CHAPTER 16

Kurt realized two days before Thanksgiving that the holiday was fast approaching, and they had made no preparations.  The rules he and Finn had set dictated that the holidays be celebrated in New York, but Finn and Quinn were not looking forward to traveling with a five-week-old, and Carole Ann had been battling bronchitis, so a few days after Ellie's birth they had quietly agreed to celebrate separately, keeping in touch by phone.  After that, the holiday had slipped his mind.  After a quiet discussion with Blaine, they agreed to ignore it, confident that at not quite three, the boys wouldn't remember the omission.  Therefore, they were surprised when the intercom buzzed early Thanksgiving afternoon, announcing the arrival of a deliveryman with a full Thanksgiving dinner, complete with all the trimmings.  There was no card or other information to identify the sender.

This was how their lives were going.  A couple of times each week, groceries were delivered.  Meals arrived either with friends or by pre-paid deliveries courtesy of anonymous benefactors.  Friends whisked the boys away for play-dates, babysitting and sleepovers, and if either of them showed any signs of becoming ill, someone volunteered to take them in, with one of their fathers if necessary, to protect Ellie.  Between the nannies and friends, both men were able to work at least part-time.

One evening over dinner, delivered and paid for by someone who chose to remain nameless, Kurt said, “Blaine, what would you think of me taking a break from theater?  I can do most of my design work here, so I can be here for Ellie when you're at work, but I can't do that if I'm in rehearsals and then doing a show.”

“Sweetheart, it's fine.  I was hoping you'd decide to do that, but I didn't want to push you.”

“I don't want to give it up entirely.  I was thinking maybe I'd go back after they tell us it's safe for her to go out, and maybe do limited engagements.  Maybe one six-month run a year?”

“Whatever you want to do.  I wouldn't mind at all if you decided to give it up entirely, but I think you'd miss it and eventually regret it.  And there are several theater critics, not to mention your fans, who would cheerfully string me up for even suggesting the possibility.  But you need to do what's best for you, and for our family.”

* * *

Christmas was much the same.  They managed to do some shopping, mostly for the children, and bought presents online for friends and family, thankful for the option to have things delivered.  Someone saw to it that they had a Christmas dinner, for nine this time, since Kurt and Blaine's parents were all in town, along with Cooper.  They had all visited briefly shortly after Ellie's birth, but had not come for Thanksgiving for various reasons.  Kurt and Blaine were glad to see them, and the boys were thrilled.

Ian and Patrick tried hard to monopolize their grandparents and uncle, and explained everything that was wrong with their sister at length.  None of it, of course, had to do with her size, prematurity, or possibly compromised immune system.  She slept too much, cried too much, couldn't use the potty, smelled funny and was no fun to play with.  They greeted the news that all of these things would improve with time with the same skeptical looks they'd given Kurt and Blaine when they'd tried to explain.  The only one who seemed to be able to give them hope was Cooper, who explained that their Papa was just as useless when he showed up, but that he got better.

“And it only took twenty years or so,” he joked.

“Hey!”  Blaine protested.

“I gotta call ‘em like I see ‘em, Baby Bro,” was the response.

The only thing to mar the holiday was the fact that Burt was tired a lot and really didn't look good to Kurt.  He tried to talk to his father, who brushed it off.  Carole wouldn't answer questions about it, but she was clearly stressed as well.  A call to Finn confirmed that the situation had been like that for a few weeks but that neither would discuss it with him either.  Preoccupation with the children was the only thing that kept Kurt from demanding to know exactly what was going on.

* * *

Kurt was in Milan when the call came.  Burt had had another heart attack.  He had been ignoring symptoms of heart trouble and increased blood pressure for a few months; he had even skipped a physical, the first time he'd done so since his first heart attack when Kurt was a junior in high school.  Carole had tried to get him to go to the doctor, but it had only resulted in fights.  By the time they were able to reach Kurt, Burt had already had surgery to implant a stent and to open up the arteries supplying blood to his heart.  Kurt wanted to rush home, but Finn assured him that everything was under control and there was nothing he could do.  Burt would still be in the hospital when he returned home, and he could see him then.

Kurt managed to finish his schedule in Milan and Paris, and was on a plane to New York, with a connecting flight to Ohio, within hours of finishing his last scheduled event in Paris.  At the hospital, he felt lost, alone, and helpless, a familiar feeling.  It seemed to him it was just like the first time, and like the first time, he tried to push Finn and Carole away.  The one critical difference was that Burt was conscious, and more than ready to tell Kurt not to shut his brother and mother out.  Kurt started to argue that they weren't his real brother and mother, when he realized he'd had Carole longer than his own mother, and Finn was the only brother he'd ever had.  So instead, he lectured his dad about his diet, his exercise habits, ignoring warning signs of health issues, and anything else he could think of.  Burt took all he could, and then told Kurt to shut up, which resulted in the dam breaking.  Kurt started crying and all his fears of losing his father came pouring out.  Burt, Finn, and Carole tried but were unable to calm him down.  Ultimately, it took a phone call to Blaine, who had to stay in New York with the children because it was too risky to travel with Ellie, to get him to calm down slightly.  After getting Kurt from near hysterics to merely weepy, Blaine asked to talk to Carole.  After hanging up, she spoke to a doctor, and they attempted, unsuccessfully, to convince Kurt to take a sedative.  Finally, stress and jet lag did the trick, and he fell into a chair and began to nod off.

“Finn, take your brother home before they have to put him in the next bed,” Burt ordered.  “And don't leave him alone.”

Finn nodded.  “Sure thing, Dad.”  He was aware Carole wouldn't leave Burt alone at night; he'd already fought and lost that battle.  He put his arm across Kurt's back and heaved him into a standing position.  “Come on, Bro.  Let's go home.  Your nieces and older nephew want to climb on you anyway.”

Once at Finn's place, he was settled onto a couch with a blanket and pillow, since Finn and Quinn didn't have a guest room.  He was awakened the next morning by his nieces and nephew, all of whom wanted to talk to him before going to school or day-care.  Over breakfast, he was filled in.  They hadn't really told him before, because it didn't seem necessary, but now his worry over Burt overdoing things made it essential to let him know what was going on.  When Finn and Quinn began dating again, Finn was still filling in at the tire shop; Quinn often came to meet him there, and had fallen into the habit of helping with the office work at the shop.  Now, in addition to her real estate and decorating businesses, she was running the business side of the tire shop in an effort to get Burt to slow down and decrease his stress level.  Burt still worked at the shop, but the guys who worked for him were under strict orders from Quinn not to allow him to overdo it; they complied because they were much more afraid of Quinn than Burt, something Kurt couldn't fault them for.  Both Finn and Carole had tried to get Burt to see a doctor, improve his eating, exercise more, and worry less, but it had only resulted in arguments and seemed to increase his stress level.  The same had happened when they had threatened to call Kurt.  Kurt wasn't at all pleased his father had hidden his condition from him, nor was he happy about his family's complicit behavior, but he understood they were just trying to help.

What no one seemed to be able to get a handle on was why Burt's stress level was increasing.  The shop was doing well and turning a profit.  Kurt was no longer bullied in any way, and in fact, was quite successful and happy with his life and relationship.  All seven of Burt's grandchildren were healthy and thriving.  As far as anyone could tell, the sole point of stress in his relationship with Carole was concern over his health.  Kurt vowed to get to the bottom of the issue and find out the reason behind the stress.

That afternoon, he went to the hospital.  The doctor was in with his father, but Burt motioned for Kurt to come in.  They were discussing sending Burt home within the next few days.  Kurt remained quiet until the doctor left, then said, “Dad, I know you want to go home, but until you decide to make some changes, you might as well stay here.  That way when you have the next heart attack help will be close by.”

Burt sighed.  “Fine.  I'll start following those diets you and Carole figured out for me.”  Kurt merely raised his eyebrows.  “And I'll start walking again.”  Kurt continued to look at him silently.  “And go back to getting checkups.  I don't know what else you want me to do.”

“Your stress level needs to come down.  No one's sure why it's up in the first place.  Quinn's taken over the most stressful part of the shop, I'm fine, Finn's fine, all the grandchildren and your son and daughter-in-law are fine, and as far as anyone can tell, you and Carole are fine.  The legislation you worked for is still going strong, and your friends in Washington are still pushing forward, making even more progress for equality for everyone and for funding for the arts in education and for education in general, even though you've retired from Congress.  What's up?”

“I'm sixty.”

“Yes, I'm aware.  We celebrated, remember?”

“Your grandfather . . . .”

“What about Grandpa?”

“He was sixty when he died.  You probably don't remember.  You were just a kid.”

“Dad, I was six.  I don't remember a lot, but I remember some.  I loved him, but let's face it:  he didn't have the healthiest lifestyle.  His diet consisted of starch and grease.  He did no real exercise and thought the TV remote was the greatest invention in the history of mankind.  He was overweight, and he smoked, at least some, I remember the smell.  And I also remember you and Grandma talking about how he never went to the doctor.  Let's look at how your life is different.  You don't smoke, never have.  Your diet isn't what it should be, but it's better than his was, and you have time to make improvements.  Your weight is good, and you can start working on the exercise again; you were pretty good there for a while, I guess I have Washington traffic issues to thank for that.  And you had been good about going to the doctor, until recently.  Most of the changes that are putting your life in danger are recent, and those combined with stress will kill you.  You can't stop taking care of yourself because you're afraid you're going to die; if you do it'll become a self-fulfilling prophesy.  Stop thinking about how he died at your age and start working to prevent the same thing happening to you.”

“I guess you're right.”

“I usually am.”

“Hey, I don't care if you are all grown up, don't go getting smart with me.  And Kurt, thank you.”

“You're welcome.”