April 30, 2012, 11:34 a.m.
Half Alive: Chapter 7
E - Words: 1,059 - Last Updated: Apr 30, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 15/? - Created: Feb 13, 2012 - Updated: Apr 30, 2012 865 0 1 0 0
Burt sighed. He was alone with his once again conscious son once again. Kurt had not looked at him the entire time he had been sat there by his bed. He had thought that maybe silence would be best. That maybe Kurt would open up if he was just given time and space. But after an hour of silence Burt felt he could no longer hold back the tears, he had to speak. He had to speak because he had to stay strong for Kurt and this silence was wearing him down.
"I.. I wanted to be the type of father you could come to with anything. I never really gave you enough attention when you were younger. I never let you know that I loved you just as you are. But these last few years, I thought we'd got to know each other a bit better. I thought that it was going to be you and me against the world Kurt. I guess this was just too much for you. We all have a breaking point Kurt; it's nothing to be ashamed of. I think.. all that bullying you went through. That would have broken me. You're a much stronger man than I am Kurt. Which is how I know you'll survive.. This."
Burt sighed and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. He couldn't talk about the attack. He could not deal with thinking that somebody would hurt his little boy like that. He knew that at some point in the last few days Kurt had been hurt and alone and frightened and he hadn't been there. He hadn't even noticed.
"I'll be here for you Kurt." He said tears starting down his face. "I love you Kurt, you know I always will and I am going to be with you through every step of this. You're going to stay here till you well and then we're going to get you counseling and we're going to talk to the police and whoever did this to you is going to be locked away and then we're going to get on with our lives. You're going to go to NYADA and you're going to get the life you deserve. Don't think this bastard has taken anything away from you Kurt because he hasn't."
Blaine felt numb. It was as if he had felt so much over the last twenty-four hours that he just could not feel anymore. He sat outside Kurt's room as Burt came out. Then Carol came went in holding Finn's shoulder as the tall boy looked about to throw up. When she came back out she shook her head to Burt. Blaine knew what she meant. Kurt was awake. But Kurt was not talking, not a word, to anybody.
Blaine knew what came next. Burt nodded at him telling him he could go in.
"You going to be okay Kid?"
"Yeah." Blaine managed to croak out.
Kurt's back was turned from him. He was curled up in on himself and did not move as Blaine entered the room. There were less machines beeping around him but it still seemed very scary to see Kurt here in a hospital room in the green gown he would usually be arguing about wearing because it was shapeless.
Blaine sat down on the plastic chair by the bed. He tried looking at Kurt but the way he wasn't moving, wasn't talking to him and wasn't even in a peaceful sleep was creepy. Blaine kept his distance; he did not want to touch the bed. Did not want to lay his hands on Kurt and make him freak out. Part of him simply didn't believe this was his boyfriend. The boy he loved would be smiling at him and flirting with him if they had been left in a room together this long.
He just did not know what to say and that made him feel inadequate. He was a bad boyfriend. Kurt deserved somebody who would know what to say. Who would know how to make things better or who wouldn't have allowed this to happen in the first place. Why had he not been able to protect the boy he loved?
"Kurt." He tried wondering if Kurt would just turn around and talk to him so he wouldn't have to think of what to say.
He didn't.
"You know I..."
He what? He was angry, so angry. But he could not tell Kurt that. No, Kurt had worse things on his mind to deal with than Blaine's emotions. It would be selfish to mention what he was feeling. He needed reassurance Burt had told him in the car on the way back to the hospital. Reassurance that they were all going to look after him and that they weren't angry at him and that everything would turn out alright. But Blaine didn't know if he could look after him, he didn't know what he was doing. And he was angry at Kurt, he loved him, he had thought that was enough in life for so long. Now Kurt had shown him it wasn't. And truthfully, Blaine felt as if nothing would ever be alright again.
"You know how Mr. Shue tried to get us to sin about our feelings. Well, we're not kids anymore. I think we both know that a song is not going to make everything alright again. But.. But i don't know what to say to you Kurt. I love you so much, I never want to lose you but I..." Blaine couldn't continue because the tears running down his face were practically blinding him. He started to singing in a shaky and halting voice.
"You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through"
Blaine sniffed and wiped at his nose with the back of his sleeve. He stood up and turned to leave.
"I'll come see you tomorrow Kurt."
He didn't notice the silent tears making there way down Kurt's face.