July 23, 2012, 5:11 p.m.
A Place Called Home: A Place Of Falling Apart
T - Words: 3,258 - Last Updated: Jul 23, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 10/? - Created: Apr 16, 2012 - Updated: Jul 23, 2012 646 0 0 0 0
"Kurt?"
"Yeah, Blaine?" Kurt looked up from this month's issue of Vogue to look Blaine straight in the eyes, he could feel the tension in Blaine's voice.
"Do you still- uh, never mind, just forget I said anything. Keep reading your magazine." Blaine rubbed his thumb on Kurt's hand from where he was holding, and put his head down in an attempt to hide the scarlet blush appearing on his cheeks.
"Blaine? Baby, please tell me what's concerning you." Kurt got up, put the issue of Vogue on Blaine's hospital bedside table, and came to sit on his bed, and took both of Blaine's hands into his, and made eye contact, begging Blaine, silently, to tell him what was wrong.
"Oh, it's nothing, Kurt." But it was something, and Blaine had to close his eyes in the hopes that Kurt wouldn't be able to tell by reading his eyes.
"Blaine. I know when something is up, and when something is nothing, and I can tell you are not telling me something. Please don't shut me out; I have had to deal with over three months without you. I want you to tell me everything. We have to work this out." Blaine took his hands away from Kurt at that, and shifted further away from him. "Blaine?"
"I didn't know we had something to work out."
"No, no, no, no. Not like that. Just, Blaine, we can't ignore the fact that you are missing over three months memory, and then you were asleep for three months. It's just a lot, and you still can't remember everything from the time before that. So we have to talk things out."
"When were you going to tell me, Kurt?"
"Tell you what babe?" Kurt saw the look of disgust flash on Blaine's face, and his stomach fell, what was going on in Blaine's mind? But just as quickly as the look of disgust came upon his face, a new one of neutrality appeared.
"Nothing, Kurt. Absolutely nothing." But that was a lie. Blaine wanted to know when Kurt was going to tell him about the months he missed, and who this new guy was, and he needed to know when Kurt was going to friggen break up with him. He couldn't deal with this, he didn't want Kurt to just not be breaking up with him because he just woke up. He never wanted this relationship to be fake, no, he loved Kurt way to much for that. He wanted Kurt to be happy, yah, he would prefer if he was the one to make him happy, but if he wasn't, he sure as hell didn't want Kurt to lie to him about it, and pretend he still loved him. Oh, how he loved that boy, maybe it would be okay if he just let Kurt pretend for a little longer. He wouldn't be able to adjust to this awakening with having to deal with huge heartbreak on top of it.
"Blaine..."
"NOTHING, KURT!"
"BLAINE!" Kurt snapped, Blaine never rose his voice without a significant cause, usually being bluntly obvious, "Don't raise your voice at me, especially when I'm just trying to figure out what is bugging you. Come on, baby. Please tell me, let me in. I want to help you figure this out, I want us to figure this out, together. I love you, Blaine. I want you to be so open with me, so I know how to help."
Wow, Blaine couldn't help to think, Kurt sure knew how to lie, he was defiantly going to be an amazing actor one day. Man he was in love with him, and how he couldn't even imagine his life without him, didn't want to imagine that lonely existence, but he knew it was upon him soon, so he might as well enjoy this final few moments, and try to extract as much information from him about the six missing months of his life.
Blaine looked up at Kurt and smiled his small, sorrowful smile, "Sorry, Kurt. It's just I don't know how to deal with all of this. It's just to much to even think about, and I can't wrap my brain around it." Yes, make him think that you're lost, Kurt will stay with you even longer than.
"Oh, Blaine." Kurt sat back down on the bed and embraced Blaine as much as he could from there sitting positions, "I'm here for you, for as long as it takes." Yeah, and then you'll be gone. What ever happened to ‘I'll never say goodbye to you?' Huh, Kurt? What happened to ‘You're the love of my life?'
Blaine gulped and decided to ask one of the questions he had to ask, but should be safe enough for Kurt to stay around, because Blaine knows he won't be around much longer after Blaine asks him who this new guy is. Why should Kurt stay when the cats out of the bag?
"Were you there the night this happened to me, Kurt?"
"I was." Kurt nodded sadly, and his shoulders immediately slumped.
"Wh-what happened, Kurt?"
"I really should ask Alison if I could tell you." Kurt got off the bed and began to walk towards the door.
"Why can't you just tell me? I don't want Alison in the room when I find out. I just want you, only you." Kurt's face seemed to fall. Wow he must really not love me anymore, Blaine thought.
"Of course, Blaine. Of course. I'll be the only one in here, I swear. But, let me just go talk to Alison, make sure it's fine with her. I don't want anything worse to happen to you."
Blaine snorted, he actually snorted. He was supposed to keep that in. Kurt can't know that he knows, not yet.
"Blaine?"
"I have know idea why I snorted, just go find her Kurt." Kurt nodded and walked out the door.
Why? Why, why, WHY? Why did this have to happen to Blaine? Last thing he can remember him and Kurt were madly in love, and about to move in together. And apparently, they did move in together. So why!? Why did he have to get himself taken to this stupid hospital, and be unconscious for three friggen' months? But why? Why did Kurt have to go find someone else? Why couldn't he just wait? They've waited for each other before, Kurt had to wait months during high school for Blaine to come to his senses and realize everything he ever wanted was right in front of him. So why couldn't Kurt wait again, when he knew that Blaine was so in love with him.
Maybe he was over thinking, maybe Kurt was just seeming to walk on egg shells around him because Kurt doesn't want to scare him. Maybe there is nothing wrong at all, except for the obvious. Maybe-
Blaine was knocked from his thoughts, when a man in a doctor's uniform walked in the door and introduced himself as Dr. David Connolly.
What was up with Blaine?
Kurt let his thoughts wonder on his way back from getting permission from Alison. Something was up with the love of his life and he didn't know what. What was he afraid to ask? Did he not love Kurt anymore? Did he wake up and realize he was too good for Kurt? Did he want to break up? What was happening!?
Wait.
Blaine always did this sort of thing, when he thought, Kurt, himself was hiding something. Blaine must think something happened when he was out.
Wait.
This is exactly how Blaine acted in freshman year at NYADA, when Kurt's friend, Alex, came to Kurt's apartment, and Blaine became insanely jealous.
Shit.
Blaine thought Kurt was going to leave him.
He had to get back to Blaine before his thoughts wandered even more.
**********************************************************************************************************************************************
"Um, hi, Dr. Connolly. Where is Alison?"
"You mean, Dr. Brooke?" Blaine nodded. "She's around, but she asked me to check some things out for her, routine, so don't you worry." He smiled at Blaine as he locked the door.
"Why are you, uh, why are you locking the door?"
"Oh. Blaine, relax. This is just routine, we don't need anyone walking in while I'm trying to figure out what is going on in the pretty little brain of yours."
"Um. Right, right, of course. But why can't Dr. Brooke do these herself?"
"I was your doctor for the first month or so of your time here, so I know some things from early on, that she might not be familiar with."
"Oh. Why aren't you still my doctor?"
"Complications arose."
"With me?"
"Oh, no. No. With Kurt."
"Kurt? Is Kurt okay?"
"Of course, of course. Just Kurt and me became rather, uh, close. Didn't he tell you?" Blaine shook his head, did Kurt fuck his old doctor, and was he still seeing him. Oh my gosh, he just wanted to knock this guys head off his neck. How dare he touch his boyfriend. Kurt is his.
Mine.
" ‘Cuse me?" Blaine managed to squeak out.
"Kurt didn't tell you? Well I guess I don't blame him, you haven't been up for too long. But I thought he would tell his brother."
"Brother? Finn is here?"
"Finn? Oh, no. You, Blaine."
"Kurt told you I was his brother."
"I know I didn't believe it at first, I mean you two look nothing alike. But then he told me you were stepbrothers and it all made sense. Why he was always here, and of course why you two don't look alike." The doctor smiled, actually smiled, as Blaine saw his world crumble to pieces. He already had a life threatening accident, was in coma, just woke up, and now found out his boyfriend has been cheating on him, while he was in a freaking coma. What the HELL was wrong with, Kurt? He was crushed. Blaine thought Kurt loved him.
"Right. Uh," Blaine struggled to keep it together, "so what, what is your relationship with uh, uh Kurt?" Blaine had trouble saying his name without crying like a baby.
"Well, I guess you would say things are pretty serious, so of course I couldn't be your doctor anymore. After Kurt and I made love for the first time, we knew it was in everyone's best interest to switch doctors." Blaine's heart broke, he was no longer the only one to touch Kurt's body, and he was know longer the last, not to mention, only, person Kurt had ever made love to. His heart tore in two, and he began to cry.
"Leave, just leave." Dr. Connolly tried to touch Blaine's shoulder, but Blaine pushed him away. "GET OUT!"
Dr. Connolly nodded, "I'm not sure I understand, but I'm sorry, Blaine. I understand this is hard, and it was probably unprofessional for me to talk like that, which is why I was switched from being your doctor in the first place. I'm sorry, I'll be back later. And I promise to be completely professional." He smiled and walked out the door, leaving Blaine with a broken heart and tears streaming down his face.
As Kurt ran back to Blaine's room he saw a figure leave the room and walk away quickly. It only took a second for Kurt to see it was David Connolly, the guy who almost killed Blaine. The guy who was a freaking asshole.
Kurt ran after him and pushed him to the wall. He scowled at him and hissed, "What the fuck are you doing here? This hospital put you on probation and I have a restraining order against you."
"Kurt, my love."
"Don't call me that."
"Kurt. I'm here to see you."
"What the fuck did you tell Blaine?"
"Nothing."
"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME, YOU BASTARD."
"Keep your voice down honey."
Kurt scowled and back away from David, "Don't call me that."
"Come on, loosen up."
"Shut up."
"Sure." David came closer to Kurt, and Kurt barely dodged the kiss that David was trying to give him.
"NURSE! NURSE! CALL SECURITY!"
"Stop it! Kurt, I'm sorry, seriously? But stop messing around. I know you want to be with me."
"There is nothing I want less in this world."
"Kurt, baby, don't do this."
"You're delusional." Kurt growled and then he noticed security coming towards them and doctors following.
"Dr. Connolly, you are not supposed to be on these grounds or near this young man, and definitely not supposed to be in the uniform." One of the doctors said. The others nodded and one shouted, "Get him out of here before he tries to kill another patient." Security took him away as he began to shout, "YOU'LL MISS ME, KURT! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!" Kurt shrunk down to the floor and wiped away the tears falling down from his eyes. He took a deep breath and got up and walked towards Blaine's room, hoping for the best.
Deep breaths, Blaine thought, Take deep breaths. The tears still fell, and he could actually feel his heart ripping in two. His life was over and he didn't know how to deal with it. He thought waking up in an unfamiliar place, having no idea how you got there, being injured, and finding out you've been asleep for over three months was hard. Well he was wrong, because it was nothing compared to the grief, anger, and unbelief he was feeling over Kurt, his Kurt, cheating on him while he was freaking unconscious. He thought Kurt loved him, he thought Kurt was his future. So much for that, maybe his brain was playing tricks on him. Maybe this past he remembered with Kurt was a lie. No, it wasn't, he knew it wasn't, and to think it was, just made him hurt even more.
He heard the door open, and saw Kurt slide in the door and walk towards Blaine.
"Don't come near me, Kurt."
"Blaine..." Kurt sounded like he'd been crying, how Blaine wanted to just wrap him in his arms, but he couldn't. He was crying too, and Kurt no longer wanted him anyway. He had a new, older, doctor boyfriend.
"Don't come near me." Kurt's heart broke.
"Blaine, I know you talked to Dr. Connolly, but please let me explain."
"I really don't want to hear the specifics."
"Blaine? No. Please let me talk."
"I already heard enough. No, stop. I don't want you to touch me." The tears were streaming down both their faces, but Kurt had NO right to cry. The fact that he was, was just causing Blaine to become angry.
"Blaine, please, please. Listen."
"WHY WOULD YOU DO IT KURT!?"
"Blaine. I didn't mean for it to happen." Blaine laughed bitterly at this and growled at Kurt.
"Didn't mean for it to happen? Wow, so it just happened then?" Blaine sarcastically said.
"Blaine."
"I thought you loved me."
"I do. I do, of course I do Blaine."
"And to do it while I was unconscious. You couldn't even wait?"
"Wait? What, Blaine?"
"It was only three months, Kurt. Three months out of forever. I'm sorry I left you, I really didn't mean to. It's not my fault I was in a comma." Blaine's head was turned downwards and tears streamed down his face. Kurt ran to him and took his hand.
"Of course it wasn't Blaine. I did wait. I would wait forever for you."
"Please stop lying, it hurts to much."
"Blaine."
"Just do it. Just break up with me, and get out."
"Wha- What? Why would I break up with you?"
"You can't fuck both of us. I don't want you anymore anyway, not after you let him touch you, in ways only I have before. I just can't bear to share you. It would hurt worse to continue this with you, then to have to sleep next to you, and just imagine him touching you, and fucking you. I can't share you."
"Blaine, no, no, no." Kurt shook his head and looked lost for words.
"I can't believe you told him that we were brothers. That was real low, Kurt. And you must of told him that, like, right when I was checked in. Did you ever love me, Kurt? I don't know what happened those last three months before the accident. But I thought we were still together and happy. I know I can't be for sure. But the fact that you told him that we were brothers," He spits the word out, "just shows that you had no plan to stay faithful to me. That doctor told me you were together. I can not believe you would do this to me Kurt. You, of all people. Why did you have to hurt me the worst?"
"No, Blaine. Let me talk."
"I don't want to hear the specifics of you FUCKING ANOTHER GUY, KURT! NO FUCKING THANK YOU! JUST BREAK UP WITH ME ALREADY! JUST DO IT! SO I CAN TRY AND REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK TO DO! MY LIFE IS ALREADY MESSED UP SINCE I LOST SIX MONTHS, I DON'T NEED THIS BULLSHIT TOO!"
"Blaine, Blaine, listen to be, baby."
"Just break up with me." Blaine cried. Kurt sat next to him on the bed and snuggled up to him.
"I'm never saying goodbye to you, Blaine."
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Kurt. I love you so so so much, but I can't stay with someone who would cheat on me while I'm in a comma. I want to be able to forgive you. I love you so much, and I have no idea how to deal with this memory shit, AND losing you, but I can't share you. Besides, that doctor seems to think you are exclusively his."
"I have a restraining order against that doctor, Blaine. Because he fucking tried to kill you."
What?
"Wha- What?"
"That doctor is nothing to me, Blaine. I swear to God, we did NOT have.. se- sex. Never. I would never do that to you. I would never want to do that anyway. I'm in love with you."
"I'm, I'm confused."
"I know, baby. But before I tell you everything, will you please tell me you believe that I didn't cheat on you and believe me that I don't want to break up with you."
Blaine nodded, "I believe you."
"Kiss me." Blaine nodded and kissed Kurt passionately on the lips. Something had to be wrong with his head, he never thought like this. Why would he believe that doctor? He didn't even know him, why did he think those things in the first place? He was an idiot. But an idiot who just woke up from a three-month comma, and lost three other months of memory, he was confused, and his brain was acting up. He took a deep breath and told Kurt to tell the story.
Kurt finished telling Blaine all about the sickness that was David Connolly, about how he made unwanted advances to Kurt, and used Kurt's hopelessness and sorrow to try to make Kurt want him, Kurt told him about that kiss that made Kurt cry, and go insane, and made him kiss Blaine a million times. Kurt even told Blaine about getting the restraining order, and told Blaine about the situation that happened right before he came into the room.
"Can I see the restraining order? It's not that I don't believe you, it's just, it would confirm everything, and I would never have a doubt. It's not that I don't trust you, I just, I just.."
"Shh, Blaine. Of course you can see it." Kurt stood up and walked over to where his bag was, he began to rummage through it and a few minutes later Blaine heard a small whisper of victory, and saw Kurt walk over to him with a paper in his hand.
Blaine read over the paper, and let a small smile appear on his face.
Blaine took a deep breath, kissed Kurt deeply, and then began to cry.
He hated that freaking creep.
He hated that he was so confused.
He hated that he left Kurt for three months.
He hated that he flipped out on Kurt, because he loved him so god-damn much.
He hated the most that for the life of him he couldn't remember why he couldn't remember.