June 1, 2013, 12:26 p.m.
To Make You Feel My Love: Part Eleven
E - Words: 644 - Last Updated: Jun 01, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 15/15 - Created: Apr 29, 2013 - Updated: Jun 01, 2013 155 0 0 0 0
Blaine woke the next morning and instinctively rolled over, expecting to make contact with his fiancé's warm body as he did most days. Instead, he landed flat on his back on Kurt's pillow, the sheets stark and cool against his skin.
Slightly worried, he stretched and forced himself out of bed, wandering first into the kitchen and then the living room.
Sure enough, Kurt was there—curled into himself and sitting with his back to Blaine at the window seat, staring out at the city.
"How are you feeling?" Blaine asked, approaching him carefully and gently squeezing Kurt's shoulder.
Kurt flinched away, the movement turning his face enough that Blaine could see that he'd been crying. "Kurt?" he said, concern and fear rushing through him.
"Not right now, Blaine," Kurt's voice was cold. "I need some time." He sniffled, wrapping his arms around himself and folding his body in even tighter.
"I don't think that's wise," Blaine replied, trying to sound kind but firm at once. "I think we need to talk about this."
"I said not now!" It was rare for Kurt to shout, and this time it came so suddenly and vehemently that Blaine found himself instinctively backing away.
He stopped. He was so very tempted to give Kurt what he'd asked for, to walk away and try for later. But something in him was screaming that letting this go would be a mistake. Steeling his resolve, Blaine took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry, but this time that's not an option," he said evenly. "We're going to talk about this, and we're going to talk about it now."
He squeezed in next to Kurt on the tiny seat, looking away from the other man and waiting patiently, listening as Kurt's breath hitched every few seconds.
"I don't even understand what happened," Kurt finally spoke. "I mean—I remember it all, but a lot of it is... it's like I was under some sort of fog, I..."
"There's a word for that, you know," Blaine offered softly.
Kurt closed his eyes. "Please don't say it."
Reaching over, Blaine took his hand. "What are you so afraid of, Kurt?"
As before, it took Kurt a few moments to speak. "I know what this is. I know what it is and it's not what I want to be."
"Kurt..."
"No, Blaine, it's... you don't get it! You get to be the strong one, and I'm the one who's pathetic and weak!"
"Kurt, no, that's not true! You've got it wrong—that's all wrong. Please, let me explain..."
Kurt shook his head, turned to face Blaine suddenly, eyes wide and insistent. "There's nothing you can say, Blaine. I've researched this, I know how it works."
"I don't know what you've read," Blaine said calmly, privately surprised to learn he'd read anything at all, "but submissives are not weak, and they're certainly not pathetic."
Kurt winced at the word, pulling his hand from Blaine's grip. "I'm not a 'submissive'. I won't be. You can't make me into that just because it's what you want."
Blaine opened his mouth then closed it again, uncertain where to take this next. It would be a gamble, but... "If this is all about me, and not about you, then why do you seem to know about it? Why would you feel the need to do research?"
Silence.
"There's nothing wrong with what you are, Kurt. There's nothing wrong with what we are. I'm not going to sit around and let you suffer when I know this is something you need, is something that helps." He stood, and the movement seemed to surprise Kurt, his head whirling around to stare at Blaine in confusion. "I'll give you the time you asked for now. Come find me when you're finished with denial."
With those parting words, Blaine made himself turn and walk away.