choose to eat much ice cream, but if I had to eat it, I would choose pistachio, because I love nuts."

His eyes widened immediately the moment the words had left his mouth. He kept his face downcast, pretended to continue reading his text, and prayed to anyone who would listen that Blaine hadn't caught the awkward remark.

Blaine had definitely caught it.

The shorter teen bit his lip, trying with all his strength to prevent a snort or a snarky comment from escaping his lips as he looked down at his own finished project with a knowing smile.

Kurt sighed as he scrolled past another annoying popup ad on his laptop.

He'd occupied himself by doing research for most of the afternoon while Blaine was busy with Marie doing his physio exercises for the last time before Christmas.

Rape.

He hated the word.

The way it tasted on his tongue.

The horrible images it summoned to his brain.

He'd put it off for long enough. He knew that if he was going to be able to help Blaine, he would have to suck it up and do the research.

He clicked on another link.

It's not your fault: How to cope after being sexually assaulted.

Kurt quickly closed the page and let out a frustrated breath.

He had not been raped.

Blaine had.

He shouldn't be upset and having nightmares about this stuff. Nothing had even happened to him.

Not like Blaine.

Kurt shuddered and opened a new page.

Helping her cope.

This frustrated Kurt to no end. The majority of the pages he'd opened were specifically directed at female victims. He'd found it difficult to find information designed for males who'd been assaulted.

Apparently only 1 in 33 males were raped, as opposed to 1 in 6 females.

Still, the numbers staggered Kurt.

That many people had been abused and forced into horrific acts against their will.

Like Blaine.

He was a statistic.

He sighed and clicked on a new link.

How to help someone heal after a rape.

Kurt frowned.

A rape?

Is that… even… how you say that?

He shrugged before continuing down the page.

"Self-blame is common among rape victims. Rape victims tend to feel as though they are somehow responsible for the rape. It's not true - the only person responsible for the sexual assault is the person who committed the rape."

He shuddered.

The person…

The monster.

Kurt quickly closed out of the page and opened up a new link.

How to treat him after a sexual assault.

This looks more promising.

Kurt read several pages about treating the victim with respect and allowing them to keep as much dignity as possible. He even found an article that suggested treating the victim no differently than you would have prior to the attack, as not to draw attention to them, or make them feel like you see them differently.

He found several pages that outlined potential emotional reactions from rape victims.

Anger, denial, anxiety, confusion, humiliation, fear, depression, shame, guilt.

As he read each word, another memory of Blaine popped into his mind.

He recognized all of these.

Blaine had been experiencing all of these feelings.

Kurt gulped and continued reading, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, humming like a stream of electricity flowing over his entire body.

"It may take quite some time for him to rebuild trust in other people. Being the victim of a rape shatters his sense of trust and it's not something easily rebuilt - like anything else, it takes time."

Gut-wrenching memories of Blaine fearfully shying away from himself and his father hit Kurt like a black wave of anguish.

He'd been so afraid.

So scared to let anyone touch him.

He remembered the day Burt had caught Blaine in Kurt's bed. How he'd angrily torn the injured boy out from underneath the blanket and thrown him to the floor.

Burt hadn't known about Blaine then.

He didn't know what the boy had been going through at that point.

Nobody did.

Kurt shook himself to clear the horrible memory from his mind and quickly glanced behind him to make sure no one had entered the kitchen before he continued reading.

"Part of healing from a rape or sexual assault involves regaining feelings of control over his environment. In addition to all of the other complicated feelings after a rape, feeling out of control is not uncommon. The rape took away his control - he must fight to bring it back. Rebuilding feelings of safety, trust, control and self-worth can take quite a long time – and that is okay."

Kurt nodded absently.

Control.

Blaine needed control.

He thought back to the many times he and his family had allowed Blaine to choose for himself, whether it be something simple like picking a meal or a movie, or something more complex, like his haircut, or starting physiotherapy.

Blaine needed to make those decisions for himself.

They were on the right track.

Just as he was about to clear his browsing history and close out of the screen, a bolded sentence caught Kurt's eye.

Don't think of him as a victim, think of him as a survivor.

A survivor.

Blaine wasn't a victim, he was a survivor.

He'd survived getting beaten to a pulp in middle school after that dance.

He'd survived living with an asshole father and a mother who didn't give a damn.

He'd survived… everything at that motel.

He'd survived.

Blaine had come through it all.

Sure, he'd been knocked down, kicked and beaten, but he'd climbed back up to his feet every single time.

He was a fighter.

A survivor.

A shiver snaked its way up Kurt's spine as he wiped away a tear that had somehow found its way down his cheek.

My Blaine is a survivor.

With a renewed sense of pride, Kurt erased his browsing history, closed his laptop and set off to the living room to help his friend finish his physiotherapy for the day.

Cold hands.

Fat, calloused fingers gripping his chin, trying to pry open his mouth.

"Open up, you filthy little bitch."

Pain exploded behind his eyes as the butt of a pistol slammed into his temple.

"You fucking bite me and I will end you."

Screams.

Were they his own?

He couldn't remember trying to scream.

He couldn't remember anything.

Everything was fuzzy and hazy and… wrong.

There was ringing in his ears.

It made him dizzy.

Was that from the blow to the head?

No… it was the gun.

The gun.

Had it gone off?

Nothing made sense.

Everything was loud.

Someone was crying.

There was so much blood.

He could taste it.

Coppery and slick.

It was in his mouth.

Lights flashed.

Or was he going in and out of consciousness?

Pain.

So much pain.

Everything hurt.

Cries.

Screams.

Blood.

Why was this happening?

Why was no one coming to help?

Cries.

Screams.

Blood.

We need help.

No… we needed help.

It's too late now.

It's too late.

A wave of nausea flooded his veins.

He's gone.

He's dead.

He killed Blaine.

Blaine woke up suddenly as Kurt's left arm swung out and connected with his hip unexpectedly.

He blinked the sleep from his eyes several times before squinting at the clock on the nightstand by the bed.

3:23am

He sighed, sat up in bed, carefully avoiding Kurt's frantically thrashing arms.

This was a particularly bad one.

Kurt's eyes were scrunched up in a combination of fear and pain, and drops of sweat were beaded on his pale face, illuminated only by the dim moonlight streaking in from the slots between the curtains.

A series of whimpers and desperate whines seeped out from Kurt's lips, making him sound like a young child searching for his mother.

A mother who could never come.

Blaine frowned.

He'd witnessed Kurt having similar nightmares almost every night in the past few weeks, but this one seemed somehow worse.

Even as he slept, he looked positively terrified.

Blaine reached out his hand and nudged Kurt's shoulder gently. Sometimes even a gentle touch was enough to chase away the nightmares and allow his friend to sink back into the mattress and fall back asleep.

Not tonight.

Kurt recoiled at the touch, and a pained gasp echoed through the bedroom.

Blaine's heart shattered.

"K-Kurt?" he whispered, carefully nudging the teen again.

Blaine's blood turned to ice as Kurt's lips slipped open and a string of pitiful apologies began to tumble out.

"imsorryimsosorrypleasepleaseimsorrypleasestopimso sorry"

Several tears slipped down Blaine's face.

I need to wake him up.

He started to reach out towards the trembling boy on the bed next to him, but hesitated.

What do I do if he freaks out?

How am I going to bring him back?

Blaine closed his eyes momentarily, gathering the strength and courage he would need to help his friend, and closed the gap between himself and Kurt.

"K-Kurt?" He stuttered as his own trembling fingers made contact with the taller teen's shoulder. "P-please… p-please w-w-wake up."

Blaine cursed his inability to force the words out with more potency. Now was not the time for him to get stuck. Kurt needed him.

He grimaced and tried again.

"K-Kurt?" His voice was slightly louder now. "Kurt… p-please?"

Nothing.

Kurt's entire frame quavered next to him.

Blaine looked around the room.

Should I go get Carole?

He looked back at Kurt, who'd pulled his knees up to his chest, curling himself into a tight ball.

I can't leave him alone.

Blaine thought for a moment before making a decision.

A big one.

He pulled the sling off his left shoulder and tossed it onto the floor next to the bed.

He'd need both hands for this.

Carefully and slowly, Blaine reached across Kurt's torso and gathered him into his arms. He gently dragged the boy's shuddering body, a dead weight, into his lap and allowed Kurt to dozily wrap his arms around his middle.

The whimpers and whines immediately ceased, replaced instead by a host of sobs and soft cries.

"I-It's okay." Blaine whispered softly, trying in vain to stay composed. He sniffled and blinked away a tear as he readjusted Kurt in his arms before gently bringing his right hand up and allowing his fingers to comb through the teen's soft golden hair.

"I'm h-here." He wept. "I'm here… a-and I'm n-not g-g-g-g-going anywhere."

Blaine pressed his eyes closed in frustration, forcing several new tears to cascade down his cheeks against his will.

I need to be brave.

He needs me.

Blaine sucked in a deep breath and practiced his words inside the safety of his own mind.

He knew exactly what he wanted to say.

He wanted to ask Kurt to wake up, to tell him he's safe.

He wanted to promise Kurt that he wasn't alone.

There were so many things that he wanted to say.

That he needed to say.

So many words.

So many promises.

"P-p-please…"

A sound eerily similar to a growl bubbled inside of Blaine's throat.

It was so frustrating.

He just needed Kurt to hear him.

"K-Kurt." He tried again, this time leaving his eyes closed. Maybe if he focused harder…

"C-can y-you h-hear m-m-me?"

Kurt's sobs continued.

Blaine couldn't tell if the other teen was still drifting in the midst of his nightmare, or if he was just so exhausted from fighting.

His body remained limp in Blaine's arms.

"Kurt?"

Finally, Blaine felt the boy stir just slightly.

His chest ached.

Did this mean Kurt could hear him?

Would he respond?

Would he come back?

"K-Kurt?" He asked again. "C-Can you hear m-me?"

A nod.

A tiny little nod that Blaine may have not even noticed if not for the way he'd been holding Kurt's head in his chest.

Relief flooded through him.

Salty tears continued to stream down Blaine's cheeks as he pulled Kurt's body into his own. He could still feel the shudders that wracked Kurt's thin frame.

Very thin.

Blaine grimaced.

When did Kurt get so thin?

Has he not been eating?

How did I not notice…?

He continued to run his fingers softly through Kurt's silky hair.

I'm here.

You're safe.

I won't let go.

I'm here.

It's going to be okay now.

I'm…

Blaine entire body went rigid as he suddenly realized that his comforting words were only echoing along the inside of his own head.

He wasn't even saying them aloud.

He sucked in a pained breath and squeezed his eyes closed, desperate to force the words from his mouth.

Silence.

Only soft sputters and cries mixed with frustrated whimpers slipped from Blaine's trembling lips.

He re-opened his eyes and scanned around the bedroom, but everything was blurry and distorted through his tears.

What do I do?

Kurt needs help.

He's so scared.

Blaine gulped down the heavy lump that had been residing in his throat and pulled Kurt tighter into his arms.

"K-Kurt?"

No response.

He carefully lifted Kurt into a semi-sitting position and his heart broke when he discovered that the boy still had his eyes clenched tightly closed.

"C-can y-y-you open…" Blaine had to stop and suck in another staggered breath before continuing with a look of sheer determination. "…O-open your eyes f-for m-me?"

Beside him, Kurt drew in a sharp gasp and flinched away, squeezing his eyes closed even tighter.

Blaine's heart immediately clenched at the sight.

Why won't he open his eyes?

He looks terrified.

He shook himself, mentally reminding himself not to ask that question again.

Blaine bit his lip as he considered his next move.

It was a risky one.

Especially with Kurt in his current state.

He was so fragile.

One wrong move and Blaine might inflict more damage than good.

He gulped and leaned forward, closing that gap between himself and his friend.

He had to try.

"I-I'm…I…ugh…" He struggled with the remainder of his explanation, so Blaine threw all caution to the wind and reached up, slowly taking Kurt's face into both of his trembling hands. When the teen didn't flinch, or pull away, Blaine continued to lean forward until his forehead pressed gently against Kurt's.

He closed his eyes and drew in a long, deep breath.

"B-breathe w-with me…" He instructed carefully, and then released the remainder of the air from his lungs slowly.

Blaine repeated the process several times, taking slow, deep breaths and coaching Kurt to do the same.

Within seconds, he could feel some of the tension drain from Kurt's exhausted frame and Blaine's heart skipped a beat.

It's working.

He carefully wrapped both of his arms around Kurt and pulled him in close, their foreheads still engaged in the most intimate of touches.

"I-I'm here." He whispered softly as a tear slipped down his cheek. The salty globe finally dropped onto Kurt's chin and continued its silent journey downward.

He felt Kurt's breaths even out next to him, and he sighed softly as he brought a hand up and ran it through the teen's hair once again.

After several minutes of this continued silent serenity, Blaine slowly pulled back from Kurt and reopened his eyes.

Even though his sobbing had ceased, his eyes remained closed and there were still several large tears sliding down Kurt's pale cheeks.

Blaine leaned back into Kurt slowly and pressed his lips to the bony prominence directly underneath his left eye.

The tear tasted salty on his lips, but Blaine allowed them to linger there for a second longer before pulling away slowly.

Very slowly.

Kurt remained motionless. Eyes still tightly clenched.

"K-Kurt?"

Blaine frowned dishearteningly at the hollow weakness of his voice. He admonished himself as he reached forward his arms and drew Kurt back into his broad chest.

Why couldn't he talk?

It was such an important time.

Kurt needed him.

More than anything, Blaine just wished he could open up his mouth and tell the boy in his arms just how important he truly was.

He wanted to tell Kurt that he wasn't alone.

That he'd stay with him and never let go.

He wanted to thank him for being so strong.

For holding him up.

Helping him fight.

Blaine wanted to tell Kurt that he didn't have to be afraid.

That he'd never leave him.

He'd stay forever if he could.

By his side… forever.

They could get through anything together.

Somehow, even after everything… Blaine believed it to be true.

They were stronger together. Braver.

They shared courage.

They could carry each other.

Through the darkness and through the pain.

Together.

He just wished there was some way for him to tell Kurt all of this.

He needed Kurt to hear the words.

But… wait…

Blaine's left eyebrow peaked on his bronze forehead as a brilliant new thought entered his mind.

He turned his head slowly, careful not to disturb the near-lifeless Kurt in his arms and saw that his phone was resting on the nightstand next to the bed.

Blaine delicately repositioned Kurt, holding him almost completely in his right arm and reached over slowly until his fingers made contact with the hard, plastic device.

"I…I'm…" Blaine frowned, trying courageously to force the words. "P-please… just… just… l-listen…"

He switched on the phone, located the music app, and scrolled through his playlists until he found the song he'd been searching for.

The perfect song.

He pressed PLAY and within seconds, a melodic guitar solo filled the silence.

Blaine closed his eyes, leaned into the body residing in his lap and listened carefully to the lyrics once they began, praying with all he was worth that Kurt would be able to hear them too.

Every harmonious word held so much courage and strength.

All I want now is to be with you

Cuz you know I have been everywhere else

Looking back at what you got me through

You knew me better than I knew myself

When I feel lost and I can't find my way

When words are at a loss I can hear you say

I will be by your side, when all hope has died

I will still be around oh and I, I'm still on your side

When everything's wrong, I will still be around

By your side

Finding my way back to where you are

The only place I ever felt at home

Stumbling backwards through the dark

I know how it feels to be alone

And where we go is where I wanna be

And in the silence I hear you say to me

I will be by your side, when all hope has died

I will still be around, oh and I, I'm still on your side

When everything's wrong, I will still be around

I can't wait another day, there's so much space between

Your heart and mine, but you're all that I need

You say I

I'll be by your side, when all hope has died

I will still be around, oh and I, I'm still on your side

When everything's wrong, I will still be around

By your side, by your side, by your side, by your side, by your side

Silence flooded the bedroom after the final note drifted away into the darkness.

Blaine sighed, pulling Kurt into a tighter embrace.

He reopened his eyes, blinking away the stray tears that had appeared without his permission.

He waited silently.

Hoping and praying for any sign that Kurt had heard the words of the song.

Nothing.

Blaine allowed his eyes to drift closed as he puffed out a defeated breath.

It didn't work.

Kurt never heard the words.

He didn't…

"P-please… don't go."

Blaine's eyes widened.

Kurt's voice sounded tiny, weak and timid.

But it was there.

He'd spoken.

"I'm here." Blaine said, his own voice suddenly much deeper, more confident.

Stronger.

Braver.

"I'll never leave."

~ Thanks for reading and reviewing. Your words inspire mine. ~

Blaine's song - "By Your Side" by Lifehouse