EPILOGUE

The funeral was held several days later.  Finn delivered the eulogy, and then called Blaine to the front.  Blaine had planned to speak, but broke down.  None of the children could manage it either, so Adam stepped up to the podium.

“A long time ago, this stunning man with the voice of an angel auditioned for my show choir group at NYADA.  And I fell in love.   But he was already so in love with someone else that I never had a chance, but I was lucky enough that he decided to keep me around as a friend.  And when I met the man he was in love with, I understood.  It was through Kurt and Blaine that I was introduced to the love of my life, who made me forever grateful that Kurt didn't want me.”  Chuckles erupted around the room as he continued, “I have loved both Kurt and Blaine for years, and as tempted as I am to tell really embarrassing stories about both of them, and believe me, I could, it just wouldn't be the same without Kurt's bitch glare telling me to shut up without uttering a word.  I know we're all here to celebrate Kurt's brilliant life, and Finn did a great job of that.  But I also know that while we're trying to celebrate, we're also mourning, because now each and every one of us has a huge Kurt-shaped hole in our hearts and our lives, one that we'll never be able to fill.  So I'm going to try to express how I feel, and how I know Blaine and the kids feel, how I think most of us feel, using Kurt's favorite medium:  song.

Every single morning I wake up and pray

I'll find the strength inside me to get me through the day

The shower falls like a thousand tears

If could just get past the fear

Of living life without you every single day

Every perfect stranger I pass in the street

Their eyes they shine like diamonds, and their happiness is complete

How can they laugh and carry on

Don't they know that you have gone

And I am left without you every single day

Every single day I find

You're the first and last thing on my mind

I'll miss you till the end of time

I'll miss you every single day

Everyone knows sorrow, loneliness and shame

But until you lose someone you love

You'll never know real pain

What am I supposed to do

Without you here to pull me through

Your memory

It just won't do

Every single day

Every single day I find

You're the first and last thing on my mind

I'll miss you till the end of time

I'll miss you every single day

Everyone knows sorrow, loneliness and shame

But until you lose someone you love

You never know real pain

What am I supposed to do

Without you here to pull me through

Your memory

It just won't do

Every single day

Your memory

It just won't do

Every single day [1]

* * *

After the funeral, everyone gathered in the apartment.  It hadn't been that full since a party the year before Kurt got sick, but it never felt emptier to Blaine.  There were so many people that no one really noticed when he slipped away.  The kids, with help from Carole, Finn, Quinn, Adam, Evan and Ben, played host, so he really wasn't needed.  It wasn't until everyone left that Ellie, who was planning to spend the night at the apartment, found him.

A few minutes later, she placed a panicked call.  “Uncle Finn?  Can you come back to the apartment?  It's Papa.  Please, hurry!”

Ellie hovered nervously in her fathers' bedroom doorway until she heard Finn's knock half an hour later.  Rushing to let him in, she said, “I found him like this after everyone left.  He won't talk to me at all, and I'm so scared.”

Finn walked in, seeing Blaine sitting on the bed staring at bottle after bottle of pills.  Each time Kurt had gone home, he had been sent with pain killers; he almost never took them.  Finn realized quickly that there must be hundreds of pills.  “Hey, Dude, what's going on?”  He asked, approaching Blaine cautiously, as though he were a wounded animal.  He didn't want him to suddenly take anything if he hadn't done so already.

“I could be with him.  It would be so easy.  I wouldn't have to figure out how to do this without him.  It wouldn't even hurt, that's what these are for, to make the pain stop.”  He gave a humorless laugh.

“Blaine, look at me,” Finn said.  Blaine slowly looked at him with red, tear-filled eyes.  “You know what they say, it's journey, not the destination.  Even though Kurt's journey is over, it was a hell of a ride; he's made it to his destination, but you haven't.  You're going to end up in the same place, but your journey is just going to be a little longer than his.”

“It doesn't have to be.”  Blaine said brokenly.

“You're right; you can end yours right here, right now, and be with him tonight.  But you know Kurt and the bitch glare.  Do you really want to deal with that for all eternity?  And eventually, a long time from now, Ellie will be with both of you, and then you'll have it from both sides.  Are you prepared for that?”  Finn pointed out. 

Blaine smiled for the first time that day, before beginning to really laugh.  “No, I'm really not, now that you mention it.”

“Good.  Let's get you something to eat.  I don't think you've had anything all day.”  Finn put his arm around Blaine's shoulders and guided him out of the room.  As they passed Ellie, who had been watching from the doorway, he whispered to her, “Get rid of those.  Now.”  She nodded, then ran in to gather up and dispose of the pills.

Later that evening, after Blaine went to bed, Finn and Ellie searched the apartment, finding and getting rid of all of Kurt's old medication.  Still worried, they called the boys, explained the situation, and the three children worked out a schedule to stay with Blaine for a while, and to search the apartment for drugs every day or two, just in case the thought of joining Kurt recurred.

* * *

  Over time, the kids quit spending nights at the apartment.  Blaine began to try to live again, which included starting to write again.  His plays and music were both as successful as ever, but critics noticed that his newer plays were much different than the light-hearted fare he had been known for.  Eventually, they would refer to the work done after Kurt's death as Blaine's “dark period.”  It lasted the remainder of his life.  But he did continue to have a life, to live as Kurt would have wanted him to. 

Three months after Kurt passed away, he sat in the congregation and watched a tiny red-headed young woman marry a tall blonde man.  As she walked back up the aisle in the last KHA wedding gown that would ever be designed, now on the arm of her new husband, she reached out to touch Blaine's shoulder, silently mouthing, “I miss him so much.”

KHA designs carried on, officially headed by Ellie.  Ellie, however, left the day to day workings of the business to those who knew the industry better than she did:  Jenna ran the business end, while Amanda and Mason ran the design divisions.  Everyone involved strived to live up to Kurt's legacy.

Patrick eventually became known as one of the top art restorers in the country, if not the world, as well as an artist in his own right.  He married an art history professor at NYU, and they gave Blaine his first grandchild a year and a half later.  Ellie followed suit after making partner at her firm, and found herself thoroughly annoyed with Ian for scheduling his wedding, to a kindergarten teacher who loved him dearly and was wholly unimpressed by his rock star status, for a month before her due date, forcing her to attend while hugely pregnant.  Ian had become a star, as the lead singer, lead guitarist, and primary songwriter for his band, on the strength of the song he had written during Kurt's first hospital stay; it would always be their biggest hit.  He too would soon become a parent, his wife having twins just a year after the wedding.

Blaine spent as much time with his grandchildren as possible, telling them all about their Granddaddy Kurt, trying to make him as real and alive to them as he still was to Blaine. 

He spent time with friends and family, and he did his best to always honor Kurt.  He could not, however, bring himself to try to date again or form a relationship with another man.  He was well aware that there would never be anyone else for him. 

As he grew older, he spent more time alone, with his memories.  His favorite place was the room he had shared with Kurt for so many years.  It was in that room, in their bed, that Patrick found him, nearly thirty years after Kurt's death.  They were finally together again.