The First Date
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Sept. 26, 2011, 1:25 p.m.


The Actor & The Musician

The First Date: Chapter XIV


T - Words: 1,119 - Last Updated: Sep 26, 2011
Story: Complete - Chapters: 22/22 - Created: Aug 07, 2011 - Updated: Sep 26, 2011
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Blaine could feel the brush of soft, moisturized skin against his palm, followed by gentle fingers tightening their grasp around his hand. He glanced down, memorizing the comfortable feeling of the actor’s fingers between his, and the delicate touch of skin to skin. It may not have seemed like much, but it meant the world to Blaine, and he had a feeling Kurt felt in a similar way. The musician knew he had been hiding basically everything that had made him the way he was, because his past experiences and relationships had caused some serious damage to the man, and it was difficult to comprehend just how much he had gone through, let alone tell somebody about it? He wanted to…he really did. He wanted to confide Kurt about the lack of a relationship he had with his father, the distant support from his mother that he only had the luxury of witnessing from time to time, the arguments and fights he would get in at school just so he could protect someone else, the hurt he had felt being told that he was simply just too much, and the overall devastation of knowing that he was the one who had set his best friend - someone whom he had loved dearly - over the edge. But it was complicated, and so unbelievable hard to talk about. Hell, he barely let himself think about all of those things…and now he had to say them aloud? But see, that was the nice thing about talking with Kurt, because he knew he didn’t have to say anything…he just knew that he should. And there were a number of things he wanted to tell the drama major, but he had no idea where to start or what even to say. I have to do this….

Blaine smiled absentmindedly when he felt his his hand being squeezed, and it immediately calmed his nerves that much more knowing that Kurt was there for him, wanting to be just as honest and open as the musician wanted to. It helped him to relax, his breathing perfectly back to normal as he shifted a little in the trunk of the Jeep, his shoulder brushing against the actor’s for a mere split second. “I do trust you, and I know that I can talk to you, it’s just that…” he watched their hands for another moment before shifting so he was turned more towards Kurt, meeting his gaze easily, “…I haven’t told anyone. Not that it really matters because I want to tell you, and I know that I will I just don’t want you to feel like I’m purposely hiding things from you because I don’t want you to know about them. That’s not the case at all, it’s hard talking about it, but I want to tell you…and I’m going to.” The musician could feel a small smile pull at the corner of his lips, though he was almost certain it would be too difficult to recognize, “Thank you…for saying that. I’ll always be here for you as well, I promise.” Blaine reached his free hand to cover Kurt’s, gently rubbing his thumb over the soft, porcelain skin as his eyes wandered over their hands thoughtfully. “I don’t even know where to start,” he said with an almost sad chuckle, his eyes still poised on the hand being held in his because that feeling of comfort and safety…well that’s what was keeping him together. “I guess I should start with my father because I think it may help to explain why I can be a little…” he hesitated, his lips forming some imaginary word that he couldn’t exactly think of to fit quite as nicely as he would have liked.


The actor felt the comfort, the relaxation and the ease which came from the small contact between them. So maybe it was stupid to think that this was the most intimate and close they had been, raw emotions, the simple touch between then which was so sacred in Kurt’s mind, but that’s what he felt completely. There were so many things no one knew about him, not even his dad. No one had heard his most secretive thoughts, the darkest things that flashed through his mind, all of the memories. Kurt hadn’t had such a terrible life overall, he had an amazing dad, he’d managed to get to New York and into the school he wanted, the course he wanted, to be in productions he loved despite their level of immaturity. Sure he’d always been lonely, as much as he was sociable and didn’t mind talking to anyone, he was too closed off to really let people in enough to get to know him, to become his friend. Therefore he’d learnt enough to be able to function without that many people in his life and hadn’t really had to go through loss, other than his mother so really sympathizing with the very little he knew about Blaine on this was difficult. “I know it’s hard, trust me. There are things which absolutely no one, not even my dad, knows because I just can’t talk about them. If it’s too much you don’t have to…” He gave another squeeze to Blaine’s hand, giving him yet another reassuring smile.

So maybe he was taking from the time he played a psychiatrist in a production, having studied many movies, documentaries and even attending a few sessions himself to understand the character. He masked his face, carefully breathing slowly and deeply to try and install a calming atmosphere. But really he couldn’t completely mask the concern covering his face, the slight knit of his eyebrows and the tight line of his mouth interchanging with a slight pursing of his lips. Kurt let his thumb slightly sweep over the back of Blaine’s hand, giving him a nod of understanding. He’d noticed Blaine’s slight tendency to not be agressive per se, but he definitely had some sort of heat at times where he snapped and Kurt guessed that was probably suppressed emotions. He’d also guessed that Blaine’s relationship with his father was completely opposite to his own and the actor actually felt for him completely. He honestly knew that if he didn’t have his dad, the likelihood of being here would have been incredibly slim. Sure they fought and their relationship was strained by issues and problems, secrets and information, differences in opinion and different personalities, but they were still incredibly close and Kurt knew that Burt was there for him no matter what. “I hope it’s not bold of me to ask this…” Kurt asked softly, looking up from where his eyes had been fixed to their hands. “Did he… hurt you, physically?”


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