Kurt sits on a park bench in Central park and sips on a non-fat mocha.  Its cool outside with signs of spring blooming.  He spent quite a lot of time just sitting on his favorite bench people-watching and just breathing in and capturing some peace between school and work.  He has kept to himself as much as he could since he left.  He never realized that things would be so quiet without Blaine.  He did spend a year in the city without him for goodness sakes!  He had a life, friends and a decent social life.  True he had an ache inside whenever he thought of Blaine after the first break up, but he had buried it deep and found a way to live an active life despite the fact that he missed his best friend.  Now it was different.  Its like the color in life around him has gone black and white, silent and in slow motion.  Now he can sit in a crowded room and feel completely alone.  He supposed it was Karma.  Last time he was trying to get over Blaine because he cheated, this time his misery was all on him.  His actions that night haunts him, to be honest, his behavior the last few months before that did too. He looks back on past moments with shame. He lies awake most nights recounting their fights, remembering himself spitting out biting comments at Blaine.  He especially thinks about the night Blaine left, he remembers the tears that fell from Blaines eyes as he felt his rejection.  Kurt allows himself to feel the pain now, the pain he did not allow himself to feel during the fights when he hardened his heart towards Blaines pain.

 Therapy is slowly helping him realize things about himself; unfortunately, mostly its that he was an asshole. Three years ago he thought moving to NYC would solve all his problems, but things have been such a rollercoaster of ups and down.  Blaines betrayal, down, his fathers cancer, down, his success at Vogue and NYADA, up, his fathers remission, up, getting back together with Blaine, up, his struggle for theatrical work, down, Finns death, down, his fathers second heart attack, down, losing Blaine, free fall.  His doctor says that not feeling he has control in his life has left him untrusting of people and the future.  Even his days of being bullied led up to this loss of trust in the good that life has to offer  He just kept things bottled up and kept brushing aside his fears and pain as best he could. Not facing his feelings and not communicating, just had all his anger and frustrations fester until he was left exploding and directing it at his relationship with Blaine. Its not like they did not have things to work out, but he realizes now that he never once tried to speak to Blaine about his feelings. All he did was bitch at him about non relevant things to blow off steam.  Blaine had been so patient and Kurt just continued to hit him below the belt, playing on his insecurities when he felt stressed.  Kurts sharp tongue has always been his shield and weapon of choice, but it was not Blaine he had to protect himself from, it was himself.

Kurts thoughts got interrupted as Elliot stepped up.  He decided to meet him for lunch finally after cancelling two other times. Elliot was one of the few people that knew about his break up with Blaine.  Elliot, true blue as always, has come over every Friday with movies and comfort snacks and allowed Kurt to cry on his shoulder and share whatever insights he has been getting from therapy.  Other than their Friday night shut ins, Elliot has tried to get Kurt to go out, this is the first time Kurt has finally given in. 

"So, penny for your thoughts?" Elliot says as he sits next to Kurt, giving him his warm smile that Kurt always finds comforting.    

"Oh honey, my thoughts are worth way more than a penny. On second thought, these thoughts probably would cost me.  In fact, as my second therapist I am surprised that you havent charged me yet."

"Oh, Kurt Hummel, your company alone is worth a million dollars.  Elliot jumps up and offers him a gentlemanly arm.  Shall we go?  Kurt nods his head graciously and loops his arm through his.

"So kind sir, what do you have planned for us this fine day?"

"Well, first we will have lunch at that café that serves noting but guilt free food that you like and then as a very special treat for you, I am going to let you pick an outfit for me for the fundraiser I am going to for Lung Cancer.  I volunteered to do a performance to support the community center that is hosting the event. Its actually right here at Central Park in about two weeks, right before Easter."

Kurt felt his spirits lift immediately.  Fashion always could bring him joy, even during the darkest times.

"Wait a minute, you are letting me dress you?  Starchild himself, I didnt think Id ever see the day".

"Well, I am tired of seeing you mope around all the time; it was time to bring out the big guns"

"Just remember, you gave me free reign"

Elliot turned to him with a look of surprise and panic. "Wait a minute, I never said anything about free reign" Kurt lets go of his arm and runs up ahead to hail a cab. 

"What? Sorry you are too far away I cant hear you" he says has he run towards the street.  He turns and gives him a confident smile.  "Dont worry I got this."

Elliot laughs and shakes his head.  Maybe he should have thought this through a little more.

Later that night Kurt and Elliot end up back at his apartment.  Kurt was not going to let Elliot off without seeing the whole outfit all together.  Kurt is laid back on his couch taking a bite of the pizza that he had agreed to in order for Elliot to get his full glam on.

Kurt almost choked when Elliot comes out.  He looked good.  Kurt did his job well, maybe a little too well.  Kurt nailed it.  A great mix of Elliots glam rock look with a little Kurt Hummel charm. 

"So, what do you think?" Elliot says as he spins around.

Kurt hoped the blush he knew he had to be sporting wasnt too obvious. "I think I am too good even for myself sometimes" he says with a Cheshire cat grin.

"Ill have to admit, I dont usually let anyone mess with my outfit choices, as I am very confident I can bring it without any help, but I am digging this outfit, even though these pants are a little tighter than I usually go."

"Well you are wearing the hell out of them" Kurt coughs a little surprised at his own words and takes a sip of his water before he says anything else more embarrassing.  Its been a long time since he ogled a guy like that, and this was Elliot.  Was he that deprived that he couldnt hang out with his hot gay friend without blushing? He knew the answer, yes, yes he was.

Elliot stares at Kurt a little and then shakes a thought out of his head. 

"Ok, well its late, Im going to get dress and get out of here before I am forced to sleep over, something tells me that you would hog the covers and leave me to freeze all night"

Kurt laughs, he was glad for the break in the awkward tension. "Lets be serious, you have cuddle whore written all over you, Id never have a chance" Kurt inside cringe a little after he speaks as their interaction reminded him of the batter he would have with Blaine.  Blaine was forever finding ways to tangled all their limbs together in the night.

"I never had any complaints in the past" Elliot says in a seductive tone and sexy eyes.  He smiles and drops the sex pot act and doesnt notice Kurts reddening face.   Anyway, let me get out of this outfit before my stylist has a fit."  Elliot leaves to change behind the partition. 

Kurt leans back on the couch.  His head hurts.  He was lonelier than he thought.  Spending time with Elliot had really helped ease the constant ache he had in his chest.  It was nice to laugh again, but wasnt he supposed to be miserable.  Didnt he deserve it?

Elliot comes out a few minutes later.  Kurt grabs his coat and walks him to the door. 

"Tonight was nice Kurt.  It was good to see you smiling again.  I missed my lively friend.  I am sorry that things did not work with Blaine.  You are great guy and deserve to be happy" Elliot leans in and kisses him on the cheek.  Kurt missed the contact once it was gone; the warmth of another persons embrace was nice.

"Thanks Elliot, I really needed today.  See you next Friday?"

Elliot smiles that warm smile Kurt is finding addictive "Looking forward to it".