The Music Room
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Aug. 7, 2011, 7:57 a.m.


The Actor & The Musician

The Music Room: Chapter IX


K - Words: 1,091 - Last Updated: Aug 07, 2011
Story: Complete - Chapters: 16/16 - Created: Aug 07, 2011 - Updated: Aug 07, 2011
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As Blaine sat down, Kurt gave an uneasy smile and fought against the urge to lay his head on the musician’s shoulder for some sort of comfort or reassurance or just something. However he was definitely convinced that taking advantage of the comfortable position purely for his own personal gain of confidence wasn’t going to help, even if it didn’t scare Blaine off completely. He sighed, pushing his fingers through his hair. Looking into Blaine’s eyes was so easy. It seemed like a stupid thing to pick up on, bu Kurt tended to avoid keeping eye contact with someone for such a long time for fear of them seeing too much, but he was somewhat willing to tell Blaine anything and everything. “You know… you’d think I’d have learnt after publicly humiliating myself and saying that I loved him and on top of that getting verbal abuse, but I didn’t.” The brunet shrugged, going back to hugging his knees and resting his chin on the caps. “All through high school there was always one guy or another who I tried desperately to get attention from despite knowing fine well he was straight because I was the out kid.” He pursed his lips, leaning back a little so he was sat almost upright, drawing patterns on his thigh a little while trying to steady his voice, thankfully something he was quite good at after doing tragic acting pieces one after another and still having to be audible and understandable with his pronunciation even when he was pushing out the tears. “You know, I could have dealt with the bullying, being shoved into lockers and everything… but the fact that the entire school treated me like a leper was just… horrible. I was just so lonely, I mean I don’t think I’d even be here today if my dad hadn’t accepted me and been my best friend through it all. That’s the trouble with living in a small judgmental town, I guess.”

Kurt stretched out one of his legs flat, leaning his head back against the wall and closed his eyes for a brief moment before looking over to Blaine. “I mean, that’s not everything in great detail at all because I haven’t even touched on my senior year… but I’m not telling you this for pity or to gloat or anything like that, Blaine,” the actor tentatively reached out a hand, sliding his fingers loosely around Blaine’s with a soft smile. “I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to hide who you are, trust me I’ve been there and done that, because you’re an amazing person just how you are and you really need to be true to yourself…” Kurt shrugged lightly before bumping their shoulders together, his mile widening a little. “Because you’re not alone, I promise you that and although I’d love to promise you that there wouldn’t be any more ignorant pigs out there who would hurt you, I can’t because it’s not true… But you can’t be happy lying and pretending that’s not who you are.”


Blaine brought his legs up, crossing his arms and resting them on top of his knees as he continued to listen to the actor, who clearly had a lot to his past. But to be honest with himself he didn’t really know what it was like, especially to love someone who didn’t reciprocate some sort of emotion in return…well, that wasn’t entirely true, because he still wasn’t sure whether Kurt felt the same way about him or not. And he had always been one to love strongly, which is what ultimately scared off his last girlfriend…but there were even more painful memories. “To be honest Kurt, I don’t know what it feels like, so I can’t necessarily say that I understand…” Blaine looked over at the other man, meeting his gaze softly, “…but I will say that I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. You really are an amazing guy, and you don’t deserve that kind of abuse or heartbreak.” A mixed emotion of worry and pain could easily be seen on his face as he mulled over Kurt’s implication about not being around anymore. Looking away he tried to compose himself once more, because there was where Kurt differed from James…he was much stronger, as much as he had loved his best friend it was still true, the boy was brave but he had no mental capacity to deal with all of the high school torment…which was why he was successful where Kurt had failed, thankfully for the actor, but not for his friend. Blaine cleared his throat a little when he felt his eyes start to burn once more, but he didn’t want to take away from Kurt’s time so he pulled himself together and turned back, lowering his eyes enough so he wouldn’t notice but still seemed attentive.

Blaine pulled on the zipper of his hoody further up his chest until it was nearly to the top, messing with the rubber item a little for some sort of distraction. He glanced up after a moment, nodding his head somewhat, “No I understand…and I appreciate you trusting me enough to say that, because I know how hard it is to retell something that is just soaked with pain and tribulation”. Blaine uncrossed his arms, letting them hang loosely beside him with his hands on the floor as his legs stretched out in front of him. A pair of soft fingers brushed against his hand as he continued to situate himself, though the touch made him hesitate before glancing at Kurt’s hand that was covering his own. Maybe he enjoyed the simple expression a little too much, but he tried to focus back on the actor as he started talking directly to him rather than about his past, catching him a little off guard. He turned to look at Kurt, though his eyes had more trouble connecting with his then usual as he listened. “It’s not that I’m afraid of getting hurt, I can live with it, been living with it since I was a kid at home. It’s just that…” I don’t even know how to explain this, “…I’m more worried about people around me getting hurt…if that makes any sense. And I guess I’ve just gotten used to the pretending, which I know is a horrible thing to say, but I mean it’s easy to get used to lying when no there isn’t really any other guy to make me want to stop…well, wasn’t would be more accurate.”


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