Kissing Kurt was... different. Not in a bad way, but not what he expected. Blaine hadnt allowed himself to think about it the entire way home, but as soon as he arrived at his apartment, all of his thoughts came rushing to his mind. He could still feel the tingly warmth of Kurts lips on his own. His heartbeat was still quick and uneven, and his entire body felt stimulated.

It had been quick and chaste, just peck of the lips, but Blaine felt a thrill throughout his entire body just thinking about it.

But Blaine made a promise. He and Kurt were just friends.

Besides, he probably only felt this was because he hadnt been this close to someone since... Well, it had been a while. Blaine rationalized that he felt a shiver every time he thought about Kurts soft lips against his own only because it was the first time in a long time that he was actually emotionally close to the person he had kissed.

Thats all, nothing more.

Blaine was up most of the night because he couldnt think straight. Every time he took a breath he thought of Kurts warm breath against his own. Maybe its the wine. He rationalized once more. Thoughts kept clouding his mind as he tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. The main problem was the comparison going back and forth in his mind. He felt guilty.

By the time he actually had to get up for work, he probably had a total of three hours of sleep, if that. Blaine was exhausted, but he pushed through the day anyway, surviving only by nursing several cups of coffee.

Blaine arrived at Giovannis about half an hour before his set, so he went into the back room, as usual, but was surprised to see Kayleigh there.

"You look exhausted." She commented.

"Hello to you, too," Blaine rolled his eyes playfully. "What are you doing back here?"

"Im not on for another fifteen minutes or so, I figured Id come say hello before you went on, how are things? You look kind of... stressed." Kayleigh sat right up close to Blaine on the couch. It took a while for Blaine to get used to the closeness, but after a few years of knowing Kayleigh he was accustomed to her touchy-feely personality.

"I didnt get much sleep last night, Ive got a lot on my mind I guess." Blaine shrugged, but he knew better. No doubt Kayleigh wouldnt let this go.

"Boy trouble?" She guessed. Blaine always wondered if he was that easy to read, or if Kayleigh just knew him too well.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Well no, but you havent been out on a real date since Casey, and judging by the fact that Kurt Hummels been to almost every one of your shows here since you guys had lunch that day, Id say theres something going on there." She looked at him expectantly.

"How did you—"

"I know things, Blaine. So are you gonna tell me whats going on? Or am I going to have to assume?"

"Were just friends." Blaine knew he didnt sound convincing.

"For now." Blaine tried to protest but Kayleigh ignored him. "So did you kiss him yet?" She said like an excited teenage girl.

"Why are you suddenly so interested in my personal life?"

"Im always interested in your personal life, Blaine! Cant I get excited about this? I mean, its been two years since youve actually been in a real relationship. I know you had a little downfall at first, but why not take a second chance at something special?" Kayleigh pleaded with her big, brown eyes.

"Im sorry Kay, can we not talk about this now? I have to go on soon..."

"Right, sorry. Ill... Well talk later, okay?" Kayleigh squeezed his shoulders from the side as he nodded. "I love you, you know." She whispered. Blaine smiled with watery eyes.

"I know; I love you, too. Thank you," Blaine hugged her back and blinked a few times to clear his eyes. Kayleigh gave him one last squeeze before she stood up and headed for the door.

"Break a leg, just like you always do!" Kayleigh smiled. "Ill be listening from—" She was cut off when she ran into someone just outside the door. "Oh my goodness, Im so sorry! I—oh!" Blaine leaned over on the couch to see whom she ran into and realized why she was suddenly at a loss for words.

"No problem! I was just coming back here to watch Blaine," Kurt smiled and Kayleigh immediately whirled around to look at Blaine, who gave her a half smile in return. Kayleigh looked shocked but quickly composed herself and looked at Blaine with a smirk on her face.

"Well, Ill just get to my shift then. Have fun!" She winked and Blaine just shook his head with a laugh. Once Kayleigh left Kurt strolled into the room and sat across from Blaine.

"Hey," He smiled.

"Hi," Blaine started. "Sorry about her... she can be a little over the top at times."

"Im used to over the top from Rachel. What was her name again? Kayleigh?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, Kayleigh. Shes one of my best friends from college." Blaine began to unlatch his guitar case and started to get ready.

"So shes one of the few who knows you inside and out?" Kurt asked with a grin.

"One of the few." Blaine confirmed. "She kind of weaseled her way in, we were only acquainted before, but she got close when I needed her, so Im grateful." Kurt nodded in response and hesitated for a few moments, then broke the silence.

"Listen, Im sorry about last—"

"Kurt, its fine. We have to get used to it right? Holding hands and kissing? Its okay." Blaine reassured him while checking to make sure his guitar was tuned.

"I should have said something though instead of just... Im sorry." Kurt mumbled. Blaine was honestly surprised. Kurt was usually so out there and confident. He smiled at the sight of a shy and unsure Kurt.

"Really Kurt, it was fine. Your kissing me was fine. I mean—it wasnt just fine. Youre not a bad kisser, or anything, I just mean the fact that you did it was okay and—"

"Blaine." Kurt stopped his rambling and Blaine blushed a deep red as he mumbled an apology. Kurt laughed again and was about to say something when Gio poked his head in the room.

"Sorry to interrupt, but youre up, Blaine!" Gio said with a bright smile. "And hello again, Kurt!" He nodded and left the room. Blaine picked up his guitar and made his way to the door to get to the small stage. Kurt followed him there and kissed his cheek lightly as he left.

"Break a leg!" Blaine blushed furiously once more and nodded as he walked out into the low spotlights. Kurt being so affectionate all of the sudden sparked a new fire in him as he sang his way through his set.

Sittin here, on this lonely dock
Watch the rain play on the ocean top
All the things I feel I need to say
I cant explain in any other way

I need to bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you were naturally
The one to make it so easy when you show me the truth
Yeah, yeah Id rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

Blaine caught Kayleighs eye during his final song and nearly rolled his own eyes at the look she was giving him. He wished he could explain the situation to her, but he knew that would only end with more fire from her end. He would have to hide the truth from her as much as the rest of the world.

Now heres the sun, come to dry the rain
Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain
Youre the one thing that Im missing here
With you beside me I no longer fear

I need to bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you were naturally
The one to make it so easy when you show me the truth
Yeah, yeah Id rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

Still, he couldnt help but think that maybe Kayleigh was right. Why shouldnt Blaine indulge himself a little bit? Maybe not in the exact way that Kayleigh had in mind, but he could allow himself comfort. Hopefully, at the end of all of this, he and Kurt could still remain friends. And maybe Blaine could let someone else in for a change. With Kurt, it didnt seem like such a bad idea.

I could have saved so much time for us
Had I seen the way to get to where I am today
You waited on me for so long
So now, listen to me say

I need to bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you were naturally
The one to make it so easy when you show me the truth
Yeah, yeah Id rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

Say you feel the way I do.

Blaine left the stage and fiddled with his guitar strap after his set on the way back into the break room where Kurt was waiting with a big smile on his face.

"Lovely as usual!" Kurt went to hug him, which Blaine accepted easily. It didnt slip his mind that this was the first time they had actually hugged, and it felt warm and comforting.

"Thanks," Blaine said over Kurts shoulder.

"Seriously, as soon as we get you out there, record companies will just be eating you up!" Kurt laughed and allowed Blaine to pack up his things. Blaine gave him a light smile and quickly packed up. Giovanni came in (as usual) to talk to Blaine and praise his excellent performance, and then Blaine was ready to leave when he looked at an awkward Kurt standing in the corner.

"Do you... have any plans tonight?" Blaine asked.

"No, did you want to do something?" Kurt stepped back to the center of the room. Blaine couldnt hold in the laugh. "What?" Kurt demanded with his hands on his hips.

"Nothing, just seeing you look shy and uncomfortable... its not like the confident Kurt in front of the cameras. It actually makes me feel a lot better." Blaine admitted.

"Ah... well I wasnt always as confident as I seem. Gay teen in Ohio, remember?" Kurt laughed and grabbed his jacket.

"Right. Well, theres a café around the corner, do you want to get some coffee?" Blaine asked as he gathered up his things.

"Certainly!" Kurt articulated, seemingly eager to continue their conversation.

"Do you mind if we stop by my car first so I dont have to bring my guitar along?" Blaine turned to look over his shoulder at Kurt as he led the way out the back door.

"Thats fine, no sense in carrying it around." They didnt talk much on the way into the parking garage or on the way to the café, but as soon as they ordered their drinks and slid into a back booth the conversation flowed like it usually did.

"So you said Kayleigh was a friend from college?" Kurt inquired about 20 minutes after theyd arrived.

"Yeah. We met during our sophomore year through a few mutual friends but we didnt get really close until our senior year. I was pretty good friends with her throughout college, but again with my shyness issues... she was persistent, though, and I can tell her almost anything now." Blaine hoped this topic wouldnt delve into anything too deep.

"Persistent how?"

"I had a fair amount of friends in college for my introverted personality, mostly just mutual friends and acquaintances. They knew me well enough but mostly just knew me from anything we did together in college. Nobody really had any real desire to dig underneath and see the real me except a few people, and Kayleigh was one of them. Shes probably my closest friend, and one of the only people I still talk to from college."

"Why is that? If you dont mind me asking..." Kurt trailed off.

"I..." Blaine hesitated, but decided to give the filtered version. "I didnt have the best summer after college. I had to deal with a lot of things and had a really hard time doing so. I shut nearly everyone out, but Kayleigh wouldnt let me. I dont know what Id do or where Id be if she had given up on me, but I know Id be a lot worse off than I was then." Blaine looked away and sipped his coffee, hoping Kurt would get the message. When he didnt respond for a few minutes, Blaine looked up to see him concentrating on the lid of his coffee cup, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

"You okay?" Blaine finally questioned.

"Yeah Im fine..." He paused for a moment, and then continued, "Can I ask you something personal?"

"Should I be worried?"

"Well no, its just... awkward for me to ask I guess... dont take this the wrong way, but, well... Youve been in a relationship before, right?" Kurt mumbled uncomfortably, but he still looked him in the eye.

"Thats not terribly awkward," Blaine was relieved it wasnt something worse. "And theres no reason for me to take it the wrong way either," he reassured. "Ive had... a few relationships, yeah." Kurt let out a deep breath.

"Im sorry, I just didnt want that to come across the wrong way, but I was curious," he rushed out. "We just havent really talked about it and I wanted to make sure you were comfortable with everything weve been doing and I didnt want you to feel like you dont deserve a good relationship just because this ones technically not real because everyone deserves a good relationship and now Im rambling so Im just going to shut up and drink my coffee and pretend like that never happened." Kurts ears were bright red and his cheeks were darkening as he sipped his coffee and looked anywhere but at Blaine, who was chuckling silently to himself.

"Kurt?" Blaine said quietly and sincerely, just trying to get his attention. Kurt looked up at him slowly.

"Youve been in a relationship before, too, right? Im not taking that from you, am I?" He asked softly, worried that maybe the reason behind Kurts rambling was because he felt that way about their relationship.

"No! No youre not taking that from me! I had a few boyfriends while I was in New York and one for a short while when I came here, so no, youre not taking that from me." Kurt reassured. "You will be the first boyfriend Ive had since Secret Sides premiered though." He noted.

"I better be a good boyfriend, then. Apparently Kurt Hummel is hard to get." Blaine teased; glad the conversation had gone back to being relatively normal.

"Well you just got lucky," Kurt winked at Blaine while sipping his coffee. "Sorry, for asking you that." Kurt said after a minute when he put his coffee down. "I feel like I always make our conversations uncomfortable."

"It takes two to tango," Blaine shrugged. "Dont feel bad about asking me anything. If its something Im uncomfortable with, well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it." Blaine thought for a moment. "Besides, all couples have the awkward phase before their relationship right?" Blaine smirked. Kurt rolled his eyes in response.

"I thought since this relationship isnt actually real we get to skip all the awkward." Kurt quipped.

"Or we get the extra awkward." Blaine retorted with a smile in place. Kurt returned it in agreement as they sipped their coffees.