April 30, 2015, 7 p.m.
If I Could Use Your Love: Chapter 3
T - Words: 3,577 - Last Updated: Apr 30, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 36/? - Created: Jun 23, 2014 - Updated: Jun 23, 2014 74 0 0 0 0
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"Ill make you a deal, but you dont have to follow it if it makes you uncomfortable. Its... maybe not the most ideal way of doing things but... I think it could work. But only if you want to. I dont want you to do this just because I suggested it. You have to decide if youre comfortable with it." Kurt leaned forward and looked directly into Blaines hazel eyes. Blaine instantly felt intimidated and worried.
"...Whats the deal?" He asked, hoping Kurt didnt notice him shrinking in his chair a little bit.
"Date me."
"Wait, what?" Blaine was thankful he didnt choose that moment to take a sip of his water, because he was pretty sure it would have been spat out all over Kurt.
"Well, not really. Just for the media and public and stuff like that. Just... Pretend to date me." Kurt took a sip of his drink, looking very nonchalant and calm as if he did this sort of thing every afternoon.
"But... You just got angry with me because you thought I was doing exactly what youre suggesting we do..." Blaine spluttered out, still unsure if Kurt had actually made the suggestion.
"Well, think of it from a different angle. If Im the one suggesting it, no harm done, right?" Kurt quirked an eyebrow in a playful manner and had a smirk on his face. Blaine blinked a few times and shook his head to clear his thoughts and process everything that had been said in the past three minutes.
"... Why?" he finally asked, looking at Kurt straight on.
"To get you noticed." Kurt leaned forward. "Let me lay it out for you. I know a lot of people in the business. If I introduce you, that will make people listen even more because they know I think youre worth it. On top of that, Im very big in the medias eye because of the series and movies Ive done. The fact that Im gay just stirs up even more interest. Everyone will want to know who my boyfriend is the second they find out Im taken. Were both extremely talented—though you probably more than I—which, again, will turn heads. And Im not going to pretend youre not drop dead gorgeous, even when you put on a sweatshirt after a show and your curls have all gone astray." Blaines eyes widened and he blushed, unable to stop himself. He looked down and pushed his lettuce around the plate with his fork while continuing to listen to Kurt. "Add all of those factors together and people cant help but notice you. Theyll want to notice you."
Blaine took a deep breath and put down his fork; his salad still went untouched. His gaze fell back to Kurt, studying him briefly as he processed Kurts speech. The expression on the other mans face was genuine, but Blaine was still waiting for the punch line. Why would someone like Kurt Hummel be offering to do something as big as this to a nobody musician like Blaine Anderson?
"I... Kurt, I—"
"You dont have to, its just a thought." Kurt interrupted. "I figured its a way for you to get noticed without changing who you are. Honestly, I think people will like that."
"The fact that Im too shy to talk to anybody?" Blaine raised an eyebrow.
"More so the fact that youre modest. But, yes, in a way. The whole shyness factor will be a new thing for them."
"But..." Blaine began, gathering his thoughts. "You do realize the fact that Im so introverted is the reason Im not... comfortable..."
"Im not saying actually date me, just for the public eye and media." Kurt shrugged and Blaine couldnt help but wonder how he could be so indifferent about this.
"But... Why?" Blaine finally asked.
"Like I said, youre talented, and people should know that."
"No, I get that... But what do you get out of it? Why would you do this for me? Youd just be used and unavailable..."
"Well, first off, Im not being used to get famous if it was my idea and Im okay with it, so dont worry about that. And second, its probably best for me to be unavailable right now. I have a lot going on without having to worry about a boyfriend on top of that... Well, an actual boyfriend anyway. But itll be nice to have a close friend, if youre up for it." Kurt got a little quieter towards the end, and Blaine wondered if Kurt was actually as sure about this as he led on.
"Are you... youre really sure? I mean... you dont have to do this for me. If—"
"How are you guys doing?" Shaun interrupted them while carrying a tray with their lunch.
"Great, this looks delicious." Kurt said in a cheery voice. Blaine looked up at Shaun and smiled as he set down his plate.
"Thank you," He said, watching Shaun refill their glasses.
"If you need anything just let me know, all right? Enjoy." Shaun gave a small wave and walked away. Both Kurt and Blaine started to pick slowly at their food as a tense silence fell between them. Finally, Blaine put down his fork and spoke up.
"Listen, Kurt, if youre just... if youre looking for a friend, Ill be happy to be there for you, but you dont need to do anything for me in return." Blaine said sincerely. Even with his introverted personality, Blaine took any close relationship very seriously. His seemingly budding friendship with Kurt was one that he would not mess up because Kurt felt like he needed to do something in return for someone to talk to.
"Yeah, yeah Im sure." Kurt said quickly, putting down his fork and looking up at Blaine. "Trust me, Im not just doing this because youre a charity case to me. Youre not." Kurt reached across the table and surprised Blaine by laying a hand on his. Blaine froze for a second, but did not pull his hand away. "You... you seem like you could be a really good friend and I want everyone to know how great you are. Maybe I can give myself a pat on the back in the end for helping you get there."
Blaine smiled gently and turned his hand and gave Kurts fingers a gentle squeeze of encouragement. It was a gesture that surprised him and filled him with warmth in a familiar way, one that he hadnt felt in a long time. Kurt returned the smile and had a subtle gleam in his eye.
"So... what do you say?" Kurt questioned in a soft tone.
"Well, I guess it couldnt hurt to try it out, right?" Blaine responded, making sure to keep his mind from wandering to the familiar feeling tingling in his fingers.
"Are you sure?" Kurt squeezed his fingers in assurance.
"Wait... I think we should talk about this first." Blaine said, pulling his hand away slightly and already regretting feeling the cool air on his skin that came with the loss.
"Didnt we just do that?" Kurt asked, sitting back in his seat and pulling his hand back to fiddle with his napkin.
"No, I mean... our ‘relationship." Blaine clarified using air quotes.
"What about it?"
"Its strictly for the media, right?" Blaine asked a little hesitantly.
"Yes." Kurt said simply.
"Just holding hands and stuff for the crowd?"
"Well..." Kurt glanced away for a moment then looked back up at him. "I cant really claim youre my boyfriend and not kiss you..."
"Thats what I meant. Holding hands, kissing, just small displays of affection?" Blaine felt the conversation falling into an awkward state too fast.
"Yes, thats what this would be. And we can go back to being friends behind closed doors."
"Okay..." Blaine trailed off.
"Anything else?" Kurt prompted. Blaine took a breath.
"Can we just..."
"Just say it, Blaine." Kurt said when Blaine trailed off and didnt seem to have any plans to continue.
"I just dont want this ‘relationship to make things awkward between us. Can we just promise each other that it wont get uncomfortable? That well stay friends and our relationship will stay platonic even when this is over, whether or not this works out?" Blaine watched Kurts expression fade to an unreadable one.
"Okay, yeah. Yeah, deal." Kurt nodded as he spoke.
"Deal? Are you sure?" Blaine raised his eyebrows in question.
"If you are." Kurts expression changed once more, but he seemed sincere now.
"Thank you." Blaine said with a small smile. He picked up his fork again and began to eat his mostly untouched lunch.
"Im just helping you out here," Kurt followed Blaines lead and began to eat as well. The heavy, serious atmosphere lifted a little and their tones were more casual again.
"Im really grateful for that. So... when do we start?" Blaine asked in between bites.
"Whenever you want I guess," Kurt replied. "I think we should just stick to the story about how we met; I saw you after one of your shows here and we really hit it off."
"Good. I dont think I could lie about anything else anyway." Blaine said honestly.
"Okay then, good. We should probably ease this into the media... Let everyone speculate for a while and then we can announce it at some event." Kurt took a bite of his meal and looked at Blaine waiting for an answer.
"How do we do that? Do we just kind of hang out and let the paparazzi catch us?" Blaine raised an eyebrow.
"Pretty much... we may have to take it a little slow, at least in the beginning." Kurt said. He paused and bit his lip. "For now maybe we should spend time together out of sight of the paparazzi? Just as friends, but that way we can kind of get to know each other a little more before we get into this?"
"Yeah, yeah that should work... I can do this." Blaine dropped his gaze and let out a breathy "I think." That did not go past Kurt.
"What are you nervous about?"
"Same old things... People mostly. Im just... too introverted." Blaine sighed. He felt like he was just going to end up embarrassing Kurt in some way. Hed probably be so nervous on the red carpet that hed throw up all over a reporter. Wouldnt that be a story.
"But look how much youve already opened up to me," Kurt noted sincerely.
"Yeah but... I dont know."
"I told you, people will love it. Seeing you so strong on stage and then all adorable and blushing and flustered the second you leave will make people love you even more. Youll seem like a normal guy with stage fright. People will like it. I did." Kurt remarked. Blaine could tell he was trying to help, but this still felt wrong, like he was using Kurt, even if he had the idea in the first place.
"Its not really stage fright though... its people fright." Blaine unconsciously curled in on himself, looking uncomfortable.
"Well, well get through it," Kurt said lightly, picking up his fork. "For now, were going to play twenty questions."
"Why?" Blaine reached for his fork once more as well.
"Because we are now officially ‘dating and I need to know things about my boyfriend." Kurt had a gleam in his eyes as if he were about to unlock the juiciest secrets about Blaine Anderson. Blaine almost visibly gulped.
"Boyfriend." He repeated. "That sounds weird."
"Better get used to it." Kurt smirked.
"So whats you favorite color?" Kurt asked as he finished his lunch.
"Green." Blaine responded without missing a beat. Kurts eyebrows raised in surprise.
"Well that was a quick response," he chuckled. "Any particular shade of green that you like best?" He wondered.
"A lighter green. Kind of like... A light mossy color I guess. Theyre—its hard to describe." Blaine averted his eyes in hopes that Kurt would not press the matter. He knows he slipped, but he doesnt want to share this with Kurt.
Kurt watched him closely for a moment before speaking. "Im not... keeping you from anything with this deal, am I?" He questioned. "Because you dont have to agree to date me if Im interfering with... anything." Blaine froze at his words. Was he really that obvious? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears from appearing at such an inopportune time.
"No, no trust me. Its—youre not interfering." Blaine finally said. Kurt seemed to understand and didnt push. Blaine let out a silent thank you to whoever was listening, and finally got a hold of himself. Maybe he could open up to Kurt about it one day, but definitely not when they had just met.
"How was everything?" Shaun asked as he approached the table just after Kurt and Blaine had finished eating.
"It was wonderful, thank you." Kurt said smiling.
"Yeah, thanks Shaun," Blaine agreed.
"Can I get you anything else, or would you like the check?"
"Im all set, are you?" Kurt turned to Blaine.
"Yes, Im fine. Ill take the check, Shaun." Blaine offered, reaching out for the black envelope Shaun was about to hand him. Kurt snatched it away before Blaine got the chance to grab it.
"You will not." Kurt used an authoritative yet friendly voice. "I asked you out to lunch, its my treat." He slipped a credit card into the envelope and passed it back to Shaun before Blaine got the chance to protest. Instead, he sat there with a dumbstruck look on his face before realizing just how idiotic he must look. He cleared his throat and gave Kurt a slight nod.
"Thanks," He said quietly.
"You can get the next one, if you feel the need." Kurt smiled at him in a teasing manner.
"Were probably going to be going out on a lot of dates, arent we?" Blaine asked with a light laugh, already knowing the answer.
"At least until its official that were dating." Kurt explained with a shrug. "We can make a lot of those coffee dates, if you like. That way we can make a quick getaway if we really need to."
"Okay, that works," Blaine was starting to feel a little better about this. He figured once he got to know Kurt more he would be more comfortable with the whole thing. He took a sip of what was left of his water and looked back at Kurt.
"So... Whats your favorite color?" He asked Kurt. He wanted to know as much about Kurt as Kurt knew about him.
"Oh, I cant choose a favorite. Sapphire, maybe? It depends on the season, really. Or whats in style." Kurt smiled.
"I shouldve known you were into fashion." Blaine laughed.
"I live for it!" Kurts face lit up, and Blaine knew he hit the right topic. Kurt rambled on about different style trends and his favorite designers. He told Blaine about his love for fashion ever since he was young and how he used to take his girlfriends shopping so he could save them from their god-awful wardrobe choices. Blaine smiled and commented in the appropriate places and just listened. He was finding that he genuinely liked Kurt. He liked listening to how confident he sounded and how passionate he was.
"Im boring the hell out of you, arent I?" Kurt stated.
"No, no of course not. Im actually finding this really amusing. Animal print sweaters, huh?" Blaine laughed. "Even I wasnt that bad in high school."
"Yes, well Rachel Berry has since had a little bit better of an eye for fashion." Kurt rolled his eyes playfully. Blaines jaw dropped in shock.
"Wait, Rachel Berry, as in the Tony Award winner? That Rachel Berry?" Blaine asked incredulously.
"The very same! We went to high school together and moved to New York together after graduation. I was there for a year or so until I went to the open casting call for the movie Secret Sides and I moved out here when I got the part. But yes, Rachels fashion sense was a train wreck in high school." Kurt laughed at the memory, then said, "I didnt know you were a Broadway fan."
"Really? I love Broadway! I thought about going into theater, but I decided on music instead." Blaine said sheepishly. Kurt, however, seemed very impressed.
"Well you definitely seem like the kind of person who could pull it off," Kurt noted, then paused for a moment. "What do you mean you werent that bad in high school? Did you have a horrible fashion sense that could rival Rachel Berrys?"
"Well I went to a prep school with uniforms so there werent many days I could wear whatever I wanted, but I had an interesting fashion sense back in the day..." Blaine glanced away.
"Dont tell me... God you didnt wear stained tank tops and baggy pants did you?" Kurt looked almost mortified.
"No, I had more style than that... just an interesting one." Blaine laughed.
"All right... Please tell me you didnt try to rock the Fruit of the Loom t-shirts and faded jeans." Kurts expression was one of horror, and Blaine couldnt help but laugh again.
"Nope!"
"You werent trying to bring back clothes from another decade were you?" Kurt questioned. Blaine shook his head. "Okay, what was it? How bad?"
Blaine looked up at Kurt. "I feel like Im about to be judged."
"You are." Kurt said with a smirk.
"Well, as long as thats cleared up..." Blaine said caustically. "I had an unhealthy obsession with bowties and sweater vests." He glanced at Kurt nervously. Kurt started giggling.
"Oh, this I have to see. Did you have suspenders, too?" Blaine blushed.
"Maybe." Blaine said quietly, unable to look at Kurt.
"All right, you definitely need to show me pictures of this now." Kurt said, keeping his laughter under control. "But I have to say, you made it sound like you were tying sweatshirts around your waist. I was expecting much worse."
"I wasnt that hopeless." Blaine laughed.
"Dressing like an eighty year old while you were a teenager? I guess its not terribly hopeless. Its all kinds of adorable. At least you grew out of it. Otherwise Id have to rearrange your entire wardrobe before we started dating."
"Oh, come on, you cant tell me you never had a phase where your fashion sense took a downward spiral." Blaine provoked, knowing there had to be something he could dish out.
"All right, fine. But tell a soul and I will one hundred percent deny it. Ive destroyed all evidence from those dark days." Kurt warned. Blaine nodded and leaned forward, waiting. "I had this phase in my sophomore year of high school where I started to get jealous that my dad was spending so much time with my stepbrother. I thought it might be because they had more in common since he was straight, so I went around trying to convince everyone I was straight as well, which included a change in my wardrobe."
"Oh, dear." The anticipation was nearly killing Blaine. He knew this had to be good.
"Flannel. Plaid flannel and baseball caps." Kurt muttered.
"No." Blaine said in mock horror.
"Unfortunately, yes."
"Oh, that is too good." Blaine laughed, trying to picture Kurt in ill-fitting flannel and a baseball cap covering his neatly coiffed hair. Kurt rolled his eyes and laughed along with him.
"If you ever repeat that I will never speak to you again." Kurt said in between giggles. Blaine smiled and couldnt help but notice how easy it was to talk to Kurt. Maybe it was because the topic was light and not too in depth, but Blaine figured it was more than that. He wasnt stupid. Hed been through this before, the easy conversation filled with laughter. Kurt was almost as easy to talk to as...
"Well I really hate to end this... but are you ready to go?" Kurt asked. "I just feel bad because were taking up one of the tables and we finished lunch a while ago." Blaine cleared his throat and nodded.
"Yeah, thats fine." He was suddenly nervous again. "So, um... when should we get together again? You know, outside of the public...?"
"Oh! Well, we can figure something out... Here, give me your phone." Kurt held his palm out and Blaine fished in his pocket for his cell phone before he handed it to Kurt. Kurt programmed his number in and passed it back to Blaine, along with his own. Blaine wordlessly typed in his number and handed the phone back to Kurt.
"What do you think about sometime this week? Or even earlier if youd like." Kurt supplied, beginning to stand up from his chair.
"Thats fine by me." Blaine replied, following Kurt through the restaurant. Once they reached the door, they stood still in the corner for a moment, looking at each other and trying to decide what to do.
"Ill see you soon?" Kurt asked.
"Yes." Blaine answered, feeling a little uncomfortable.
"Perfect. Bye, Blaine!" Kurt stood for a moment, as if he was trying to make a decision, but instead he turned with a wave over his shoulder. Blaine exhaled as soon as Kurt was out of sight.
"So!" Kayleigh exclaimed and startled Blaine as he watched Kurt turn a corner at the end of the block. "How was the date?" she said in a sing-song voice with a wink.
"It wasnt a date!" Blaine immediately defended. At least at the beginning it wasnt... Towards the end, thats what it seemed like it turned into. Blaine blushed at the thought, which unfortunately did not go unnoticed by Kayleigh.
"I know that face! Spill!"
"Were just friends; thats it." Blaine said with finality, Kayleigh rolled her eyes and headed back to the podium a few feet away.
"For now." She mocked. Blaine, not knowing what he could really say to that seeing as it was half-true, shrugged his shoulders with a wave and a farewell. He was going to get an earful from her once he and Kurt were "official."