Kiss me goodbye
rakasklaine
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Kiss me goodbye: 001-003


M - Words: 2,139 - Last Updated: Apr 09, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 25/25 - Created: Oct 19, 2012 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022
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001  Dad

The near silent rustle of a page turning is a homely sound for Kurt. It’s familiar, safe and comfortable in a way few sounds can be. He is sitting in his corner, one of the furthest corners near the graphic arts section, between the shelves 225 and 226 with an old book in his hand and just reads. He’s reading his favourite book Eyes of ice once again (Oh dear God, no! his flatmate Rachel had commented this morning) and he’s just got to the part where Marie kisses her future husband for the first time when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He wouldn’t answer his phone in the library, but it’s his dad.

“Hey.” He whispers in the phone, hoping there’s nothing wrong back home.

“You are there again, aren’t you.” His dad asks drily but with an amused undertone. This lets Kurt relax: his dad is happy, everything is ok. After the heart attack during high school Kurt had always worried a little when he got an unexpected call.

“I am.” Kurt admits, kind of embarrassed but not really. His dad chuckles.

I miss you, Kurt wants to say, but he doesn’t want to make his dad sad so instead he says conversationally “I started Eyes of ice again.” Of course, he should have known saying this tells his dad - who knows him and his books better than anyone - essentially the same thing.

“Oh Kurt. Is everything OK?” Burt asks, concerned.

“Yes. Yes, everything’s fine. I’m just - just homesick I guess. There is so much new and unfamiliar and though it’s exciting, it’s just... new.” He knows his dad can understand. Burt Hummel is the kind of dad you can always count on.  After his mother died when he was eight, it was just them and, even though they have had their problems, when it comes down to it they are always there for each other. Their life did change when dad met Carole and their family grew but Kurt and Burt were always a team, as simple as that.

“You will get used to it. It will be fine. You have your Eyes to keep you company.” Burt joked good naturedly but making sure Kurt heard that he does care.

Kurt humms. Even if it is a joke, it is also very much true. “I do.” He pauses for a second and then continues “How are things in Ohio?” He is still whispering, of course, as he is still in the library, but his voice somehow still changes softer. The unspoken question is clear for Burt.

“Don’t worry, kiddo. I’m eating healthy and Carole is taking care of me. Things are good - even though we miss you a lot, son.” This makes Kurt’s heart feel a lot better and he smiles softly.

“I love you, dad.” he says. Then he sighs. “ I need to end this call now, I’m still in the library. Maybe I can call you later?”

“Whenever you want to, kid, I will always answer. I love you too.” Burt replies. Kurt can hear his smile over the phone.

“Thanks, dad. Bye.” he whispers. After Burts answering goodbye, he shuts the phone, dips his head back against the books and lets out a deep sigh. He misses them, of course, but he’s in New York and in college and he has a small crappy appartment with his best (and only) friend Rachel and life seems pretty good. Also, the university has a really wonderful library that he has fallen in love with, and, for whatever it’s worth, he still has Eyes of ice to go to when things feel hard. 

He opens the book again and soon everything is forgotten as Aenor finally finds his courage to love Marie even with all the difficulties and the differences between them. 


 

002  Ideas

“Okay, welcome everyone to this class! My name is Theresa Kerry and this is the photography project course. This course is mainly for photography majors, but others are welcome as well, if you have all the necessary introductory courses made. If any of you is in the wrong place, now would be a good time to leave!” the young female professor smiles brightly and her voice is cheery. A lot of the students laugh at the last comment. One student looks a little red in the face and leaves the classroom with a mumbled apology. Blaine is smiling: he feels like this could potentially turn out to be a really good course.

This is Blaine’s sophomore year in college and he feels he really has found his true passion and future career in photography. He used to imagine life on Broadway or in Hollywood, being a big star, but it all changed when he took a photography class in high school. It was surprisingly easy to convince his parents that studying photography was a good idea. It seemed that after years of dreams of becoming an actor or a singer, photographer seemed like a stable and good profession for their son. So, he came to New York, the city of his dreams, and started studying in college last year, and his love for the art had not lessened. So, after all the technical and introductory courses, the prospect of finally getting to do a whole project and using his own creativity and ideas was just really exciting.  

“So, we should have about 30 students enrolled for this course, we are going to go through all your names later, but first let me introduce what we are doing this semester. I asked you to bring a photograph of your choosing, where ever it may be from, magazines, internet blogs, news papers , to the class today, did you all do this?” Students are nodding and some dig through their bags to get their photographs out. Blaine has his photo already on the desk - a print-out from deviant art he found a few days ago. In the picture there is a girl dressed in a grey dress and smiling expectantly and opening the cover of a human-sized book like a door. Blaine has no idea what they are going to use the picture for, but this one just hit him in a way that not many photos do. There was just this feeling that made the seemingly simple photo manipulation something you just had to look at for a long time.

“This is a project course, which means that during this semester we will work on everyone’s individual photography project and hopefully in the end of the semester you all have made a complete set of at least 10-20 photographs around a certain theme. The course will be graded based on both your final work and the process that is recorded through-out the course. Today, we will start with figuring out your theme. Before that, however, we will have a short exercise as an orientation to the class and getting to know each other. All of you have a minute to think about the photo you brought and what it tells to you specifically and what this tells about you as a person. Be prepared to introduce this to the rest of the class.”

When the professor is finished, Blaine starts to really think about his chosen photo again. For him they most interesting thing of this photo is her face. She has the kind of expectant and excited smile that tells she is waiting for a new world to open for her in the book.  It’s like she does not know what is going to happen, but she cannot wait to find out. She has a big watch on her hand, which points out how there is no time as good as the present to go for a new adventure. It seems opening the cover of the book is like opening the door of your house, your life, and leaving the familiar for the unknown.

This is what Blaine tells the class when it’s his turn to introduce himself and his photo. He has been listening attentively to the others and it seems a lot of them have wonderful and very insightful things to say about their photos.  He wonders what his explanation tells to the others. After the round it seems most of the class feels really excited about the course and the expectation and inspiration is so thick that it could almost be touched.

“Thank you all, that was lovely!” the professor says smiling. (It seems she hasn’t stopped smiling since the beginning of the class.) “I’m happy most of you really did use some time to find out a perfect photograph for this class. This is actually really important, because your theme for this project will be what you just told the class or a variation of that. I want to emphasize that the idea is not to use the photo itself as a theme but the thoughts and ideas that you just presented to the class. The idea is to reflect you and your own personality through the thoughts that your chosen picture gave to you specifically. Do you have any questions?”

Some people look a bit confused and others look interested and quite a few also seem really excited. Blaine belongs to the latter category. The rest of the class is spent explaining the outline of the project,the grading and other info, figuring out what people are going to do, discussing with others about their ideas and thoughts and writing down possible outlines for their project. Blaine is not at all sure what he is going to do yet, but it seems there are endless amount of ideas swimming around him, and he just needs to look at them all closely to see which one  would stick with him. When the professor announces that the class is ended, Blaine has one clear idea in his head. He needs to visit the library.


 

003  Little people

There is a small park next to the building, with white benches and well-kept trees and flowersbeds. There are a few people sitting on the benches and, as it is a warm autumn day, some people are also sitting on the grass reading, talking or just enjoying the sun. There is a couple sitting under a tree and they are very obviously in love, even though they try to be discreet and not kiss each other publicly. One boy has a very huge book in his arms and though Kurt can’t really see, it seems to be something very important and possibly related to law or medicine or something equally boring. A girl sitting on one of the benches is talking on the phone. She grows more and more agitated when the call goes on and finally she gets up really fast, now scowling at her phone like it has personally offended her. She’s not looking where she is walking and just before it happens, Kurt can see she will hit the absent-minded looking elder gentleman (obviously a professor, with that white beard and those thick glasses). Kurt sees them both start when the collision happens and then they are (seemingly, as he can’t hear) profusely apologizing to each other. The girl looks very embarrassed, Kurt can almost see the red creeping on her cheeks. The professor is just flustered but he seems kind, not angry.

 They all seem very small from the third floor window.

Instead of sitting in his usual corner, Kurt is standing in front of the window facing the yard, watching the every day campus life play out in front of him. It’s like a theater from up there, he can follow the people but not be seen. He is insignificant in these people’s lives but he can follow them as long as they stay in his sight. When they leave the park, they are out of Kurt’s life again, without knowing they ever even visited. Kurt’s current expression is not  exactly happy, but it’s not sad either, it is just peacefully thoughtful. Kurt is not feeling sad, why would he? He is enjoying the view, because it is a beautiful day and everything is so serene in it’s normalcy. The only sad thing in this is the fact how small they all are.

Kurt is just thinking that he should go back to read, as this time he actually has real school work to do (Anna Karenina for his Europian literature class, and he absolutely hates it already, nothing ever happens!), when suddenly he hears a camera shutter going off with a distinctive click. He turns around and the first thing he registers is the curly hair showing from behind a very fancy system camera.

 

End Notes: Eyes of ice is an imaginary book I invented for the purposes of this story. In truth, this book is very, very heavily based on the Finnish young adult fantasy novel Jääsilmä by Taru and Tarmo Väyrynen. It was the single most important book for me when I grew up, but sadly it can only be found in Finnish, so it wouldn't make sense for Kurt to be able to read the real book. Thus the imaginary one, which is basicly the same but just translated and with changed names. Also, I don't own Jääsilmä in any way or form, just sharing my love for it.

Comments

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Thank you back! :) You are awesome!

In honor of Glee FanFic Writer's Appreciation Day 2012, I just wanted to say that your talent is very much appreciated. Your writing brightens up my days so I thank you :)

I'm glad you found it again! :) Thank you!

Ah! I started to read this on Livejournal and then managed to lose track of it. I was soooooo excited to see it on here, make it easier to keep track of it all. ANYWAYS, it's still fantastic and I can't wait to see what happens next!!

You don't even know how happy your words made me. :) While this is fanfiction and I write it for the enjoyment of me and other Glee fans, I still aim to make this as believable and realistic as possible. That is also why I don't want to either minimize or exaggerate Kurt's problems, but rather try to keep his actions and thoughts on a line that shows his gradual development, but doesn't make his troubles dissapear completely in one moment either.And I've still never seen a single episode of Barney. :) I've planned to but I never seem to get to it!

I'm not quite sure why this story doesn't have more reviews. I'm following it both here and on ff.net and I gotta say I absolutely love it! The way the author describes Kurt's vulnerability is amazing. In many stories it often gets ridiculous when the authors try to describe kurt being vulnerable, but this is simply good. Also I love Barney the purple dinosaur.

oooooo!!!! =D so excited for this story to unravel!!

Thank you for this beautiful story. I couldn't stop reading! The idea is amazing and the photoshoots, too. Your writing is amazing and you could feel everything what the characters feel!A HUGE THANK YOU!!!!