July 23, 2012, 5:11 p.m.
A Place Called Home: A Place Of Confusion
T - Words: 1,946 - Last Updated: Jul 23, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 10/? - Created: Apr 16, 2012 - Updated: Jul 23, 2012 970 0 1 0 0
A few days passed. Kurt stayed by the Blaine's side, only ever leaving to go to the bathroom, shower, and occasional to get something to eat from the cafeteria, just to bring it back to Blaine's room. The nurses had long stopped telling Kurt that visitor hours were technically over, and he should think about going home. Blaine only had Kurt, his parents had talked to Kurt over the phone a few times, but that was it. They had made no plans to come out and see Blaine. Their own son, Kurt couldn't understand. Even Carol and his dad already had plans to come out the following weekend to visit. Finn and Rachel had visited yesterday, and just kept reassuring Kurt that Blaine would come back to him any second now.
Kurt thought back to when he had felt Blaine's hand twitch in his hand a few days back. Dr. Connolly had told him it was a sign that Blaine was going to arouse from his seemingly endless sleep soon. Dr. Connolly was around a lot. He made Kurt feel a little safer though, he always told Kurt the absolute truth and reassured Kurt constantly that the comma was only temporary. Kurt just wanted his Blaine back. Now.
"Kurt?" Dr. Connolly knocked on Blaine's hospital room door and stepped in.
"David." Kurt stated.
"The test results are in."
"Which ones again? I keep losing track, there are so many of them." Dr. Connolly chuckled as he closed the space between him and Kurt. Kurt seeming became uncomfortable by the lack of distance between him and the doctor, so he stood up from the chair and took a few steps back. Dr. Connolly caught the hint and began to talk, "The ones for the concussion that was on his head."
"Oh. How does it look."
"The concussion is gone, the only thing truly keeping Blaine in the comma is the loss of blood from the head. When he does arise, which should be any day now, he will seem very confused and will definitely suffer from short-term memory loss."
"Meaning?" Kurt barely whispered the word, he couldn't even imagine a world where Blaine couldn't remember who he was, or how much they loved each other, or how they were supposed to be engaged right now.
"All it means is that he may forget where he left the keys, or who he last talked to on the phone. It shouldn't be anything too serious and it should only be temporary."
"Well, that's good news." Kurt felt relieved. He had pictured Blaine waking up and not remembering Kurt's face.
"Yes." Dr. Connolly put his hand on Kurt's shoulder and continued, "I think you need to get out of this room and I'm about to take my break. Do you want to go get a cup of coffee from the cafeteria?"
No. He didn't want to. He wanted to stay with Blaine. Hold his hand and watch him. Kurt didn't want to miss anything, what if he woke up? Kurt had to be there when he did wake up. And Kurt definitely didn't want to go with Dr. Connolly. He had become too touchy-feely. He made Kurt uncomfortable, and yes, sure he made Kurt feel safe, but Kurt couldn't shake the feeling that he was just plain creepy. Kurt could feel the way Dr. Connolly looked at him when he thought Kurt wasn't looking, or the way David would constantly step closer to Kurt when talking, and how one night he even offered to stay with Kurt for the night. Wasn't it obvious? Kurt was in love with Blaine. He stayed there for Blaine. Dr. Connolly needed to take a hint, still Kurt replied to the coffee question with a simple, "Yeah."
A couple months passed. Nothing.
It was springtime. The time where Blaine and Kurt would go on long walks then come home and make endless, passionate love. But not this year. Kurt and Blaine wouldn't be able to laugh as they tried to see who could run faster, wouldn't be able to cuddle together late at night, wouldn't be able to feel just how in love they were. Kurt could feel it though. Kurt could feel how hopelessly in love he was still in love with the boy who couldn't move, who laid on the hospital bed endlessly. If it was even possible Kurt loved him more, he couldn't wait till the boy waked up. But everyday he didn't, every day that Blaine stayed unmoving on the bed; Kurt began to lose a little hope. And every day it seemed more and more likely that Blaine would wake up, the more Dr. Connolly seemed to care. He stayed in the room with Kurt often, and even tried to hold Kurt's hand and whisper hope into his ear. Kurt only allowed it on days that no one visited. When it was just him, alone with his thoughts and tears. Kurt hated that he allowed it, especially when
Blaine was right there, but Kurt needed those whispered hopes.
"Kurt?"
"Rachel." A smile appeared on Kurt's lips. "What are you doing here? Don't you have that audition?"
"No. That was yesterday, silly." Rachel crossed over to Kurt and dragged a chair next to the one Kurt was in, she leaned in and took Kurt's hand in hers and let her head rest on Kurt's shoulder. "So how he is?" Rachel's voice cracked a bit.
"The same I guess." Kurt replied. "The doctors keep saying that any day now he'll wake up. So I'm just waiting."
"It'll happen soon."
"I hope so. I miss him so much."
"I know you do. I do too."
"I miss his eyes looking at me, he always managed to make me feel loved without even having to say a word."
"He loves you."
"I know."
"You love him." It seemed more like a question than a statement.
"What?" Kurt was confused, what was that supposed to mean?
"Well." Rachel lifted her head from Kurt's shoulder and turned her head to look into his eyes. She still had a clasp on his hand.
"Well, what Rachel?"
"It's been three months."
"So?"
"Do you still love him?"
"What kind of question is that Rachel?" He dropped her hand.
"You still haven't answered the question."
"It doesn't need to be answered."
Rachel stared at Kurt.
"Are you totally stupid Rachel? How could I not love him? He is Blaine. He is the love of my freaking life. And I stay all day, every day, just hoping something will happen. I haven't even been to classes lately, because I just want to stay with him. And you, you Rachel Berry have the nerve to ask me if I still love him?"
"Sorry. It's just I've seen the way Dr. Connolly looks at you."
"Exactly Rachel. The way he looks at me, not the other way around."
"I know."
"Then why? Why ask that question and make me feel like a horrible person?"
"I was just wondering, if not being able to talk to him, had any effect."
"If it's possible, which I don't think it is, I love Blaine now more than ever."
"Really? You're not just saying that because you can't break up with him now, and you would never break up with him right after he wakes up?"
"Are you on crack Rachel Berry? I never want to break up with Blaine. I want to marry him, I want us to have a family. I want to grow old with him." The tears began to flow down Kurt's face, and Rachel grabbed his hand again and put her head against he shoulder. "I'm sorry." Rachel whispered, "I guess I didn't think."
"You're right you didn't think. I love Blaine. I'm in love with him, and nothing, not even a comma, can change how I feel about him."
"What if he is in this comma for years, Kurt?"
"Then it looks like I might be moving into a hospital, I will never leave his side. No matter what. He is my everything."
Rachel nodded and pressed her fingertips against Kurt's face to swipe away a tear. Rachel swore she could feel the love for Blaine radiating from Kurt.
A few days passed, Dr. Connolly's visits were far more numerous, and Kurt was becoming far more uncomfortable.
Dr. Connolly came into the hospital room and sat right next to Kurt. Without saying a word, he grabbed onto Kurt's hand and smiled. Kurt took his hand away from David and stood up. David looked confused and stood up alongside Kurt.
"Is everything alright, Kurt?"
"My boyfriend is in a comma."
"I know." David took Kurt's hand.
"Please stop." Kurt pleaded.
"Why? You know you like it?"
"No. I don't." Kurt stated firmly.
"Sure you do, you always let me hold your hand."
"Do you like me Dr. Connolly?"
"David."
"Do you like me, David?
"Of course I do." David took a step towards Kurt and closed the space between them. Before Kurt could do anything, David had pressed his lips onto Kurt's. Immediately, Kurt pushed David away from him, and slapped him across the face. David smiled and tried to kiss Kurt again. Kurt shoved him away.
"Get out." Kurt hissed at David.
"Come on, Kurt. I know you want me."
"There is no way in hell that I want you."
"Then what do you want?"
"Blaine."
"Well too fucking bad. He is NEVER waking up Kurt. So why don't you just accept it. Be with me. A real man, who can take a beating without being knocked into a comma."
"Shut up." Tears were streaming down Kurt's face.
"Blaine is never waking up Kurt. Get used to it, accept it."
"No, you told me any day now, he would wake up."
"I lied. We can be together now, Kurt."
"GET OUT NOW! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU'RE FACE AGAIN. You are a fucking liar and I won't listen to it anymore. I never wanted you to lay a finger on me. And you did. I'm going to contact the staff and tell them I want a new fucking doctor. One who knows to keep their hands to themselves. One who is actually helpful."
"You think I'm really helpful Kurt."
"Leave. Get out now, just leave. And I'm serious I never want to see your ugly ass face again."
"Whatever, Kurt, you'll be sorry."
"I'm only sorry that I let you continue to be Blaine's doctor this long." Dr. Connolly walked to the door and slammed it shut. Kurt's tears were drastically flowing. He tried to contain them, but it didn't work. He sobbed and walked over to the phone. He picked it up and began a series of phone calls. After about an hour or so of being on the phone, a new doctor was finally arranged for Blaine, and this time the doctor would be a woman.
When Kurt hung up the phone, he sat on the bed and laid next to the still Blaine. He wrapped his arm around him and took his hand into his own. Kurt cried and cried and began to whisper to Blaine, "Please forgive me. Please. Please. I'm so sorry. I should of known. If you were up, I know you would of spotted all the signs and told me to get a clue. I miss you so much Blaine. So much. I'm actually going insane from the fact that I can see you and touch you, but you're not here. I love you Blaine. I adore you and I never want you to leave me. Never. I'll never do anything to hurt you. I swear he kissed me, I swear it. I didn't want him to. I swear. Please. Come back to me Blaine. Kiss me, make everything all right. I love you. Blaine. Blaine. I love you." Kurt continued to whisper these words into Blaine's unhearing ear, until he drifted off to sleep. Kurt only awoke to begin to whisper his confession of love into Blaine's ear again. And that's when he felt the second twitch.