Kurt lay back on his bed and thought. It was time he had control over this situation. It was time he decided what he wanted and what he was going to do about it. Now he knew Blaine was real it didn't seem right to him that he just lay back and let the boy (he was using that term lightly) run his hands and lips all over him. Even if it did feel good, very good. He needed to make some decisions, he needed to decide if he wanted a relationship like that. A relationship that was turning sexual, a relationship with a not quite human,a relationship with somebody who hardly told him anything.

The answer his heart gave him was a giant yes. But he needed to think it through more carefully, yes he was lonely but this was a very strange situation. But on the other hand Blaine was brilliant, he made him feel so safe and interesting and beautiful, they were things he'd never really felt about himself.

Kurt sighed out loud.

There was the sex.

If he wanted a less mysterious boyfriend (he was going to call him that now, in his own mind at least) he needed to have sex with him. The thing was that seemed like a good idea to him. He'd never been interested in sex, he wanted romance. But with Blaine, with Blaine he wanted both. He had imagined what it might be like, but his imaginings were simplistic, he didn't really understand what sex would be like and in his mind it was going to be beautiful and loving not what Blaine had described. A part of him knew it might hurt, he might bleed a little, it might be awkward, but he'd never actually thought about it.

He wished he had somebody to talk to about this. He wished he knew another gay boy. But as it was he had the internet which was okay at convincing him that his sexual awakening was nothing to freak out about and gave him the basics, a few porn videos that made him want to throw himself off a building and some confessions of gay teens who thought their first times sucked, not in the good way. He shut down the internet still with a lot of questions. There was only one person left to talk to. The one person he was always talked to when he wasn't sure about things.
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The sound of the drill going off and the clanking of metal was something that Kurt was familiar with, it was almost like a kind of music to him. A music of times spent together with his Dad slowly and gently being taught how to fix a car, even if he'd much rather have been at home reading vogue they were good memories.

"My dad still here Stu?"

"Yeah, hey I heard you got another singing thing coming up."

"Sectionals."

"Yeah, good luck with that."

"Does my Dad tell everybody about glee club?"

"Of course he does, he's proud of you. We all are, little thing like you always scared of getting grease on your cloths growing up all kinds of talented."

"You haven't heard me sing."

"Don't need to." Stu said with a smile.

"Thanks Stu. I'm going to go talk to my Dad. Say hi to Mindy and the girls for me."

Kurt worked his way thought the garage nodding at the workers he'd known most of his life. He saw his dad thought the little window to the office. He stopped for a moment to look at the little crinkle between his brows, his Dad hated paperwork.

"Kurt?" His Dad welcomed him with a happy smile when he opened the door.

"Hi Dad."

"I wasn't expecting you today. Do you need some work because it's been a slow day."

"No Dad. I need to talk."

Burt leaned backwards in his chair.

"Okay. What do you need to talk about?"

Kurt sat down and took a deep breath.

"Um.. how do you know if you're ready for a relationship?"

Burt stared at him for a long moment then sighed.

"Guess this was going to happen at some point. Whose the guy?"

"There's no guy Dad."

"You're getting good at lying to me lately."

"Okay, there's a guy. But it's nothing serious, he's just a really nice guy and he flirts with me."

"Does he go to McKinley?"

"No. He's.. he works at my favorite coffee shop, we talk during his breaks. Everyday for the last couple of weeks actually."

"Has this got anything to do with you're trouble at school?"

"No Dad."

"You've suddenly got a lot going on in your life that I didn't know about." Burt said looking slightly sad.

"I'm growing up Dad."

"I know. So, you want to date this boy?"

"Thinking about it."

"When you're ready you'll just know."

Kurt took a deep breath.

"What about sex?"

Burt froze followed by a deep breath and rubbing his hands over his head. Kurt felt his mouth go dry with nervousness.

"Kurt, you're old enogth to make you're own decisions. Sex can be a wonderful thing, when it's between two people who love each other. I know at your age you just want to rush, just want to know what it's all about. I know, I was your age too once. But it's worth waiting for the right person Kurt. Because if sex doesn't involve emotions then it can damage your self esteem, you may not realize it to begin with but it does something to you and you're worth more than that Kurt."

Kurt nodded.

"Thanks Dad, that was really helpful. It think it's what I need to hear."

"I'm really proud of you for coming to ask me Kurt, it shows me how mature you're being about this. Means I don;t have to worry about you when many years in the future you do meet somebody that you want to take that step with."

"Many years in the future?"

"Thirty at least."

Kurt gave a little laugh.

"Considering how few openly gay boys there are in Lima you'll probably get your wish."

"Hey, you're not going to be in Lima forever Kurt, and I believe that one day somebody special is going to walk into your life."

"Or fly." Kurt muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."
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He could do this, he was a seventeen year old boy. there was nothing wrong with what he was doing. It was normal, and the cashier might not notice. He walked carefully around the drug store picking up items he didn't really need. A magazine, some floss, then he went in for what he was really looking for, lube. Then he ran around for toothpaste, a spot cream he would never use, and a comb. Once he had decided it looked like enough in his basket for it to seem like he wasn't just there on a mission for personal lubricant he went to line up. The old lady in front of him smiled and he smiled back hoping she didn't notice what was in his basket.

His heartbeat speed up the closer to the cashier he was then it was his turn and the young man took his purchases out the basket one by one. Kurt flinched when he had to put the lube through twice a bored look on his face.

Kurt paid and walked out of the shop. He felt a moment of triumph.
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Okay, just relax. Kurt told himself. Though telling himself didn't exactly work. This was the first time he had tried anything like this. He tried to remember what he had read on the internet. He had picked a time when he wouldn't be disturbed, Finn was at Puck's and Burt was out with Carol meaning he had at least two hours. Plenty of time. The he started to stroke himself. When he was hard he pulled his knees up and spread them. He reached out for the bottle of lube and squeezed some onto his fingers. It felt cool and thick and sticky. With one had he stroked himself gently and then he circled his hole gently.

It didn't feel like much. Was he doing it wrong? Or was he in some way broken. No, he couldn't start panicking. He reached over with his none lubed hand and pressed play on his Ipod. Some music would calm him down.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to do this, he was gay, he had accepted he was gay. Didn't that mean at some point he would have to have something pushed inside of him? And meant to enjoy it. He took another deep breath, he was losing his hard on again through nerves.

Why was he doing this? Oh yeah, it was because he felt that he was falling too far behind his friends, he was a late bloomer, yes, but with Blaine it might get embarrassing and soon if he didn't know what to do.

Blaine, that gorgeous part of his body where his tight stomach muscles dipped down and made that sharp V. Then that member, thick and ...okay that worked. He wanted to know what this felt like. He circled the tight ring of muscle (he was so unfamiliar with his body) he tried pushing gently. It took a bit more force than he thought was going to be necessary. It stung slightly, he pushed his finger as deep into himself as he could. It felt okay, a bit tight, a little burning sensation but overall this was nothing to be scared of. He wiggled his finger around a little. Where the hell was the prostate meant to be? It didn't work,danm he wanted to know what that felt like. Perhaps one day it would be Blaine's finger, perhaps one day it would be another part of Blaine. Kurt gasped and his back arched his hand grasped at his dick and he brought himself to completion with the image of Blaine in his mind.
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"Hmmm." There was an appreciative moan and warm hands on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt nudged backwards until he felt a hot firm chest against his back.

"Cuddle me." He asked sleepily.

Strong arms encircled him, then legs were brought up to push against his and Kurt felt Blaine's warm stiff penis rest against the skin of his bare ass cheek. It was so close to what he was imagining earlier, Kurt felt his cheeks grow hot with the idea but he wasn't actually comfortable. It felt right. He was ready for this, he was ready for this kind of intimacy.

"Kurt."

"Yeah?"

"This feels really good, thank you."