Blaine was going crazy.  No really, this was what going crazy had to feel like.  This past month he felt like he was in a state of purgatory. The night he left Kurt he couldnt face his parents.  Though the tears had stopped, he felt too broken to have to face the conversations he had to have.  He called his parents to reschedule for the next evening.  He needed a place to stay the night and did not want to call any of his and Kurts mutual friends.  He knew exactly who he could call. Gertrude was happy to take him in for the night.  Kurt would have loved that!  She was the only person he could think of at that moment since all he did was replay the fight over and over again in his head wondering how it took such a disastrous turn.  Unlike Kurts presumptions about Gertrude, she gave no signs of being a cougar and lent a mature ear to his troubled woes.

Gertrude was married once and had her own heart aches, at 38 she had already a daughter in college and an 11 year old son. She did have a good relationship with her ex-husband, the father of her daugther. They had a troubled past but he had proven to be a good father and after 13 years of being apart started to find their way back to each other.

The talk with Gertrude was still fresh in his memory;

"Listen Blaine, you had a pretty grueling few years.  Kurt was harsh, but from what you told me, he also has had a lot to deal with at a young age.  Now, Im not saying there is any excuse for him hurting you like that, I just know that as mature as we try to be, we make mistakes when we are young, but from experience I can tell you that you can grow from them.  Theres something about the way you speak about him and what you told me that touches my heart because it sounds like you met your soulmate.  I know this may sound silly due to my history, but I know what it sounds like because I have found mine as well. I met my ex-husband Luis when I was 17 years old, I was married by 19, pregnant by 20.  I got pregnant right away because it felt like if I didnt I could somehow lose him.  Listen, I did not have the best influences growing up, it seemed like the way to secure our relationship.  We struggled for six years together, there were happy times, but they were marred by the fact that I had no education to get a better job to help support the household, not to mention a toddler at home to take care of as Luis had to work long hours doing construction and other side jobs to keep us afloat.  We did not have a plan and resented each other for the unhappiness in our lives.  I was lonely, Im not proud of it but I cheated on my husband.  I was 25 years old and I wanted to feel young and desired.  Luis worked all the time and when he was home he was always grumpy and we argued a lot.  In the end I told him about the affair that turned out not to be as exciting as it seemed it would be and left me feeling hollow because what I really wanted was my husband.  I knew Luis loved me, but he was not brought up to learn how to work through such a betrayal.  His pride was at stake and he did not realize that maybe we could somehow made it work with time and patience.  He stayed in our daughters Gabriellas life and was a good father. Throughout the years I have had other boyfriends and made poor romantic choices but Luis remained a constant in my life, and not only because of our daughter, but because he was my best friend.  We did not always stay close, but whenever we did take the time to reconnect and talk, it always seemed like coming home.  There were always excuses why one or both of us never tried to pursue the other, even after he divorced his 2nd wife, but the reality was, we were just fooling ourselves that living a life of compromise was what we had to do. Well, now 13 years after we broke up and by the grace of god, here we are finally trying to give it a go.  I never been so happy Blaine, and even looking back at the years in the beginning, they still were my happiest, despite all the heartache because I was with Luis.  So overall, what I am trying to say is that finding your soulmate early is not easy, but once you find them, no matter how hard the journey may be, dont ever let them go because once you have known that kind of love, nothing else will ever compare."

"Thank you for sharing your story Gertrude. So, I guess that you would be against marrying at a young age as well." Blaine felt like maybe he was finally starting to let go of the battle he been having with the whole world including his fiancé, well ex-fiancé."

"You would think so wouldnt you?  No Blaine, I am not.  I know it is hard finding your soulmate at an early age.  Yes, I would say if you could hold out before entering into marriage early then maybe you should, but if it feels right and you both have a plan of how you will deal with the challenges ahead, then I would say go for it. The hardest part of marriage is finding the right person.  You have to go in with your eyes wide open and expect it to be hard and something you have to continuously work at, especially a marriage at a young age."

Blaine started to feel sick again. He really didnt have a plan did he?  He could hear one of Kurts signature questions ringing in his ear, "Whats the plan Blaine?"  Kurt always loved to whip that out when Blaine was less than focused and got them into unplanned chaos.   Kurt always kept them grounded and had a plan and Blaine had come to depend on it.  Blaine would balance his high strung boyfriend with his patience and zest for life and adventure. He was so used to defending the idea of marrying young, he never really tried to look at the cons objectively and set up a plan.  Maybe if he sat with Kurt and worked on planning out their future then maybe he could have eased some of Kurts fears. Hindsight was a bitch.  Despite his feelings of guilt he was not going to beat himself up about their current situation.  Kurt was 50% of this relationship and he never tried to talk, he just bitched and ranted and didnt face his other fears and stress outside of their relationship.  He dumped all his frustration on Blaine on a daily basis and Blaine let it happen and tried his best to be patient.  He would have never given up on Kurt the way Kurt gave up on him, never.  Blaine was angry, and though doubt was seeping in, he embraced his feeling of anger.  He did not want to think of all the things he would miss about Kurt right now, or his faults in the relationship, he just wanted to focus on being angry to get him through.  If Kurt wanted to work on things, he would call him.  He didnt talk to his parents yet, there was still time to turn back.  Kurt had to make the move.  It had to be him.  He had until 6pm tomorrow evening until Blaine would have no choice but to ask for his parents help and ask to return home till he was able to support himself.

Kurts call never came.  The next day Blaine had to face his parents and tell them that his engagement was broken and that he and Kurt were over.  He expected to see a smug look on his fathers face and delight in his mothers eyes, but he saw none of that.  What he saw was pity, and that was even worse.  His father offered to handle all the financial aspects of the move and sending Kurt a few months rent.  He hated the idea of taking money from his parents, but he had little savings between keeping up with his studies and offering what he could towards the rent.  Kurt really did cover ¾ of the rent since he moved in.  He just got paid more at Vogue.  Kurt never seemed to complain about it until that night, but Blaine started to realize that maybe he should have made himself more aware.  He put aside thoughts of guilt.  Kurt had his chance to work on things.  Blaine would have looked at his faults and worked on doing better but Kurt did not give him a chance.  Now he was forced to move backwards and return to Ohio to try to figure out how to begin again.  Making the choice to leave NYADA was not an easy one, but he knew he would not be able to face Kurt for a while.  It would be too hard.  Even the thought of trying to figure out how to stay in NYC was too much.  He also wanted to hide from their mutual friends.  In Ohio, he still had his Warbler brothers he could lean on.  There was just a safety at home that Blaine craved for, which NYC could not provide at the moment.

Over four weeks later and Blaine was going crazy.  Blaine lied on his bed staring at the ceiling like he did most days.  He got a part time job at the music store.  It was the only thing he was able to fight his parents on and have for himself.  His father offered to get him a temp job at the firm, but he felt that he already went enough backwards away from his dreams.  He felt if he started to work at his fathers firm he would somehow get trapped.  Hell, at this point he was starting to wonder if his Father could really convert his sexuality...nah, he liked a certain male member way too much.  Even in Blaines head saying the word felt crude.  The only one who could bring the dirty out of Blaine was Kurt.  When he would wear those tight jeans that left nothing, I mean nothing to the imagination to what Kurts natural attributes were and when Kurt would move those hips that had him dreaming of getting on his knees...alright, thats enough, gay, he was definitely gay.

Other than work, things have gotten low for him again. He was too late to register for OSU, so he would have to wait for the Fall.  He hardly ate or slept.  He missed Kurts presence so much.  Hed been seeing his old therapist again.  Seeing the doctor helped him keep focused on trying to think of ways for moving on and focusing on himself.  He wanted to put his past behind him and figure out a way to move forward.

Lying there he thought back to his unexpected visit about a week ago....

Hmmf!  "What the hell Santana? Get off my chest!"

Santana just positioned herself even more firmly over Blaines body and planted her hands on either side of him "Why the hell have you been ignoring my calls and why does your face look like ass?"

"My face does not look like ass, and Ive been busy.  Seriously, move, I cant breathe!" he says as he tries to push her off.  Blaine worked out, he was strong, but Santana had an unnatural strength she was very aware she had, not to mention thighs of steel.

"Nope, I am not moving until you tell me why you are not in NY and why you look like you lost 20 pounds and like someone used your face as a rag....Oh my god is this reminding you of when Asian Goth totally molested you with Vapor Rub?!  I told you to use that rape whistle I got you when Kurt left for NYC.  Hags be crazy for pretty gays like you" Santana says with a serious matter of fact look on her face.

Blaine readjusted himself so he could sit up finally. "First of all, you know her name is Tina and she did not molest me, not really anyway. Second of all, I only lost 10 pounds or so and maybe I could use a shave" he said as he scratched his facial hair.

Santana drops down to the floor and sits next to Blaines bed.  She looks into his eyes with a knowing look and he just couldnt hold in his pain anymore.  He starts to blubber like a five year old and all he can say is "Tana, I lost him, I really lost him this time."  Santana slided into bed with him and holds him for what feels like forever.  Blaine told her what happened and pleas with her not to reach out to Kurt when she threatens to make his balls her new keychain charm.

Now, a little over a week since Santanas visit, Blaine is braving himself up to face the world on Valentines Day.  It was once his favorite holiday, but he should have learned years ago that maybe it just was not his day.  A few Valentines days with Kurt had him on cloud nine, but now he realizes that Valentines day without a partner or desire for a partner or prospects for a partner sucks a lot.

Blaine finally gets out of bed and starts to get ready for work.  He puts on some black slacks, and a black v-neck sweater with a black collar shirt underneath.  He would have normally wore red or pink, even donned a themed bow tie, but he was a new Blaine with new priorities.

Blaine walked into the coffee shop near his job before work, he was just rolling his eyes at a giant sign of puppies nuzzling with heart collars when he runs into the guy in front of him. Hot coffee spills on the bottom of his pants and shoes, but luckily doesnt burn him.

"I am so sorry sir" Let me get that.  The man, the very handsome man, the very tall, blonde, built handsome man wearing a gray peacoat with green scarf that matched his eyes swats down to wipe his shoes and the bottom of his pants."

Blaine blushes and grabs the mans arm to get his attention and help him up.  "Thats not necessary, thats alright" Blaine says as the man looks at him with a dazzling smile.  Blaine always thought that when people said "dazzling smile" that was an exaggerated term, but at the moment it seems to fit.

"Hi, my name is Joshua, I dont usually spill coffee on handsome men to get their attention, but when fate sets it up that way, who am I to resist? The man blushes a little at his own comment and seems to brace himself to continue. Umm..can  I buy you some of those Valentine cookies to have with your coffee?  Tis the season!"

Blaine was taken aback by the mans comment.  Was he flirting?

Joshua is already buying the cookies before he has a chance to say no thank you.  He returns in two minutes with a plate of four red and pink adorned cookies and two coffees.  "I took the liberty of paying for your coffee order, if you are not in a hurry I have a table over there by the window."

Blaine actually had about an hour until work and no excuse to leave. "Sure thanks.  He reaches his hand out.  "Im Blaine by the way"

They walk over to the table and Joshua pulls out Blaine a chair, before he takes his coat off.  Joshua is wearing a similar gray v-neck sweater, grey slacks with a white collar shirt underneath and a pink tie peaking out on top that seems to be covered with small gray hearts.

"Well you are dressed for the occasion" Blaine says has Joshua adds sugar to his coffee.

"Ah, yeah, I like to be festive, Valentines Day is actually my favorite holiday.  Im kind of a hopeless romantic.  A single hopeless romantic. I guess its kind of pathetic" Joshua says as he looks down at his coffee with a little look of embarrassment.

"No, I dont think your pathetic at all" Blaine smiles when Joshua looks up and lights up at the comment.

Maybe this was Blaines day after all...