Sept. 18, 2014, 7 p.m.
Just a Look: Chapter 7
E - Words: 1,332 - Last Updated: Sep 18, 2014 Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: Sep 18, 2014 - Updated: Sep 18, 2014 147 0 0 0 0
On the way down the stairs back to the elevator Blaine stopped suddenly in front of Kurt as he quite vividly remembered what they were doing before the rain started. "Whats wrong?" Kurt asked.
Blaine turned around and looked up at Kurt, smiling brightly. "Arent you supposed to know everything?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Weve been over that."
Blaine took a step up and placed his hand on Kurts shoulder to keep steady. Without another thought, Blaine tilted his head up and pressed another kiss to Kurts lips. Blaine refrained from running his fingers through Kurts damp hair, although every bone in his body wanted to.
"Blaine," Kurt gasped softly when they finally pulled apart.
"Kurt," Blaine whispered, almost mockingly as he smiled. "I just needed to do that again."
"Surprises, surprises," Kurt sighed as Blaine began his way down the stairs again. Except Kurt didnt move. When Blaine reached the bottom step he realized Kurt wasnt following him, and he quickly turned around to make sure he was okay.
It was like a switch, like the sudden pouring rain out on the roof. The way Kurts face suddenly fell and the smile that gave Blaine so much joy disappeared, and all that was left was sadness. "We cant," Kurt whispered.
The change of tone was so unexpected Blaine almost didnt register what Kurt had said. "Cant what?" He asked, walking slowly back up the steps.
Kurt bit his lip. "Its better if we stop this now, before one of us gets hurt."
Blaine felt like he was being punched in the gut. "Did I do something wrong? Im sorry if I was being too forward I-"
"Blaine," Kurt said, stopping him before he could finish his apologies. They were face-to-face now, but Kurt looked as if he was doing everything in his power not to look Blaine in the eyes. "Its my fault. I shouldnt have let it go this far." His sad blue eyes finally looked at Blaine. "Nothing can come of tonight, its for our own good."
Blaine knew exactly what Kurt was trying to say. Hed seen it throughout the night. The way Kurt tried to stay detached, pushed Blaine forward only inch by inch, refrained from any talk of the future as if it didnt exist. Kurt had been trying to tell him; the second they parted ways that would be it, they were just two people who met at a party. Blaine was just naive enough to think it could be any more than that.
"I understand." Blaine nodded, trying to show as little emotion as possible, he wouldnt allow himself to get upset. "If you dont want to get coffee anymore..."
"I still want tonight to last as long as possible," he said tenderly, although it didnt sound all that reassuring. "Just-"
"Just no kissing?"
Kurt nodded solemnly. "I shouldnt have…This wasnt supposed to happen."
"You didnt do anything wrong, and its better this way," Blaine said, letting go of Kurts hand, which he hadnt realized he was still holding. Blaine wondered if Kurt could tell he was lying.
They stood at opposite sides of the elevator as it went down the massive apartment building. Blaine stared down at his shoes, avoiding Kurts eyes which were fixed on him. Blaine felt as though Kurt could see everything: his wants, his desires - which made this particular moment even more uncomfortable because the only thing he yearned for was Kurts lips against his, again. The kiss they shared on the roof was one of the most exhilarating sensations hed ever felt. However, as they stood feet apart, the moment grew more and more bittersweet.
"Im sorry," Kurt said.
"Sorry for what?"
"The kiss."
"Which one?"
Kurt smirked slightly, until his face dropped and he exhaled. "All of them."
The elevator doors opened and Blaine shook his head. "Dont be, because Im not."
Blaine moved swiftly out of the elevator, making his way through the lobby of the building. Kurt probably regretted the whole night as he did the kisses. Who would ever want to be with, let alone kiss, someone like boring, dull, lonely Blaine.
"Blaine!" Kurt forced in a hushed tone. "I just want to explain…"
"Do you think we should wait for the rain to die down before heading out?" Blaine asked, acting like he didnt hear what Kurt said. What else did he need to explain? Was there more he wasnt telling him?
Soon they were standing out in front of the building, which was covered for a few feet so they werent getting wet. "Theres a diner not too far from here, I actually know the waitress," Blaine told him.
"Does she have the night shift?"
Blaine interrupted Kurts question by taking his hand and pulling him out into the rain. "Excuse me!" Kurt laughed.
"Now you know how it feels!" Blaine called back, laughing like nothing had changed. And it shouldnt have changed. They were still only two people who met at a party.
"Do you have a nonfat mocha?" Kurt asked the waitress, Cynthia, who wasnt too pleased that they walked into her diner drenched at three-thirty in the morning.
"We have regular or decaf," she deadpanned.
"Regular is fine," Kurt replied. "Not exactly the Lima Bean," he murmured under his breath.
Cynthia turned to Blaine. "Blainey!" The middle age woman grinned and smacked on her gum. "What are you doing out this late?"
Blaine blushed with embarrassment and avoided Kurts reaction, he didnt want to give him more reasons not to be there. "Well there was a party…"
Cynthia looked at Kurt and then back to Blaine. "Oh…" As she poured him a cup of coffee she whispered, "Hes cute."
Blaine tried not to look like he wanted to die, although he agreed with her. "Do you want some eggs? Bacon?" She asked.
"No, Im fine."
"Okay Blainey, well you tell me if you two want anything."
As she walked away Kurt looked like he was going to explode. "Go ahead," Blaine said.
"Blainey?" Kurt laughed. "Can I call you that?"
"Please dont."
"Oh Blainey, its okay. Also you were lying when you said you didnt want the eggs and bacon," Kurt said simply as he took a sip of coffee.
"Its not like it hurt anyone," Blaine mumbled.
"But to deny yourself one of the greatest pleasures that is eggs and bacon certainly hurts yourself."
"Sometimes we cant have what we want."
Kurt peered at him, halfway through another sip of coffee. "No, I guess not."
They were silent for a few minutes, avoiding each others eyes as they sipped their coffee. It was becoming more and more difficult to act like nothing had changed. Blaine kept playing the night over and over in his head. Every kind word, every soft touch, every moment their eyes met. Was there something wrong with Blaine? Were all of those words and moments just Kurt feeling sorry for how alone and mundane Blaine was? And once it looked like Blaine might actually have feelings for him it was too far?
The words that came out of Blaines mouth broke the silence like glass.
"What was all of this, Kurt?"
Kurt lifted an eyebrow. "All of what?"
"Teaching me to skate, having me sing, taking me to your special place, all those times you kissed me? I thought I understood but the more I think about it the more I think I was just some loser you felt sorry for."
"Thats not- Why would you-" Kurt stumbled over his words.
"Yeah, thats what I thought," Blaine said as he threw a few bucks on the table. "Thanks for the night, Im sorry you had to go through it."
Kurt looked almost horrified. "Its not what you think! Just let me explain!"
Blaine ignored Kurts pleas and quickly made his way through the diner.
"Blainey is everything okay?" The waitress asked as Blaine made his way through the diner.
"Say hello to your husband for me," Blaine mumbled as he walked out the door and into the pouring rain with a burning chest. He could feel tears welling in his eyes, but he refused to cry, especially over something as unimportant as a guy hed only met a few hours before.
But he wasnt unimportant, he was the reason he could sing again.