055 - Listen to Blaine, for once

For the second time in a month, Blaine finds himself at home. The biggest difference is that Cooper is there too, so the attention of their parents is divided. It's mostly on Cooper, though, because he has recently got a role in a real movie, a fairly small one but a spoken role still. Initially, their parents had scoffed at Cooper's dream to become an actor and tried to force him to become something else instead. But eventually, when he didn't give up and moved to LA to pursue his dreams despite their parents' disapproval, they somehow figured out that his persistence was admirable, and as long as he eventually made it big, they supported it fully. Because, God forbid their child to be a failure, no matter what the field is. Cooper seems more than happy to hog all the attention that first evening, and Blaine is equally happy to let him, as he has no desire to talk about his courses and grades with them.

He's happy to keep from the subject of his studies, because that autumn he's spent quite a lot of time and effort on his and Kurt's project and because of that he hasn't spent as much time on some of his other, less interesting classes and hadn't gotten all A's for them. That doesn't mean he's done badly - he had still been well above average - but above average would never be enough for his parents, who are aware that he can do better. And, as much as he doesn't want to admit it, Blaine has always done everything to get their approval, and just the imagined version of them being disappointed and telling him that he should have known better makes him feel worthless and a failure. He's learned to live for himself and his own dreams during the years in Dalton and especially in New York, but with his parents he's still the same Blaine, who wants to be perfect in their eyes, even if their perfect is so far from what he himself believes 'perfect' means. With them he's still the Blaine who lives for the praise of his parents and fears the moment when he eventually fails too bad and their love is going to end.

He still hasn't told them about Kurt, either, and he's not sure if he even wants to. He has a strong suspicion that his parents have some criteria for a good boyfriend for their son, just like they have for the said son himself, and it's most likely not simply making their son happy. Blaine's going to keep the news about Kurt to himself as long as he can, as he doesn't want to hear their questions about whether Kurt's a good student or what his ambitions are when they should be asking how they met and how much Blaine adores him.

The first few days back Blaine meets his friends from Dalton, attends a dinner or two with some family acquaintances and relatives, and spends a lot time with Cooper, mostly listening to him talking about LA and his auditions, and giving Blaine acting tips. Blaine tries to remind that his performer days are over and he's studying to become a photographer, but Cooper somehow misses the memo. It's still nice to be with his brother, because no matter how self-centered and conceited Cooper might be and how much he believes Blaine could and should learn from him, he's never actually said he's dissapointed or made Blaine feel like a failure. He's strangely supportive, even if his way of showing it is a bit twisted. There was a time when Blaine believed Cooper didn't care about him, but they've grown closer lately and he's learned that Cooper doesn't really care whether their parents approve of him or not, and that when it comes to it, he's on Blaine's side.

On Christmas eve Blaine's parents finally turn their full, undivided attention to Blaine and he can't avoid the questions anymore. They ask him of his courses and grades, and Blaine is forced to tell them that he didn't get all A's this semester. He tries to pull attention to the fact, how well his creative photography class went and how much the teacher liked it, but he can't mention the possible exhibition as he doesn't know if Kurt will even agree to it yet, so it's definitely not enough to appease them. The explanation that that one course had taken time from the others is not helping his case.

"Blaine," his father's tone is admonishing, "you can do better than that. You should have learned by now how to divide your time so that you will get optimal results from all. I'm sure if you'd spent less hours for that class, you'd gotten better grades overall. Why would that one course be so important to you?" And of course his parents are unable to understand, what personal interest and being really excited about something means. They understand doing well in class because of wanting to succeed. The notion of doing more than is needed and sacrificing something else important because of personal enjoyment and inspiration goes over their heads.

And that's when Blaine starts to think of Kurt. Kurt, who had just recently decided to fight the world he fears to find a happier life, Kurt who had faced his fear of being ridiculed and told Blaine about all of his insecurities. Kurt who had been the sole purpose and inspiration of his project, and who had deserved all the undivided attention and extra work that Blaine had given their project, and would deserve much more. Kurt, who is so much more important than some stupid grades, that were more than good enough for Blaine anyway. Suddenly he's angry. He's angry and he wants defend himself and defend Kurt and defend the fact that there is other things more important in this life than school, and work, and grades, and getting far in life. And while he's felt this way before, this time the image of Kurt fighting to change the things that are wrong in his life is dancing in his head, and he wants to be that brave too. He wants to face his fears and know that Kurt will be there to believe in him even if his parents won't understand him. He wants to tell his parents his real opinion, for once, even if it's something they would not accept.

"That class and project was important to me, because I was helping a friend with it, we were making art together and making some of his dreams come true with those photos. It was important, because I loved the whole idea, it inspired me and I wanted to express myself and my feelings with it. It was important, because I had a chance to give something big to a friend and make a chance in his life, and because I enjoyed it and it made my life better, more interesting and more exciting. It was important, because I found a person I really care for, a boyfriend, while doing it, and it made me happy. That's why it was important. Not because of grades, that frankly are good enough for me not to have to worry about them at all. Besides, I believe this project helped me learn about my future job much more than the other courses did, anyway." His voice has been somewhat calm and even controlled through the speech, even though he really wants to shout and scream. He can't do that, though. Even this has been more than he's ever dared to do, and he doesn't want to make his parents mad anyway, he just wants them to listen to him, for once.

"Blaine-" his mother starts, with a surprisingly kind voice, but Blaine can't face the rest now. Suddenly their disapproval seems way too much for him to bear. He knows he should, but he just can't stay and finish the conversation. He doesn't want to hear the disappointment that he already feels in his bones. And he can't deal with the boyfriend questions he knows would come as he accidentally let the news slip, either. So he gets up, mutters an apology and flies to his room. He immediately goes to open his computer and Skype, almost cries in relief when he sees Kurt online too, and calls him.

/

"Blaine, hi!" Kurt's face appears on the screen, so obviously happy to see him that Blaine feels instantly better. Despite the distance, Kurt is somehow more there than he's family has been the whole time.

"Kurt.." Blaine starts, and then pours out everything he just did, how he faced his parents like this for the first time in his life, how he went against their opinion and voiced his own. He tells how he let slip that he has a boyfriend now, and how he then escaped the scene, not being able to go through with it all. The last part makes him feel embarrassed and even more of a failure, and he doesn't dare to look at Kurt. But when he stops, Kurt says something he did not expect but desperately needed.

"Blaine, you did so well. I'm so proud of you!"

"But I ran…"

"And no one can blame you for that. I wouldn't have stayed either. It's ok to not do everything immediately… Just like I figured I cannot change everything in one day. It takes time. This was already such a huge step." Kurt's smile is brilliant and Blaine can feel the affection brimming through the screen to him. He almost says 'I love you' in that moment, before he realises that they are nowhere near that, yet.

"Thank you, Night sky.. You don't know how much I needed that," he says instead.

"I don't know, I might have and idea," Kurt smiles again.

"Do you want to open our present now?" Blaine blurts out then, suddenly not wanting to wait for Kurt's reaction to his present for one minute more. "I know we agreed to do it tomorrow, but…"

"Yess! Let's fo that!" Kurt shouts, excited, and Blaine suspects a big part of his enthusiasm is to make Blaine feel better, but he'll take it gladly. It feels good to let Kurt support and help him. Just like he's said before, he really needs Kurt too. They find their gifts, Blaine a small, long box and Kurt something, that is unmistakably a book.

"You first," Kurt commands. Blaine opens the gift to find a cute bowtie with black and white checker pattern. He instantly loves it, partly because it's cute and Blaine loves bowties, and partly because it's the first gift he's gotten from Kurt.

"Oh! It's great, thank you!" he gushes, and Kurt blushes.

"I know it's not much, I just thought it would look good on you, but it's ok if you don't like it…" Kurt rambles nervously, but Blaine's not having it.

"No, Kurt, seriously, it's perfect. Thank you," he says, firmly but with a big smile. Kurt seems to believe him this time.

"Ok. Good, then. You're welcome."

"Now, open yours," Blaine says impatiently. He can't wait for Kurt to see what he's gotten for him. He sees Kurt tear off the paper and Blaine can't see the book from the camera, but he can see how Kurt's eyes get misty as he takes in the cover.

"Kurt's book of dreams" Kurt reads, his voice quivering. Blaine sees Kurt's hands move as he slowly turns the pages, and looks at what Blaine knows are high quality copies of the photos for their project… and one extra, that Kurt has never seen. He knows the exact moment Kurt sees it, because his hand is suddenly on his mouth and he lets out a small gasp.

"Blaine.. but…I thought.. how?" he finally get's out.

"Oh, actually it was pretty easy. The guard from the Gershwin theater made me remove them, but he must not have known that with the right equipment and skills it's actually pretty easy to recover erased photos from the memory card. I had a friend of mine save them. I knew we couldn't use the photo of you singing on the stage for the actual project, because those photos are kind of illegal, but I wanted to give it to you as a memory… It's still a dream come true for you, and you deserved the proof of that. I would have told you that day, but then… things happened so it didn't seem the most important thing at the moment. So, I decided to make it a surprise, instead," Blaine explains.

"Oh, Blaine…" Kurt says, eyes still on the photo in his hands and a tear falling down his face. It's probably because he's holding a photo of himself on a real Broadway stage, mouth open and singing. He probably remembers the moment and is surprised because he didn't think he would ever see this particular photo, but Blaine hopes it's also because he's touched and happy of Blaine's present.

"So, what do you think?"

"I… Let's do it." Kurt let's out.

"Do what?" Blaine's confused.

"The exhibit, the extra photos, all that. Let's do it." Kurt raises his face to look at Blaine, and he's probably never seen Kurt so determined.

056 - Giving a chance

"The exhibit, the extra photos, all that. Let's do it." It's a spur of the moment decision when Kurt says it. Or rather, it's in that moment when his conciousness is made aware of the decision that had already been made. It had been coming to him slowly, the last few days. There hadn't been any one big thing that made him want to do it, until Blaine's gift and the shock of seeing the photo he thought had been lost and realising just what having it meant, but there had been small things, moments, flashes, conversations, that had pushed him on. Made him realise some things.

/

His dad's arms around him are the only ones, except maybe for Blaine', lately, that have always felt like coming home and being safe. Touching other people is usually a thing he shies from, but here is the one exception to the rule.

"Welcome home, son! God, I'm glad to see you. It's like I haven't realised how big a hole there has been until you're here to fill it again." Burt says as he pats Kurt's back, and then pulls back. And there it is, again, the feeling of being wanted, and needed, and belonging. He's back home, and here is the only person who has ever made him feel like that… except Blaine, lately. It's a peculiar thought, that there is now an addition that starts with 'except'.

/

"It's so nice that you're here to help me with this. I wanted to get the baking done early, so we'll have more time for other things later." Carole says 're making ginger breads and other kinds of cookies, and it's the first time Kurt has been alone with Carole since he got back home.

"Of course, no problem," Kurt smiles to her, feeling just the slightest bit awkward. It's not because of her, specifically, it's just the feeling he has when he's alone with almost anyone, even people he's close to, like Carole. It's not as strong then as it is sometimes, though.

"So, how's Blaine? Tell me all about him!" Carole asks, playfully conspirational. It should not be surprising, but it still is, because it's a totally new kind of situation for Kurt, being asked to gossip about a new boyfriend with a mother figure (she's not his mother, but very close, all things considered). He starts a little unsurely, just giving short answers, but eventually, when he sees Carole's eyes light up as she practically eats up every little thing he mentions, Kurt relaxes and he ends up doing what he thought he would never be doing - gossiping and bordering on gushing at some points as he tells Carole all about Blaine. Unlike with his dad, he's not talking about any of the harder stuff, it's really just the silly little things that you think of when you're asked to tell about someone you really like, like that he has triangular eyebrows, or was in a Glee club In high school, or that he has the prettiest voice. He knows Carole probably knows a lot about the difficulties he and Blaine have had, but those are not what this conversation is about, at all. This is just him sharing his happiness with a person who is just as happy for him, lightheartedly sharing a good thing in his life with someone who supports him fully. And perhaps he has never really been that close with Carole, but in this moment Kurt truly feels how much she cares about him and his happiness… and it makes Kurt realise just how happy he is with his new life.

/

"Hey, Kurt!" Finn's head peeks through his half-open door. "Wanna play some video games with me?" It's strange. Kurt has never played video games with Finn, hasn't ever been that close with him, even though they are step-brothers. Finn's betrayal at school might have a lot to do with it. But ,he's offering to spend time with him now, and it's something that hasn't happened before, so Kurt is intrigued enough to agree. They haven't ever really seen eye to eye and their high school lives had always been between them, but maybe the wall can be put down now that high school is over and life has changed for them both.

"Cool!" Finn says, enthusiastic. They go to Finn's room and Finn puts Mario Kart on. Kurt's relieved, because Mario Kart is simple enough for a video game virgin like Kurt. They play a few rounds, not talking much, and Kurt realises he's actually somewhat enjoying it, even getting caught up in the game a few times, shouting at the screen when his kart falls off the road.

"You're different," Finn says suddenly.

"How so?"

"You're happier, more open, you know.. I can't imagine you playing this with me before." Kurt can't imagine that either. But he's doing it now, and he likes it. He has made a lot of new realisations this semester and he's decided to change, but hearing Finn, the normally oblivious to fault Finn, notice and comment on it… it's means a lot.

/

It's a late evening two days before Christmas, and he's sitting with just his father in the living room. They've been quiet for a while, watching something on tv that they both had agreed on but neither really cared about.

"So how's New York?" Burt asks, which Kurt immediately translates to mean 'how are things with Blaine and how is your decision to change things going and how are you really feeling'. He doesn't mind his Dad asking, he's kind of glad he does, to be honest, because he wants to talk about the exhibit and what he should do about it. So, he tells his dad the whole thing and then asks for his opinion.

"I think it's a great opportunity to Blaine and it could be good for you too, but I also think you don't owe it to him or any shit like that. If you don't want to do it, there's no reason to feel guilty over it. It's your decision, kiddo. But tell me, what really makes you opposed to it?"

"It's.. I don't know. The publicity, maybe? All of those secrets and dreams out there for anyone to see…"

"Is it because they are so sacred and personal that you want to keep them to yourself… or is it because you fear people wouldn't understand, and might laugh and ridicule you?" That makes Kurt stop. He had thought it was just the first, but now that it's laid in the open like that, he can't help but feel that the second thought is actually much more daunting than the first. He's not ashamed of the photos, or his dreams, per se. He thinks the photos are beautiful and they are important to him, and he might even want other people to see them, if he just could trust them to understand the meaning and importance the way he does. He doesn't answer, but even his silence seems to tell a lot to his dad.

"Yeah.. It's a lot to think about. I'm not saying you should or should not do it. I'm just sayin' - really think about it, before you decide anything."

/

"…What?" Blaine's face is almost adorably confused and disbelieving and hopeful at the same time. He looks like a puppy, who doesn't quite believe he's allowed to lick the candy on the Christmas tree. It makes Kurt giggle, such a foreign thing for him, but then, Blaine has made him do and feel a lot of foreign things. Like agree to have photos of him printed in A3-size to be hanged on the walls in a public library. He never thought he would actually agree doing this, no matter how much he hated the idea of putting Blaine down. But now, after hearing Blaine's bravery and how he had drawn his courage from Kurt, and seeing the photos they had made together and how wonderful it all looked, he feels like he wants to share it with people. He wants to share his dreams and Blaine's wonderful work with others, he wants to share the ideas behind them and how they can make you feel better just by looking at them. He doesn't want to keep them hidden, he wants people to see.

And more than that, he has realised during these few short days, how much he has already gotten, just deciding he wants to change. He wants to get better and be brave. Take risks even, to challenge the unknown to see what it has to give, just like the theme of Blaine's class project says. He wants to help Blaine and give him this opportunity, yes, but he wants it for himself too. It's not like he's any less terrified of the prospect than he was before, it's just that he's somehow learned to see past that to what could be. His dreams, that had been left alone on the pages of a book because they were too big and scary to really believe in, are now becoming true in the most surprising ways, because he gave them a second chance. He wants to give the world a chance, too. A chance to show that it's not always like in high school, and, if it is, then he can be strong enough to weather it. It's almost like a test: if he can do this, if some good things can come out of this, maybe he has already changed. Maybe the world has changed for him.

"You heard me," he smiles at Blaine, a little smug even, feeling proud that he's been able to make this decision. He's pretty sure he's going to second guess this, many many times, in the future, but at this moment he is sure. He wants to do this. He's proud to want it.

"Yeah, I just.. wow. Are you sure?" Blaine seems a bit overwhelmed, and Kurt guesses Blaine had never really thought Kurt would accept the offer, either. Him agreeing probably surprised Blaine more than it did Kurt.

"Yes." he says simply. Kurt explains Blaine some of his thoughts and some things that have happened during the holiday, and Blaine seems to accept it with increasing happiness, as he realises that Kurt isn't just doing this for Blaine. As they talk, Kurt sees how Blaine's initial distress slowly fades under the honest excitement he clearly feels about the exhibit, and it makes Kurt feel ridiculously good to know that he had the power and ability to make Blaine forget his troubles and bad feelings just like that. The feeling of being good for someone, being helpful and needed, is comforting. It feels like a promise for both of them, that they can and will be there for each other, that they can both become more than they are, with the other's support.

/

When they meet again, a few days after New Year, and spend the evening in Blaine's currently empty dorm room, another step is taken, in their relationship and in Kurt's path of changing his life. They spend their reunion kissing and refamiliarizing themselves with each other. Somehow the wandering hands creep over the previous boundaries, touching places they haven't before, finding their way under shirts and over bare skin, and it's all very tender, very careful, almost achingly slow, but eventually their shirts are lying on the floor and they're finding new, uncharted skin to feel under hands and lips. It doesn't lead to anything more; the sexual desire is there but it's not important in this moment. This is simply them making discoveries. It's them finding out new things about this other person they've learned to care about, seeing them in a new light and from another angle, in a way that is not so much unlike finding out new things about their personality and mind. It's beautiful and simple, and when it eventually leads them to pulling apart and breathing deep to settle their breaths and emotions, neither of them feels like they should have gone any further. This, too, was a promise, a start of a certain path they have decided to take.

057 - Armour against the hurt

Days go by quickly, and then weeks, and before they realise the spring semester is already started, the new courses have all begun and are settling down to routines. One day Blaine realises it's already the fourth week of January and he's not sure where the time has gone. Nothing special has happened, it's just been a slow time with not much schoolwork yet and a lot of time just spent together with Kurt as a couple and with their friends.

Kurt and Blaine had both noticed how Zach and Aino are together a lot, and they had found out after New Years that Aino had gone with Zach to his home in Pennsylvania to celebrate Christmas, as it would have been a bit too expensive for her to fly back to Finland for the holiday. He's asked Zach once, whether they are more than friends now, but Zach was adamant enough for Blaine to believe that nothing more is going on. They are just good friends becoming even better friends, which makes Blaine both happy and sad for those two. It's more and more obvious that they could easily be more than friends, both of their feelings are showing through, but he knows it won't be so simple for Zach, and thus not for Aino either, and he is in no position to tell Zach what he should do.

In any case, beginning of the school year has taken a lot of their attention, and Blaine realises they haven't done anything about the new photos for the collection yet. There is still a lot of time for it, as the exhibit is only going to be in the end of March, but Blaine wants to get started early so he'll have time to perfect the photos before it. It's also always possible that some shoots go wrong, so it's better to be ready too early than too late.

That's why Thursday morning, the last week of January, Blaine asks Kurt to have a cup of coffee before classes to start planning the next shoot. It's been a long time since Blaine has actually seen Kurt's notebook or talked about the dreams, even though he knows Kurt has been carrying the book around and occasionally crossing things out, if something new happens. It makes Blaine happy to know that he has helped some of Kurt's dreams come true, and not only the photo ones, but real life ones too. For example, before Christmas, when Kurt had let him go through the book for ideas, he had seen the dream number 61 (I just want to kiss a guy on the lips) striked through with a smiley face next to it, and he knew it hadn't been the first kiss outside the Gershwin theater, but he had made the dream true later, anyway. And there have been others, too, that Kurt's new found courage and confidence have made happen, like how the dream ' 57. I want to make a new good friend I can trust' is now crossed with the name Aino scribbled next to it. And now they are set to make some more happen.

"Hey," Blaine greets Kurt with a casual kiss on the cheek - which is still more than Kurt would have been comfortable with just a month or two ago, but doesn't even think about now. Small steps like this are almost too easy to not even register, but things have been going forward for them, in many ways, Blaine suddenly realises. They're slowly becoming more comfortable with each other, they trust each other more, and Kurt is getting better at telling his real feelings and letting Blaine in, even if he still sometimes has troubles with that. And they've taken some small steps towards intimacy, too, but it seems being completely naked is still a big stop sign for Kurt. But they have time, and it's good to remind himself now and then, how much the small changes really mean. They'll get there, eventually, Blaine's sure of it now. Sometimes he still has doubts about their relationship and whether it's really going to work, but these weeks have been just as much a reassurance for him as they've been time to take slow steps for Kurt.

"Hey, you!" Kurt smiles and sits down across from him. They take hold of each other's hands over the table without even thinking, and it's just another sign of moving ahead for Blaine, who is strangely aware of it all today. They talk about some random things first, before Blaine brings up the photo shoots. He sees how Kurt tenses almost imperceptibly at the topic, though he hides it well. It's not the kind of panic that Blaine would fear, but Blaine just hopes Kurt wouldn't feel the need to hide anymore, either.

"Are you ok?" he asks, trying to get the truth out of Kurt.

"Yeah.." Kurt starts, but when Blaine shakes his head just a little, he seemingly decides to go with the truth. Or at least more of the truth. "Well, I don't know. I know I promised to do this, but the whole exhibit thing is still pretty scary. I mean, some of those dreams are so silly and what if…" Kurt trails off, looking like he might have said more than he planned.

"What if what?"

"What if they think I'm stupid and pathetic.." Kurt's voice is small.

"They?"

"Just… people." Blaine moves around the table and sits next to him, pressing Kurt's head on his shoulder.

"Those dreams and photos are not silly and you are not pathetic, you know that right?" Kurt looks up at him then, with a weak smile.

"Yeah, I know. Or, I think I do."

"Well, why would you care about what 'people' would think then?"

"I just.. I don't want to be made feel like worthless again. I've had enough of that." The words made Blaine's heart quench uncomfortably. He wants to make it better.

"I'm pretty sure no one could find you weak and pathetic based on those photos and dreams. I'm pretty sure most people would see them exactly as what they are - you being braver than most of those people would ever dream of being." Blaine smiles down and he sees Kurt's face light up just a little, despite the tension still there. "And if some asshole doesn't see it.. well, then, this is a chance to learn that their misguided opinions don't matter and you don't have to let them get you down. Ok?"

"Ok." The smile accompanying the word is small but real.

/

They did eventually get to planning the next photo shoot, which is why they are now in one of the more forestry part of the Central park, Northern woods to be exact, currently covered in thin layer of snow, making the area look very much like a dream. The cloudy, cold day has kept a lot of people away, so they are able to find a place by the stream where no one is in sight and they can make the photo look fitting to be a fantasy forest for elves. Which is exactly what they need, as the dream for today is 'I want to be an elf and live in the forest forever', one of the earliest dreams in Kurt's book, written when his mother's health was slowly getting worse and dreams of being immortal had been a comfort. Also, some boys at school had been calling him names, and being a perfect and untouchable creature like an elf was also a comfort, a protective armour against the hurt.

The dream and Kurt's backstory for it had made Blaine fall in love with the idea of a beautiful, elvish Kurt with pointed ears, clad in forest green and looking all mystical and otherworldly. So, the Monday after making their plans, they find a perfect spot in the snowy central park, and Kurt takes off the thick long coat he has been wearing, to reveal an impossibly light forest green elvish outfit, a kind of tunic, with short sleeves and a hem down to his knees, a leather belt on his waist. The tight pants and boots he had been wearing transform to look like straight from a story book, when the long, fashionable jacket is changed to an elvish dress. It's way too light and thin for the wintry scene around, and they know Kurt will be shivering because of the cold in minutes, but it's worth it, because of the stark contrast between the snowy forest around and Kurt's lightly clad form, standing some distance away from the camera, looking into the forest with a calm, detached look. It's like the cold weather and snow have no effect on him at all, like he couldn't care less, whether it's cold or warm. Like it simply can't harm him. The lighting is easy for photographs, with no direct sunlight but still pretty bright, so it's not a difficult shot to take, at least technically. Blaine is fast, having had the settings of the camera perfected before Kurt started posing, and finding the perfect spot and angle before making Kurt strip the jacket. It only takes about five minutes to get the perfect shot. Which is very good, because Kurt probably wouldn't have lasted much longer.

They leave the park fast after that, walking to the nearest coffee shop they can find, to drink hot cocoa and get Kurt warm again, before taking the subway back to Kurt and Rachel's place. Blaine sits right next to Kurt and wraps his arms around him, rubbing his arms through the thick jacket. For once Kurt seems to be completely fine with the PDA, and Blaine suspects it's because the extra warmth is needed and welcome. They sit there a while, Kurt sipping his cocoa and Blaine holding him, just feeling this moment together, when no words are needed. They've been doing something special together, and now they are taking the comfort of the other's body and just feeling the other's precense. It's perfect, even if it's nothing special at all.

"I wish I could take my jacket off... I think your body heat would work much better that way." Kurt mock complains, but makes no attempt to move.

"Why don't you?" Blaine asks, momentarily confused.

"Well… I don't think my outfit is very coffee shop appropriate," Kurt answers dryly, but amused.

"Oh.. yeah," Blaine lets out a small laugh. The mental image of that otherworldly mythical Kurt he had just captured on film drinking hot chocolate in the middle of a busy coffee shop in central New York is pretty absurd. "Better keep the jacket on, after all." he chuckles. "Do you want to go back?"

"Let's stay just a little while more.. I don't want to go back to the cold yet," Kurt says with a tiny whine of protest in his voice. Blaine finds it utterly adorable, and he thinks that somehow, in this moment, they are more together than they have ever been. It's so seemingly normal, just a couple sipping their drinks in a coffee shop, cuddling as close as is appropriate in a public place. But it's also so much more. They have their own secret, hidden from other's eyes, the strange outfit Kurt is wearing and there's their photo project together, which is something only they share. It's relaxed and simple and thoughtless, with no hidden worries or tension. Until their perfect little moment of peace is broken in the cruelest possible way Blaine could imagine.

Kurt's phone beeps to inform him of a new email. He opens the phone to see who it is from, and Blaine can feel the exact moment when Kurt's whole being crashes down, as he reads the sender's address. Kurt freezes, and then moves first away and then toward Blaine, as if he doesn't know if he wants to run away and hide, or bury himself in Blaine and hide. Blaine takes the phone from Kurt's hand, which is surprisingly easy considering how white Kurt's knuckles are from gripping the device so tightly. He reads the name of the sender, and suddenly he has no trouble understanding Kurt's reaction.

"David Karofsky," he reads out loud.