Week 9 Day 5

"And youre going to live with her for four years of college?" Blaine asked in a skeptical tone as they laid side-by-side in the meadow, watching the sun set through the trees.

"Shes not that bad," Kurt told him. "And shes not normally like that..." Kurt paused for a moment. When Kurt introduced Blaine to Rachel she…had some issues to say the least. It wasnt five minutes before she was totally broken down and in tears. And it wasnt truly her fault. When he brought her to the lifeguard stand for Blaines first day back at work, Blaine and Kurt had continued their "not wasting anymore time" period, in which the only words that came out of their mouths were how much they loved each other, or how perfect the other one was, and sometimes they would kiss each other on the cheeks at really random moments, causing the other to blush and giggle. It was as if they were starting over again, because they both knew how quickly it could be over. It was also just too much for Rachel to handle.

As soon as she started crying both boys froze, because for some reason, it became easy to slip out of reality, to forget the gravity of their situation. Just because Blaine looked better, and seemed happier, didnt mean he was.

And thats what their life had become, trying to slip in and out of reality, just to keep some form of normalcy. They didnt want this illness to get in the way of the next three and a half weeks they had together.

"Okay…so Rachel can get over-emotional…and controlling…and hyped up in her dreams sometimes, but I dont think New York would be the same without her. She is one of my best friends, along with Mercedes, who I havent gotten a chance to talk to much lately, but I am definitely going to have you meet her someday."

As soon as he said it Kurt squeezed his eyes shut. It felt so much like it used to, laying in the meadow together, hearing the trees rustle from the breeze, listening to the birds sing their songs, but it would never be exactly like it used to be.

He didnt even know where it came from, but a small sob escaped from his lips, his body lightly convulsing at how hard he was trying to hold it back. It was one of those times where he was brought back to reality, and he didnt know how much of reality he could actually take.

"Hey," Blaine whispered, rolling onto his side and caressing Kurts cheek, causing him to open his eyes again. "No more tears…"

"Its just," Kurt choked. "Youre never going to get to meet her."

"Its okay…please dont cry…" He said, wiping away Kurts tears. Kurt gradually calmed down, angry that he was still having spontaneous breakdowns when he knew Blaine didnt like to see him cry.

"Do you want to know the first thing I would tell her, if we did ever meet?" Kurt nodded slowly as Blaine looked down into his eyes."I would say thank you, for helping the most wonderful person I know get through high school, so that I could have the honor of meeting and falling in love him someday, and proclaim my love to him in song whenever I could get the chance."

Kurt smiled, trying to pull himself back together. "I still cant believe you declared your love for me in front of your entire church, even if they didnt know who I was."

"Was it really that unbelievable?" Blaine asked, pretending as if his feelings were hurt.

Kurt pretended to think through his decision."Maybe not, youve always been one for surprises."

Blaine smiled and gave Kurt a kiss to his forehead before sitting up and lounging on his arms, looking at the stars that were becoming visible in the night sky. "Im really glad we got a chance to come out here again," Blaine said. His grandmother had some event at the church and told Blaine he didnt have to go. Kurt didnt really like that Blaine was sneaking out so much behind her back, especially after the last time she caught him not telling the truth.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked shyly as he laid on the blanket Blaine had brought for them.

"Mhm?" he said, not taking his eyes off the stars. Kurt knew how much Blaine loved looking at the stars.

Kurt hadnt asked it yet because he didnt want to make Blaine upset, or maybe he just didnt want to know the answer. "How much trouble were you in after church on Sunday?" Kurt couldnt even fathom how his grandmother must have reacted to him singing a love song, which she must have known was directed toward Kurt.

Kurt watched as Blaines jaw clenched almost instantly, and he became silent. Kurt waited for him, regretting that he had even asked anything in the first place. But when Blaine finally released the tension, he laid down on his back again, shoulder-to-shoulder with Kurt.

"Not as much as I thought I was going to be," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Why would you do that for me if you knew it could potentially hurt you?"

"Kurt, Ive told you, shes only ever physically hurt me once—"

"Hmm, and I guess not letting a sick boy eat is just a normal day for any well functioning family," he sniped, coming off a little harsher than he wanted to.

Blaine paused, like he was thinking through something. "Can I tell you a secret?" Blaine asked, turning toward Kurt again.

"You know you can tell me anything," Kurt said to him, tone becoming sentimental as he turned onto his side as well.

"Well," he paused for a moment and cleared his throat, his voice becoming a whisper. "Well, the truth is that I have two boxes of Rice Crispy Treats, a few dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, and three bags of Doritos hidden under my bed."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. Blaine noticed the sudden change and mood and tried to apologize, "Oh—Kurt, Im sorry dont—Im sorry I didnt tell you…crap I—"

"You, had donuts, under your bed, the whole time?" He said rather slowly.

"Yes…"

"You had Krispy Kreme donuts under your bed, and you didnt share them with me?" Kurt pretended to be upset. "I feel cheated out on…"

Blaine smiled, realizing he was just being melodramatic. "Next time we sneak into my room you can have as many donuts as you want, after we bake cakes of course, I dont want you to get sick." He said, using the metaphor for what they usually did when they snuck into Blaines house.

Kurt sat up and crossed his arms. "And what makes you think I would bake cakes with a donut canoodler such as yourself?"

Blaine laid onto his back and put his hands up behind his head. "Well…judging by the last time, I would think you rather enjoyed it."

"And what gave you that absurd notion?"

"Were still talking about the same thing here, right? Because if I remember correctly, you were pretty into it." He cleared his throat and Kurt could easily tell where this was going. "Oh Blaine, dont stop, it feels so go—"

Kurt quickly covered Blaines mouth with his own in an attempt to shut him up, which did work, even though he could feel Blaine chuckling underneath of him, probably smug that he was winning. "Okay, maybe I did enjoy it," Kurt said while pulling back.

"I enjoyed it too," Blaine said following him up and trying to get another kiss. "I enjoy everything we do together." He closed his eyes and kissed Kurt again, sucking intrepidly on his bottom lip. Kurt kissed back and threaded his fingers through Blaines hair, breathing in deeply through his nose.

Kurt pulled away after a few moments and pressed their foreheads together."Can we pretend?" Kurt asked softly.

"Pretend what?" Blaine whispered.

"Pretend, just for right now, that were going to have a future." It was a pretty silly request, but Kurt just wanted to feel, for one last time, like how it used to be.

"What kind of future do you want?"

"Any, as long as its with you," Kurt said.

"Do you want to know how I see our future?" Blaine asked.

Kurt nodded slowly and Blaine led them down so they were laying side-by-side on the blanket, looking up at the stars. "I see us like this, looking up at the stars, I dont really know what were doing there, I personally like to believe weve just gotten married, and were living the lives weve always wanted."

"I would marry you," Kurt whispered tentatively.

Blaine squeezed his hand tightly. "And while we lay there, I tell you how perfect everything is, and how perfect you are."

"I dont know, I sort of see you rambling on about the different constellations and their seasonal positions in the night sky."

"Okay," Blaine whispered, "That too." He turned his head and kissed Kurts cheek. "Do you see anything else?"

Kurt thought about it for a few seconds before coming up with something to add. "Well, you being the ever gentleman you are, let me pick our honeymoon destination."

"I did? And what did you pick for us, may I ask?"

"Paris. Thats where we are, laying under the Eiffel Tower."

"That sounds nice," Blaine hummed. "But in exchange you let me pick our last name."

"Last name?"

"Hummel-Anderson or Anderson-Hummel, its actually a pretty big decision."

"I think thats a fair trade. And what did you end up choosing?"

"Anderson-Hummel. You can never go wrong with alphabetical."

"Or is it because it makes your name first?"

"Hey, the gods wanted what the gods wanted, so they made my name first in the alphabet."

"Did they now?" Kurt laughed.

Blaine laughed along before they both quieted and stared at the stars."We could still have this future, maybe if I fought hard enough."

Kurt turned his head to look at Blaine. "All I want is for you to be here as long as you can, with the knowledge that you are loved by someone, with the knowledge that you are loved by me." Kurt didnt really know how he was telling Blaine this without breaking out into tears, but it was something Blaine needed to hear. Kurt needed Blaine to know that if he couldnt win this fight, that he would still be loved no matter what, and that it wasnt his fault if he couldnt make it.

"You dont know how happy you make me," Blaine confessed.

"Its still probably not as happy as you make me," Kurt replied truthfully, because Blaine made him so truly happy, and it was deeper than most people could fathom, because in the grand scheme of things Kurt would give anything for Blaine, a kidney, his bone marrow, and the truth be told, he had already given him his heart.

Kurt went home that night with a different outlook on their situation. Like no matter what happened, he would be happy if Blaine could be happy, and Kurt had a mission to make Blaine as happy as he could possibly be.

Week 9 Day 7

"I think I want to call my dad," Blaine said over the phone. It was Friday night and Kurt was watching a movie in his bedroom, doing nothing extremely productive with his time. Rachel was out with Finn, trying to get their last few hours together before she had to leave tomorrow.

"Why would you want to call your dad?" Kurt asked, surprised that Blaine was even considering it.

"I dont know…It was a dumb idea…" Kurt could hear the disappointment in his voice.

"No, I mean, I just dont know what brought this up. When was the last time you talked to him?" Kurt asked, still skeptical of the whole idea of calling the man who almost put Blaine in the hospital.

"Not since I left…" He said quietly.

"So your own father hasnt spoken to you for almost two years? But, why now?"

"Kurt," he exhaled. "I want to say goodbye."

Kurt was taken aback. "So youre already saying your goodbyes?"

"I think that I need to start making some sort of amends with people…I guess it would be more of me telling him how much hes done for my life. Like sending me here because of something I couldnt change, never letting me speak to my mother, not giving a shit when I was diagnosed with cancer. Things like that. Maybe Ill just tell him how much I hate him…I dont know."

Kurt thought it through for a few moments. "Its not just because youre angry, right?"

"Ive been thinking about it for a few weeks actually, and I think that I should get it over with. Its something I really think I need to do to move forward," he said.

Kurt sighed. "If you really need to do it, then Im not going to stop you," Kurt told him. This was something big for Blaine, and Kurt should be supportive of whatever he chose to do. "In fact, Ill be right there as you call him, holding your hand. Unless you dont want me to be, then Ill just sit at home and make myself a turkey sandwich or something…"

"No, Id love you to be there. Youre probably the reason Im going to end up thanking him."

"Why would you ever thank him?"

"Well…without him, I would never have met you."

"Do you just have a notebook entitled Lines I know will make Kurt cry hidden under your bed with all those donuts?" Kurt asked sarcastically, whilst wiping a tear of his cheek.

"Youre crying? Crap," he heard Blaine mutter under his breath.

"Im used to it," Kurt said. "Ever since my mom died Ive always been an easy crier."

"How are the dreams doing?" Blaine asked. Kurt couldnt tell him that theyd been occurring even more frequently than even in the previous week.

"Better…" Kurt knew he was lying, but he didnt want Blaine to feel bad, he wanted him to stay happy, even though he didnt know how happy calling his father would make him in the long run.

"Well, if you ever need me, Im always just a phone call away," Blaine told him.

"I know, and if you ever need me Ill be right there by your side." Kurt could hear Blaine pause for a yawn. He must be awfully tired after the past couple of weeks.

"You should get some rest, we have plenty of time to talk about this tomorrow."

Blaine yawned again. "Maybe youre right…"

"Arent I always?" Kurt joked.

Blaine laughed before he said his goodbye. "I love you, Kurt, and I hope you have some very sweet dreams tonight."

"I love you, too. Goodnight, Blaine."

And then begins another restless night of worrying he wont wake up the next morning.