061 - This godforsaken hour

The first time Blaine wakes up is because of a loud car horn outside, just as the first sunrays are finding the room. They are the first thing he sees as he opens his eyes, dancing on the wall in front of him. There's an arm around him, he realises. And a warm body against his back. A warm, half-naked body, and that's something that hasn't happened in a long while. He feels the softest of breezes on the back of his head, and realises that it must be Kurt breathing in his sleep. Kurt.

Images of last night are slowly crawling into his head and taking control of his conscious brain activity. It had been perfect, in so many ways, not because either of them was super skilled in bed, but simply because it was them and it had been comfortable and fun and hot as hell. He feels more relaxed and satisfied to just be than he has for a long time. He thinks, if he was a cat he would be purring right now, but he's more like a puppy in general, so it won't do. Then he lets out a small chuckle at the level of ridiculous his thoughts have reached. But, if he feels like being stupid, then so be it. It's quite easy to be amused by everything, because he simply feels good. Great. Awesome. Amazing. Take your pick, he thinks, I'm not that stingy.

He realises he's grinning all by himself, while Kurt is still deep asleep behind him, and it's not such a bad thing at all. Kurt's sleep warm, bare chest is pressed against his back, and he feels his own body move almost imperceptibly with Kurt's breathing. That makes him feel a strong surge of affection towards Kurt, because really, could he be any more wonderful, there and all Blaine's to enjoy in this moment of time. He tries to move a little, but Kurt's hand tightens around him at the movement, and ok then. Blaine is completely fine with just staying there and not moving. No problem at all. It's too early to get up anyway. It's Sunday for God's sake, and he's in bed with Kurt after their first time.

Slowly Blaine is lulled back into a half asleep state, where's he's aware of the place but the time ebbs away and looses it's importance. Eventually, though, he feels Kurt shuffle a bit and then snuggle closer, and he knows Kurt is waking up. He turns around so that he can see the pretty face slowly return back to the world. It's the first time he has the chance to see Kurt waking up, as the few times they had actually slept together before he had missed it. It seems Kurt is generally an early riser, so Blaine is not going to miss his chance now. He takes in the way Kurt's eyelashes flutter but don't open yet, and his nose crunches slightly in dismay. It's way too adorable to be allowed, so Blaine has no other choice but to kiss it away.

He feels the slow turn of Kurt's lips beneath his own, as he smiles against his lips. Kurt breaks the lazy kiss after just a few seconds and squints at the clock on the night stand. Then he frowns and pouts at Blaine, eyes still half squeezed shut against the too bright light.

"Why are we awake at this godforsaken hour?"

"You are usually up at this hour," Blaine raises his eyebrow.

"Not on Sundays," Kurt whines pitifully.

"It's a pretty good morning, though," Blaine can't help the grin, really. It's getting to the point of being painful, but he just feels so content. And Kurt is such a wonderful creature that he just can't keep it in. Kurt lets out a smile of his own at Blaine's words.

"It is," he confirms, with a small nod just as his eyes slip back closed. He burrows a little closer to Blaine so that he can press his head in Blaine chest. "Perfect," he sighs contentedly.

"The morning or me?" Blaine asks, teasing.

"The shield against light your chest provides to my eyes, actually," Kurt corrects him cheekily. Blaine can hear the same satisfaction and happy contentment he feels in Kurt's voice. He can feel it, in the way Kurt wraps his arms around him and sighs. It seems easy to be silly, when you feel this good. Blaine's pretty sure being silly is a natural and inevitable part of it.

Before last night, he had worried a little, what kind of reaction he should expect from Kurt during the morning after. How he should act like,what he should say, to not freak him out. But now, he's not even thinking about it, he just does what he feels like doing. It had been a beautiful night, and Kurt had been just as happy to fall asleep together, even though it had been a bit too early for sleeping, and now they are waking up and it's just as beautiful a morning, and he knows there really is nothing he needs to worry about. Everything feels just right.

After a short while of just enjoying the feeling of waking up while holding a warm body, Blaine sighs and turns on his back, as Kurt goes to lay his head on his chest. Blaine puts his hand on the back of Kurt's head and plays with his hair absently, as Kurt starts drawing circles on Blaine's stomach.

"How are you feeling?" Blaine asks quietly.

"Full." Blaine hums, because he gets it. It's a very good description of how he feels as well.

"No regrets?" he wants to check, even though he's pretty sure he knows the answer.

"None whatsoever," Kurt answers firmly, but with a soft voice. After a short hesitation, he continues with the slightest hint of uncertainty "… you?"

"God, no," Blaine emphasises, aiming to kill Kurt's potential insecurities in the bud. "I don't even remember when I've regretted something less than this." Kurt answers by wiggling around to find a way to press even closer to Blaine as he squeezes him almost painfully tight for a second. Blaine's confident he got the message across.

"We should sleep some more," Blaine says, after he yawns widely and Kurt is immediately infected with it and yawns too. "It is a godforsaken hour after all."

"Your logic is impeccable," Kurt giggles lightly to his chest. The easy ring of Kurt's laugh makes Blaine's stomach flutter in an interesting way, and he's not sure if it's only because of the vibration.

/

The second time Blaine wakes up there is no obvious reason for it, but he feels perfectly rested, so maybe it's just that. He takes in the room, and the way the sun is much higher now, and sees that it's been two hours since he fell back asleep. Kurt is nowhere to be seen, but he hears some clanging of pans and dishes in the kitchen, so that's probably where Kurt is. He shifts to get up, but then he notices something lying on the bed next to him. It's an old looking notebook, not one Blaine has seen before, lying open with a pen on top. Something is written there and he picks it up and reads even though he knows he shouldn't without permission. He's just really curious, and It's open right there like an invitation.

I'm memorizing you

how your eyelashes catch the sun
and draw paintings on the wall

I'm memorizing
how frantic a heart can get
simply because I breathe in the air
that has been in your lungs
has moved your chest

somehow I'm here
watching the sun unwrap you slowly
taking off all the layers of night and dark

I'm still learning
and all is still for a second
unmoving
frozen in time, and in place
as I'm memorizing you.

He knows it's about him, and the thought of Kurt writing this poem while watching him sleep almost hurts in it's intensity. The words are so beautiful, and honest, and even if it's a little raw and unrefined, it's capable of catching his breath. He turns the pages in awe, and sees that the book is filled with poems, mostly dated years ago, but the last ten or so pages are filled with new writing, the ink still looking fresh, and he knows they have to be recent. He flips through and he catches a line here and there, lines like Some nights I dream of walking, and The air I breathe is only mud and dreams and forgotten somewhere, and The only real choice is between death and reincarnation.

He puts the book down before he can read too much. The only thought he can think of is that he had no idea Kurt wrote poems, or anything at all. Although, now that he thinks about it, it makes sense. Kurt studies literature, and more than that, he practically lives in the library, or at least used to. Words are his safe haven, so it's almost natural he would write his own. Why hadn't Kurt told him? Why didn't he tell him that he was so good at it? And then Kurt is suddenly there, and there is no doubt that Kurt has already realised Blaine had read his poem, as his eyes widen and he turns just a little bit paler. His expression settles to something akin to worry and insecurity and fear. He goes immediately to take the book and holds it to his chest.

"I didn't mean for you to read that." His voice is small and a little desperate.

"Why?"

"I didn't… They're… private. And they're not.. good, they're just my thoughts and…" Kurt seems get lost trying to find the words.

"I didn't read much, just the one you wrote.. about me. It was beautiful, Night sky. Why would you be afraid to show them?"

"I've never showed anyone… And they're kind of.. important, to me. They're also really personal, and I just…."

"Come here," Blaine pats the bed next to him, and Kurt sits down carefully, still looking like a skittish bunny on lookout for the smallest sign of danger.

"I promise I didn't read more than just a few lines here and there, except that poem from today. And I really hope you're not afraid to let me know the feelings you wrote in that one, because I feel exactly the same." He pulls Kurt and his book in a tight embrace. He feels Kurt relax after a while.

"Do you really think the poem was good?" Kurt finally asks.

"I really think it was good," he confirms with a smile. "You're really talented."

"There's a dream in my book you might not have seen before," Kurt whispers then, as if he doesn't quite dare to say it out loud, "It goes something like 'One day I want to get my poems published.'"

"I have no doubt that you will," Blaine says, entirely convinced. "And then you can dedicate your book to your cute boyfriend… and his ridiculous bed head," Blaine adds, laughing, as he feels Kurt's fingers tugging at his gel free curls. "But seriously, you are way too good to deny the world your poems." He smiles, and he means it.

Maybe I won't," Kurt whispers in his ear and there's a smile in his voice.

"Good," he whispers back, and then they're kissing again. But after just a minute Blaine's stomach rumbles, demanding attention, and Kurt pulls away laughing.

"Get up. I made breakfast and it's getting cold."

"Only if you'll let me read the rest of your poems later," Blaine pouts.

"Maybe, if you're a good boy and empty your plate."

062 - No labels

'102. I want to rebel against the rules and all that's good and proper.'

"This can't be old."

"It's one of the newest, actually. I wrote it last autumn, right after the taekwondo photo shoot."

"And you don't think it would actually come true?"

"Well, to be honest, I'm not really the kind of person who wants to defy all the rules and social norms. It's just the voice of a Kurt who was really frustrated at his weakness. I guess I still am in some ways, but it's not like I want to take tattoos, shave my head, pierce my tongue and go dealing drugs for a fun pastime."

"Yeah, I guess I get that. The mental image is pretty hot, though. You'd make one sexy delinquent, Night sky."

"That could be my gang name."

"It's pretty gay for a gang name, though."

"Are you saying you gave me a deliberately 'gay' pet name, darling?"

"Maybe I did... God, I really want to shoot this dream. I enjoy the idea of you rebelling."

"I think there are quite enough bad boy Kurt photos in the collection already, Blaine. People would start to get the wrong impression."

"Hm. I guess your right."

"I am."

"But we could still do it. 'Rules' and 'proper' can be interpreted as many things, right?"

"Like what?"

"Like rules of gravity and the proper way to wear your clothes. You know, all things we don't even think could be something else than what or how they are?"

"Colour me intrigued."

"Well, the idea is still refining itself, but.."

/

It's Friday afternoon and Kurt walks into their regular coffee shop, delighting in the little ding of the door bell that tells him the classes are over for the week and he can relax. Blaine's not going to be there until later, but Kurt has no problem with sitting around for an hour or two just taking in the place and watching the people. Watching people has always been enjoyable to him, but it's better than before, now that he's starting to feel like he's one of them. Just one of the crowd, and not an outsider on the campus, or in the city, or on the planet for that matter. He's just one of them.

He orders his usual coffee and goes to sit at the only free table, and only when he's put his bag down and settled in the chair, he realises that Zach and Aino are sitting in the next table. He's already opening his mouth to greet them, but then his eyes zero in on their hands. Hands that are held tightly together on the table, in a way that screams more-than-friends. The shy smiles they are shooting each other, so uncharacteristic to both of them, are telling the same story. It's like he's seeing a new couple on their first date, and for all Kurt knows, that's exactly what they are. There's no way he's going to interrupt that, and he has no intention of eavesdropping, but he had promised to wait for Blaine in the café, and there are no free tables, and besides, if he gets up now, he's certainly going to catch their attention. Then Aino and Zach would certainly ask him to sit with them, even though he'd clearly be interrupting something tender and important, that should not be interrupted. In conclusion, he has no other choice but to stay at his table, try to be inconspicuous enough for them not to notice him, and try not to hear anything they say. Luckily the couple is way too concentrated on each other to notice anything around them. Somewhat less luckily, Kurt simply can't help hearing them, though in all honesty he could be trying a little harder than he is. But at least he's not watching!

"I just can't believe we met in there of all places." Zach's voice is full of disbelief and happiness.

"Yeah… I really had no idea. About you." Aino is looking Zach in the eye with a soft smile, and yeah, maybe Kurt is watching a little.

"Me neither.. so are you..?" What? Are you what? Ok, so, Kurt's getting a bit more invested in this than he should be, but so far the conversation has just been all mysterious and so, so interesting.

"Well, it's not that simple. I wouldn't give myself that label, it's not so straightforward to me. But on the big spectrum of things, I'm certainly nearer to your end of the line than on the nympho end." Wait, what? What are they talking about? What is Zach's end of the line? And why does this sound familiar?

"So why did you decide to come to the meeting?" What meeting? I want answers! No, I should not want any answers. And I really should not be listening to this.

"I read about it online, and I thought, why not? I guess I just wanted some answers and see if I could find out something new about myself. I had no idea you are a regular there."

"Well, it's not something I advertise, not that I'm embarrassed or anything. I just don't feel like it's anyone's business, until it becomes relevant information in one way or another. "

"Yeah, I guess so. I wish I had known before, though.. Because, well.. you know." Aino is blushing and squeezing Zach's hand, and looking all adorable in a way she usually isn't with her calm exterior. It seems to be working on Zach, based on the slightly awed expression.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you know now." Know what? Kurt feels both sick with himself and sick with curiosity at the same time.

That's when Zach suddenly looks up and sees Kurt sitting in the table next to them, probably looking exactly like he's been eavesdropping and then got caught. Zach frowns a bit, as if he's getting angry, but then he surprises Kurt in a way he never thought Zach could, after getting used to his unpredictability.

"Hey, Kurt, nice to see you! Although, you could have just joined us and asked, instead of listening in. We could have been spilling secrets here!" Zach's voice is teasing, and a bit overly confident and happy to be completely true, but his words seem honest anyway. Kurt looks at Aino then, not knowing what to expect, but what he sees is the calm girl, who doesn't show her emotions in her face or actions. She simply nods at him in greeting, and gives him a small smile. Kurt still feels absolutely horrible about the whole thing. He feels like he's singlehandedly ruined everything, because he just is that guy, the guy who destroys with every touch and move he makes.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry, I couldn't help hearing.. I mean, I didn't realise you were there until I'd already settled down and you looked like it was something really important, and I couldn't get up without making you notice me and so I just.. God, I'm just so sorry…" Kurt is feeling flustered and honestly, he would probably run, if he didn't know that these two are one of his best friends and he wants do whatever he can not to hurt them or to push them away. He stays and fumbles to explain, because all the while he blames himself and calls himself all the bad names he can think of in his head, he still wants to hold on to his friends and the Kurt he has found with them. He's learned to be selfish enough to not let go, and even if to others staying and explaining would seem the normal thing to do, to Kurt it's monumental. Because he did not run.

"It's ok," Aino smiles and Zach quickly agrees.

"It must have been awkward for you, too," he laughs lightly, and Kurt's heart aches with the amount of simple acceptance Zach is capable of. He's not even angry at Kurt for listening in a very private conversation; instead, he implies that he sympathises with Kurt.

"I'm asexual, in case you were wondering," Zach just lets out, like it's nothing. And maybe it really isn't. It comes as a complete surprise, but he should know better than anyone that sexuality is just one small part of a person. Zach looks at Aino with a question in his eyes.

"He already knows about me," Aino answers and shoots a friendly smile to Kurt. It's all Zach needs to continue.

"I go to this meeting for asexual people every month. Yesterday evening I went there like usual and then I saw Aino there.. It was a shock, to say the least. We started talking in there, because you know, the shock and all that, and afterwards we went to a bar nearby and talked some more, and somehow we got to this," Zach raises his and Aino's still intertwined hands in demonstration, "and then agreed to meet for a date and see what happens. So far, it's going great," he gives a teasing smile at Aino, "Although, I did not expect you to join us," he winks at Kurt. Kurt blushes and looks down in guilt.

"It's really ok, Kurt. We're only just figuring this whole thing out, and I think you would have found out about us pretty soon anyway. You're my best friend in this country, after all," Aino says, and suddenly Kurt finds himself hugging her tightly and then giving Zach a somewhat awkward hug as well, because he's simply so thankful that he has such good friends, and also because he's just really happy for them. He's been hoping and waiting for this, and though he missed one crucial piece of the puzzle, he's glad it worked out anyway.

When Blaine joins them a bit later, Zach tells him the story of Kurt becoming the third wheel like a joke, right after he's told him about him and Aino seeing each other in the asexuals meeting. Suddenly Kurt's embarrassment isn't so bad anymore, and he's almost shocked to see, how easy it was to get over the situation, when he stayed and tried to solve it. Blaine positively beams with happiness for his friend and Kurt thinks it's a beautiful look on Blaine. Just like Zach and Aino look really beautiful together, even if they aren't labelled as anything just yet.

/

The next day they all go to shoot their next photo for the exhibit. The concept of it makes Kurt thrilled, because he really enjoys the absurdity of it, but it's also a little bit sad, because this is going to be one of the last, if not the last photo they make for the exhibit. Even if Blaine has promised to take pictures of Kurt, they won't be taken for this project. Although it's already the second time he's saying goodbye to the project, it still feels sad. But the sadness is quickly pushed to the back of his head, as he, Blaine,Rachel, Aino and Zach set up the scene on the messy backyard of Kurt and Rachel's building.

They've found a broken bed, abandoned in the basement, and together with a old mattress it provides the perfect prop for them. They set the bed upside down in front of the graffitied tile wall of the building, on the cracked asphalt. The set the mattress between the legs of the bed, and then cover it with a table cloth, wrong side up of course. Kurt is dressed in a floral dress and Aino in a suit, both put on inside out. They sit down on the edge of the bed, decked with a fancy dinner set and a flower pot in the middle, and pretend to eat imaginary food from their empty plates. It's looks wierd and stupid, and not at all artistic, and Blaine takes the photos purposefully against all the rules of aesthetics and proper positioning. The photos turn out ridiculous and ugly and absolutely perfect.

063 - The beautiful butterfly he is

Blaine returns from the bathroom after a fairly long shower and sees Kurt standing in front of the window, looking down at the street below, with the broken street light that still hasn't been fixed, with unseeing eyes. The sun has just gone down, the last of the light still lingering there amongst the city lights, working together to paint Kurt's face with soft orange. What makes him stop and not announce his presence is the very familiar expression on his face. He looks just like he did when Blaine first saw him, all those months ago on the second floor of the university library, when the sun painted a halo in Kurt's hair and Blaine couldn't help taking a picture. The boy he once named Snow white is back, the boy who is ethereally beautiful and not quite real. He wonders what has made Kurt feel like that again, and he realises he never really found out what Kurt had been thinking the first time around.

He takes a few steps closer, but as Kurt doesn't seem to notice him, Blaine calls his name to not scare him. It makes Kurt start a little anyway, but when he turns around and takes in Blaine's ready-to-bed form, he lets out a small smile and a little bit of Blaine's Night sky settles in his expression, alongside the unattached Snow white. Blaine takes it as an invitation, and goes to wrap his arms around Kurt from behind, settling his head on his upper back and holding his arms on his stomach. Kurt puts his hands on Blaine's and leans back a little, sighing.

"What are you thinking?" Blaine asks.

"How much things can change," Kurt's voice is contemplative and neutral. Blaine hums as a prompt for Kurt to continue.

"My life used to be a monochrome. All painted in one colour."

"And now?"

"Now there are so many colours. It's beautiful, but also overwhelming. I can't predict the next splash of paint anymore." Blaine let's the quiet remain, let's Kurt have this moment without any pushing, just being there for him as a support and another presence.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Kurt asks after a few minutes, that neither of them is counting.

"Yes, you reminded me of it just now."

"I was remembering it just now."

"What were you thinking?" Blaine isn't sure if he's asking about tonight or the day they met, but it doesn't really matter, anyway.

"I was watching the people outside, just like now, except it was summer and midday. I watched them and they all looked so small, and I felt like nothing but an observer. But now I'm looking down, from much higher than the library windows were, and it all looks so huge. I feel like I'm not separated anymore, like it's part of me or I'm part of it, I don't know. It's scary, and wonderful… and scary." Blaine pulls Kurt tighter against him, as if to show that they are part of each other too. That Blaine is there, and this time he is part of Kurt's moment and not just the observer who took a photo.

"What do you dream of, right now?" The question comes out of nowhere, but when it's out there, it seems like the most logical thing to ask.

"I want to write a book." Kurt's answer is fast and unfaltering, almost like he had been expecting the question.

"What kind of book?" Blaine breathes in the subtle smell of his boyfriend, and thinks how much Kurt and his dreams and his feelings have grown to mean to him. He wants Kurt to have it all, perhaps even more than he wishes the same for himself.

"Poems… I want to write what it feels like to finally join the world around you."

"It sounds beautiful." It's all Blaine can say, really, because what else is there? Just a week ago Kurt had been so insecure and wary, biting his lip and looking away as he offered Blaine his poetry notebook to read. And now, Kurt says he's ready to show his poems to the whole world. And isn't that exactly what Kurt is all about? He can be hurt and insecure in so many ways, and yet he always pushes through and finds some unknown strength and courage and passion inside him to survive and even thrive.

Kurt turns around then, and presses his forehead against Blaine's, closing his eyes and breathing in deep. He let's out a sigh of contentment, or of relief, or simply because of existing, Blaine isn't sure which, but it sounds like a promise, somehow. Blaine keeps his hold around Kurt firm and he smiles a little when he feels Kurt's arms tighten around him as well.

"I'm so glad you're here," Kurt sighs, and Blaine is left to realise, again, exactly how much things have changed. He can feel now, how Kurt has learned to trust him in a way, that letting Blaine in is almost effortless and natural, and it feels better than he could have ever expected. He's been allowed to hug the Night sky, who is Blaine's boyfriend and friend, and the occasionally emerging Songbird, the happy son of a loving mother, but now he's allowed close to the still lingering Snow white, too.

"I used to call you Snow white, before I knew your name." Blaine whispers into Kurt's shoulder, with a smile in his voice. It makes Kurt pull away quite suddenly, to look into his eyes, with something close to confusion and slight hurt, and Blaine realises a little bit too late that the name can be taken in a wrong way.

"Why?" Kurt asks, half-consciously pulling away from Blaine's arms, but Blaine keeps his hold firm.

"Oh, it was never like what you're thinking, I swear. You just looked like the most beautiful guy on campus, if not the country, and you were there looking all unreal and detached, so the name just came to me. Besides, I had just been watching the movie." Blaine let's his smile show all the affection and awe that came with the name, so that Kurt wouldn't misunderstand. Kurt stopped fighting against his hold and let himself be pulled closer again, smiling.

"You're such a dork," he says, and it's almost like a caress, or a declaration of some sort, the way Kurt says it.

"I am." he confirms happily, still holding Kurt in the hug that must have lasted for at least fifteen minutes now. He's not complaining. After a while, he adds "I haven't seen Snow white for a long time, though. I had almost missed him."

"What do you mean, haven't seen him?" Kurt asks, confused.

"Well, Snow white is just reserved for the moments when you get all otherworldly and unreal. Night sky is the real you, Snow white is just the not quite there Kurt you sometimes turn into, when you're lost in thoughts. Like today, before we started talking."

"Ah.." Kurt hums in Blaine shoulder. Then he lets out an amused giggle. "You really are a dork. Who comes up with these names? First Night sky, and now Snow white. I think I should be offended."

"But you're not," Blaine laughs back. "And, technically, Snow white was first, you just didn't know about it."

"I'm really should figure out a name for you, too, soon."

"Great. I'm waiting with bated breath, but meanwhile, you can still call me darling. I quite like it when you do, even though it's only when you want to prove a point or be sarcastic." Blaine's voice is cheeky, but what he says is true. Kurt has called him 'darling' a few times, when he's felt like making fun of him, and Blaine can't help the little swoop in his stomach every time, even if the name is used only as a sarcastic comment. It's still a pet name, and there's this hidden affection behind it, every time, like Kurt wants Blaine to be his darling.

Kurt lets out a snort. "I don't even know why I'm still with you, darling." He makes the pet name exaggeratingly sugary to make his point.

"It's because you love me, sweetie pie," Blaine says back in the same horrible syrup voice.

"I guess I do," Kurt answers with another giggle and Blaine surprises him by picking him up, bridal style, and carries him to the bed. He throws Kurt there unceremoniously and jumps after him, starting a tickle fight with lots of rolling around and laughing hysterically. Blaine is really happy that Rachel isn't going to be back until later, because this is frankly a bit ridiculous. But he loves it. Wait- love. Blaine stops abruptly, still holding Kurt's wrists next to his head, half sitting on him. Kurt stops too, looking alarmed at the sudden stop, but keeps wiggling a little to get released.

"Did you just say you love me?" Blaine asks, almost silently, staring at Kurt's eyes as if they hold all the secrets of the universe. Kurt sucks in a deep breath, and freezes completely under Blaine's hold. His eyes widen in a way that would be almost comical, if anything could be comical at the very moment.

"I…" Kurt starts and blushes redder than Blaine's seen in months, looking away, biting his lip.

"Did you mean it?" Blaine's question is near silent, and he's still holding Kurt down, hoping he would turn his head back so Blaine could see his eyes again.

"Yes.." comes the impossibly quiet whisper, through lips that are still firmly held between his teeth.

"Me too," Blaine smiles and Kurt turns his head back fast to hold his eyes. His look is almost incredulous with disbelief.

"Really?" he asks, shocked. As if he still can't quite believe that Blaine cares about Kurt the same way he does about Blaine, and it's almost sad.

"Of course I do, silly," he says, letting go of his wrist to press his hand over Kurt's heart. It's beating fast, and he realises his is, too. "Is it really that hard to believe?" Blaine can hear the pleading in his own voice, and suddenly Kurt surges up and kisses him strongly, passionately, freeing his other wrist and pushing both hands in Blaine's hair.

"I guess not," Kurt breathes out with a soft pant, after finally ending the kiss. They smile at each other with silly grins that can only be described as completely smitten, and then they proceed to take advantage of the fact that Rachel is not home yet.

/

It's been three days, living on the high of knowing that Kurt loves him and realising that he actually loves Kurt back. They've been almost sickeningly sweet days, filled with fluffy clouds and dream castles and rainbows and unicorns, because Kurt loves him and he loves Kurt. He's almost waiting for the thing that finally returns him back to reality, because he knows this floating can't last forever. But then again, he's in no hurry, because while he would never do drugs, he really doesn't mind this high. The reality call comes with a beep from his phone. He picks it up to read a text from Kurt.

I just got hit on by an Englishman - Kurt

… -Blaine

What? - Blaine

Yes. His name's Adam and he came to talk to me when I was waiting for Rachel in NYADA, looking at some club ads. Apparently he has his own glee club called Adam's apples. -Kurt

Is he handsome? ;) -Blaine

Very. He gave me his number. Maybe I should call him. :) -Kurt

Something about the whole conversation twists his stomach uncomfortably. Blaine knows Kurt is telling this to him because it's a funny story, and it means nothing more than that. He has no doubt that Kurt is expecting him to laugh at the whole thing with him, and maybe he's just sharing the happiness of the fact that someone thought he was attractive and worth hitting on. Blaine can understand that and it doesn't make him feel any kind of resentment.

The painful thing is, that Kurt has changed, just like he had said himself. Kurt has come out of his shell as the beautiful butterfly he is, and Blaine can no longer keep him all to himself. It's not like he would want to keep Kurt as the shy and timid boy, of course not, he's so happy and proud of Kurt for getting out there and joining the world, just like the theme of his future poetry book says. It's just that, with the joy he feels for Kurt comes the realisation that his hold on Kurt isn't that tight anymore. Kurt could fly away, if he wanted. Kurt has wings now and Blaine isn't so desperately needed.

He knows it's his own insecurity speaking, the voice that always says that if he's not needed and useful, he can be tossed away very easily. He know that it's all in his head, and not what Kurt is thinking at all, but the feeling is still very real. An Adam from NYADA could easily come and take Kurt away, and with the photo project finished and Kurt's fear of the world cured, Blaine feels this horrible feeling in his gut that he he's hold on Kurt is weak, and his fingers could easily slip. And he really doesn't want to lose the love he just found.

I wish you'd rather call me instead. I miss you. :) -Blaine