Kurt normally had no reason to be alarmed when he finally returned home in the middle of the night after one event or another, but when he pulled into his driveway and saw the shadows of a figure curled up on his front porch from the beam of his head lights, he started to worry. This never happened before; should he leave and go somewhere else for the night?

He sat in his car for a moment, contemplating his next move when he really looked at the person sitting with his head in his arms and saw the distinct, messy, dark curls. What was he doing here at this hour?

He got out of the car and walked up the stone path slowly, watching him the whole time. Finally, when he stepped up onto the porch, "Blaine?"

Blaine looked up suddenly, as if he hadnt heard Kurts car pull into the driveway, as if he hadnt heard Kurt walking up the path at all. His eyes were wide and almost looked frightened, but behind that, Kurt could see the regret and shame that took over his features. His face was tear-streaked and his eyes were red and raw from the crying. How long had he been there?

"Kurt...?" Blaine said, as if he forgot where he was.

"Blaine, whats wrong?" Kurt knelt down in front of him and rested a hand gingerly on his arm, waiting patiently for an answer.

"I-I just—um." Blaine cleared his throat to try to stop the scratchy roughness caused by all of the crying. "S-sorry. I sh-shouldnt—I should leave." Blaine tried to push himself up but Kurt stopped him with a gentle squeeze to his knee.

"Hey," He murmured softly. "Blaine, its okay; dont leave." Blaine looked at him with wide, doe eyes again and Kurt thought he looked helpless in that moment.

"No, I-I shouldnt have come here, Kurt. I dont know what I was thinking. Im sorry; I was just being stupid and I—" Blaine spoke in one breath and was shaking his head back and forth before Kurt cut him off.

"Blaine, shh." Kurt soothed, resting a hand on the side of his face and stroking his cheek. "Calm down; youre okay. Just breathe." He continued to murmur soothing words to Blaine until his breathing evened out and he seemed to be calm again.

"Come on inside; you must be freezing out here." Kurt took his hand and stood up, leading him to the door so he could unlock it and let the two of them in. He sat Blaine down on the couch and went to grab him a glass of water, figuring that might be the best place to start.

As he walked back into the living room, he was able to really take in Blaines disheveled appearance. His hair was messier than Kurt had ever seen it, as if hed spent the past few hours raking his hands through it and yanking on it (he probably had). His clothes were wrinkled and crooked, far from the neat look Blaine usually pulled off.

Blaine took the glass of water gratefully, but avoided Kurts eyes as much as possible. He looked so ashamed; Kurt couldnt even imagine what brought him here.

"Are you okay, Blaine?" With a small, quick glance at Kurt, Blaine nodded and took a sip from his glass.

"Y-yeah. Im... better." He muttered, placing his glass on a coaster on the coffee table. He was wringing his hands in his lap and still avoiding Kurts gaze.

"What... You dont have to tell me if you dont want to, Blaine, but what happened?" Kurt asked very cautiously. He didnt think that Blaines ending up on his doorstep in the middle of the night meant his wait was over so they could figure this out, especially not in the state he was in. Something bad mustve happened. Kurt just didnt know what.

"Im sorry I came here, Kurt. I just... I didnt even know where I was going. I wasnt even thinking about it, I just kept walking and I didnt even have any sense of direction and I just ended up here and then I was so tired and I couldnt think of what to do—"

"Dont be sorry, Blaine, shh." Kurt stopped him from getting worked up again. "Dont be sorry; Im glad you came here. Im happy youre not still wandering around at this hour. Where... Where did you come from anyway?" He took one of Blaines hands in both of his and Blaine stared at them for a moment, as if the act were completely foreign to him.

"Outside of town..." He mumbled.

"And you walked all the way here?" Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise but didnt let go of Blaines hand.

"I wasnt really thinking."

"Its okay, Blaine, really. Like I said, Im happy you came to me." Kurt told him. He started to gently massage Blaines palm to urge him to speak. It took several minutes and a few sips of water before Blaine spoke again.

"Im an idiot."

"What? Blaine, youre not—"

"You asked me what happened. Im an idiot; thats what happened." Blaine barked out shortly. Kurt couldnt help his confusion.

"No, youre not. Just start from the beginning." He encouraged.

"Whats the point?" Blaine grumbled, though Kurt knew all of his anger was directed at himself. "I shouldnt have done it. I was stupid and I wasnt thinking and I apparently have a knack for turning to the worst solutions. I feel so worthless; how can you even look at me right now, Kurt?" Blaine looked up at him for a moment before turning away again, looking disgusted with himself. But Kurt only looked back at him with sympathy.

"I can look at you because youre a human being, Blaine. And people make mistakes. You shouldnt be so hard on yourself just because of one little thing, Blaine. Youre an amazing person and I can look at you because I can look past anything you may have done and I can still see how incredible you are. You are anything but worthless, Blaine." Kurt stressed gently. He wasnt sugarcoating it; he was being completely honest with Blaine.

Blaine looked at him, baffled and surprised. Kurt squeezed the hand that he still held and Blaine cleared his throat again.

"I went... I went back to the bar I used to go to that summer when..." He trailed off, but Kurt didnt need him to finish. He knew what he was talking about. "I dont know why, I just... Kayleigh is out of town and... I just couldnt be alone in my apartment any longer. I feel so... I dont even know." He shook his head again and tugged at his hair as he ran his free hand through it. Kurt didnt know what to say. Of course, he couldnt judge Blaine for anything that happened, he wouldnt. But he knew what happened every time Blaine went there that summer after he graduated college.

He hesitantly asked, "What, um, happened?"

Blaine paused for a moment. "One of the bartenders that worked there when I used to go recognized me. He kept talking to me all night, serving me drink after drink, and I wasnt even paying attention to how much it was. He told me to join him in the back for his break and I just wasnt thinking so I followed him behind the bar."

Kurt took it all in. He didnt want to believe it. He really didnt want to believe that Blaine went back there for the same reason he always did. He didnt even know if he wanted to know the truth. He was afraid to ask.

He asked anyway, despite his fear of what the answer might be. "Did you...?"

Blaine looked back at Kurt in alarm. "No! No, I didnt—I couldnt, Kurt. I couldnt do that. I-I almost..." He cleared his throat again, but kept his eyes on Kurt, like of all the things hed said tonight, he had to make sure this particular thing got across clearly. "We went into the back room and we were kissing and I just didnt even feel anything; it was like I was barely there in my own body, but thats probably because I had way too much to drink. And then he went for my belt and I just froze." Blaine stopped for a moment before continuing, as if he were thinking this over, making sure he told everything the right way.

"All I could think about was you." He continued, looking at Kurt with clear sincerity. "I just kept thinking how disappointed you would be if I did that, how angry you would be. I couldnt do that to you. I already hurt you enough and I felt so guilty for even going there and I realized how stupid I was. So I pushed him away and told him to stop." Kurts eyes grew wide as Blaine spoke, surprised that he meant that much to Blaine. Or maybe Blaine was just trying to spare his feelings, and he didnt want Kurt to suffer because he was just a genuinely good person.

No, Kurt knew in his heart that that wasnt it. Maybe Blaine wasnt sure of it yet, but Kurt knew.

"What did he do?" Kurt asked.

"He... Well at first he tried to calm me down and get me to keep going, but I told him no and that I shouldnt have even been there, let alone been doing that and... He called me a useless slut and kicked me out and told me I better not show my worthless ass in his bar ever again unless I was going to put out. " Blaine said in a bit of a rush. Kurt could tell he was hurt by the words.

"Blaine..." Kurt whimpered, nearly choking on the name as he tried to provide comfort.

"Its okay... Im okay. I mean... it sucked at the time but I never want to go back there, Kurt. Im just glad I was able to stop it before anything else happened. I just cant believe I was stupid enough to go there in the first place. I shouldnt have..." Kurt hated watching Blaine beat himself up over this. He scooted a little closer, pleased when Blaine didnt move away for once.

"Blaine, I dont care that you went there. Well—no. I guess I do. But mostly Im just upset because you werent able to come to me when you were upset. But you went there, so what? What does it matter? What matters is that you had enough strength to stop yourself from doing something you knew wasnt right." He soothed. Blaine looked at him in disbelief, like he hadnt even thought about that part of it. All he could focus on was the negative.

"What happened when you left?" Kurt asked.

"I just started walking. I had to get away from there and I just walked without paying any attention. I didnt really think about it until I was in front of your house and I know I should have left, but by then I felt so tired and I didnt have any strength left to turn around and go home. Im sorry that I came here." He said for what felt like the thousandth time that night.

"Im not sorry. Im glad you came here." Kurt told him, squeezing his hands in his. "I cant believe you walked all the way here, but Im glad you ended up here."

Blaine nodded slightly at that, not quite agreeing, but thankful that Kurt wasnt angry. He wasnt quite sure what to think of Kurts all around acceptance and comfort, but he didnt want to question it right now. He was way too exhausted for that.

"You should hate me." Blaine murmured when Kurt didnt speak again.

"Why would you say that?" Kurt seemed genuinely curious, as if he couldnt possibly imagine hating Blaine. That made Blaine feel even guiltier.

"Because Im horrible. I hurt you and I didnt even realize it." Blaine couldnt even look at him.

"Sometimes I think I should hate you. Sometimes I think it might be easier if I did." Kurt admitted. Blaine closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly, though the pain that was caused by those words was palpable.

"But I cant." Kurt continued. Blaine looked up quickly with a shocked expression on his face. "I couldnt ever hate you, even if I wanted to. I know when I try to convince myself that it would be easier if I did hate you, its just the pain talking. It wouldnt work out in the end. You would still be the amazingly talented man I saw playing at Giovannis, and I could never hate you."

Blaine considered this for a moment before he nodded and looked away. Why was Kurt always so understanding? Why couldnt he just do the logical thing for once instead of being so caring and selfless?

Then again, that was one of the qualities that had Blaine falling for him in the first place.

"I should go before I overstay my welcome." Blaine said, trying to stand up. He wasnt feeling very well, but he knew he couldnt impose any longer.

Kurt had thought otherwise. "No, Blaine. Youre way too tired to go home right now. Just stay here. Ill take you home tomorrow."

"Kurt, I cant—"

"Yes, you can. Im not letting you leave like this. Youre too worked up and you need to relax for a bit. Just stay. Please? For me?" Kurt looked up at Blaine through his eyelashes as he pleaded with him, full-blown concern shading his features. Blaine was too tired to put up a fight.

"I... Okay. Ill—Ill stay. If youre sure." Blaine caved.

"Of course I am. Come on, Ill find you some sweatpants." Kurt took Blaines hands and pulled him up off the couch to lead him to his bedroom. There, he sat him down on the bed and rummaged through the bottom drawer of his dresser.

"I thought Kurt Hummel didnt own sweatpants." Blaine tried for a snarky tone but the heaviness from the night drowned it out.

"Youre now and forever sworn to secrecy." Kurt simply said, tossing a pair of black sweatpants at his face. Blaine couldnt fight the small smile that was forming as Kurt tossed a t-shirt at him as well before disappearing into his walk-in closet. Once they were both changed, Kurt emerged from his closet with a yawn.

"Tired?" Blaine asked as he fought his own yawn.

"A little. It just hit me how late it is. Or early, rather." Kurt said, glancing at the clock. "You can sleep in here tonight," he gestured to his bed. "Its more comfortable and you need the rest."

"Kurt, I cant take your bed." Blaine protested.

"Relax. The bed in the guest room is almost as good. Ill be fine. You just sleep." Kurt had to practically force Blaine under the covers in between his objections, but the urge to sleep was stronger and he didnt put up much of a fight.

"Comfy?" Kurt asked. Blaine smiled sleepily in response, barely able to keep his eyes open, as he sank against the pillows. "Thought so." Kurt remarked. "Good night, Blaine."

"Kurt—wait." Blaine mumbled, trying to stay awake. Kurt turned and sat on the edge of the bed, giving Blaine his full attention. "Im—Im sorry. About everything. Youre right. Youre always right. Im sorry that I was too oblivious to notice."

Kurt wanted to cry. He wanted to make Blaine wake up fully so they could talk about this. He wanted to figure this out so he could finally get the lump out of his throat thats been choking him for weeks. He wanted to stop waiting.

More than anything, he wanted to kiss Blaine soundly and wrap him in his arms until he couldnt remember anything else but that feeling.

But he couldnt do any of those things. Not right now, anyway.

So he settled for taking Blaines hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. "Its okay, Blaine. Well... Well talk tomorrow, okay? Good night." He moved to get up and leave once again but Blaine stopped him and caught his wrist.

"Will you stay? Please?" Blaines eyes were bright and pleading through their half-lidded, sleepy state, and Kurt knew he would never be able to say no to him.

"Ye-yeah. Let me go turn off the light." Blaine let go of his hand to allow him to do so, but as soon as Kurt slid under the covers Blaine rolled right into him, curling up against his side and cuddling into his warmth. "Thank you." Blaine whispered as he drifted off to sleep.

Once his breathing evened out and Kurt was sure he was asleep, he let out the breath hed been holding and closed his eyes slowly, just barely allowing himself to enjoy what he had while he had it.

"If only you knew, Blaine."