Chapter 13: Don't You Worry Child

There was a time, I used to look into my father's eyes
In a happy home, I was a king, I had a gold throne
Those days are gone; now the memory's on the wall
I hear the songs from the places where I was born
Upon the hill across the blue lake, that's where I had my first heartbreak
I still remember how it all changed; My father said
"Don't you worry, don't you worry, Child
See heaven's got a plan for you
Don't you worry, don't you worry now"

-Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia

Blaine's head had been in turmoil for the past several days. His "relationship" with Kurt, if you could even call it that, which you couldn't, really, was honestly much more taxing than he ever would've thought it would be. He liked their time together, more than he was willing to dwell on, but he didn't know what that meant, and every time they were together, he left feeling confused and unsure and not necessarily good about himself. Kurt had kept pretty true to most of the "rules" that he had set up for them; he kept their interactions strictly cool and professional except for when they were hooking up and even then, he tried not to allow things to get too friendly. Which infuriated Blaine sometimes, actually, because how could a person be so detached and callous while doing the mostintimateof activities possible? It was just ridiculous. There would be moments when Blaine would see just a glimpse of Kurt's inner self shining through, brief seconds of vulnerability and truth that would flash through his eyes, but then in all the time that it took for Blaine to even recognize it, it would be gone again.

Blaine hated it. But at the same time that it frustrated him that Kurt refused to open up, he was glad of it too. Because with all that armor on, there was no way Blaine could develop any feelings for Kurt. And that- that would just be unspeakably terrible. So in the end, he was really actually grateful.

Still, he had to acknowledge the fact that it was a fucked up little arrangement they had, and instead of satiating his sex drive, it was honestly making him more and more horny. Kurt wasn't exactly generous in bed, which was oddly okay with Blaine because helikedgiving Kurt that pleasure, even if he received none of it himself. But a guy still had needs and Blaine's were growing by the day. Not to mention the complicated tangled mess that were his current emotions. He needed an outlet. A non-sexual one.

And that was when he remembered the music books.

It felt like so long ago that he had gotten to school early, just to try and sneak into the choir room and see if anything from his grandmother's piano lessons had stuck, but had ended up meeting Kurt instead. He was glad he had ended up meeting Kurt- well hethoughthe was glad anyway, but he still wanted to see if the piano was something that he should maybe explore again. It might do him some good. He was much more artistic and soulful than people tended to give him credit for. He wasn't a guy who could live off of sex, alcohol and football. He needed to feel like he was being creative. And now seemed like the perfect time to try and discover that again.

So, after football practice one afternoon, Blaine snuck from the locker rooms into the choir room. It was empty, Glee practice having fortunately already ended. He walked over to the piano tentatively.

The silence in the room felt overwhelming and thick and Blaine felt almost like he were trespassing somewhere sacred. He licked his lips nervously and wiped his sweaty palms on the front of his jeans. Reverently, he lowered his fingers so that they were resting on top of the keys. He allowed his fingers to dance along the tops of the keys lightly, not pressing down or making any sound, just allowing himself to feel them. As soon as he touched though, he realized his fingers were aching to play. Without even fully realizing it, he was suddenly sitting down on the bench, fully allowing himself to settle at the instrument. And his fingers, his fingers were pressing down and beginning to stumble through something, a sad classical song that his grandmother had taught him. He was amazed at his body's own muscle memory and the way that the song got smoother as he continued to play, him losing himself so much in the melody that he closed his eyes and no longer even watched his hands. God, he had missed this.

"Please tell me you have a voice to accompany that technique," a voice came from the doorway, startling Blaine so much that he nearly fell backwards off the bench.

It was the history teacher, Mr. Schuester, whom was pretty popular among students, and the very proud and devoted coach of the Glee club.

"Uhm, I d-don't really know," Blaine stammered. "I'm sorry about using your piano."

"Don't worry about it," Mr. Schuester said, grinning at Blaine. "That was the most passionate rendition of the first movement of Beethoven'sMoonlight Sonatathat I've heard in years. You can't just make up that kind of passion. It's a gift."

Mr. Schue walked in toward Blaine and leaned against the edge of the piano. "I know who you are. You're Blaine Anderson. You transferred here a couple years ago, you get good grades, date the head cheerleader and are on the football team. Am I correct?"

Blaine shrugged. "Those are the facts, I suppose."

"Exactly," Shue said, staring hard at Blaine. "Those are the facts. But my guess is that there's alotmore to you than just the facts. And it's an awful shame that you're letting all of it go to waste and not using it for anything."

"Who says I'm not using it for anything?" Blaine was suddenly defensive.

"I know guys like you Blaine. You've got all sorts of expectations on you, coming at you from every side. And you don't know what to do with it all, so you give in. You become who they want you to become. And you lose yourself in the process. You lose who you truly are." Mr. Schue paused for a moment, noting how Blaine wouldn't look him in the eye but only stared down at the keys in front of him; the words were hitting home. "But you can at least give your dreams a try before you throw them all away. If you love music, try music. See where it takes you. Maybe you'll find you're not interested and want to go back to how things were. But you have to at least give it a try."

Blaine wouldn't look at him because he was stupidly afraid that he might start tearing up. It felt like he had been going along unnoticed by everyone for so long and now this man had waltzed in and seen him more clearly in moments than anyone had been able to in years. He was so tempted to listen to him, so tempted to believe that he could have this.

"Here Blaine," Mr. Schue said, realizing that the boy was going to need a lot of nudging in the right direction if they were going to get anywhere. "I'm going to play a song right now, one you probably know, and you just jump in and start singing when it feels right."

Blaine nodded numbly and got up to switch places with Mr. Schuester so that he was now leaning weakly against the piano while the history teacher sat with fingers poised against the keys. All too quickly he began to play, something soft, something sweet and haunting, a song that Blainedidknow well. Blaine couldn't help but begin to mumble the lyrics but as the emotion built, so did his voice and it wasn't long before he was pouring himself into it, not caring at all that he had an audience.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to broken
I just want you to know who I am

Blaine moved flawlessly into the next verse and then repeated the chorus a few times, each time more achingly fervent than the last. When the song was over, he felt spent, but so incredibly fulfilled and contented. Still, Mr. Schuester's next words shocked him.

"That was everything I hoped it'd be and more. Now you just have to do that in rehearsal tomorrow afternoon."

"What?" Blaine choked.

"Oh you can pick your own song. Just get the sheet music so the band has something to work off of. I'll expect to see you there, 3 o'clock sharp. And don't try to tell me you have football practice because Iknowyou don't; it's due to my special arrangement with Coach Beiste which makes Thursdays a practice-free day so that football players can be in Glee."

He stood up and clapped Blaine on the shoulder, who was still unable to form words after everything that had just happened.

"You have nothing to be nervous about. Everyone there is gonna love you."

Blaine just stared after him, watching him go. He didn't know how he had just gotten himself into this situation, but he couldn't help but admit there was a tiny bubble of excitement [mixed with nerves and loathing and regret of course] forming in the pit of his stomach.

x-x-x-x-x-x

The next day was ushered in by gray sheets of rain, making it so that Blaine had to get a ride to school. His mother pawned the job off on his dad, who agreed in his usual congenial manner, never willing to do anything that might upset Helena. The man had been trained well over the years.

In the car Blaine fiddled with the radio until he landed on a station of classic rock that he knew his dad would probably recognize, if not appreciate.

"Wow," his dad said, chuckling softly over the steering wheel. "Is this what the kids still listen to these days?"

Blaine shrugged awkwardly. His dad was nice, but he never really knew what to say to him. He was always sort of expecting the man to flip out at it like his mom did, but he never did it. Instead, he usually said nothing, just walked around with this sort of sad, tired look on his face.

"Some kids, yeah. Classic rock never really went out of style."

Blaine's dad hummed appreciatively. "I used to absolutely be obsessed with this stuff when I was a kid. Had all the records, even made it to some of the concerts. It was pretty wild. God, I loved those days."

Blaine just nodded, unsure of what he should say.

"I basically stopped listening to all of this stuff around the time I met your mother. Really had to clean up my act if I was going to get her to date me, you know? I cut my hair, sold my eight tracks, all of it."

"But why?" Blaine asked without thinking. As far as he was concerned, his mother was a witch from hell. Why anyone like his dad would try to bend over backwards to please her was beyond him.

His dad laughed softly, surprisingly unoffended by Blaine's question, as if he understood. "Because I loved her," he explained simply. "I know your mom can be a bit much at times, and I have to admit...things aren't like they used to be. But even when she gets crazy or angry or things just don't seem worth it anymore, I remind myself of how I used to feel. I remind myself of how it was when we were newlyweds. And that makes everything worth it."

Blaine couldn't fathom his mother ever being a young and in love newlywed, but he guessed he could see where his dad was coming from. Sort of. He hadn't ever been in love but he heard it made people do crazy things. It made him blame his father a little bit less.

"Got anything exciting at school today?" His dad changed the subject.

"Uhm..." Blaine wondered whether he should tell his dad about the Glee audition. He didn't think the man would really care, but he was looking over at Blaine like he was genuinely interested so Blaine thought, why the hell not.

"I actually...have an audition for the school's Glee Club," he said awkwardly.

"Glee Club! They still have those?"

"Yes Sir."

"Man. I used to...well I was neverinGlee Club. But I always secretly wanted to be. Could just never get my act together enough." He looked at Blaine. "Is this something you've always wanted to do?"

"To be honest, I never thought about it much. But the choir teacher asked me to audition."

His dad smiled. "Well you do have a voice. Don't think I haven't heard you in the shower. Plus, if my intuition's correct, you probably inherited some of your grandma's musical abilities too."

They had pulled up at the school and Blaine was eager to get out. The conversation with his dad had been unexpected and nice, and that was making him uncomfortable, like the man must have some ulterior motive or something.

"Blaine!" his father called to him as he jumped from the front seat and headed toward the swarm of kids moving in through the front door.

Blaine turned back to his father expectantly, shouldering his backpack with one hand gripping the strap.

"Knock 'em dead." His father smiled and Blaine couldn't help but smile too. He turned around and headed back toward the school, ignoring the ominous raindrops that were dampening his carefully-gelled hair, because his dad had said somethingniceto him. Hell, it almost seemed like his dad had some sort offaithin his abilities.

"Well that was a precious exchange," a voice half-sneered beside him and Blaine nearly jumped a foot to find Kurt standing there.

"None of your business," Blaine reminded him.

"I know. I'm just commenting. But I'm not actually here for small-talk."

"Oh really? That's a surprise."

"Shut up," Kurt said, but there was a hint of playfulness to it. "I know you don't have football practice Thursdays and I need...weneed to work on the community service project. Code red."

Blaine blushed embarrassingly but tried to keep his face a mask.

"Can't."

"Excuse me?" Kurt's voice was one of disbelief.

"I have a thing after school."

"A thing?" Kurt narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, a thing, a thing that has nothing to do with you, so if you don't mind please, I'll have to take a rain check on your oh-so-generous offer." Blaine turned to go to his locker.

Kurt wanted very much to run after him, to pin him against the locker and make him tell the truth about what he was doing after school. What if he was fucking Quinn? Or worse,Sebastian?There was no way the boy could've gotten to him that quickly right? Plus, Blaine wasn't exactly slutty, nor was he "gay". So Kurt had nothing to worry about with Sebastian. Theoretically.

He knew he shouldn't be thinking like this but the entire idea of Blaine having plans, plans that might involve fucking around with someone who wasn'thim, made him crazy. He had to find out what Blaine was doing after school, if it killed him.

x-x-x-x-x-x

The day passed much too quickly for Blaine, who was incredibly nervous for his Glee audition, even though he knew he would be accepted regardless of what happened, and that Mr. Schue had already heard him sing and approved.

Maybe it was because auditioning for Glee was such a risky thing for someone like Blaine to do. He was much too popular to be in Glee Club. When Finn Hudson had joined, the rest of the football team had made his life a living hell for a while. Once word got around about Blaine's trying out, there'd be no end of it, not only from the football team, but especially from his girlfriend and his mother. He could lose his social status completely.

But Blaine had a feeling he was a bit more nervous about singing in front of all those kids, who were already all so close, and clearly so talented. They didn't get anxious about performances and they were sure to tear Blaine, the newbie, to pieces. Not to mention they probably already didn't like him very much because he was a part of the popular group; automatically their nemesis.

And the scary fact of it was that Blainewantedto fit in with this group; he actually cared about his audition and how they reacted to him. This, stupidly, meant something to him. He wanted it to go well.

In what seemed like a mere fifteen minutes later had Blaine standing in front of a entire classroom full of misfits and freaks, albeit talented misfits and freaks, nervously tugging on the hem of his shirt, which he already stretched out to an almost shapeless state what with all the nerves building up all day.

Picturing the classroom naked didn't help either. It was mean, but he felt like most of the Glee kids would be better off keeping their clotheson. Nudity had never been something Blaine had been all that comfortable with in the first place, even if it was the supposedly good kind of nudity.

He had already given the sheet music to the band, like Schue requested. The blank eyes were all staring at him, waiting for something. Waiting forhim, he realized with slight panic. Waiting for him to sing to them, wow them somehow. Good God, why had he ever allowed himself to get into this situation? Fuck it. It didn't matter what they thought. They were nobodies anyway.

And with that unforgiving thought, Blaine clenched his hands, steeled his nerves and nodded to the band. And then, the music began, and suddenly, he was singing. Without even really trying, the words were just flowing from his mouth. And it felt good. It feltright.

I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms
And what do you think you'd ever say
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me, and I'll never be what you want me to be
And what, do you think you'd understand
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me and throw me away
And how can your learn what's never shown
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me, cause I'm not here

At this point, the class seemed to be getting really into the song, smiles creeping onto their faces, and Blaine was getting into it to. He loved this song, loved the emotion building in it, its simple truth, and most of all loved watching the reactions of the other kids in Glee Club as he sang, getting more theatrical and impassioned with every verse.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel, wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones who stay the same
They don't know me, cause I'm not here

He began to move, getting right up close in their faces, singing actuallytothem, his voice coming out deep and growly and husky on that last line there and they were all responding, dancing and moving along to the beat, grinning at him as he poured his emotion into the words and gestured emphatically.

And you see things they never see
All you wanted- I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man
They can't break me as long as I know who I am
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones who stay the same
They can't see me, but I'm still here
They can't tell me who to be
Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe

Blaine finished the song, feeling a tear threaten at the corner of his eye, which infuriated him. He swiped at the back of his eyes roughly, clearing his throat and releasing a gust of air he hadn't known he had been holding in.

And then, slowly, they started clapping, even cheering and whistling. Blaine glanced at Mr. Schue; the man was beaming.

"I think it's fair to say everyone more than approved of your performance," he said proudly.

"Dude, if I had known you could sing like that, I would've recruited you ages ago," Finn piped up.

"Dude, I'm glad you've joined Glee, but you realize your popularity's totally gonna tank now, right?" Puck said.

Blaine nodded. "I guess I don't care so much about that."

"Well that's the right kind of attitude to have!" Mr. Schuester said in a cheerful tone. "Blaine, can I ask you what made you choose that song?"

Blaine flushed a little. The song was from the movieTreasure Planet, one of Disney's most underrated films in Blaine's opinion. He had picked it because he had always loved that song. He felt that it wasn't too mainstream where people would be bored by it but was relatable enough and intense enough where he could show off his voice and relay all the passion behind it so hopefully the other Glee kids could connect. And he really felt something behind that song. He always had. It used to make him tear up when it'd come on during the movie. He would never admit that, though.

"I think, sometimes...it kinda sums up my life," he said awkwardly.

Mr. Schue nodded sympathetically and the other Glee kids were all viewing him with similar expressions. Great. Now he had their pity. That was the last thing he wanted.

"Alright well I really have to go..." he began before Schue stepped in. "Yes. Practice is over for the day. Blaine, that was spectacular, and I expect to see you here next Thursday at 3, with a song prepared for this week's assignment, which is songs about love. Basically, find a romantic song that sums up your current feelings the best. It can be a breakup song, a song about feelings that are unrequited or whatever. As long as romance is the theme. That's all," Mr. Schue smiled that familiar grin as if the task he had just given Blaine wasn't actually the most incredibly hard thing anyone had ever asked him to do. He at this point in his life had never had less of an idea about how he felt, romantically. Glee Club was going to be so much more difficult than he thought.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Kurt had heard Blaine's entire performance and to say he was impressed would be an understatement. More like, he was blown away, completely and entirely. Blaine knew Kurt could sing of course, from that day he had accidentally walked in on him at the piano. But Blaine hadneverhinted to Kurt that he had any musical talent of his own. Kurt was shocked. Not that it was so unfathomable that Blaine could have talent; he was obviously very talented at many things, hence his popularity. But to have an artistic streak like this too? It almost wasn't fair. Kurt might've been jealous if he wasn't first of all, simply relieved that Blaine hadn't been blowing him off to hook up with someone else, and second of all, utterly turned on.

More turned on than he could ever remember being in his entire life, actually.

So when the choir room finally emptied out, leaving Blaine alone, sitting at the piano bench and tinkering awkwardly at the piano, lost deep in thought, Kurt pounced.

Blaine didn't notice the sound of the door clicking softly closed in the corner, but he did notice when suddenly somebody's strong arms wrapped around his chest from behind, and there was suddenly warm breath tickling his ear, the smell alone of peppermint shampoo and lemon face wash, mixed with a hint of cigarette smoke making Blaine get a semi.

"Why didn't you tell me you were auditioning for Glee Club?" Kurt breathed into the velvet curve of Blaine's ear.

"We aren't supposed to talk about our personal lives," Blaine muttered, trying hard to keep his wits about him despite his uncomfortable arousal.

"Yes, but this is- different. School related. You could've told me."

"I didn't think you'd want to know," Blaine exhaled as Kurt's hands began a dangerous path down over his chest, grazing over his nipples through his shirt, turning them to stone with just a brush through fabric. It would've been embarrassing if it wasn't so fuckinghot.

"Well I did want to know. And I'm glad I was able to catch the performance. Seeing you sing like that was...arousing," Kurt said, pressing his stiff erection into Blaine's back to prove his point as he kissed slowly and delicately behind Blaine's ear.

Blaine turned around almost automatically and began tugging at the button on the front of Kurt's incredibly tight jeans, laving at the skin just below his navel roughly as he did so.

Kurt threw his head back for a moment, letting himself surrender to the pleasure, before suddenly remembering something.

"No, nope. Not today," he said, taking Blaine's hands in his own to stop him from continuing to remove his pants.

"What then? If you don't want me to blow you, why are you here?" Blaine asked, genuine confusion spreading across his face. His hands were still entwined with Kurt's, and that in itself was odd.

"Today is about you," Kurt breathed in a voice so low and full of desire that it was actually husky. Blaine felt his cock twitch. Was Kurt finally going to give- no. It couldn't be.

Kurt noticed Blaine's confusion and tried to explain. "That song...you singing...it was..." he gave up on words then and fiercely yanked Blaine up into a standing position from where he was sitting on the piano bench, tugging him by his gelled curls so that their mouths could meet in a desperate kiss. "Fuck Blaine," Kurt moaned, and the sound of Blaine's own name coming from Kurt's lips that way was all it ever took to make Blaine lose his head. His hands again moved on autopilot down to palm Kurt through his jeans but Kurt once again stilled them.

"No," he insisted, a strange look in his eyes that Blaine had never seen before. Finally he just grabbed Blaine's hand and led him from the choir room, walking so fast that Blaine almost had to run to keep up.

They got to the parking lot in time to catch up with Finn, who hadn't left yet thankfully, due to being entangled in a heavy make out session with his girlfriend Rachel. Of course the rain had made it so that Kurt couldn't take his bike to school, so he had ridden with Finn.

"Come on Lover Boy. Kiss your goodbyes. Blaine and I need to get home to work on our community service project."

Although Finn was aware that Blaine came over occasionally to work on some project with Blaine, his eyes still widened as he saw the boy standing next to his car.

"He's coming over?"

"Yes Dufus, are you hard of hearing too?" Kurt said snippily.

Finn simply shrugged and turned to Rachel. "Looks like I've got to get going. I'll...I'll meet you at your house later to study?" He gave her a look that implied clearly that any activities they would be engaging in wouldnotbe of the studying nature.

"Sounds perfect," she said, standing on tiptoes once again to kiss him.

"Alright chop chop!" Kurt interjected. "It's not like you won't see her in just a little bit. Just try to pry yourselves apart for half an hour. I swear you'll survive."

Blaine was amused to see Kurt's bossiness and impatience show through. It wasn't necessarily any different than his usual behavior, but it was all the more exciting to know that part of it was stemming from the fact that Kurt could notwaitto get Blaine alone.

Finn pulled apart from Rachel with a grunt of frustration directed at Kurt, but did as he was told. Kurt opened the back door for Blaine-opened the door for him!-and then hopped into the front seat with all the excitement of a puppy going for a car ride. It was sort of completely adorable, although Blaine could never tell Kurt that.

"Dude, you don't have to be so demanding," Finn said huffily as he slid behind the wheel.

"Dude, if you ever call medudeagain, there will be serious repercussions." Well. Kurt was certainly feeling sassy today.

"Reper-" Finn tried to sound out the word, clearly not knowing its meaning. Normally, Kurt would have taken the time to explain it to his brother but now he just sighed.

"Don't worry about it, just drive."

Blaine stifled back a chuckle at this cute, eager side of Kurt that he had never experienced before. And if Kurt was so eager, it must be with good reason. Blaine felt himself beginning to get a little excited and tried to focus on car accidents and dead puppies in order to calm down.

"If you could just speed up a little bit, I'd do your laundry for like a month," Kurt was saying to Finn in the front seat. Damn, the boy was impatient, Blaine thought. It was such a turn on.

"If I go any faster, I'll get pulled over. Relax. We're like three minutes from the house. What are you in such a rush for anyway?"

"We have a lot of work to do and Blaine's a busy guy."

"Yeah Blaine, speaking of which, I have to say again, that song today in Glee wasawesome. I mean, for a song from a Disney movie. Maybe next time if you wanna do like The Doors or something, that'd be chill. But it's up to you ultimately."

"Don't do The Doors," Kurt said and Blaine could hear the frown in his voice.

"Hey! Don't knock The Doors!" Finn protested. "And what are you guys anyway, like friends now or something?"

"Or something," Blaine mumbled.

"Just forget everything that happened in the cafeteria," Kurt said with certainty. "Misunderstanding. All cleared up now."

"Good." Finn sounded relieved. "I gotta admit, I was psyched to see you in Glee today Man, then I remembered I was supposed to hate you, but it's just hard. You're a nice guy. And there's no room for hate in Glee; we're a family there, ya know?"

"Sure," Blaine nodded a little uncomfortably because he wasn't sure how well he was going to fit into this "family" Finn was talking about, and it worried him.

As soon as they got to Kurt and Finn's house, Kurt was leaping from his seat and reaching into the back to tug Blaine along with him.

"You going to visit Rachel?" He called to his brother who was watching them with a bewildered look on his face.

"Yeah I...I guess so." He was clearly distracted by Kurt's strange behavior.

"Alright then, have a nice time, try not to make any accidental babies while you're at it because you know with Rachel's Jewish nose and your terrifying height, the kid would really just be screwed from the get go."

Ah. And there was the Kurt they all knew and loved.

Finn pulled away and Kurt fumbled with his house keys to unlock the door, nearly falling when it gave way much faster than he had expected it to, Blaine entering cautiously behind him.

"I don't get to use this entrance much," he said with a light chuckle, trying to diffuse the heavy sexual tension that had suddenly settled thickly over the room.

"Yeah well, there happens to be another entrance you also don't use nearly enough that I'd much rather be discussing right now," Kurt murmured and Blaine didn't even have time to comment on how utterlyawfulthat line was before the taller boy had him jammed up against the door frame.

"Do you know what you did to me back there?" Kurt rasped, pinning his arms above his head while licking softly at his earlobe, as he had done earlier in the choir room.

"No," Blaine answered, trying not to let the word come out as a moan.

"You made me fuckinginsane." Kurt was biting down his neck now. "I had no idea you had a voice like that."

"It's not really something I share," Blaine quipped.

"Well you should. Or no..." He pulled back and looked into Blaine's eyes, licking his lips thoughtfully. "Perhaps it'd be safer if you kept it only for me." He bent his head back down to attack the skin at Blaine's throat and Blaine couldn't help but lift his hands up to tangle his fingers in Kurt's perfect chestnut hair.

"Only for you?" Blaine couldn't help but repeat in his lust-induced haze.

"Onlyfor me," Kurt all but growled and began working on Blaine's collarbone. His fingertips tore at the hem of Blaine's shirt he pulled it up and over his head in mere seconds.

"God why didn't I do this sooner?"

"I have no idea," Blaine answered honestly.

"Come on," Kurt murmured. "We have toat leastmake it to my bedroom."

"Do we?" Blaine couldn't help but smile at Kurt's fervor.

"Mhmm," Kurt murmured, capturing Blaine's lips with his mouth again. His affection was almost overwhelming, but Blaine was determined to show that he could keep up.

Kurt grabbed fistfuls of Blaine's collar and dragged him down the stairs to his bedroom, tugging his jacket and shirt off and kissing him in between removal of the clothing.

Their times together had always been passionate but never like this. Kurt seemedhungry, ravenous for Blaine and Blaine couldn't say he disliked it.

"God you're such a fucking tease," Kurt growled as he grappled with Blaine's belt and whipped it onto the floor of the bedroom.

"Singing like that, acting so innocent. You had to know it would drive me crazy, make you irresistible to me." He sucked at Blaine's neck, no doubt leaving bright red splotches in his wake.

"You're ridiculous." Blaine chuckled at Kurt's dirty talk.

"Hey." Kurt pulled back with a look that was supposed to be annoyed but came off as more of a pout. "I'm trying to do something here and you are ruining it."

"Sorry, sorry," Blaine said with another quiet laugh, tilting his head back to give Kurt better access to his neck.

And then Kurt was attacking him, sucking and biting at his lower lip until he elicited growls from the other boy, causing Kurt to smile involuntarily at his ability to cause this reaction in Blaine.

Kurt pushed Blaine onto the bed on his back and began running his smooth fingers up and down Blaine's chest greedily. "God you feel so...so good," he breathed.

Blaine couldn't talk, simply continued to keep his head thrown back and his eyes closed, trying to control his breathing. This was legitimately the first time that Kurt had ever given Blaineanythingreally, other than that first body shot, which didn't really count for anything. Blaine would've been lying if he said he wasn't scared. Fucking terrified actually. He was already so hungry for this. What if he enjoyed ittoomuch? What would it say about him?

But he didn't have much time to think. Kurt had his hand palming over the bulge in the front of Blaine's jeans.

"You're so hard already," Kurt said with lust in his eyes.

"Well I've waited long enough."

"That, you have," Kurt said with a glint, and with that he tore open the button of Blaine's jeans. He took a moment to revel in the view, the sight of Blaine, much bigger than he had anticipated, straining at his boxers. Kurt took a moment to brush across the swell, almost reverently, causing Blaine's hips to stutter in his direction and his eyes to flutter closed.

"Fuck Blaine, tell me you need this."

"You really need me to tell you?" Even turned on and mid-passion, Blaine could be sassy.

"Yes," Kurt growled, moving his hand away from Blaine's groin demonstratively.

"Fine. Fine. I need this. Kurt, I needyou.Fucking touch me already."

Kurt grinned and tugged the rest of Blaine's jeans off, tossing his socks on the floor too. They now sat with Blaine's legs straddling Kurt, Kurt kneeling in between them licking his lips eagerly.

"Are you sure about this?" Kurt asked, pulling back from a long open-mouthed kiss he had planted on Blaine.

"Jesus Kurt, yes. I'm sure." Blaine's voice was low and growly and Kurt felt his own erection springing to life. But for once, that was not his focus. He wanted Blaine, Blaine's cock, Blaine moaning his name, wanting him, needing him.

"Good," Kurt moaned. "Cause there was no way I was gonna be able to stop."

He slid Blaine's boxers down, almost tentatively, gently at first. The tenderness of the action surprised Blaine, and then he found himself even more shocked when, his cock finally revealed, Kurt didn't immediately attack him but simply sat back on his heels and gazed for a moment, taking him in. Blaine had never felt so self-conscious in his life, never with a girl, or at a football game, or even performing at Glee Club today. He had never felt so entirely vulnerable with somebody else, but he found he didn't mind. If he was going to be vulnerable, he wanted to be so with Kurt, even if he couldn't entirely trust him. He was still the one Blaine wanted, for some stupid reason, to open up to. And as much as he would've liked to, he couldn't deny or change that fact.

After a few moments of gazing, Kurt finally leaned forward and placed the softest of kisses on the head of Blaine's cock. Blaine shuddered beneath the light touch and Kurt almost tenderly rubbed his hands up and down the side of Blaine's arms. What had started out as a lust-filled hook up had slowly turned into something much softer and it was scaring Blaine, but thrilling him simultaneously.

"You're beautiful," Kurt murmured, and Blaine wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not, he thought he must be, or at least must be hearing things, making up what he wanted to hear in his head. But the shocked and almost frightened look in Kurt's wide blue eyes told Blaine that he had heard correctly. Kurt had accidentally exposed his vulnerable side, let some emotion leak through the cracks in his armor and he was freaking out now. Blaine simply leaned up, and tangled his hands behind his head in a gentle but arduous kiss as if to tell himit's okay, I won't judge you, it's alright.

Blaine felt Kurt relax into the kiss after a few moments and then finally, his hand moved back down toward Blaine's dick, which responded to his touch eagerly.

Kurt wrapped his hand around the shaft and began stroking slowly, using Blaine's generous precum as a natural lubricant. And then, while keeping his hand firmly on the base, he put his mouth back to the tip, kissing it again, kissing down the sides, licking softly, teasing, torturing, making love to his cock with his mouth, adoring it, till Blaine was mewing beneath him.

"Your cock is too lovely to just take down in one swallow," Kurt explained as he continued to work his way around in tantalizing little strokes.

"Kurt...Kurt...please..." Blaine was begging and Kurt loved it.

He leaned back up to kiss Blaine again, and Blaine could taste his salty sweet precum on Kurt's lips, and surprisingly, it was hot.

"Patience." Kurt smiled, a genuine smile, and all his features lit up gorgeously. Blaine felt his breath catch in his throat. "Good things come to those who wait."

Kurt kissed down the center of Blaine's chest, down the dip between his pecs that trailed down between his softly-defined abs, lapped at the trail of dark hair that began to gather into a patch at his waistband. Blaine was arching his back into the kisses, wantonly. Kurt used his fingers to work Blaine's nipples as he moved about with his mouth, raising each one into a hard nub, pinching even, so that Blaine cried in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Kurt spent a good deal of time nuzzling at the fuzz at the top of Blaine's groin, inhaling his male muskiness, making Blaine nearly blush at the intimacy of it all.

He thought once again how this felt nothing like anything he hadeverdone with Quinn, or any girl before her. In fact, the acts couldn't even really righteously be compared to each other.

"I...can't...believe...I waited...so long...to see you like this," Kurt said huskily between kisses he was layering on the base of Blaine's cock. Blaine felt himself melting inside at Kurt's gentleness, at the wrecked sound of his voice.

And then, finally, in the midst of Blaine's thoughts, Kurt took him fully in his mouth.

Blaine gasped at the feeling. Yes, Quinn had sucked him off before, and there had been another girl once before that, but it feltnothinglike this. Oh sweet mother above this was incredible. The sheer warmth and wetness of Kurt over Blaine's length, the eagerness of his actions, the talent in his tongue, the lust-blown look in his green-blue eyes as Blaine gently pulled his hair up so that he could meet his gaze. Kurt looked so hot like this, mouth glistening and pink, hanging open, his breath coming fast, and his eyes, unwavering, meeting Blaine's steadily, saying so much but nothing that Blaine could understand. He felt his stomach twist suddenly as their eyes locked and he knew now that somehow, things had irrevocably changed. He didn't know what, but he could sense it, literally feel it in his gut. He had a feeling that Kurt could feel it too.

But Kurt didn't acknowledge the shift, simply moved his head back down as Blaine loosened his grasp and continued sucking zealously on Blaine's erection, paying special attention to the head before suddenly deep-throating the entire thing again without a hitch.

"Kurt..." Blaine twirled his fingers in Kurt's hair, unable to form any other words.

"God, Kurt."

Kurt hummed in acknowledgement and Blaine couldn't help but buck his hips into Kurt's face. He heard the taller boy make a small noise of surprise at the action, but then grasp Blaine's hips appreciatively, stroking small circles in the dips there. He moved his hands so that he was gripping Blaine's ass, encouraging the curly-haired boy to continue thrusting.

"Are you s-sure?" Blaine choked out.

"Fuck. Yes Baby. Fuck my mouth, come on. I want to make you feel amazing."

Those words sent Blaine over the edge and he let go, thrusting his hips erratically, Kurt taking every pounding in stride. As soon as Blaine found a rhythm, he found the pleasure mounting so strongly that he lost his control again. Kurt simply continued, even as he felt Blaine's body tightening, threatening his near-approaching release.

"Kurt...God...Kurt. Kurt!"

Kurt made a noise without moving his mouth that sounded like "what."

"I'm gonna come Kurt, I'm s-so close," Blaine rasped.

"Then come for me Baby. I want you to," Kurt whispered and that was absolutely all that it took for Blaine to let go, yelling Kurt's name and firing into his mouth a steady stream of himself, Kurt drinking it all in without hesitation, making Blaine come even more, and harder, till he simply lay there, spent and trembling on Kurt's bed.

Kurt moved off of his cock and up to kiss Blaine languidly and once again, Blaine could taste himself and found that he liked it. Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine's curls, now sweaty and more visible than they had been in their gelled state.

"You're beautiful," he whispered again, and this time, Blaine knew he was meant to hear it.

"You...are going to give me whiplash," Blaine responded softly, running his hand casually up and down Kurt's smooth back.

Kurt didn't comment on Blaine's words and so they hung in the air quietly until they finally faded and Kurt said, "I want to know why you sang that song."

"Hmmm?" Blaine murmured, feeling drowsiness pulling at his eyelids.

Kurt leaned up on his hands and kissed him soundly, before flopping back down so he was once again lying across Blaine's stomach, toying with his curls. "Wake up," he said petulantly, and his pout was adorable that Blaine couldn't help but laugh.

"No seriously. Answer my question," Kurt demanded. "Whythatsong?"

Blaine shrugged awkwardly. "I like Disney?" he supplied.

"Uh-uh," Kurt shook his head. "Not gonna cut it. You and I both know there's much more to it than that. Come on. Tell me."

Blaine sighed. How could he deny anything from this man?

"You were watching. You heard what I told Glee. It sums me up, kind of."

"How?" Kurt asked curiously.

Ugh. No getting out of this one.

"No wait," Kurt instructed him. "Why don't you sing it for me again. Just the parts you like the most."

"What?"

"Sing it for me. I demand a private performance."

"Kurt-"

"No. I just gave you the most mind-blowing orgasm of your life and you can't deny it. You owe me."

Blaine huffed but nevertheless, he began singing, softly at first, just a portion of the song.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel, wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones who stay the same
They don't know me, cause I'm not here

Kurt rested his head on Blaine's chest, in the crook below his chin as Blaine finished the little segment, trying his best not to let the tears gather.

And you see things they never see
All you wanted- I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man
They can't break me as long as I know who I am

They lay in silence for a while, not speaking, just holding each other, and Blaine still found it unfathomable how many of Kurt's own rules he was breaking, but he certainly wasn't going to protest.

"I love that last part," Kurt said quietly.

Blaine didn't say anything, not sure of Kurt's meaning.

"Blaine...do you ever think sometimes...you might be gay?"

Kurt was travelling into forbidden territory, but he couldn't help himself. Blaine had just seemed so broken when singing the song, so needy and desperate, but unwilling to truly ask for help. Except in the song. Kurt couldn't help it; he wanted...he wanted tobethe one Blaine was singing to in the last verse.

Blaine's voice shook and he felt a bit sick to his stomach but he simply said, "No."

"But...what about girls. I mean Quinn. Have you guys ever..."

"Had sex? Once. Sort of." Blaine laughed bitterly. "It's not really worth mentioning."

"So are you bi then?"

"Kurt I don't know!" Blaine was frustrated now. He moved so that Kurt was off of him and he was sitting up in the bed.

"I'm just trying to help you figure it out," Kurt said.

"Help me?" Blaine was boiling, all his anger and confusion and frustration suddenly mounting and escaping in one furious burst. "All you ever do is make it worse! You torture me and tease me, keeping me on this short fucking leash all the time, never admitting to me how you feel about me or letting me see if I feel something for you. You don't want to be close to me but youdothings to me and I can't...I can't fucking take it anymore. I can't take your sick little games that you like to play with straight boys. It hurts too goddamn fucking much! How do you expect me to be able to figure shit out when you treat me the way you do? You know what? Fuck you Hummel. You pretend like you're this great humanitarian, fighting the good fight for the gays, doing the right thing, living for passion and rights. But youplaywith people. One day you tell me I mean nothing to you, then you're calling mebeautiful?You're just a fucking slut. And I'm sick of being your boy toy. Find some other lost kid who wants to be yanked around. This isn't worth it for me. You aren't worth it."

Over the course of his yelling, Blaine had started tugging his clothes back on, buckling his belt, mis-buttoning his shirt, tossing his jacket on inside out.

"You can't justbreak things off," Kurt insisted. "We have the project..."

"Fuck the project! I'll do it by myself and tell Figgins you helped. I don't want to see you anymore. Not even your face."

Kurt was sitting in his bed, his shirt still discarded somewhere and his hair messy from their encounter, an expression of shock frozen onto his perfect features.

"And maybe," Blaine said, leaning down close to Kurt's ear, "You can send me a postcard in ten years and tell me how it feels to getrejected, how it feels to get your shit tossed right back in your face. I hope it feels good. I hope you feel like you've done the gay community proud. I'm going back to my girlfriend where I belong. She may be a homophobe but she doesn't fuck around with people's emotions and lives. So I choose her."

Kurt waited until the door slammed to let the tears start to fall.