The First Date
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Sept. 26, 2011, 1:25 p.m.


The Actor & The Musician

The First Date: Chapter XIX


T - Words: 1,922 - Last Updated: Sep 26, 2011
Story: Complete - Chapters: 22/22 - Created: Aug 07, 2011 - Updated: Sep 26, 2011
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Blaine knew he should have felt more tired then he actually did, what with the late hour, the fact that he hadn’t gotten much sleep the previous night due to his staying up in order to finish a handful of essays, and his emotional breakdown that really should have exhausted him to the point of barely being able to keep his eyes open and function properly. But - much to his own misfortune - the musician had never been all that great of a sleeper, so when he was ever in a strong enough mood or had been through quite a lot in one day he actually found it more difficult to fall asleep than had it been a fairly normal day. It was odd actually, now that he came to think about it, because he could be both a light sleeper and a heavy sleeper - though it was much less often - depending on the day’s events and his mental and emotional state during the hours he was awake. Most of the time the smallest sound or the change in lighting woke him with more then enough ease, but on occasion - after he drank, for example - he’d sleep for hours on end without ever seemingly waking up, and even when he did he looked more like a zombie then an actual human being as he stumbled about with dark eyes and messy, untamed curls. But right now…I couldn’t be more awake. And he had a couple reasons, because first of all, he had spent goodness knows how long crying on the side of some random public road, reliving painful memory after memory which he knew for a fact would keep him up through the late hours of the night and early hours of the morning. Though he also had Kurt by his side, and as comfortable and relaxed as he felt next to the drama major he couldn’t help but feel a familiar impulse, not to kiss him or anything like that but to put an arm around his shoulder or hold him against his chest…but that’s where he knew he had to draw the line, because as much as he liked Kurt he also knew that the man had clearly been through some sort of distraught, for he seemed far more reserved then Blaine himself, and his ability to take action nearly nonexistent. He almost hated himself for wanting to be closer to him, to innocently touch him in way or another without taking advantage but he knew what kind of a threat that would cause, and he had already promised himself to not push Kurt’s boundaries so far as to push him away entirely.

Blaine knew for a fact that he wasn’t like most other male college students who always had the same thought in the forefront of their mind. But he wasn’t like that, not in the slightest. He was a little touchy, sure, but never in an inappropriate way, and he knew when to keep his hands to himself or when to comfort someone and make them feel safe. He had been wanting to do something about that for awhile now, because knowing someone like Kurt sent a number of complicated and undeciphered feelings and thoughts into his mind. The musician had had the impulse to kiss one or two times before, he knew that, but there was something different about the comfortable silence in the darkened room, the slight way that Kurt’s stomach would barely move back and forth as he naturally inhaled and exhaled, the almost exhausted droop of his eyes and inaudible sound of his yawn. Those were all the readily apparent signs, but there was more also…an undertone of other little hints that made Blaine want to push yet another boundary of his, and not just for his own benefit, but because he had a feeling Kurt could use some sort of unfamiliarly gentle and sincere embrace. But his thoughts became a little murky and forgotten when the actor responded to him, and he flashed a short smile in return at the compliment until he noticed how the drama major yawned against his hand, probably exhausted from the night’s events - as he himself should have been.

The musician turned to look at Kurt, his expression kind and thoughtful as he smiled softly at him, “If you’re tired you can lay down”. Blaine tugged on his plain white v-neck shirt once more, “I’ll get you a blanket,” he added as he climbed to his feet - despite the fact he had told himself he wouldn’t escape the comfort of the couch until the movie was over - and walked over to his bed, carefully moving his clothing onto the desk nearby and pulled the comforter off the surface, dragging it over his shoulder as he made his way back over to the couch. Blaine took one glance at Kurt after noticing the expression on his face, and figured he should probably help him out some. He placed the blanket over the back of the couch and sat in his original position. Moving over some he reached down to gently take Kurt’s legs and swing them into his lap so they were sprawled across the couch’s length. “It’s more comfortable if you’re on your side,” he suggested, waiting a moment for the man to turn into a more appropriate position before he laid down as well, his chest close to the actor’s back as he reached behind him to pull the comforter over the two. Blaine sat up a little, pushing one corner of the blanket past Kurt’s feet so he was completely covered and proceeded to lay back down, drawing in a relaxing breath while slipping an arm over the drama major’s side and wrapping it loosely around his waist. He made himself more comfortable by scooting closer to the other until his bottom knee brushed up against the back of the actor’s leg and his chest was touching the warmth of Kurt’s back. The musician slowed his breathing and heart rate down instinctively until it matched the same rhythm and speed of the actor’s, closing his eyes and settling his head against the couch cushion so that his nose and lips were against an immensely soft - and somewhat spring smelling - facade of brunette strands of hair.


Kurt did feel bad for his apparently sleepy state. He was the type of person who, although they stayed up insanely late to finish off essays and to finish off learning his lines and scripts, still required a decent few hours of sleep. He was an early riser and hated just laying there not doing anything on a morning, because really it wasn’t practical. There weren’t enough hours in the day to go ahead and waste them by laying there doing nothing at all, in his opinion. He’d never rested, he hated relaxing without purpose, his mind never rested at all. Even now, he was thinking about his to do list for the coming week, how he was going to make up for today etc. and he couldn’t help it, even though he was still watching the screen with a neutral expression, his eyes heavy but still open. He didn’t know why he was so tired, because lately he’d been sleeping pretty well. He liked the comfort of having someone in the room, which sounded a little creepy to some extent, but having his roommate there and hearing the light breathing across the room was comforting. He wasn’t alone. That was a big problem in Kurt’s life; he was always lonely. When his mother had died, he just couldn’t sleep at all and often would end up crawling into the bed next to his dad just to feel like there was someone there. Eventually he ended up just taking various items of her clothing and her perfume so he could pretend she was still there. Just that comfort of knowing that there was someone there was enough to let Kurt sleep well. Of course as he got older, he was finding sleeping a little easier without people being there, but some nights he did just want that security.

Kurt turned to complain as Blaine got up, mentally slapping himself. He shouldn’t have made it so obvious he was tired, now he felt completely rude. But then again, he was surprised Blaine didn’t feel the same way after everything because he’d really spent a lot more energy crying than Kurt had done with closing himself away. Maybe he did, but was just better at hiding it that Kurt was, which was somewhat ironic considering who was the actor out of the two of them. He looked as the couch, biting his lip a little. As tempting as it was to lay down, to sleep for a little while just to take the edge off and then be revitalized enough to be a decent friend, it still felt a little awkward and rude of him to do so. He was still concerned about Blaine and as he loked up from contemplating the couch argument in his head, he caught Blaine’s eye as he sat back down. He couldn’t help but tense up a little at the contact as Blaine pulled his legs up, the half panicked, half confused expression on his face unable to be completely contained. However, he trusted Blaine (so he had to keep reminding himself) so he followed his instructions, turning onto his side and positioning the cushion to rest his head on. Although he was still slightly tense, he let out a calming breath which he’d been holding and settled into comfort.

Of course, Kurt hadn’t expected Blaine to lay down too, as much as this was somewhat maybe in the back of his head as a possible suggestion. He could feel how close the musician was, causing him to swallow loudly until the blanket was thrown over him and he couldn’t stop the small smile that fell onto his lips as he closed his eyes slowly. The hold around his waist was surprisingly comforting. The last time he’d bee laying like this with anyone, he’d been crying silently while Nick slept behind him, the grip around his middle like iron preventing him from leaving like he so very wanted to. This was in such a contrast though; he wanted to be there for a start, he knew Blaine wasn’t going to hurt him or expect anything from him, it was friendly, comforting, Kurt actually was relaxing into the hold and the warmth and he felt happy to be there listening to Blaine’s breathing mixed with the movie playing in the background. Sighing lightly, Kurt let one of his hands shift to gently touch Blaine’s wrist across his waist before taking his hand softly in his own, interweaving their fingers together before turning his head a little to look back at the musician. “Are you okay?” The actor’s voice was soft, quiet and somewhat ambiguous. He was asking many questions in one; if Blaine was comfortable, if he was warm enough, if he had enough of the cushion and the blanket, if Kurt was leaving him with no room but also if he was feeling okay, if he was still breaking down and just trying to hide it. He shifted his head back to its original position, opening his eyes slightly to look at the movie, making a mental note to watch it sometime so he could report back to Blaine on it.


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