Sept. 26, 2011, 1:25 p.m.
The Actor & The Musician
The First Date: Chapter XX
T - Words: 1,707 - Last Updated: Sep 26, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 22/22 - Created: Aug 07, 2011 - Updated: Sep 26, 2011 827 0 0 0 0
At some point, while he was huddled next to Kurt underneath the blanket he realized two things…and the first was that he had most definitely - without even realizing it initially - pushed yet another boundary whilst trying to make himself cozy by the both friendly and comforting gesture…. However, there was also some other sort of emotion behind it all, and maybe it was a little much for assuming that they were friends, but he still felt the necessity to address it subconsciously because it was a considerably significant action of his to take if he had this type of reasoning behind it. Blaine felt protective, and he had always been that way, keeping an eye out for his friends and people who were particularly close to him because he knew what could happen otherwise, when someone didn’t have another to be close to and keep a constantly careful watch on the other. It wasn’t that he was possessive, far from it in fact, because there were a number of times throughout his last relationship when he knew that space was really the only thing that his ex-girlfriend had wanted…even if that space had continued to grow on a daily basis. With James it had been a little different though, because the blonde haired boy had liked that closeness, and always having someone around within touching distance was comforting to him. But maybe that’s where Blaine had gotten it from, both the feeling of needing to almost overly-protective of those he cared about and that lack of a personal bubble or carefree attitude of being close to someone.�
The second thing that he had realized, as he lay close to Kurt with his arm comfortably around his waist, was that it was okay…the lack of space between the two bodies, the soothing silence that seemed to fill the room despite the sounds of glass breaking and gunfire coming from the television set, the synchronized rise and fall of their chests from breathing calmly - almost tiredly, and the gentle arm slipped low against the drama major’s waist as soft fingers touched his wrist before�intertwining�with the musician’s. It was all okay, safe in fact, and though he hadn’t cared to worry over the idea of it not being okay with the actor he was glad to know that he hadn’t done wrong, that the simple comforting gesture wasn’t something taken out of context or implied as being far more then it actually was. The thought in itself made him smile the tiniest bit as he tilted his head down so that his curls were brushed up against the back of Kurt’s neck. His eyes were still closed - even if he was still wide awake - and he was just appreciating the moment, the feeling of having someone there that he could hold and be comfortable next to without them freaking out or wanting space. Perhaps he was just a little too thankful for the small expression and for the actor’s acceptance, because now he knew that maybe there was a chance that he’d be able to get something out of the man, some sort of�inexplicable�truth or ability to be close without being afraid of the�repercussions. It really was something that he was almost proud of, because he had no idea what might happen between the two of them, or how their friendship may progress…but now he at least knew one thing, they were comfortable together and their was absolutely no awkwardness between them…and somehow that just meant far more to him then really anything else could in that moment.
Blaine slowly opened his eyes and let out a deep breath against the back of Kurt’s t-shirt when he heard that simple, yet weighted question. To be quite honest he wasn’t sure how he felt, if he was still a little distraught by the breakdown or not…but he did know one thing, and that he was - in Kurt’s terms - okay. In fact, he was better then that, because whatever emotional distress he had earlier was now either gone or put on hold from the safety and comfort he felt being next to the actor’s warm body with that familiar soft touch of palm against palm and fingers tangled together. “Yes…” he breathed, it was a simple enough answer, and it wasn’t a lie necessarily, because in that moment he was okay. He lifted his head and folded his bottom arm so he could prop the side of his head against his palm as the actor looked back at him. As close as they were he could see the way the drama major had to force his tired, yet still somehow sparkling blue-green eyes to stay open, the nearly flawless gentle skin that had the smallest hint of some natural faded pink shade brushed across his cheeks, and the feather soft brunette hair that smelled just as good as it looked. He smiled lightly down at him until the man turned his head to lay it back down against the cushion. “You know…if you’re tired you can sleep. We can always finish this some other time,” Blaine watched him for a moment thoughtfully before turning his gaze towards the screen, his eyes seeing the picture but his mind and other senses still fully aware of everything to do with the actor beside him. After awhile he removed his head from his hand and rested it back against the couch, leaving that minuscule amount of space between his face and the back of Kurt’s neck so that he was breathing gently against his skin.
Although Kurt put up a strong front and really did seem to be independent, he needed people more than he cared to admit. Really, he was quite fragile and was constantly in contact with his dad to try and keep his sanity and not completely break down under the pressure of his classes and his jobs and everything else he liked to pile on himself. He didn’t like having time to think because it frightened him, which was yet another thing which shocked him about the situation he was in right now. He had time, he was thinking and yet it was free and open and careless and it didn’t frighten him. Neither did the closeness, the intimacy and the crossing of boundaries. He was well aware that just friends never really had this moment, it was far too intimate and they were both too open to really class this as the typical friendship which Kurt had. Normally, the actor was increasingly closed off to people, he disliked them being close to him because it meant having to share, having to talk to them when he just wanted to be alone and have some time to clear his head. He’d been alone for so long, not used to the attention of having people want to get to know him, that coming to New York for university was a shock to the system and even now, he wasn’t completely used to the idea of people actually wanting to know him, even if he was perhaps a little more open to the idea when it came to Blaine. Then again, Blaine was completely different in a lot of respects, not that he’d tell him everything quite yet, if ever, but the thought that he wanted to know was comforting.
Really, Kurt should have been saying that he should be getting back to his dorm, it was dark, he had things to do in the morning and really he’d just feel bad if he fell asleep there. He should have been still in his own clothes, less relaxed and a lot more alert or at least not letting this overwhelming sense of safety take over; yet honestly, Kurt just couldn’t bring himself to move, to distrub this perfect moment where they were both calm. It was nice to see, well at least feel, Blaine relaxed and calm to some extent. The calmness to his voice, the ease of their whispers, despite being the only two in the room - which begged the question where his room mate was and if they’d be disturbed at any time and a lot of other questions - sent a small chill down Kurt’s spine at the realisation of the closeness of them, the intimacy between them. They’d seen so much of eachother, the good, the bad, the dishevelled and this just felt natural, easy and Kurt had never really felt like this before enough to realise exactly what he was feeling. He let a small smile drift over his lips at Blaine’s answer, letting the pad of his thumb brush over the musician’s hand again and slowed his breathing to something a lot more relaxed and slower, deeper, somewhat hoping that he’d feel Blaine’s shift similarly so he knew the other was relaxed himself. He half wanted to fall asleep there with Blaine, to wake up and feel the same safety and protection as he was at this moment.
The brunet hummed in response to Blaine’s words, pressing his cheek futher into the pillow with a small content sigh. He liked to think he could feel Blaine’s hearbeat against his back, the soft pressure against his sensitive skin through the clothes, which smelt entirely like Blaine. He felt completely surrounded by the musician and yet, despite this normally being something which would have frightened him, it caused his eyelids to flutter closed, his tongue to dart out lazily over his lips and his shoulders to finally give up their tension. The soft ghosting of breath against his neck sent another shiver down his spine, goosebumps flotaing across his skin and his lazy, tired smile twitch larger ever so slightly with another sigh. “I can… stay awake…” The brunet whispered sleepily between a series of small yawns. “Although I haven’t been paying attention, have I missed anything crucial?” Kurt admitted, letting his eyes twitch open again, looking at the screen blearily, his eyebrows knitting together softly with a hint of confusion. Truthfully he hadn’t taken anything in since they’d shifted into this position. He’d just been thinking about Blaine, his breathing, the fact he was so warm, the fact their hands were where they usually were.