May 13, 2013, 8:27 a.m.
Like We Used To: Chapter 3
T - Words: 2,194 - Last Updated: May 13, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 13/? - Created: Apr 22, 2012 - Updated: May 13, 2013 965 0 0 0 0
I am completely and utterly humbled by all of the responses I've got for this fanfiction, it means a hell of a lot. :) I also would appreciate HONEST feedback from you on this chapter especially. Please don't be shy to criticize, it helps me improve my writing!
Kurt's POV:
So I’ve been in Lima for less than 3 hours and I’m already doing the grocery shopping. To be honest, I’d have done anything to leave that house of “How’s the world of fashion?” questions. Walking down the drive away from the house where my dad and Carole watched from a window was weird. They seemed like they genuinely missed me. I don’t know why I thought they wouldn’t, it just seemed unlikely. Carole had grabbed my suitcase as soon as I’d gotten out of the cab and dad waited at the front door, leaning against the frame. They hadn’t changed: neither had the house. It was odd, like the whole world had changed around this tiny spec of constant.
I’m staying in Lima for a few days because of the reunion. Usually it’s nice to come home and see my family, the place I grew up, and occasionally bump into teachers in the Lima Bean; but this time it’s different, tainted with the prospect of tomorrow night. Not just that though, I left James in charge of my design team. He has my personal number just in case, of course! I’m sure he can handle things. He nearly forced the woman at the airport to get him a ticket on my flight. Part of the reason I didn’t want him to come was this visit is something I have to do alone, but mainly because – even though he’s only an apprentice – James is the only person in that entire office block I’d trust with appliqué.
I start up my dad’s car and the radio begins to blast some kind of horrific commotion of guitars and percussion. I turn the dial until I find something half decent, but even that begins to annoy me. Silence seems the best option.
I allow my mind to drift in hopes of a distraction from the foreshadowing social gathering. Although, this is no use, as it is all I think about.
I found myself thinking about everything I’ve wanted to tell him since we broke up. I want to tell him how much I’ve missed him, how much it hurt that night 9 years ago. 9 years? I can’t believe it’s been so long. How can it still hurt this much? I keep asking myself why I haven’t moved on yet. I mean, I’ve tried the whole one-night-stand thing, but it just made me feel pathetic and desperate. Rachel was very supportive of my wallowing for a year or so, but I think it just annoys her now. She always used to say “I know I said you should take your time but this is getting ridiculous now!” To which my response would be an eye-roll or a deep sigh. She never had to go through what I did, not really. Everything worked out for her; married to her high-school sweetheart, show on Broadway. And me? Well, nothing worked out as planned.
Then a thought crept up on me, something I already knew but hadn’t processed yet: I’m going to have to see him tomorrow. Panic overwhelms me and I can’t see properly. I pull over in order to avoid death by dangerous driving. I switch on the hazard lights and pull my knees up to my chest. All that clouds my mind is how hard it is to breathe; not in the good way, like how my breathing stopped when he smiled. Oh god, that smile. How am I supposed to cope with that? I could hardly cope when I knew I could see it all the time. As I exhale loudly I realise just how tough tomorrow night is going to be.
I feel like I’m in a Twilight movie. Oh well, he might not even be there. The reunion is optional for the class of 2013. As this relieving yet horrible thought pops into my head, someone knocks on my driver’s side window. I lift my head and wind down my window, still staring out the windshield.
“Hello officer. Is everything alright?” I ask, wiping the puddles from my cheeks.
“Yes, are you alright Mr Hummel?”
Astounded at the sound of my name, I look out of the open window to see a lanky police officer clutching a notebook. My eyes travel up his slim yet proud posture, taking every inch in. When I finally see his face, I nearly gasp. Those cheekbones, that jaw line, those same green-blue eyes that caused so much pain in my life.
“Sebastian?”
He beamed back at me, happy to have been recognised I suppose. “Hey Kurt.”
Blaine's POV:
As Drew and I loaded up the car for our 2384 mile long journey to Lima, we conversed about our plans for the week ahead.
“So, tomorrow night is the big reunion. Saturday we’re having lunch with my family,” at Drew’s grimace I quickly added “Sorry, I couldn’t get out of that one. Sunday I’ll take you on a tour of Lima, and then we just have the rest of the week to hang out.” I fold up the list I’d been reading off and shoved it in the back pocket of my red chinos. Drew just smiles at the ground. “What?” I ask him.
“You. You’re just adorable.” He looks up at me from under his thick eyelashes, and I can’t help but blush. He places the suitcase he’d been holding into the boot of the car and walks over to me. Placing one hand on my shoulder and smoothing my curls away from my eyes with the other, he says more than could ever be said with words.
I smile and push my face into his hand, “Thank you.” I whisper as I lock eyes with him. I break away from him and finish loading the car. “Have we got everything?” I laugh. At this question, Drew turns quickly and runs back into the house, and I am left waiting by the car.
I close the boot of the car and lean against it, taking in my surroundings. I glance around the warm, quiet street and, even though I’ve lived here for a while, I only just notice how similar all the houses look. They’re all the same red brick with a front lawn and white wooden windows. The only thing that distinguished our house from the rest was the white path leading up to the now open door. As my eyes fall upon the door I see Drew leaving with a navy blue tin. From the look on my face, he must have realised I had no idea what he was carrying. When he finally stood before me he held out the tin and smiled, “The cookies I baked!” He chuckled as he walked to the passenger side door. I guess I’m driving then.
Kurt's POV:
“So, you’re a cop now?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the road.
“Yeah, my dad helped me get the job.” Sebastian had insisted on accompanying me on my early morning grocery mission. He deemed me ‘unable to drive in my current state’. So he’s driving. He kept talking, telling me some story about someone he arrested last week, but I just zone out. I can’t be bothered to hear another Sebastian ‘aren’t-I-fabulous’ story, I’ve heard too many of them when we were younger – when he was trying to impress my boyfriend. “...he just shouted ‘FU-“
“What are you doing here, Sebastian?” I cut him short. But by the look on his face he didn’t quite understand the question. So I rephrased it. “I mean, why are you doing this? We’ve never really been that close.”
He laughed at how much of an understatement that was. “I saw your dad’s car parked at the side of the road, and thought I’d check it out. I mean, your dad has never had car trouble on the road before.” He smiled. “But when I saw that there was no one outside of the car, but a slim figure hunched in the driver’s seat...I figured something was wrong. Then I saw you.” He glanced over to my surprised and nervous appearance and his expression turned serious. “Look, Kurt, I know we didn’t really get along in high school, but I’ve changed now. I’ve tried to make myself a better person. And part of me doing that is apologising to you, Kurt.” He sighs and shakes his head. He pulls into the grocery store car lot. When the car stops he switches off the engine and turns to me. “I was a jerk to you Kurt. I should never have made advances toward Blaine.” I flinch at the name, and I think Sebastian notices because he looks away. He removes the keys from the ignition and throws them softly my way. “I mean, it’s an awful lot like baking.” At my confusion he begins to elaborate. “I love making the mixture but always feel guilty eating the cake.”
I laugh at his analogy. “How strangely profound.” I look at him, “I forgive you, Sebastian. Yeah, you were a jerk.” I place one hand on his hand, still perfectly rested on the steering wheel. “But so was I. Don’t beat yourself up for what you did, because it got out of hand on both sides. Not just by your actions, but mine too.” I smile at him and he looks at our touching hands.
“Thank you Kurt. You’ve always been the better person. Blaine deserves you. How is he?”
I look down and remove my hand from his, “Umm, I wouldn’t know.” I can feel Sebastian’s eyes on my face. “He...we broke up. A year after I left McKinley.”
“Oh, god, Kurt I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said –“
“It’s okay, you didn’t know.” I cut him off, he shouldn’t have to apologise to me. He already had.
“C’mon, let’s get your groceries.” He smiled at me. And off we went, together.
Blaine's POV:
After a few hours of driving, it became my turn. We took the drive in shifts seeing as it was so long. We’ve been on the road for nearly 12 hours now, so naturally, we’re both exhausted. I look over to the passenger seat to see Drew sleeping angelically.Lucky for some, I thought. It’s nearing on 9pm now but we won’t reach Lima for another 12 hours. We decided not to stop at the service stations along the way so we could get there faster...but I’m now regretting that decision. I’m also regretting agreeing to do the overnight driving shift. At least I get to listen to my own music. Lucky for me, Drew is an insanely heavy sleeper, so I can play my Katy Perry compilation album without him waking up and changing it.
As the last notes of Mannequin drifted into the next song, tears filled my eyes – and not in the usual way Ms Perry brings me to tears.
You think I’m pretty without any make up on,
You think I’m funny when I tell the punch-line wrong,
I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down...
Oh god. This song! I haven’t heard this is 9 years...or, I should say, I haven’t been able to hear this in 9 years.
Before you met me, I was alright but
Things were kinda heavy you brought me to life,
Now every February you’ll be my Valentine, Valentine.
Let’s go all the way tonight, no regrets
Just love.
I can’t listen to this. Silence is better than this. So for the first time in my life, I turn off a Katy Perry song before the end.
That song just holds too many memories for me. So, without allowing myself to, my mind wanders over them. The time we first met at Dalton, the first time I realised I...loved him, and those nights we told each other our secrets over a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream that he’d never eat. It’s safe to say; those nights were the best moments of my life.
A loud snore from the seat next to me reminded me of the times I’ve spent with Drew. They were fun and all, but they always missed something. He loves me, I know that. He told me a year ago...but I’ve never been able to say it back. I’ve only ever lovedone person, and I was stupid enough to let him slip away. A single, uncontrolled tear rolled down my cheek.
At that moment the alarm went off on Drew’s phone, waking him with a start. I pulled over and we got out of the car to switch places.
“How was your shift?” Drew asked me as we met halfway round the car.
“It was good.” I replied, avoiding his gaze.
“You sure?” He came closer to me and put one hand on my shoulder – just as he had earlier, “Blaine, have you been crying?!”
“Yeah...damn Katy Perry songs.” I replied, only telling the half truth. Nothing about which Katy Perry song, or why it made me cry was uttered. But Drew believed that was all there was to it.
I move toward the passenger door and slide inside the car, clicking the door shut behind me. By the time Drew had reached the driver’s seat I was already pretending to sleep.
I heard him sigh and the engine restart: then nothing.
“Blaine!” Drew woke me. It took a moment, but I slowly realised it was light. “We’re here.”
I checked my watch 9:04am. “Why didn’t you wake me? I was supposed to take over driving.” I say sleepily.
“You just looked so cute...I couldn’t bear waking you.” Drew grinned. “C’mon, help me unload the car.”