Kurt playfully tosses one of the display urns to Blaine, laughing. The grieving couple turns giving Kurt a look of contempt. Kurt drops his head, doing his best to control a giggling fit. Blaine and the worker share a look.

The boys continue to peruse the show room when they see it. A purple urn. Kurt stops first admiring the deep color, while Blaine is somehow magnetically drawn to it. This is the vessel that will carry his father’s remains for eternity.

Blaine hands the work the urn. The decision has been made. Blaine shares a look with her that can only be described as disbelief – He’s actually had fun.

“Just need your signature here and here. You can pick this up tomorrow after the procedure.”

Kurt and Blaine walk together under the shade of the oak trees outside the crematory. Blaine stops and turns to Kurt.

“Look, uh, I’m not sure I’m comfortable – I mean – I don’t know if know if this is the right time to be having fun.”

Kurt cocks his head to the side, eyes narrowing ever so slightly, taking in Blaine’s serious face before cracking up. Blaine looks to the right and left trying to figure out what’s so funny.

They are now sitting across from each other at the Lima Bean. Blaine is again wearing his “serious face.”

“I’m serious. I’ve got nothing but problems.”

“Alright, the let’s work through them. One at a time.” Kurt takes a sip of his coffee.

“Well, I think there’s only one problem and that’s everything!”

“Blaine. Come on, one at a time.”

“Well for starters, my dad’s dead! And we didn’t know each other… As adults. I was gonna make more of an effort… Next year.”

“But you’re dealing with it. Moving on.”

“My mom wants a cremation. They don’t even do cremations in Lima.”

“A problem that we just handled thirty minutes ago. That one is irrelevant.”

“There’s an expensive and god awful memorial coming up… Not that money is an issue…”

Kurt waves this supposed problem off. “It’ll all work out.”

“And I can’t make an attachment here,” he motions between the two of them. “Because I’ll just disappoint you in a very extreme way. So I feel like today is pretty much the sum total of us.”

The two men sit in silence for a moment, studying each other’s faces.

“You’re right. It is everything,” Kurt leans forward with a look of mock panic on his face. “It’s a complete disaster and you have no choice to give up completely.” He eases back into his chair. “But we do have tonight.”

Blaine looks at him. He is unwaveringly positive.

Moments later they are walking through the parking lot, arms linked together.

“You’re kind of great, Kurt. You always zig just when I think you’re about to zag. You’re almost amazing even.”

Kurt laughs a little. “Oh, please, I don’t need an ice cream cone.”

“It’s not an ice cream cone… Wait, what’s an ice cream cone?”

“You know, ‘here’s a little something sweet to make you feel better.’ Something that melts in five minutes. I don’t need you to say things you don’t mean. I’m completely cool with anything you want to say or not say.”

Blaine smiles. He likes the way Kurt thinks.

“Besides, Nick is coming in tomorrow to meet my dad.”

Blaine’s heart drops and his smile disappears as they reach Kurt’s car. Kurt leans against the driver’s side door.

“Would you like to hear my theory?”

“Why not?” He doesn’t want to play anymore. He wants to retreat to his hotel and disappear into self-loathing.

“We’re the Substitute People.”

Blaine knits his brows. Not sure what Kurt’s getting at.

“I’ve been the Substitute person my entire life. I’m not a Sebastian. I’ve never been a Sebastian and I’ll never be one. I like being alone too much. I’m with a guy who is ‘married’ to his work as an actor – I barely see him. I’m the Substitute Person there too. I like it that way. A lot less pressure.”

“I get it.”

“Until the real person shows up I’m a very, very good Substitute Person. But if we kiss… I mean really kiss I know that just being your Substitute Person won’t be enough anymore. ”

Kurt unlocks his car and rummages around in the back seat. He turns back to face Blaine, who can see the tears pooling in Kurt’s eyes. Blaine’s heart shatters.

“Give this to the loudest kid on the face of the Earth.” He shoves the tape into Blaine’s hand.

“I’m not used to guys like you.”

Kurt smiles slightly. “That’s because I’m one of a kind.”

“You don’t have to joke. I like you without the jokes too.”

“Go get some sleep, Blaine. I have a phone interview for an internship in New York. If I get transferred Nick will die.”

Neither of the moves. They are very close. Almost kissing. Everything around Kurt, the moon and the lighting and the wind, everything is perfect.

“Well, let’s let him live,” Blaine whispers.

They are hovering on the edge of breaking the personal barrier. Neither of them wants to be the first to move in closer or back away. They almost kiss. Blaine keeps looking at Kurt’s lips. Kurt steps half an inch to the left, breaking the spell.

“Doesn’t it feel better? That we didn’t –“

Blaine is studying a particular spot on the ground. Not wanting to make eye contact with Kurt. “Yeah.” No.

“—Do something impulsive. I mean now we actually have a shot at being friends for the rest of our lives.”

Friends. The word makes Blaine feel like he’s been punched in the stomach. He turns quickly walking to his rental car, not saying goodbye to Kurt, never once making eye contact. He gets into his car and slams the door harder than necessary. He watches in his rearview mirror as Kurt’s Navigator pulls out of the parking. Blaine rests his head against the steering wheel, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

Blaine’s cell phone comes to life next to him. Glancing at the screen, it's Kurt calling. The call is ignored. Kurt tries to call him at least six more times between the time Blaine finally leaves the Lima Bean parking lot and when he returns to his hotel room. Six calls in less than ten minutes. Each time the call was ignored.

Blaine immediately crawls into bed and lets the tears flow. It was the first time he had cried since before he heard of his father’s passing. And he wasn’t even crying over his father. Blaine was crying over Kurt. He didn’t want Kurt to be his Substitute Person. He wanted Kurt to be his Person, but that’s not what Kurt wanted and it killed him. Blaine cried well into the night, ignoring the calls from Kurt that kept pouring in.

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but when he woke the next morning, Blaine felt and looked like hell. "I'm not leaving this room today."

Checking his phone there are 277 missed calls from Kurt, three from his mother, one from Cooper, and one from Everett. Tossing his phone back on the bed, he pads towards the bathroom when he notices an envelope lying on the floor. He picks it up, examining it briefly. It's an envelope from the hotel, but there's nothing written on the front. Opening it carefully, Blaine reads what is written on the piece of paper inside.

Four words. Four little words that made Blaine angrier than he had ever been and at the same time broke his heart into a million pieces.

Please don’t hate me.