AN: A huge thank you to everyone who reads this story. I know I usually post on Wednesdays and Saturdays, but I couldn’t wait to get this chapter out there. I hope you like it! A special thanks to my wonderful, wonderful beta Lieve, and my Tumblr BFF klainesidestory who motivats me so much.

He leaned forward to kiss Blaine again, but Blaine pulled away, with a frown on his forehead.

“I.. I thought you liked it!”, Kurt cried out in embarrassment from the rejection. He could feel another mood swing coming his way.

Blaine’s frown was more prominent now than ever.
“I do… But I can’t do this, Kurt..”

Kurt’s heart fell. The small apartment felt even smaller, and he could feel tears welling up, just waiting to trickle down his cheeks. Damn the doctor for making him feel so vulnerable.

“But I’ll make you a proposition”, Blaine stated with a small smile forming in his lips.

Kurt looked up at him with the fiercest look he could muster.

“I’ll kiss you again if you manage to lay off drugs..”, Blaine finally said with a wink.

It had been a week since Blaine had made that proposition. He left right after that, before Kurt could even answer. Not that Kurt blamed him, he was a blubbering puddle of mess when Blaine promised to kiss him again if he laid off drugs. It was a dilemma Kurt wouldn’t even have considered a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago, he wouldn’t have even entertained the thought of quitting something he loved because another person asked him to. But that was before he had the chance to taste Doctor Anderson’s sweet mirth that resided on his lips. Before he felt the warmth of Blaine’s breath on his tongue. Before he had the best kiss of his life. Since then, Kurt had to revaluate so many things in his life.

The desire of loneliness, for instance. Kurt decided a long time ago that he would never find love in life. He was one of those who would life their lives alone. He knew that no one would put up with his behaviour and attitude. It was only barely Finn tolerated him, and they only met occasionally. His life consisted of doing the two things he loved in life; painting and cocaine. And those didn’t include a third party. No one wanted a life with a drug addict. They had been guys in the past who were fascinated by Kurt’s artistic abilities whom put up with his drug problems, just to be with the budding artist. However, they didn’t last more than a week at the longest. They yelled about Kurt being a madman, an hermit, an insufferable idiot. And then they left, they always left. And Kurt didn’t even flinch, not once. He never got attached to them. They were merely toys to him. Therefore, Kurt had established that he would die alone, because he didn’t deserve anyone.

But he refused to be one of those people with 70 cats in a crammed apartment, who constantly smelled of cat food and urine. He refused to be that man that all the kids pitied when he occasionally came out of his cave. No, Kurt Hummel would be one proud loner. He was going to put his nose in the air and walk a solitary walk with his cane when he became old.

It had been 6 weeks and 5 days since Kurt woke up on that hospital bed. Little did he know then that that specific hospital bed would be the reason for his dilemmas now.

Since then, Kurt felt himself falling for the doctor, harder and harder for every time they met. There had been times when Kurt wanted to break all contact with him just to escape all the problems that came along with the attraction. But, he couldn’t make himself do it. Sometimes at night, he wondered if he was self-destructive because all he wanted to do was to be with Blaine when he knew that he would end up being hurt in the end. Because, like all the other guys, Blaine will leave. He had survived longer than the others, but one day he will get tired of everything and leave. Kurt was certain of that. The only difference is that when Blaine leaves, Kurt would not be unfazed. He would be crushed, because this time he actually cared for him.

In the end, he decided that being self-destructive wasn’t the worst thing to be. After all, there would be no salvation for him, Kurt decided. He had already screwed his life to the maximal. It couldn’t get any worse.

Kurt stared at his wall for a few minutes, the same spot that he had stared at for the past few minutes. He stared at the white paper where he has scribbled down a quote.
“I’ll kiss you again if you manage to lay off drugs”, the paper read. The same sentence that had been on Kurt’s mind ever since Blaine left his apartment a week ago. They hadn’t seen each other since.

At least Blaine had a legitimate excuse as some of the doctors in the hospital had come down with the flu, so he had to work extra shifts, leaving him a puddle of mush at the end of the day. Kurt, on the other hand had just tried to ignore the doctor. He didn’t want to face him yet. He didn’t reply to Blaine’s texts, and he didn’t even open the multiple texts that he got the past three days.

Kurt fumbled after his phone and pressed open when the screen alerted him of 9 new texts from Blaine Anderson.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Kurt, can we please talk?”

“I’m calling you”

“Scratch that, call me when you want to talk to me”

“Are you alright?”

“Kurt, I’m getting worried. Please call me”

“I was an idiot for saying you-know-what. Call me”

“Are you ok?!”

“If you don’t call me within an hour, I’m coming over to your apartment”

Kurt checked the time. He had fifteen minutes left of the hour he had been given. Without allowing himself time to back out, he pressed the call button. Blaine answered at the second ring.

“Kurt”, the relief in Blaine’s voice was more prominent than the sun in the desert.
“I am so glad you called”

Kurt’s voice came out harsher than he had intended.
“You didn’t really give me a choice”

He could almost hear Blaine flinch.

“I was worried”, Blaine mumbled, his kindness surprising Kurt once again.

“I… am sorry?”, Kurt offered unconvincingly.

“No, you are not”, Blaine said, before letting loose a mellow, rich chuckle.

That was all they needed. The two boys cracked up, laughing on both sides of the line. They knew each other so well, even though they had only known each other for almost two months. It was weird really, how easy it was for them to find back to that natural state of their relationship, Blaine thought.

“No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have let you worry”, Kurt admitted. He tugged slightly at his brown locks while playing with them, a habit he had while talking on the phone. He was glad that Blaine didn’t come over; he was in a mess. He hair stuck out in every direction and his clothes didn’t even match. He shuddered inwardly.

Blaine gripped the phone tighter.
“You just.. disappeared after the last time we met. I know that one week without seeing a friend is really normal, but I wanted to know that you are fine… I was worried, you know”, he added the last sentence softly, not sure whether he wanted Kurt to hear it or not.

Kurt felt his heart flutter. Maybe rehab would be worth it just for this. Just to keep this feeling in him, to keep the person causing this feeling.

“I care about you too..”, Kurt whispered, a blush spreading in his cheeks. He had to be honest with Blaine. After all, honesty was one of the only virtues Kurt valued more than any other.

“..Can I come over?”, Blaine asked, though his voice implied that he expected Kurt to decline the request.

Kurt swept his eyes over his apartment. It was a mess, as usual.

“I’ll come over to your place”, he answered firmly.
“In about an hour or so..”

That would give him ample time to shower and fix his hair.

He shot the bookcase a look. He needed some courage, something to get him through the day that he was certain would be hard on him. Blaine probably wanted to talk to him about quitting. Kurt searched through his stash of drugs and fished out a small plastic bag with coke.

Who knows how much longer he would have this. Just the thought of it made his head dizzy and his heart race. He could feel blood pumping in his veins and his veins trying to suck the heavenly substance out of the bloodstream, without finding anything. His throat was suddenly parched and The Craving clouded his vision. One hit before he left couldn’t hurt.

Quickly, Kurt found a razor and carefully ripped open the plastic bag with shaking hands. He emptied the contents on the tiny living room table and used the razor to break up the small lumps of cocaine. Once he was pleased with the result, he moved it into a line with a finger, careful to pick up all the pieces. He ran his finger over his gums and teeth. The numbness kicked in instantly. Delighted with the familiar feeling, Kurt readied the tampon applicator and snorted the line he had prepared. He didn’t take a lot this time, just enough to keep The Craving in line.

Kurt leaned back, to enjoy the feeling before he walked towards the bathroom to hit the shower. He threw his shirt to the floor and peered at his appearance in the mirror. A pale face stared right back at him. He ran his fingers over the familiar bruised on his abdomen. All the scratches, bruises and burns. An outsider would have thought that he came from an abusive home, maybe with a father that hit him as a child. Truth was that Kurt did live in an abusive home just that he was in charge of the abuse. Or the drugs was in charge of him. He wasn’t so sure anymore. He thought he was. He thought that he wouldn’t get addicted when he tried his first shot. And he wasn’t addicted to the substance at first. He enjoyed the thrill of doing something bad, something illegal, something reckless. Now, he didn’t know anymore. All he knew that it was both his safe haven and his worst nightmare.

His pupils were dilated, giving away the substance in his body. The chemicals that were pulsating in his veins, satisfying his body and mind.

Kurt quickly showered and dried his hair. He decided to wear it spiky, the way he saw it on a nice advertisement for hair gel. He pulled on a pair of blue jeans and a white band t-shirt before throwing on a leather jacket. He stopped in front of the mirror again, appraising his choice of outfit. If he could say it himself, he looked absolutely fuckable. There was no way Blaine could resist him when he looked like this.

Throwing a quick glance at his phone, he realised that he was half an hour late already. He checked his eyes and found that the dilation was less noticeable now. He locked the apartment and headed to Blaine’s.

By the time Kurt left his own apartment, Blaine was panicking. Kurt was late. Had he decided not to come after all? Blaine hated it when people were late. It always made him insecure. He himself always liked to be there five minutes early. Had Kurt changed him mind? Those were the thoughts that ran through his mind when he heard the doorbell ring. Jumping out of the couch he was sitting on, he rushed to open the door.

When he opened the door to Kurt, he stopped dead in his tracks. He eyed him from top to toe, before realising what a big mistake it was. Blaine’s jaw dropped to the floor as his eyes clouded over with undeniable lust. Kurt looked smoking hot. No, scratch that. Kurt looked like he was a masculine reincarnation of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of beauty. He looked like he had walked straight out the cover of a magazine. Maybe this was why Blaine never noticed that Kurt’s pupils were dilated.

Kurt noticed Blaine’s reaction and tried his best to hide his victorious smirk.

“Can I come in, or are you going to gawk at me all day?”

Blaine cleared his throat and blushed furiously, pushing all undapper thoughts aside. He opened the door for Kurt, letting the taller boy come in. Blaine’s apartment was impeccably clean as usual. Not a book or newspaper was out of place. Kurt wondered silently if Blaine had a cleaning addiction. It wasn’t normal for a bachelor to have such a tidy apartment.

As Kurt walked pass him, Blaine couldn’t refrain from checking out his ass before mentally hitting himself. What was wrong with him? This was Kurt, one of his best friends. The one he had kissed. Shit.

“So, what do you want to talk to me about?”, Kurt asked, turning towards Blaine with a swift motion. The cocaine in his veins kept him calm and confident. He was sure he could run a marathon that moment.

Blaine cleared his throat again.
“I wanted to apologize, actually”, he smiled friendly.

Kurt simply raised an eyebrow in reply.

“I was being unfair to you.. It was wrong of me to pressure you to quit drugs”, Blaine stated, making eye contact with the older boy. Not for the first time, he was taken aback by how lovely Kurt’s eyes were. He still didn’t notice the slight dilation. It could have been anything. The only thing he noticed was what he wanted to notice; the beauty within them.

Kurt was slightly astonished by Blaine’s apology. This was not what he had expected when he mentally prepared himself to come here. He had expected a confrontation, or maybe even Blaine expressing his regret for the kiss, even though he knew Blaine enjoyed it just as much as he did.

“What do you mean?”, he asked guardedly, thinking that it was too good to be true.

“It was wrong of me to try to blackmail you into quitting. I know that it’s not easy to stop misusing drugs and that some people never manage it. I just.. I guess I just want you to be happy and not destroy yourself”, Blaine said with a cautious expression, looking for any sign that he had upset the beautiful boy in front of him.

Kurt was about to say something when Blaine interrupted him.
“Hear me out. I shouldn’t have offered myself as a prize,  if I can be considered a prize at all, I should have offered you help and assistance. And above all, I should have offered you myself as someone you can lean on when things are too hard for you to deal”, Blaine smiled with that familiar twinkle in his eye before he continued.
“That’s why I’m doing it now, Kurt. I know that things will be hard, but I want you to try. I know that deep inside you wish for a life where you’re not dependant on anything or anyone, let alone drugs. I know it’ll be hard, but I want to help you through it. I want to be your friend, your confidant and maybe even something more”

Kurt was shell-shocked. Ok, this was definitely not what he had expected. He swallowed audibly and was suddenly very self-conscious of himself.

“Blaine..”, he mumbled, trying to string together his thoughts. What did this mean?

“Let me just say it.. Kurt, I think I’m falling in love with you”

AN: There. He said it. I hope you guys are happy. And I’m not sure whether I’ve written this before, but you can find me on Tumblr as well. I’m gleeloving.