Kurt grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and leaned down to smell the roses that were still on the counter. They were losing their smell and were starting to wilt a little. It had been a week since he received them so he wasn't entirely surprised, but he did mourn their passing. It was a reminder of Blaine, true, but it wasn't an altogether unpleasant one. The roses let him know that he did still care in a way, even if there was a bad reason to send them in the first place.

Kurt took a drink of his water as he walked into his bedroom to find a small package sitting on his bed. He assumed Rachel had put it there when she got the mail. He walked over to his bed and sat down as he grabbed the package with an eye roll, assuming it was something else from his dad or Carol. They had sent him numerous little packages of things they thought him and Rachel might need. Kurt's hands froze when he glanced at the return address though. It was Blaine's address. He thought seriously about not opening up the package, about ignoring it like he had done everything else, but he was too curious about what was in the small box.

Kurt grabbed a knife from the kitchen to cut through the tape and made quick work of opening the box. He stopped moving when he spotted what was in the box, a CD case. Kurt hesitantly took the case out of the box and stared at it for several long moments. He opened the case and a small smile crept onto his face with him even realizing it. On the CD itself there for was a note written in hand writing Kurt knew all too well.

I hope this helps.

This is my second favorite rendition of this song,

Only behind the first time you asked me to sing for you.

Love, Blaine

Kurt walked over to his CD player and put the CD in. He was pleased with himself that his hands were only slightly shaking as he did so. He thought he knew what was on the CD, thought he even knew how Blaine knew to send it, but he wanted to be sure. He let out a sigh as he hit play and went back to his bed, quickly grabbing the pillow he had gotten used to cuddling even though it hardly smelled like Blaine anymore. Kurt brought the pillow to his chest and breathed in what was left of the familiar scent as "Teenage Dream" started to play through the speakers.

Kurt smiled when he heard Blaine's voice resonate through the room. He was pleasantly surprised when the first thing that popped into his head wasn't the time Blaine sang the song to him at Call Backs. It was a memory from just about a year ago that played through his mind, the time Blaine had claimed was his favorite version of the song. He closed his eyes as he let the memory play over in his head.

He was laying on his back on Blaine's bed with the other man above him. Kurt's hands were bunched into Blaine's hair as Blaine laid soft kisses over every inch of skin he could reach, whispering "I love you" as he moved. Kurt remembered how Blaine's mouth felt on him. He remembered how he was so nervous that night but how Blaine continuously calmed him down with a kiss or a touch. Blaine knew just what to do that night to keep Kurt from having a panic attack while still showing him that he was the most important thing in the world to him.

Blaine had offered to do everything they were nervous about first. He later said that the reason he went down on Kurt first was because he couldn't hold back his desire to anymore, and Kurt believed him because since that first night Blaine had shown that he enjoyed doing that. Blaine had even offered to bottom first since he knew Kurt was nervous about that, but Kurt had insisted that for their first time together he wanted Blaine to top.

Blaine had been so careful when he stretched him open; he tried to make it as painless as possible and tried to distract him when the pain was unavoidable. Kurt remembered the initial burn of Blaine entering him and how Blaine had leaned forward and kissed him deeply to take some of the edge off. Kurt had never felt so connected to someone in his whole life. He remembered watching Blaine move above him and being so happy that his first time was with him.

Kurt had never felt so content with a decision than after his first time with Blaine while he was lying in his arms. Blaine was tracing his hand up and down Kurt's back as they held each other. Kurt had asked him to sing him something, and Blaine had chosen "Teenage Dream," saying that that would always be their song. Kurt smiled at the memory. There was nothing he would have changed about that night. It was perfect.

Kurt hadn't realized how long he was thinking about his first time with Blaine until the song ended. The moment the sound cut out, he missed it. He went back to his CD player and started the song over, setting it to repeat. He gave a small smile when heard Blaine singing through the speakers again. Kurt was surprised at how much he was enjoying the sound of Blaine's voice. He thought he would start crying again the second he heard it because he would be filled with the performance from the previous week and although that performance was there, it wasn't alone, and it wasn't even the most important one.

The most prevalent memory for Kurt was definitely the time Blaine had referred to "Teenage Dream" as their song, and that reminded him of why that was their song. That was the song Blaine had sung the first time they met. He remembered the smile Blaine had given him as he performed the song with the Warblers. There were several other people Kurt could have watched perform that day, but his eyes were only for Blaine. He was sure he looked like a love sick idiot that day, but he couldn't bring himself to care. There were several other people Blaine could have sung that song to that day too, but he kept his attention on Kurt for reasons Kurt still couldn't fathom. That was the day his whole life changed; he had met his closest friend and the person he loved more than he thought possible.

It wasn't until after Kurt had relived those two memories that his mind wandered to Blaine's most recent version of their song. Kurt remembered the tears in Blaine's eyes, how he was losing control while performing, and he knew instantly something was wrong. Blaine didn't mess up a performance, he didn't know how to, and he was letting his emotions get the best of him on that stage. Kurt had no idea what was wrong, but he knew something was very wrong once Blaine's voice cracked the first time. It wasn't until later that Kurt found out that it was guilt getting the best of his boyfriend while he poured his heart out on that stage.

Kurt sighed as the song ended again. During the couple of seconds of quiet before it started over, he heard the door open. Rachel walked right to Kurt's room once she heard the song. She was pleased to hear that Blaine had done a good job with the song. She saw Kurt on his bed and watched him quietly.

"You told him to do this, didn't you?" Kurt asked while casting his eyes on his roommate.

"Yeah," she replied with only a slight hesitation.

"Thank you," Kurt said genuinely.

"Did it help?"

"Yeah, I think it did. It turns out I can think of the good times with that song. The last time he sang it to me wasn't even the first thing that came to mind."

"So what does that mean for you two?"

Kurt eyed Rachel carefully for a few seconds before he breathed in the scent of the pillow again. "I don't know. I mean, how do you just go back to being what you were before after something like this happens?"

"I don't think you do. I think you become something new."

"But is it ever the same? I mean, won't that doubt always be there for me?"

"Maybe. Do you love Blaine enough to find that out?"

"I don't know," Kurt said again with a sigh.

The pair were quiet then for a few minutes. They listened to Blaine's "Teenage Dream" without speaking or making any comments. Rachel noticed how Kurt's eyes closed and a small smile crept onto his face, but she didn't say anything. She always loved Kurt and Blaine together. Whenever she had any doubts in her own love life, she looked to them with confidence; they were her light at the end of the tunnel when it came to love. She still had a hard time grasping the concept that her light might have died.

Kurt thought more about Blaine and about Rachel's question. Did he love Blaine enough to give him another chance? He loved him, that much was sure, but he didn't know if it was enough. Truthfully, he wasn't sure if he was going to be enough for Blaine. For as long as Kurt could remember he felt like he wouldn't be enough for Blaine. He would always be that love-sick boy who fell for the star performer. After they had gotten together, Kurt always felt like he was waiting to wake up from a dream, like what he had couldn't possibly be real because the idea of Blaine actually liking him, actually being attracted to him, was too good to be true. It took Kurt a long time to finally accept that Blaine actually wanted him. All those doubts were back in Kurt's mind. He couldn't help but question if Blaine really did want him.

Kurt didn't know what to do. His relationship with Blaine was the first real relationship he ever had, and it was definitely the first time he loved someone so much it almost hurt. He wished there was some type of manual to tell him what to do, to tell him how he was supposed to respond to what happened, but there wasn't a magical instruction guide. All Kurt could do was look at other people and base his ideas on love and relationships around other people's lives.

"Can I ask you a question, Rachel?" Kurt asked.

"Of course," she replied.

"Was Finn ever able to really forgive you after what you did with Puck?"

"Not right away. I mean, you remember, we broke up after it happened."

"But you guys got back together. Hell, you guys even got engaged after that."

"Yeah, but it took time and us working at it for him to get past it."

"But he was able to forgive you for it."

"Eventually," Rachel said with a nod. "But another thing you have to remember is that I only kissed Puck."

Kurt had the image of Blaine kissing another guy flash through his mind. He forced that picture out only to have it be replaced by several others, each one worse than the previous one. He saw someone's hands traveling Blaine's bare chest; he saw someone else's hand wrap about Blaine's erection; he saw Blaine moaning with his mouth around someone else's dick; he saw Blaine forcing himself into someone else's body. Kurt shuddered as he shook his head in an attempt to rid the images from his mind.

"You know, I don't even know what Blaine did with this other guy," Kurt said with a scoff. "He didn't tell me."

"You didn't ask?" Rachel asked with shock evident in her voice.

"I didn't want to ask. I was afraid of what I'd hear."

"But haven't you just been thinking of everything then? I mean, because you don't know, your mind is automatically going to worst case scenario, Kurt."

Kurt gave a bitter laugh. "Yeah, that's definitely true."

"So find out what happened," Rachel told him like it was so simple.

"I can't just ask him how far he went with cheating on me!"

"Why not? You want to make sure you're making the right decision, right? How can you possibly make the right decision when you're not making an informed decision?"

"Is being informed about it really going to change anything?"

"Maybe. You won't know until you try."

Kurt glared at Rachel. He didn't want to think about asking Blaine what happened. He couldn't deny that his mind was thinking the worst things possible, and he couldn't deny that he had wondered seriously about who it was with, but he was so afraid of what he would hear. He didn't want to risk hearing what his mind was thinking up. A part of him couldn't stop himself from thinking that Rachel was right though. His mind was driving him crazy with what it kept coming up with.

"I'll think about it," Kurt finally said.

Rachel nodded, but stayed quiet. The pair listened to the song again since it was still on repeat. Rachel was pleased. Blaine actually did a very good job with it. She was partially surprised he did so well because of the emotional impact she knew it had on him, but another part of her was expecting it. Blaine knew how much this meant. Rachel only hoped it was enough. She was still a little mad at Blaine, but she wanted to forgive him. Most importantly, she wanted them both to be happy. If they had to break up for that to happen in the long run then she would be there for both of them as much as possible until that happened for them, but she was secretly hoping they could find a way to work things out. She wanted to keep her light at the end of the tunnel.

-:-:-:-:-

Blaine sat on the couch in Kurt's former house with Sam on one side of him and Finn on the other. Ryder was sitting on one chair and Jake was sitting on another, and Artie was next to him. He had been there almost an hour now, and he still felt a little weird sitting there without Kurt there, especially given their current circumstances. Something just felt off about him sitting in what was once Kurt's home knowing that Kurt was still deciding what to do about them, but Sam had insisted on this guy's night. So there he was, surrounded by guys from Glee club, trying to keep his mind on the football game. He was succeeding pretty well actually; at least no one was giving him concerned eyes anymore. He got better and better as the night went on, due in large part to the fact that his favorite NFL team was playing. Thursday Night Football at its finest.

Blaine leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He was watching the screen as his team made their way into the red zone. He was getting into the game really well until he noticed Jake was looking at him very intently.

"What?" Blaine asked him.

"Are you sure you're gay?" Jake asked.

Blaine gave Jake a sideways look before he laughed. "Excuse me?"

Jake actually blushed a little. "Sorry, I just didn't think gay guys usually liked sports."

"Stereotypes, man." Blaine gave a small chuckle to show that he wasn't angry about the question.

Blaine looked back at the TV just in time to see his team score, and he nodded with a smile. He had placed a bet with Sam over the game, and those 7 points put him that much closer to being up twenty dollars. Sam let out a groan.

"You want out?" Blaine asked Sam.

"No, screw that," Sam retorted. "They're gonna come back and win this."

"Alright."

Blaine shook his head with a smile. He was getting less and less uncomfortable as the night went on. Maybe Sam was right; maybe Blaine did need a night with the guys. He was actually having a good time watching football with his friends, even if he was at Kurt's house. After all, it was Finn's house too, and Finn was completely okay with having him there; he even mostly forgave him for what he did. Blaine had completely relaxed into the night and stopped thinking about Kurt. It was a nice break for him.

Everything was going very well until Finn noticed a car pulling into the drive way. He stood up to see who it was, but he couldn't tell.

"I thought you said Burt and Carole weren't coming home this weekend," Blaine said to Finn a little nervously. He really didn't want to come face-to-face with Burt with how things were between him and Kurt.

"They're not," Finn replied, confused until he saw who emerged out of the backseat of the cab that was in the drive way. His face fell. "Oh, shit."

Blaine stood up from the couch, intending to walk over to see who it was that made Finn respond that way, but he froze when that person walked in the front door. Kurt. Blaine collapsed back onto the couch, unable to hold himself up once he saw the man he loved standing in front of him. He stayed on the couch and continuously reminded himself to breath as he noticed Sam, Finn and Artie move over to hug Kurt. Proper introductions were made between Kurt and Jake, and Kurt and Ryder, but Blaine wasn't hearing that. All he could hear was the blood rushing through his veins. He kept his eyes on Kurt and noticed that he was watching him too.

"Hey," Kurt finally said to him.

"Hey," Blaine said back, surprised he even had a voice.

"I didn't see your car here."

"Yeah, I, uh…"

"I drove him," Sam said, coming to Blaine's rescue. He gave Blaine a teasing smirk, and Blaine gave him a grateful look in response.

"We were just watching the game," Finn said, attempting to break up some of the tension.

"Oh," Kurt said slowly.

Kurt had tried looking anywhere in the room but at Blaine, but it wasn't working. He was not expecting to see Blaine there, and he wasn't prepared for it. He knew the whole reason he came back to Lima for the weekend was so he could talk to Blaine, but he was planning on that happening when he expected it. He wasn't expecting to walk into his old house to find Blaine sitting on the couch.

Kurt and Blaine kept their eyes on each other silently. The tension between the two of them was so thick it was almost palpable, like it was some force that was just waiting to be disturbed. They both could feel the other guys watching them, but neither of them could really bring themselves to care. The only thing they could think about was the fact that the other was right there. No one else made a move either as if they were afraid of what would happen if they did.

"So, it's kinda strained in here now," Finn said being the first to break the silence, and his eyes moved back and forth between Kurt and Blaine.

"I can go," Blaine said.

"Don't be ridiculous, Blaine," Kurt said with a small smile, and that smile instantly caused an equally small one to appear on Blaine's face. "It's actually kind of convenient that you're here. Do you think we can talk after the game's over?"

"We can talk now."

"No. Finish the game. You can come up when it's over."

"You're not going to stay and watch?" Jake asked.

"No," Kurt answered with a head shake.

"See, Jake, Kurt's one of those gay guys who do fit that stereotype," Sam said.

"Oh. Are you two together?" Jake asked motioning between Kurt and Blaine.

"Yeah," Kurt replied to Jake but brought his attention back to Blaine.

Blaine gave a small smile. He loved hearing that Kurt still considered them together. He had little butterflies in his stomach just at Kurt acknowledging them as a couple. He felt like he was experiencing his first crush all over again, or even better, the first time he got to finally say that Kurt was his boyfriend. He loved it.

"After the game?" Kurt asked Blaine.

Blaine nodded. Kurt gave a small wave to the rest of the guys and made his way up the stairs. Blaine watched him walk away until he was out of sight. The second he couldn't see him anymore he wanted to get up and follow him, but he forced himself to stay seated. If Kurt asked for later it was because he wasn't ready to talk yet. The least Blaine could do was give him the extra time he asked for, even if it was driving him insane knowing that Kurt was right up those stairs. Blaine let out a sigh as he tried to get his mind back to the game with no avail. Nothing was going to get his mind off Kurt now.

Kurt walked into his room without looking back. The instant he closed the door behind him he fell down it, letting out a shaky breath as he hit the floor. He wasn't expecting to see Blaine, and his body and mind weren't ready for it. He still couldn't believe he actually said he wanted to talk to him when the football game was over. That meant he had an hour at best before Blaine was going to come up to his room, and he wasn't ready for it at all.

Kurt let out a sigh as he thought about just how close he was to Blaine. He was only a short hall way and a flight of stairs away. Kurt had to force himself to stay where he was. He wanted to run down those stairs and into Blaine's arms. He was still hurting and still mad at him, but he missed him. He didn't think he would have that reaction to seeing him. Kurt thought he would be able to keep himself calm and composed as he questioned Blaine about what happened, but his desire to hold him and be held by him let him know that he was very wrong. Kurt was going to have to have a lot of self-control if he was going to get through the night.

Kurt forced himself off the floor and starting busying himself around his old room to try and keep himself distracted. There was still so much of his stuff there that he almost felt at home in the room. He stopped walking around the room when he spotted a picture of him and Blaine on his dresser. It was a picture of them dancing together from his junior prom. Kurt smiled at the picture. He had the same one in New York, but he broke that frame after he threw it the day after Blaine left. Kurt reached out and touched the picture before he let his hand drop to his side. He sat down on his bed with a huff.

This is going to be hard, Kurt thought as he glanced at the door.