Chapter 10:  Knocking on Satans Door

Kurt knocks on the door and braced himself for whats to come.

"What are you doing here Peter Pan, I taught youd be in Neverland with the other lost boys."

"Ive missed you too Santana, can I come in?"

Santana steps aside and lets him in.  "So whats up buttercup, what do I owe this pleasure?" she says sarcastically as they both take a seat in her living room.

"My dad told me you were in town staying with Brittany.  He said you came in to the shop about a week ago to get your car fixed."

"Yeah, my cars a piece if crap, but papa Hummel gets the job done."

Brittney comes bouncing in and looks like a kid seeing a wrapped present when she sees Kurt.  She runs and jumps on top of him and ends up in his lap giving him a big hug.

"Ive missed you my unicorn. No one gives boy kisses as good as you."

"Ok thats enough Brit, My Little Pony is already on my hit list," Santana says to her with a warm smile as she pulls Brittney into her lap, where she is sitting on the loveseat.

"Hes obviously a Unicorn Tana."

"Kurt, Im so glad you are in town.  Im going to need your expertise for our wedding," Brittney flashes a pink stoned engagement. "Isnt it awesome, its my favorite color."

Kurt looks at the ring stunned.  "You two are getting married."

"Yeah Kurt, not everyone has a fear of marriage and bails on the love of their life."

There it was the first sting of the evening.  He expected more to come before this visit was over.

"Oh stop it Santana, he cant help that he hurt Blaine, hes a Unicorn and Blaine is a teddy bear, he was bound to poke him with his horn," Brittany says like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well its another one of his horns that is going to get hurt if he hurts my boy again."

Brittany gives Santana a kiss on the cheek.  "Got to run hun, I got dance practice."  "See you later, Kurt, we have to talk, Santana is not very patient with wedding planning.  I was thinking Lord Tubbington should walk me down the aisle on a hover board.  He doesnt walk too fast since he packed on a few pounds after Fondue for Two was cancelled."

Kurt missed Brittanys endearingly oblivious and kooky nature.  It must be nice to live in the world that Brittney has created in her head. If you did not know her you would think she was batshit crazy but underneath it all she can be the most observant and sharp person, especially when it comes to knowing what is right and wrong and seeing a person for who they really are. Not to mention the fact that she is some kind of mathematical genius.  Last, he heard despite her scholarship to MIT, she eventually dropped out to be a backup dancer for a band that has her travel a lot.  When she is in town she teaches dance at a local dance studio.

"Sure Brit, but lets keep our options open for the walk down the aisle, we dont want to wear Lord Tubbington out before the reception."

"You are right Kurt, I knew youd understand.  She gives him a big hug and happily leaves."

"So Hummel, why are you in town?"  Santana says as she crosses her arm over her chest and gives him a look that was clear she was done with the ideal conversation.

"I have to talk to him Santana, I came to try to get him back," Kurt says almost desperately.

"Stop right there, its not happening. Its over Kurt, just move on."

"It not over for me, I love him and he needs to know it."

"Oh, now he needs to know it."  Santana gets up, poised as if she was ready for things to go down at any minute.

"How about when he asked you the night you broke up or before he left his life in NY for you and return to his miserable parents, or the other 5 months that passed and you did nothing to reach out to him."

"I know I messed up Santana, but I am here to fix things," Kurt says pleadingly.

"Well theres nothing to fix here.  Blaine is not broken.  You sure as hell tried, but he is finally moving on with his life and you will not ruin it again," she said in a manner which daringly challenged him to cross her.

Kurt knew she had a point, but he came here to fight for Blaine and he was not going give up.

"Santana, look at me," Kurt stands up and locks eyes with her.  "I love Blaine.  I fucked up and I am sorry." Kurts strong demeanor starts to falter as his emotions start to catch up with him, but he remains determined to get through this.  He feels the tears start to burn around his eyes making its presence and despite the fact that crying in front of Santana is the last thing he wants to do, he embraces his feeling and stands raw before her. 

"God, Santana, I love him.  I was wrong.  I know it.  I know I dont deserve him, but I want him anyway.   He makes me a better person and not the cliché he makes me want to be a better person, because lets face it, I dont usually give a shit what people think of me. Its just that I am a better person when I am loving him.  Loving him makes me different.  I am able to love and feel love in ways that I have never been able to do or will ever be able to.  Loving him makes me see the world in a different light.  Life is just so much more knowing that he loves me and that I get to love him.  He gives me hope and with him I feel like I can face anything, be anything, and do anything.  I pushed him away because I lost my faith, not in him, but in everything else.  I was afraid of the unknown.  Too many bad things had happen all around me and I was afraid of having faith that things would be better.  I was afraid to love him Santana," Kurt says almost frantic for her to understand.

"I was afraid to trust that our love could get us through what was ahead.  When faced with fear I faced it the only way I knew how, I made myself cold and froze out all the warmth from our relationship.   I dont want to be the person I am without him.  I know I can move on and live and even find some happiness, but I want better and life is just better loving and be loved by Blaine."

Santana wipes away a tear from her face she didnt realize she shed until after Kurt was done with his rant.

So much of what Kurt said reminded her of herself and her own faults.  She saw herself in Kurt, which is why she fought him so hard.  They were the same, two badass selfish bitches that could cut you with their tongue.  She was afraid for Blaine, he was like Brittany, they both love unconditionally and give all of themselves despite the fact that they leave themselves vulnerable to getting hurt.

Santana looks at Kurt and knows he is sincere. She always admired his determination. She decides to take pity on him.

"I would love to get all Lima Heights on you and send you packing to protect my friend, but I know if I let myself believe that I can be better for Brit, I have to have faith that you can be better for Blaine."

"Thank you Santana," he says with relief.

"In the end its Blaine choice if he accepts you or even give you the time of day for that matter, but at least I wont stand in your way.  So, what do you need from me?"

"I want to talk to him face to face, but I rather not call or go to his house, do you know where he works or where else I can find him?"

"You can find him at Scandals, he works their some nights performing. I think hes working tonight.  I suggest that you stop blubbering all over me and grow a pair and go talk to him."

Kurt feels invigorated feeling like he just slain a dragon in his path, which is not so far from the truth.  He wipes his face and all of a sudden feels like he has no time to waste.  He walks quickly to the door and turns to Santana before he leaves.

"Thank you for not going all Lima Heights on me," he says with a smile.

"Oh, you best believe I will if you mess this up Hummel, Esto que te lo prometo"