Lifting his tear stained face from the pillow, Kurt glanced at his alarm clock noticing the time. It was 6:32am. He lifted the picture from his nightstand and stroked it softly. Hugging it tightly to his chest he lay his head back down as his quiet tears evolved into loud, body shaking sobs.  When he woke 4 hours later He was still holding onto the picture. Sitting himself up to rest against his headboard he stared at the smiling couple in the picture. 

His dad and his stepmother, Carol, had looked amazing on their wedding day, which Kurt had planned by himself. His family of two had officially become a family of four......and now he was a family of one.  He couldnt believe that it had been a year but at the same time it seemed like so much longer had gone by.  Kurt wished he could go back to that night, to the last phone call hed made to his dad. He should have told them to stay in that night. He should have told them not to take Wellington Avenue. Hed tell them to watch out for the drunk driver at the intersection. Hed tell them to watch out for the tree that their car would slam into.  Kurt stroked the picture again, smiling softly at the smiling faces staring back at him.  Wiping the fresh tears from his face, he decided that today he going to be a slob. He wasnt going to give a shit about what anyone thought or who had made his outfit. He was going to wallow in his sadness and everyone else could fuck off.

An hour later, Kurt was showered and rubbing a face cream into his porcelain skin. He was forgoing his entire routine today so a light moisturiser was all he could be bothered with.  Walking over to his closet, he pulled on a pair of black yoga pants, a white t-shirt and a grey hoodie.  Pocketing his phone and wallet, he zipped himself up, grabbed his keys from his nightstand and left his apartment.

Within the hour he was finishing off the greasiest cheeseburger hed ever eaten and was washing it down with a diet coke. As much as he would have preferred the full fat version he didnt like the taste. His phone was on silent and kept vibrating in his hoodie pocket. Hed ignored it so far knowing that it would just be a string of messages from his friends asking if he was ok. Kurt scoffed and mumbled to himself that yeah he was just peachy. Checking his watch he noticed that it was approaching 1pm. Finishing off his drink, he threw $20 on the counter and left, looking for a bar - the gloomier the better.

Kurt was not disappointed when he found a grotty looking bar which suited his mood - from the outside at least. It didnt really fit in with the offices and coffee shops close by but Kurt didnt particularly care.  Taking a seat at the counter Kurt ordered a scotch and a vodka & lemonade.  He took his watch off and laid it in front of him beside the scotch.  He worked his way through 5 drinks, ordering a fresh one as soon as hed drained it.  Kurt sipped his vodka & lemonade slowly, watching the minutes tick by, edging closer to 2:53.  As the second hand reached the "11", Kurt lifted the glass and as soon as the time hit 2:53pm he downed the drink in one swallow. It burned the back of his throat as fresh tears built in his eyes.

"I love you and miss you Dad." He said quietly, not noticing someone take the seat beside him.

"Why so sad?"

Kurt turned and gasped as he was met with Blaines soft hazel eyes. Unable to contain himself, he lunged at Blaine, curling into his arms as he sobbed silently into the red shirt that now held him close.

Blaine didnt know what to do so he simply wrapped his arms around the crying man, held him tightly and whispered softly in his ear.

"Its ok baby, its ok. Shhh" Blaine rested his chin on Kurts head, allowing Kurt to take whatever comfort he needed. It was a full fifteen minutes before Kurt was able to collect himself. Blaine waited until Kurts breathing had evened out before he leant back and tried to meet his eyes.  "Stupid question, but are you ok?"

Kurt swallowed and tried to find his voice. Picking up his glass, he drained it to moisten his raw throat.

"No, Im not." Kurt shook his head before realising that Blaine probably had no idea what had happened. "Today is the one year anniversary of my dads death." Kurt said quietly, not missing Blaines sharp intake of breath and watery eyes.

"Burts.......I.....Kurt, Im so sorry." Blaine pulled Kurt back into his arms whilst trying to compose himself. "I had no idea. I know how much he meant to you, Kurt." Kurt nodded and pulled away from Blaines arms reluctantly.

"Um, Carol died in the same accident. Drunk driver pushed their car into a tree. They both died at the scene." 

Blaines hands flew to his mouth as he shook his head in disbelief. A single tear rolled down his left cheek as he tried to take in what Kurt had just told him.

"Kurt, Im so sorry. If Id known I would have called. I would have been there for you."

"You did." Kurt whispered.

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, feeling confused.

"I got the call at 4:15 that afternoon. Whilst I was talking to the police in Lima, you called me. Of course I ignored it...again...but you left me a voicemail. It was 4 days before I could bring myself to listen to the messages that had been left whilst I was in Lima dealing with the funeral arrangements but your message......you said that you got an urge to call me and wanted to make sure I was ok. You said that if I ever needed anything I could call you no matter what. I know I never called you back but your message really did help me.  I listened to it everyday for a week trying to build up the courage to call you but then it was the funeral and all the lawyer stuff. Your message helped calm me down during all that shit."

"Kurt, you dont have to explain yourself to me but Im glad I was able to help you." Blaine reached out to rub Kurts arm. Kurt rested his hand over Blaines, rubbing it with his thumb.

"You always turn up right when I need you." Kurt smiled very slightly and leaned in to kiss Blaine on the cheek softly. Blaine blushed, feeling a tingle in his face as Kurts lips touched his skin. Closing his eyes he breathed out shakily.

"How much have you had to drink today Kurt?" He asked gently, not wanting to upset Kurt anymore than he already was.

"Im not sure, maybe 2?" He admitted, as the bartender held up 6 fingers behind him. Blaine nodded at the bartender, dropped some bills on the counter, wrapped his arm around Kurt and led him out of the bar into the dull, grey city.

"Kurt, Im gonna take you home to rest, where do you live?" 

"Um, in my apartment." Kurt mumbled, the cold air making him feel dizzy.

"And precisely where is that?" Blaine chuckled softly, remembering how comical drink Kurt can be under different circumstances.

"Bushwick. Youve been there!" Kurt said, as if this should be obvious!

"Thats a bit far away, cmon, Im taking you back to my place."  Blaine pulled Kurt closer to him and walked to the kerb searching for a cab.

It took 30 minutes for Blaine to get Kurt into his apartment, made slightly more difficult by Kurt pressing every single button in the elevator causing them to stop at every single floor in the 25 storey building. Blaine couldnt even be annoyed as Kurts drunken giggling from the corner of the elevator kept making him smile.

Now, 2 hours later he was standing in the doorway of his guest bedroom watching the man he loved sleep soundly. Crossing the room quietly he knelt down beside the bed and gently brushed a stray hair away from Kurts face.

"Mmm.... Blaine..." Kurt murmured drowsily. Blaine smiled softly and left the bedroom as quietly as hed entered. 

Shutting the door to his own bedroom, Blaine carefully lifted a small box from the top shelf of his closet. He took out the picture of him, Kurt & Burt at Kurts graduation. He sat on the end of his bed for a few minutes mourning the loss of one of the finest men hed ever known.

That evening, Blaine was sitting on his couch eating a sandwich as Kurt wandered out of the guest bedroom clinging to the unfamiliar walls.

"Where the fuck am I?" He asked to no-one in particular.

"Youre in my apartment. It was closer than yours. I hope thats ok?" Kurt jumped slightly, not expecting to hear Blaines voice. He hadnt known where he was but despite finding himself in the last place he expected to be, Kurt felt surprisingly calm.  Blaine patted the couch beside him so Kurt crossed the room and sat down, taking the sandwich Blaine offered him.

"PB&J? Blaine, really?" Kurt smiled as Blaine grinned goofily.

As the evening turned into the small hours of the morning, Kurt & Blaine chatted easily on the couch reminiscing about Burt and remembering all the silly conversations they had had with him.  As Kurt listened to Blaine tell him how hed approached Burt at his garage about having a sex talk with Kurt, he found himself wishing hed never let Blaine go so easily. 

"I should have fought for us more." He announced as Blaine stared at him with his mouth open slightly.

"I...um....I dont know what to say to that." Blaine admitted.

"I dont expect you to. Blaine, I fucked up by letting you go and not fighting to get past what happened. I was mad at you for so long but I realised that I was just as much to blame as you were." Kurt held his hand up as Blaine tried to speak. "I forgave you so long ago. I hope you can forgive me too. I really miss my best friend."  Blaine sat back against the couch, slightly stunned at Kurts words.

"Kurt, I have nothing to forgive you for despite what you may think.  I missed you too and I really want my best friend back too." Blaine smiled as Kurt rubbed his knee.

"Friends?" Kurt held his hand out, his face full of hope.

"Friends." Blaine agreed, pushing Kurts hand away and enveloping him in a hug.

"You still give the best hugs." Kurt said, his head tucked into Blaines neck.  

Settling back against the couch, Blaine pulled Kurt with him as they enjoyed being in the arms theyd missed.