December 3

9:58pm

''Vanilla Twilight" by Owl City

Kurt is sitting at my desk doing homework.

He let me 'help' with his Biology assignment a little bit. It felt pretty good. I actually miss school.

Finn brought home a couple of assignments that Kurt's teachers gave him to catch up on. I hope he didn't get too far behind from staying home with me. Semester break is coming up right after Christmas. I don't want him to get so far behind that he struggles with his exams.

I don't know what will happen with me. Will I ever be able to go back to school? I've missed so much. I really miss the normalcy of it. I tried so hard to keep up with the lessons, but when... um... stuff... started happening, it got harder and harder to keep up my schedule.

I don't want to be held back another grade.

I'm already one behind from the last time I was in the hospital.

At this rate, I'll be eighty years old in my senior year.

I thought about school a lot today...

I wonder how much people... know.

Like... do the guys from football know what happened to me? What about the Warblers?

I know Nick said he'd keep things to himself, but I'm sure he told Jeff. He tells Jeff everything. Who else did he tell?

It makes me a bit nervous.

I don't know how I'll ever face everyone again. Even seeing Finn has been excruciating. The looks he gives me - I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know if he's angry, or revolted by me. It makes me feel like he hates me. Like I'm some disgusting monster that he doesn't even recognize.

I don't think I could handle it if everyone looked at me like that...